Baby Love (15 page)

It was an insane idea. Maggie could scarcely believe she was actually considering it. Who in her right mind would agree to such a thing? On the other hand, given her situation, who in her right mind would pass on the

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offer? Fifty million? With that much money, he could hire a legion of clever lawyers. Lonnie wouldn't stand a chance. And it wasn't as if Rafe would be getting nothing out of the deal. He'd be getting a son—

someone to make him feel needed and necessary again.

There was just one hitch: by accepting such an offer, she'd be selling herself, body and soul. Unless Rafe cooperated, there might be no way to call this off later. No walking out. She'd be his wife. Even worse, he would have the ultimate leverage over her, joint custody of her son. She also had Heidi to think about.

Where, exactly, did she fit into this puzzle?

"I can't, " Maggie said, her voice so faint it seemed to come from a great distance. "It's a wonderful offer, and it would solve most of my problems. But it wouldn't solve all of them, and I just can't. "

"Name me one reason, " Rafe argued. "You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. "

"I told you, I have to go get my sister. " The room seemed to spin. Maggie grasped the open locker door to stay on her feet. Her words seemed to echo inside her head. "Please, go get my son so I can finish getting dressed and leave. "

"How will you get to Prior?" he asked.

"I'll hitchhike. "

"And if you can't catch a ride right away? You're too sick to stand along the highway, especially with a baby to hold. You might pass out. What will happen to Jaimie then?"

Her legs felt like overcooked spaghetti. She was afraid they might buckle. Oh, God, he was right. She was too sick. If she left the hospital, she might never make it to Prior, and where would that leave Heidi?

"I have to go get her, " she cried. "I can't leave her there. "

"I have no intention of leaving her there. " His voice seemed to surround her, deep and warm—and so wonderfully strong. "We'll get custody of her and bring her
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to live with us, Maggie. You've got my word on it. We'll make that part of our bargain. And meanwhile, I swear to you on everything that's holy, Boyle won't hurt her. I'll make damned sure that she's safe. "

"How? You don't know Lonnie. He's a snake. You can't trust anything he says. "

As if he sensed she was about to fall, Rafe gently encircled her waist and drew her against his chest. For the second time since meeting him, Maggie leaned into him, too weak to stand alone. "Honey, trust me just a little. I swear to you that Heidi will be safe. Just say yes. You'll have no more worries. "

No more worries. That sounded so wonderful, so absolutely wonderful. She was so awfully, horribly tired, and he was offering her a solution to all of her troubles. All she wanted was to close her eyes and let him take care of everything.

"But at what cost?" she murmured aloud.

"What do you mean?"

"I'll be so indebted to you, how will I ever pay you back?"

"You don't have to. I'll never miss the money, "

"Yes, " she insisted. "No free rides. I pay my own way. I've told you that. "

Oh, God. What was she doing? Was she actually about to accept this offer?
Yes, God help her, yes.
Heidi would be safe. She and Jaimie would be safe. It wasn't as if she had a host of choices. This was it.

"If I do this, I have to know you'll keep track of every penny you spend. " Trying frantically to clear her head, she said, "And I want you to agree to it in writing. "

"You want a prenup agreement?"

"Is that what it's called?"

'Yes. "

"Then that's what I want, a prenup agreement, stating that if this doesn't work out, we can go our separate ways, with the understanding that I'll reimburse you for
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all you've spent and that you won't make things difficult for me about leaving. " She managed to lift her head and look up at him. "That's the only way I'll agree to such a thing—if I know I'm going to be paying my own way. "

"Done. "

Maggie hadn't expected him to agree so easily. "You're sure?"

"It's fine by me. "

She had a bad feeling he was only saying that so she would say yes, that he had no intention of letting her work to pay her own expenses. "I'm dead serious about this. Until I'm able to wait tables again, is there anything at your ranch that I can do to earn a wage?"

He muttered something under his breath and then shrugged. "You said you're good at bookkeeping. I hate paperwork. You can be my in-house accountant. "

It sounded like a job he had dreamed up just to keep her happy. "Someone else has been keeping your books, obviously. It has to be something extra that I can do— something that's a real contribution, not just a pat on my head to make me feel useful. " Dizzily, she tried to think of an alternative. "I'm a good housekeeper. "

"That position's filled. " He searched her gaze, his eyes delving deeply. "It's true that Ryan and I have always kept the books, but neither of us are fond of the job or very good at it. It'd be great to have someone really keep on top of it for us, especially if you can learn the cattle business and chart information so we can see how we're doing at a glance. I always just dumped the receipts in a drawer and tried to make sense of them later. Ryan didn't bother to do that half the time, so our records were never very accurate. "

"And if I do a good job, you'll pay me the going rate? All on paper, of course, to apply it against my debt.

You'll call around to see what a good accountant usually gets and be agreeable about paying that?"

"Jesus Christ. Are we going to negotiate wages right

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now?" He stared down at her. "All right. Sure. The going rate. "

"I can learn the cattle business, " she assured him. "I'm quick to pick up on things. "

"Then pick up on this, " he said, lowering his voice for her ears alone. "I get a wife and child in this bargain. And if you think I won't do everything in my power to make sure you want to remain my wife, think again. I don't make a commitment like this lightly, Maggie. "

She could tell by his expression that he meant it. "No, of course not. Neither do I. But I'm not willing to make a lifelong commitment until I'm certain we can make it work, either. We barely know each other. In the event that we separate, I need to know I've brought as much into this as you did, and that you won't be blowing a bunch of money, with nothing to show for it in the end. "

"I'll be giving Jaimie my name, " he reminded her. "The moment I do that, he'll be my son in every way that matters, and prenuptial agreement or no, he'll always be my son, even if you decide to leave me. In my estimation, a child is a bona fide contribution, and I'll be more than adequately reimbursed for my expenditures. There's also the possibility we'll have a baby of our own. How can you worry that you're not bringing anything worthwhile into the relationship?"

Until that moment, Maggie had been thinking that this would be a platonic arrangement. "You mean you want this to be—a
real
marriage?"

Rafe glanced at the doctor. "Can you step outside for just a moment? When I get her back into bed, I'll holler for you. " He watched until the doctor had exited and closed the door. His steely blue eyes gleamed with determination when he looked back down at Maggie. "Yes, a real marriage. I don't do things halfway, especially not something like this, and I'll explain why. It may take months for all the legalities to be finalized. In that time, Jaimie and I will start to bond. Even little guys can form strong attachments. I don't think it's fair to let

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him be around me and start to love me unless we're both going to put a hundred percent of our efforts into making this work.

"If it doesn't, " he went on, "then, sure, we'll have no choice but to call it quits, and I'll have to settle for visitation privileges. But we owe it to him and ourselves not to go into this with the thought that it's a stopgap measure. Don't you agree?"

Maggie did agree. She was just so swimmy-headed that she hadn't thought about how all of this might affect Jaimie emotionally. "I, um... I'm just not real comfortable with—well, you know. "

"Sex, you mean?" He smoothed his hand over her hair. "Honey, if you do this, you'll be trusting me with so much. Don't you think you can trust me about that as well?"

He was right; she'd be trusting him with everything. Held so gently against him, she was beginning to feel like a pat of butter melting over a flapjack. She didn't know how much longer she'd be able to stand. Her body felt disconnected from her brain, and she was afraid she might pass out. Before that happened, she had far greater concerns than her own well-being to consider.

"Promise me again that you'll get Heidi out of there as fast as you possibly can, " she whispered. "Promise me, or there's no deal. "

"I promise. Hell, I'd go get her now if I could, but snatching a child and transporting her over the state line is a serious offense. "

"I have to know she'll be safe. She's only ten years old, and she never asked for any of this. "

"She'll be safe. That I can guarantee. And before you know it, she'll be with us, Maggie. Consider it done.

"

Maggie could only pray it would prove to be that simple, but a part of her feared that Lonnie couldn't be so easily handled.

"How do you plan to do it?"

He swept her into his arms. Maggie gasped and clung

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weakly to his shoulders. As he carried her toward the bed, he said, "I'm just going to jump in with both feet and follow my instincts. I've been out of circulation for a while, but I'm an effective negotiator. I can handle Boyle. You concentrate on getting well. I'll take care of everything else. "

As he carefully deposited her on the mattress, Maggie searched his dark face, a part of her fearing that she'd just struck a bargain with a madman. What other explanation was there? She'd known him only two days, and he wanted to marry her? Oh, God. What had she done?

"I'm not Susan, " she whispered, fighting to keep her eyes open so she could hold his gaze. 'Take a long hard look at me and know what you're doing, Mr. Kendrick. Susan's dead, and so are your children. Jaimie and I will never be able to replace them, and it isn't fair to ask that we try. "

Using the bed rail, he braced his weight with one arm to cup her chin in his hand. His hard, leathery fingers felt featherlight and cool on her skin, yet vibrant with latent strength. "I know exactly what I'm doing, Maggie, and I don't for a moment have you confused with Susan. "

Maggie wished she felt as certain of that as he seemed to be. "I can't pretend to be someone else. That's all. I want to be sure you understand that. I'm me, and I'll never be able to fill her shoes. "

"I don't expect you to try, " he assured her. "You're sweet and beautiful, Maggie. No man in his right mind would want you to be anyone but exactly who you are, and I'm definitely not out of my mind. "

Nightmares plagued Maggie as she drifted in a sedative-induced sleep. In each dream, her mother, Heidi, or Jaimie was in terrible peril, and Lonnie played the villain with Rafe Kendrick as his sidekick. Frantically Maggie tried to protect the people she loved, but at every turn she met with insurmountable opposition.

In the last nightmare, she was lost in a graveyard after dark, and she knew Lonnie was lurking in the blackness with a huge knife, intent on killing Jaimie. She could hear her baby crying, only no matter where she looked, she couldn't find him. Instead she continually ran into a tall, steel fence with spikes at the top. Rafe was always standing just outside the enclosure, grinning at her in that lazy way of his.

"Marry me, Maggie. No more worries. I'll take care of everything
. "

She awoke confused and drenched in sweat to find herself back in her hospital room with a nurse at her bedside. When Maggie saw the face hovering over hers, she cried out and tried to jerk away.

"Now, now. It's all right, " the nurse said in a soothing voice. "I didn't mean to startle you, but it's time to wake up now. "

Maggie blinked. Her heart felt as if it were leaping from her chest. The nurse held up a strange-looking plastic contraption.

"Why do I have a feeling that's for me?"

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The nurse nodded. "You guessed it. You can't nurse your baby until your infection is gone and you're off the strong medication. "

With the nurse's help, Maggie managed to sit up. The woman unfastened the back of her gown. "I'll shut the door and put up the 'Do Not Disturb' sign. When you're finished, buzz for help, and one of us will come in to refasten this. "

After the nurse left, Maggie applied herself to the task at hand. The clock on the wall said it was nearly eight o'clock by the time she finished and another nurse looked in on her. Exhausted, she lay against the pillows, her gaze fixed on the Venetian blind over the window. Between the slats, she could see the darkness of night beyond the glass, which told her she'd been asleep for hours.

I'll take care of everything,
Rafe had promised her. Now that her head was a bit clearer, Maggie thought of all the things that could have gone wrong, and her heart squeezed with fear. Lonnie was so unpredictable.

Stop it, Maggie. Rafe said he would take care of it, you agreed to let him, and now, all you can do is pray
he does. It's not as if you have another option.

He had probably looked in on her while she was sleeping and decided not to disturb her. Yes, that was it.

He had come to give her an update on the situation, but she'd been resting, so he'd left, planning to come back later.

So... it was later. Where was he?

Trying to shove all negative thoughts aside, she focused on the positive. Everything had gone fine, and Rafe had probably taken Jaimie back to the motel. A hospital lobby wasn't exactly the best place in the world to care for an infant.

Picturing Jaimie, Maggie's arms ached to hold him. To feel his warm little body pressed against her. To breathe in that sweet baby smell. To touch his downy little head.
Jaimie.
She loved him so very much. No
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matter what price she had to pay to keep him safe, he was her consolation. Her only consolation.

"Hi there, angel face. They said you were finally awake. "

Maggie turned to see Rafe crossing the room, the door swinging closed behind him. His stride was loose and slow. With each shift of his body, his hair caught the light, glistening like polished onyx. He had his coat draped over one shoulder, the tails concealing his right arm. His gaze swept the length of her, making her feel exposed even with the sheet and blanket over her. She tugged at the neck of her gown to be sure it was up.

"Where's Jaimie? You didn't let Lonnie take him?"

"Of course not. That's all taken care of. No more worries, just as I promised. " As he reached the bed, he leaned down to flash her a conspiratorial grin. "I've got a stowaway. " Brushing his coat aside, he revealed her sleeping son nestled in his arm. "He's not supposed to be in here. But I thought maybe a cuddle session with your favorite fella might be good medicine for what ails you. "

Tears sprang to Maggie's eyes. Battling the IV, she eagerly took Jaimie into her arms. "Oh, Rafe, thank you. I've been missing him so much!"

"Now how did I know that?" he said with a silky chuckle. "If ever I've seen a good mama, you qualify. "

"Not nearly good enough. " Maggie's throat ached as she forced out the words. "My life is in such a mess.

""Not anymore, " he assured her, a note of smugness lacing his tone. "Mr, Boyle won't cause any more problems, at least not for a while, I guarantee it. "

Not for a while? Yes, Maggie thought, that just about summed it up. Lonnie Boyle was like radioactive waste buried deep in the ground; as long as he was on the same planet, there would always be a chance of contamination.

Maggie was about to insist that Rafe fill her in on all the details when an even more pressing concern occurred

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to her. "Jaimie won't get sick from being in here, will he? Maybe that's why babies aren't allowed. "

Tossing his coat on the visitor's chair, Rafe sat on the edge of her bed and rested an arm on his bent knee.

"I asked Dr. Hammish if it was safe. She's my partner in crime. She says there's no danger in a private room like this. "

"Will we get in trouble?" Maggie whispered.

"Nah. Most of the nurses know he's here. They've just been pretending not to see him. I only covered him with my coat to surprise you. "

"A nice surprise. " She cupped a hand over her baby's head. "He's cool. "

"You've still got a fever, honey. " He touched her forehead. "You're like a little heater, turned up on high.

How are you feeling?"

"Better now that Jaimie's here. This is even worse than when I left him with Mama while I worked. I was always a little afraid she'd forget she had him. "

"You've been working since you gave birth? How soon did you go back to your job after having him?"

"I stayed in the hospital one day, then I took off three more. "

"You've worked for years, haven't you? Ever since your dad died. "

"I was afraid we'd go through his life insurance money if I didn't. "

"And you were back on the job right after childbirth. " He shook his head. "Never again. "

She drew back the receiving blanket to admire the new blue sleeper. "I didn't have much choice. Having a baby is expensive. "

"Yeah, I understand that, " he said dryly. "So is postnatal care. You must have felt pretty awful when that kidney infection started. "

Maggie shook her head. "My back ached a lot. But nothing so bad I thought it was a kidney infection and
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rushed to see a doctor. I have no health insurance, and it's thirty-eight dollars a visit. "

She heard him sigh. When she glanced up, he was fiddling with things on her bedside table. His hand grew still when he spied the apparatus resting there. Maggie's cheeks grew hot.

"Christ. It must feel like you're being attacked by a toilet plunger. "

Maggie gave a startled giggle. He chuckled, too. The tender warmth in his gaze made her uncomfortable.

Uncertain what to say, she bent her head and toyed with Jaimie's blanket again.

"How long will they let you be in here?" she finally asked.

"We were here while you slept. So far, they haven't hassled me. I'll call a cab soon and take Jaimie back to the motel. He seems to sleep all right with me holding him. But it has to be more restful being in his own bed. "

As much as Maggie hated the thought of parting with her son, she had to agree. "Thank you for taking such good care of him. "

"I hope to make it a lifelong commitment, " he said softly.

Maggie glanced up and then found she couldn't look away.

"I took care of Lonnie. You don't have to worry about Heidi. He'll leave her alone for the time being, and in the interim, we'll pull strings to get her out of there as fast as we can. I'll get my lawyer on it as soon as we get home. "

She'd never known anyone who had a lawyer on retainer all the time. "How can you be sure Lonnie won't do anything? What did you do, murder him?"

He smiled. "I was tempted, believe me. But we all have our price. I simply made him an offer he couldn't refuse. "

Maggie gnawed her lip, thinking of all the times her stepfather had threatened Heidi's safety to keep her in
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line. "Lonnie will promise one thing and do another. You can't trust him to keep his word."

"I thought of that. When we get to Oregon, I'll call frequently to check on Heidi. And in the morning, I'll place some phone calls and hire a private investigator to keep her under surveillance until I can get her out of there. Lonnie understands if I get a bad report, his ass is gonna be grass and I'll be a lawnmower.

He also understands that if anything bad happens, even if it appears to be an accident, that his life won't be worth a sugar lump in a rainstorm." He winked at her. "I told him I'd find him, no matter where he went, and that when I did, I'd kill him."

"And he believed you?"

"Hell, I was so convincing, I damned near believed it myself." He shrugged. "I'm not so sure I don't mean it, actually. But fortunately, it isn't a worry. He jumped at the offer I made him."

Though she dreaded knowing the answer, morbid curiosity prompted Maggie to ask, "You bribed him, didn't you? How much did you offer to pay him?"

"I'm entering it in my little black book. You can worry about the exact amount later. Lonnie went for the bait. That's all that counts. And, typical of most bullies, he's too big a coward to cross me. Men like that don't take on anyone their own size or bigger. They prey on those who are weaker. They're bullies, Maggie. Fear is the turn-on. Having absolute power is their ultimate high. They pick on people who can't or won't stand up to them."

She fell into one of those categories—those who were weaker. She imagined her life, stretching endlessly before her, each day centered around the whims of her keeper. She should be glad Rafe had elected to fill that role. He didn't seem to be cruel like Lonnie, at least. But then, she couldn't be sure of that. Until you got backed into a corner, a man seldom showed his true colors.

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Oh, God, what if she married him, and he started venting his temper on Jaimie? Jaimie wasn't his child. A lot of men resented their stepchildren.

Maggie cut the thought short. It wasn't as if she had a choice here. After all, there was no guarantee that the man who wanted to adopt Jaimie would be a good father, either. At least if she married Rafe, she'd be around to intervene for Jaimie if it was necessary, and she'd soon have Heidi with her as well.

"Having second thoughts?" he asked softly.

"I don't have that luxury. How about you?"

"I never second-guess myself, and even if I did, I'd circle back to where I am right now." He smoothed a palm over the fitted sheet. Then he glanced up and flashed a crooked grin. "I'm more into second chances, and that's what you and Jaimie are for me, a second chance. I've come to care about you, Maggie. I'm hoping that feeling will eventually be reciprocated. But even if it isn't, I'm still sure I'm doing the right thing."

"No matter how we circle it, this is an impulsive move."

"True. But sometimes if you stand around, thinking things to death for too long, by the time you reach a decision, it's too late." He searched her gaze. "Are you a religious person?"

"I believe there's a God, yes."

He winked at her. "You see? Already we have common ground. I'm a believer as well. But even if I weren't, I think I'd still believe in something. For some people, it's the universe. For others, it's a higher power. Regardless, I'm convinced there's something—call it fate or God or a guardian or the pull of the moon-that's at work in all our lives. Things happen for a reason."

"Your point?"

His vivid steel-blue gaze held hers. "That there were probably a number of empty boxcars in the train yard
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that night, " he said softly. "There usually are. What led you to the one I was in?"

"Poor judgment?"

He barked with laughter. When his mirth subsided, he shook his head. "That, too, I guess. But I like to think it was also fate—or maybe your guardian angel. I was minding my own business, happy as a clam with my whiskey for company, and the next thing I knew, I was looking into a pair of big brown eyes I couldn't resist. "

Maggie had never seen him laugh like that, and for a moment, she felt she was glimpsing the man he'd once been. It gave her a good feeling to think that in some way, maybe she and Jaimie were responsible for the transformation.

"I think God looked down and decided I had better things to do than pickle my brain with whiskey. " His smile faded, and the expression in his eyes grew solemn. "I couldn't help Susan and my kids, Maggie. For whatever reason, it was time for them to go, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I've lived with the memories, feeling angry and helpless and worthless—and wondering at least a thousand times why in the hell I didn't die, too. Now, I think I know. I can make a difference for you and Jaimie and Heidi, a little girl I've never even met. That's a very good feeling, and even if this marriage turns out badly, nothing can take that away from me. "

Tears filled Maggie's eyes. Embarrassed, she looked away.

"Jesus. Don't cry. It's nothing to feel sad about. "

"I'm not sad. " She swiped at her cheeks. "I'm just— well, if you want the truth, I'm praying you're really as nice as you seem to be. "

His mouth tipped into another of those lazy grins. "Stick around and find out. "

"As I see it, I don't have much choice. No offense, but I can only hope I'm not making a terrible mistake, "