Baby I'm In (Honky Tonk Angels #3) (16 page)

Nothing could have shocked her more and from the expression on his face, he was a bit surprised as well.  His hands fell away and he stepped back. “I need you to stay.”

“Why?”

He blew out a breath, shook his head and looked down.  “You think I’m some kind of player.  Everyone does.  A man who takes his pleasure from women and walks away.  Maybe I am.  Maybe that’s who I became, but it’s not who I was or who I want to be.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know.”

“Then tell me.”

“So, it’s time for truth between us?”

His question brought clarity.  “Yes.”

“Then tell me your truth, Liz.”

Ah, so here it was.  The test.  Liz nodded and hopped up on the tailgate to sit.  “I was born Heather Elizabeth Quinlan.  My mother is Bonita or Bonny Evans Quinlan McMann.  Her father is Stuart Franklin Evans, a man who made his fortune in banking and venture capital.  My father is Lucas Cooper Quinlan, the owner of Quinlan Energy.  His is the third largest energy company in the world and he’s the most charismatic and the most ruthless man I’ve ever met.”

She couldn’t look at Kyle as she spoke, and barely recognized her own voice, it was so flat and void of emotion, but it was the only way to get the words out.

“I have a twin brother, Cooper.  We grew up in South Dakota in a life of extreme affluence, the best of everything.  Our mother loved us enough to stick it out with a man she’d come to realize had married her only for her money.  The day after we graduated high school she left.  She’s now married to Senator Thomas McMann and is finally happy.

“I graduated from Stanford with a Masters in Geophysics but instead of returning home as my father demanded, I went on the rodeo circuit as a trick rider.  While doing that I met Morgan Redgate, a bull rider.

“I took money from a trust my grandfather set up to support us and finance his career.  He was climbing the ranks. We were together for over two years and the day after he made it onto the pro circuit we were married.  My father found out and demanded that I have the marriage annulled.  It wasn’t a suitable match.”

As she talked, the emotions flooded in – the fury and the hurt – how betrayed she’d felt. It became an effort to keep the emotion from her voice.

“I told him to go to hell and he was furious.  He sent men after us, to bring me home. Each time they found us we ran. They came for us one night in Tulsa.  There was a terrible storm. They broke down the door of our motel room.  We fought our way out with only the clothes on our backs and made it to our shitty old truck.  I was driving.

“They chased us, rammed us, drove us off the road.  The last thing I remember was Morgan yelling that he loved me.  I woke up to discover myself in South Dakota.  Three weeks had passed and my husband was dead.”

Liz looked up and saw the frown on his face.  She couldn’t stop to wonder if it was inspired by disbelief.  At this point it didn’t matter.  She’d gone too far to stop now.  He’d have her truth and then he would do with it what he wanted.  That was up to him.  She’d give him what he asked for.

“The day I was discharged my father sent a car for me, to take me home. When I walked in I was informed to appear in his private den.  Once there he raked me over the coals about my irresponsibility and disloyalty.  He said Morgan’s blood was on my hands and he hoped I’d learned my lesson.

“I didn’t utter a word. I just took a car, went to the airport and bought a ticket back to California.  I wallowed in my misery for six months, drank, smoked pot, felt sorry for myself and cursed my father. Then I realized I was letting him win.  I joined a support group.  My first meeting I met a woman who did stunt work.  She was a good fifteen years older than me.  She took me under her wing.

“That’s how I got into stunt work.  I threw myself into it and refused to speak to my father or brother.  Three years passed.  My mom called late one evening. There was an accident on a drill site.  My brother Cooper was injured.  I had to go to him.  He pulled through and begged me to stay.  He said he needed me.

“He was the one who came up with the idea of me getting into racing and convinced our father to go along with it.  At least that’s what I thought.  Everything was okay.  I rarely saw my father.  Then this big deal came along and my father wanted to reel in John Henderson.  He’s a multi-billionaire who was born into wealth – pharmaceuticals mostly but also investment capital and hedge funds.”

Liz couldn’t face Kyle with the next part of her tale, so she looked down at the ground. 

“I’d met John at a couple of social functions I attended with Coop.  Even dated him a couple of times but he wasn’t my cup of tea.  At all.  He’s pretentious, arrogant and was completely scornful of the idea of me being in racing.  He even went so far as to say that no wife of his would ever be allowed to do such a thing.  She’d be the perfect arm decoration and behave accordingly.

“I said what the fuck ever.  Not only was I not interested in that, but I had no interest at all in his sexual proclivities. He liked to think he was fifty shades of something, but it sure wasn’t anything I wanted to be part of.  He wasn’t a dom, he was a sadist.

“So I wouldn’t date him, take his calls or attend any function he attended.  My father blew up and called me an ungrateful brat.  I called him an uncaring bastard who would sell his own child for money he didn’t need.

“My brother sided with him and told him that he could control me with Landing. Threaten to take Landing from me. That’s when he decided I couldn’t ride Landing and stole him from me.  Sold him to Wes.

“And that’s my sordid tale.”

There was utter silence when she finished, silence that stretched on so long she started to wonder if he’d left at some point in her recitation and she hadn’t noticed.  Then she felt his hand on her knee and she looked up.

“Did you love him?”

“What?”

“Your husband.”

“Yes.  I did.”

“Do you still?”

Liz slid off the tailgate to face him. “Yes. He was my first love.  I’ll always love him and what we had.  Is that wrong?”

“No, it’s right.  Very right.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You will.”  He took her hand.  “Come on let’s sit by the fire.  You’re shivering.”

The temperature had dropped and the warmth from the fire felt good as they sat down on the sleeping bag.  Kyle picked up a stick and poked at the fire. Liz wondered what he was thinking and what he’d meant.

“I was in love once.”  He said quietly.

She looked up at him but didn’t speak so he continued.  “I enlisted in the Army the day after I graduated.  Thought the military would make a man out of me – get rid of my lack of confidence and shyness.

“Somehow I ended up in Special Forces and the idea of spending a few years in the service turned into more.  I did multiple tours in the middle east.  On my last tour our mission was to root out a terrorist cell in this squalid little village.

“It was hard to believe there would be a cell operating out of such a place, but intel said it was true. I met someone there.  A woman. She was in her early twenties and had two small children, under the age of three.  Her husband had been killed.  It was an arranged marriage and she hadn’t loved him, but when he died she had no one but his family and they weren’t very kind.

“I started taking her food.  Her kids were hungry.  We grew close. I fell in love with her.  We were there for six months.  Six months in that place and we couldn’t find any terrorists. I didn’t care.  I was in love.  She got pregnant and I started trying to figure a way to get her out of the country and back here.  Her and her kids.

“Then it all went to shit.  Intel paid off.  There was a cell and smack in the middle of it was her husband’s family.”

Kyle turned his head to look at her.  She could see the tears in his eyes and it broke her heart.  She took his hands.  “Tell me.  Please.”

“It all went to shit.  The order was given.  We were to take them out and to hell with collateral damage.  I tried to get to her, but her husband’s family took her.  They tried to bargain for their freedom with her and those kids.

“The United States doesn’t negotiate with terrorists.”

He fell silent and the look on his face had tears springing from her eyes.  “Kyle…”

“I shot two of the family before the father-in-law slit her throat.  The kids died in the explosion from the bomb wired to his chest.”

“Oh my god.”

“I resigned after that and came home.  My folks decided they wanted to move to Oklahoma, to be close to my mom’s people.  They gave me the ranch.  I sat there for a year doing nothing.  I was mad and hurt and felt nothing would ever be right.

“Then JD Weathers brought a horse to the house, one that had been in a fire.  It was a mess.  He left the horse with me.  I helped the horse heal and he helped me.

“I’m not a player, Liz.  I just couldn’t let myself get emotionally involved.  I watched the mother of my unborn child die, along with her children.  I couldn’t save them.  A man who can’t protect the people he loves isn’t much of a man.”

“Kyle you can’t think that way.  War is— “

“I know. I get it.  Finally, I get it.”

“Get what?”

“That being afraid to love is letting those bastards win.  I’m never going to not love her, or ever forget her, but if I don’t let myself feel then they really did take everything from me.”

Liz smiled up at him, heedless of the tears that streamed down her face.  “I’m so glad.  You deserve to be happy Kyle.”

“So do you.  So do we.  Together.  So, you’re coming back with me.  You and Traveler.  We’ll face whatever your father throws at you, and god as my witness, if he comes he better come armed for fucking bear.”

That declaration was so staggering she could barely speak.  “I – I… god, I – I can’t let you do that, Kyle.  You don’t know him.  He’ll— “

“Cut your throat while I watch?”

Liz jumped at the rage that blazed from his eyes and the harshness of his voice.  “No, but— “

“Then he can’t hurt me. Come back with me Liz.  I know we’ve danced around this thing between us, hell I didn’t even want it to be there, but the truth is, there’s something there.  And I think we deserve to figure out what and how deep it is.  Don’t you?”

“Oh god, I want to.  I do.  But I don’t know if I can face losing— “

“I don’t go down easy, sugar. Trust me.  If he comes for me, he better bring an army.”

There were so many things she wanted to say, so many protests and so many words of thanks and gratitude, but she couldn’t say any of them.  She could only wrap her arms around him and hold him tight.

When his arms went around her, she felt it. Something that felt safe and right, something she hadn’t felt in a very long time. 

She pulled back to look up at him.  “I’ll go under one condition.”

“What?”

“If the police show up, I’m going to tell them you had no idea who I am.  You have to promise to go along with that.”

“Why?”

She gave him a smile.  “Because I’m going to need someone to rescue me and you can’t do that if you’re handcuffed in the back of a police car with me.”

“Oh so I’m going to rescue you?”

“Well, aren’t you?”

Kyle smiled at her.  “Any time, any day.  Just whistle, darlin’ and I’m there.”

Liz puckered up and whistled then smiled at the confused look on his face.  “Uh, it’s just you and me, Liz.  What do you need rescuing from?”

“My clothes.”

“Right here?”

“Unless you have a better idea.”

“No, actually that’s the best idea I’ve heard in a long time.”

“Then what are you waiting for, cowboy?”

The smile he gave her was so sexy she was ready to rip his clothes off right then.  “We’ve got all night, sugar.”

He ran his hands back through her hair, tilting her head back. His lips were soft and warm against her skin as he worked his way over her neck, pausing to nibble one ear lobe then move lower.  Liz reached for him, her fingers clutching at his shirt.

Kyle paused as he reached the neckline of her shirt and released her.  He unbuttoned the shirt and eased it down over her shoulders, his lips caressing the skin that was revealed.  When he dropped the shirt onto the sleeping bag beside them, he gathered her breasts in both hands, his thumbs tracking gently over her nipples.

Liz bit her lip against the groan of pleasure and tugged at his shirt, eager to feel his bare skin.  “Slow down, baby.”

“I want you.”

“Then let me love you, Liz.  Slowly and completely.  Give in and I promise I’ll take you there.”

“Take me where?”  His promise inspired desire of a kind she’d never felt. She’d always taken the lead.

“Wherever you want to go, sugar.”

What was it in his tone, in the look in his eyes that had her wanting to give in, to surrender to him?  She’d never felt this kind of allure and on some level she recognized it.  She’d always been the alpha in her relationships with men. She called the shots and set the pace.

Liz had never, not even in her marriage, fully surrendered to a man.  But this man made her want to.