Baby, It's You (21 page)

“What are you talking about?”

For some reason he didn’t understand, tears filled Nina’s eyes. What was going on
now
?

“You can’t just
leave
like this,” she said.

“Nina,” Marc said carefully. “We’ve talked about this. Everything is going to be fine. Daniel will be here.”

But he didn’t believe things were going to be fine. Not for one second. So why was he saying it?

Because he couldn’t leave unless it was true.

“I know he’ll be here, but—” Nina waved her hand, a single tear coursing down her cheek. “You won’t be.”

Marc couldn’t believe this. Nina was about as self-sufficient as any woman he’d ever known, and now she was falling apart on him, too?

“Nina,” he said. “It’s okay. It’s not as if I’ll be gone forever.”

“Is that really true? You’ve told me—told all of us—that there’s a chance you’ll decide not to come back to Rainbow Valley. What are we supposed to do then? Have you even stopped to think about what your leaving means to everyone else? Or are you just going to get onto that motorcycle and drive away as if you don’t give a damn about anybody?”

Marc drew back, anger surging through him. “Don’t give a damn about anybody? Are you
serious
? Almost everything I’ve done for the past eighteen years has been for somebody else. For once in my life, I’m doing something for
me
. And don’t you dare make me feel like shit for doing it!”

“I have to go,” Nina said.

She rose from the table, spun around, and left the room. The front door opened, then closed.

“Oh, boy,” Daniel said.

“Oh, boy is right,” Marc said. “I can’t believe she went off on me like that!”

“Well, there
is
kind of a reason why,” Daniel said.

“What reason?”

“I can’t say. She swore me to silence for today.”

“Hey! If there’s something that explains
that
, you’d better start talking!”

Daniel sighed. “Manfred died this morning.”

Silence fell over the table, and Marc felt as if somebody had punched him in the stomach. “My God. Why didn’t you
tell
me?”

“She didn’t want anybody to know.”

“Why not?”

“Luke and Shannon’s wedding. She wanted their day to be perfect, and if they knew, she thought they’d be all worried about her.”

Marc dropped his head to his hands. “
Shit.
” Then he jerked his head up. He took off toward the front door, trying to catch Nina, but she was already gone. He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed her number. She didn’t answer.

Kari came to the entryway.

“She should have said something,” Marc said. “She should have told me. Luke and Shannon didn’t have to know.”

“I know. But I think she knew how Shannon in particular would feel if she found out. Manfred came from the shelter. I guess she just didn’t want to chance it.”

“And what about Angela? If she drops out of college…” Marc exhaled. “God, Kari. Do you have any idea how smart she is?”

“I can only imagine.”

“Well, imagine times ten. That’s what she’s throwing away.”

“I know you think the worst thing in the world is for her not to go to college. It’s not. The worst thing in the world is for her to think you don’t approve of her.”

“Hey! I’ve never made her think that.
Never!
”

“You didn’t have to. Unless I miss my guess, she’s always done what you wanted her to. What was there for you to disapprove of?” Kari put her hand on his sleeve. “Have you thought about sending her to another school?”

“Yes. Of course I have. But she’d need to go to another state school, or I wouldn’t be able to afford it. The others might not be as big as the University of Texas, but they’re still big schools. I’m not sure that would solve the problem. If she sticks it out where she is, she could still adjust and everything will be fine.”

“She could. But if time passes and she’s still miserable—”

“I know,” Marc said, blowing out a breath. “I know.”

“Just talk to her. It’ll be okay.”

He turned and looked up the stairs. “I will. But Nina first. I have to fix this. I’m going to her house.”

He started out the door, only to realize he didn’t want to deal with this by himself. Maybe this time he didn’t have to. He looked back at Kari.

“Will you come with me?”

She nodded. “Let me get my purse.”

Marc hated this. He never said the right things at the right time, but he had to try to say something. At least with Kari along, there was a chance he wouldn’t make a monumental mistake. But when they drove to Nina’s house, she wasn’t there, and his frustration hit an all-time high.

“Where the hell could she have gone?” he said.

Kari looked as lost as he felt. Then all at once her face brightened. “I think I know where she is.”

A few minutes later, Marc and Kari stood on the edge of Rainbow Way near the path leading down to the Overlook. Through the trees, Kari could just make out Nina sitting on the bench, staring out into the valley.

“God, I hate this,” Marc said, putting his hand to his forehead. “She’s going to cry, and then I’m going to say the wrong stupid-ass thing and make everything worse.”

“No, you won’t.”

“Oh, believe me. I will. I know this is going to come as a shock to you, but I’m not the most sensitive guy in the world.”

“Why don’t I go down there and talk to her?” Kari said.

Marc exhaled. “No. It’s my responsibility. I need to—”

“You can in a minute. Let me talk to her first.”

Marc still looked unsure.

“I promise you it’ll be okay.”

Finally he nodded. Kari turned and walked down the brick path. She’d almost reached the park bench before Nina turned around. She had a tissue clutched in her hand. Her eyes were red, and her lashes were wet with tears. Kari sat down beside her.

“Daniel told us about Manfred. I’m so sorry.”

Nina wiped beneath her eyes with her fingertips. “I didn’t want to tell anyone. I was so afraid of ruining Shannon and Luke’s wedding. But Daniel caught me crying, so I had to tell him.” She let out a shaky sigh. “It wasn’t as if it was a shock. I knew it was coming. But still…”

Kari nodded. “How are you doing now?”

“Not great.” She caught a trickle of a tear with a tissue. “As long as I had Manfred, it was like Curtis was still here. But now that he’s gone, too…”

“Curtis is waiting for him, remember? That was what he promised you. That he’d wait for both of you.”

“But I have to wait so long,” Nina said, her voice a hushed whisper. “So
long
. And I miss Manfred so much. It’s only been a few hours, and already I don’t know what to do without him.”

Kari didn’t really know what to say to that, so she didn’t say anything.

“I’ll be fine,” Nina said finally. “Life goes on, you know? I just have to feel sorry for myself for a little while.”

Kari slipped her arm around Nina’s shoulders. Together they looked into the valley, watching as the sun slipped below the horizon. Then Nina’s voice broke the silence.

“Marc is crazy about you, you know.”

Hearing those words made Kari want to cry herself. She was desperate to say,
Do you really think so? Do you think there’s any way on this earth he’ll ever love me?
But she couldn’t. The more she wished for it, the more painful it was going to be when it never happened.

“We have a good time together,” she told Nina. “But that’s all.”

“I’ve been hoping you might be able to get him to stay.”

“Actually, he thinks I ought to go with him when he leaves.”

Nina blinked with surprise. “Are you going to?”

“I don’t want to leave Rainbow Valley. I really love it here. But…” Kari sighed, feeling that impossible push-pull all over again. “I’ll follow him anywhere, Nina. Anywhere he wants to go.”

“You’re in love with him.”

Kari closed her eyes. “Please don’t tell him that.”

“But it’s true?”

“He has Angela to think about, and she’s not happy about him seeing me. He says that doesn’t bother him, but I know it does. And I know he doesn’t want anything that even looks like commitment.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“He wants freedom.”

“I know,” Nina said. “But what we want and what we need—sometimes they’re not the same thing.”

But Kari knew how strong-minded Marc was. If he was convinced he was right about something, getting him to change his mind was damned near impossible.

“I’ll probably get another puppy soon,” Nina said.

“Yeah?” Kari said.

“I don’t feel like it now, but I know eventually I will. Shannon never has a shortage at the shelter. It’d be a shame not to adopt one.”

Kari nodded.

“But I’ll never get married again.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“I believe in soul mates. That there’s one man a woman is destined to be with. For me, Curtis was that man. I already gave my heart away to him, and I don’t ever want it back. So how could I give it away to another man?”

Kari couldn’t imagine what it would be like to love a man with all her heart and soul the way Nina loved Curtis. And all at once an image popped into Kari’s mind of her own heart slowly slipping away from her, but when she turned around, Marc was holding it in the palm of his hand.

If only that could happen someday. She and Marc. Together. If only…

Stop wishing for what you can’t have!

Nina looked past Kari to the head of the path, where Marc sat on a bench looking uncomfortable. “Poor Marc. He has no idea what to say, does he?”

“Not a clue,” Kari said. “But I don’t have to tell you how much he cares about you.”

“I know he does. And I’m sorry I went off on him like that, because he has a right to leave, you know? I just don’t know what we’re all going to do without him.”

“Would you like us to walk with you back to your car?” Kari asked.

Nina nodded. She rose and walked with Kari back up the path. Marc stood up when he saw them coming. Kari could tell he still didn’t know what to say. But when Nina drew closer, he simply stepped forward, pulled her into his arms, and gave her a heartfelt hug.

“I’m sorry for what I said,” Nina told him.

“Forget it,” Marc said.

Nina began to cry again. Tears streamed down her face and soaked into Marc’s shirt, but he just kept holding her like that, rubbing his hand up and down her back. Marc might not always say the right thing, but he always
did
the right thing.

By the time they got back to the vineyard, Angela had returned to college. Daniel’s car was gone, which meant he’d left the house. If history was any indication, he’d probably spend the night in some woman’s bed and wouldn’t be back until morning. They went to Marc’s bedroom, and by the time Kari came out of the bathroom, he was in bed, the light switched off, his arm resting across his forehead as he stared at the ceiling. She crawled in beside him, pulling her pillow over to lie on her side next to him.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Well, let’s see. Nina is lost without Curtis and hates the thought of me leaving. Angela doesn’t like college, so she’s probably going to drop out. And Daniel wants to wait a week to harvest. I think that’s too late, but we’re stuck with that decision now, because he went behind my back and rescheduled the crew. This is harvest season in the Hill Country, and now I can’t get one out here sooner. This whole vintage could go to hell.” He exhaled. “And it’s all because I’m leaving.”

Kari could feel the tension radiating from Marc, the frustration, the sense that things were going wrong and he just didn’t know how to make them right.

“I have a right to go,” Marc said.

“I know you do,” Kari said.

“Do you have any idea how hard it was to raise a baby with everything else I had to do?”

She couldn’t even imagine.

“I used to take Angela into the vineyard with me in a carry cradle and hope she didn’t cry because I was too damned dirty to pick her up. And then I’d go to the house at night and collapse, praying she would sleep through the night because I was so bone tired I could barely get out of bed. But the next morning I shook it off and got up again, and somehow I made it through another day. I loved her, Kari. I always have, more than anything in my life. But when Nicole left, I couldn’t help feeling as if I’d gotten the short end of the stick. Sometimes I just wanted to scream,
But what about
me
?
I know. That sounds so selfish.”

“No! No, it doesn’t sound selfish. You’re not selfish. God, Marc, you’re the least selfish person I know.”

“My father would have told me just to knock off the whining, gut it up, and do it. So that was what I did.”

“So he was pretty tough?”

“He was a hard man. Blunt. Demanding. But he had a work ethic second to no one, and when he gave his word, it was law. Not everybody liked my father, but there wasn’t anybody anywhere who didn’t respect him.”

In the near darkness of the bedroom, Kari saw Marc’s throat convulse in a heavy swallow.

“I’ll never forget the night I told him Nicole was pregnant. He got really quiet. Really still. His eyes went cold as ice. And then he said,
I counted on you to be smarter than that
.”

Marc’s eyes drifted closed at the memory. Kari couldn’t have imagined a man like Marc not meeting
any
parent’s expectations, but she could tell by the look on his face that even if he lived to be a thousand, that feeling of inadequacy would always be there.

“A month before Angela was born,” Marc said, “he dropped dead right out there among the vines. A heart attack. He was here one second, gone the next. That fast. Gone before I could show him that even though I’d made a mistake, he could still believe in me.”

And Marc had been trying to live up to his father’s expectations ever since. Keeping this place running. Holding his family together no matter what. Raising his daughter. Being everything to everyone because there was nobody else to do it.

“I was scared to death,” Marc said. “I was just a kid, trying to make everything work. Sometimes I wanted to hide my head and pretend none of it was happening. I wanted to go off to college the way Angela did. Maybe that’s why it makes me so crazy that she’s not even sure she likes it there. She has the opportunity I never had, and she doesn’t even realize how special it is.”