Baby Love (18 page)

"Quite a change without the hair and whiskers, " He glanced toward the display window. "I never expected you back. "

"As I understood it, you weren't supposed to sell the ring for thirty days. You're a little ahead of yourself, putting it in the window already. "

The man rubbed his hands on the front of his green shirt. "Yes, well. " He laughed nervously. "Like I said, I really didn't think you'd be back. "

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Rafe stabbed him with a hard look. "Surprise, surprise. "

The owner scurried over to the window display to collect the ring. "This is a fine piece of jewelry. " He held the diamonds up to the sunlight coming through the glass. "I'm sorry to see it redeemed. It's not often I get something this nice. "

Rafe pulled out the wad of money Ryan had given him. "Twenty percent on top. " He peeled off seven one-hundred dollar bills, then a like number of twenties, laying them to one side. "Good doing business with you. "

With reluctance, the shopkeeper set the ring on the counter. Rafe picked it up reverently. He nearly slipped it onto the ring finger of his left hand, but at the last second, he clasped it in his fist instead.

Tossing the crumpled pink receipt on the counter, he turned and left the shop without saying another word.

Once outside in the crisp morning air, Rafe stood on the sidewalk, absorbing the clean brightness of the sunlight. Its golden color reminded him of Susan's hair. Such sweet, precious memories. A wealth of them were buried in the dark folds of his mind. But they were only memories, a part of his past.

Rafe opened his clenched fist to stare at the ring that lay on his palm.
Susan.
He smiled again, for only in leaving him had she ever brought him sadness. What a beautiful, rare individual she had been. But God had called her home, and the time to turn loose and let her go was long since past.

Rafe stepped to the curb. Glancing up and down the gutter, he spied a grate. He moved toward it, feeling curiously free for the first time in over two years. When he stood over the hole, he took one last look at the ring that had been his only remaining link with her for so long.
Promise me, Rafe. Promise me you'll
find someone else to love.

Tears gathered in his eyes as he extended his hand

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over the grate and opened his palm. "I think I've found her, Susan, ' he whispered softly. "I guess you
probably know that. You'd approve of her. It makes me glad to
know
that. "

With a flick of his wrist, Rafe dropped the wedding band, It hit the metal grate with a musical tinkling sound, and for a fanciful moment, he could almost believe it was the light, lilting sound of Susan's laughter. As the wedding ring tumbled between the grimy slats of the grate, the diamonds winked up at him, as if in final goodbye. And then the brightness was gone.

Rafe stood there for a long moment, gazing down into that endless darkness. He'd been trapped in it for so long. It was time to put it forever behind him. "Wish me luck, sweetheart, " he whispered. "I'm going to need it. "

When Rafe climbed back into the car, Ryan gave him a long, searching look. "Was that what I think it was?"

The tightness left Rafe's throat and he smiled.
"From the river to the sea"
he said softly. "She used to throw flower petals into a stream and say that. It seemed like a nice way to say goodbye. "

For a long moment, Ryan stared intently out the windshield. When he glanced at Rafe again, there was a new-understanding in his eyes. "Last night you apologized for hurting me. Now it's my turn. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you the way I should have been. " He took off his hat, lay it on the console, and rubbed a hand over his hair. "You said something else last night. It's been eating at me ever since. That I've never lost anyone I love. You're dead wrong about that. I have lost someone, and now I know how you felt. "

Rafe's heart caught, his first thought being that one of his parents had died and Ryan had waited until now to tell him. "Dear God, who?"

"My brother. "

Seeing the look in Ryan's eyes, Rafe finally under-

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stood just how much pain he had inflicted on his family. "Ryan, I'm—"

"Don't say it. You've apologized enough. I'm just glad to have you back. " He carefully shifted Jaimie in his
arms and handed the baby to his brother. Then he retrieved his hat and settled it on his head. "The extra
baggage you're bringing along is kind of nice, too. "

He started the car and pulled back out onto the street. At the stoplight, he glanced over. "Where to now?

Anyplace special?"

Rafe released a cleansing sigh. "Yeah, as a matter of fact. How long's it been since you did something totally
crazy?"

Waiting for the traffic light to change, Ryan kept his gaze fixed straight ahead. "I don't know. A while, I
guess. Why?"

"I need you to help me do something. "

"My calendar's clear. What is it?"

Rafe swallowed. "Something illegal. If anything goes wrong, we could both go to prison. "

Ryan winced and jerked his gaze to Rafe's face. "Oh, Jesus. You're going to kill Boyle, aren't you?" He shook
his head. "No way. I'll help you beat the hell out of him, but murder isn't my bag. "

"I'm not going to murder anyone. Get real. "

"What, then?"

"I want to snatch Maggie's sister. "

A horn honked behind them. Ryan swore, stepping on the gas as he let out the clutch. The car leapfrogged
through the intersection. "Have you lost your mind? That's kidnapping. It's a felony. If we get caught, we'll
both be gray and impotent by the time we get out of the joint. "

"Yeah, I know. " Rafe passed a hand over his face. "But the way I plan to do it, it's really not that chancy. I
called Mark yesterday to discuss the legalities of it. He—"

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"Oh, God. You're actually serious. You've been on the phone with a lawyer?"

"Of course I'm serious. If I cover all the bases, Mark thinks I can do it without getting my tit in a wringer. It won't be precisely legal, but—"

"Which means it's technically kidnapping?"

"Technically, yes. But I've got to do it, Rye. I'm on pretty solid ground with the adoption thing if Boyle keeps his word and reimburses the adoptive parents. And I'm ninety-five percent sure Heidi will be fine for a while, left where she is. If I get a team of lawyers to work on it right away, chances are, she'll be out of the situation before Boyle does anything. But what if things go sour? I've got this bad feeling about that bastard. There's this look in his eyes. You know?

Heidi's only ten years old. Just a baby. How can I take the chance that something might happen to her?"

"Easy, You pray for the wisdom to accept what you can't change. "

"I gave Maggie my word I'd keep her safe, and by God, I will. "

Ryan shoved the brim of his hat back. "Holy hell and high water! You can't do this. The kid'll be okay until you can get her out of there legally. "

"This will be legal—sort of. " Rafe turned in the seat to look at his brother. "Maggie's mom isn't real bright, and—"

"Wonderful. Now you're telling me you're about to dilute our gene pool? Not that you're displaying a genius I. Q. yourself at the moment. "

"Would you shut up and listen? Her mom's braindamaged from a heart attack. She wasn't born that way. Maggie says she's childlike, but as far as Mark could find out, she hasn't been claimed legally incompetent. Mark drew me up a paper and faxed it to the hospital. It basically says Maggie's mom is authorizing me to transport the kid over the state line. If I can get Boyle out of the house long enough to pay her a visit, I think

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I can con her into signing it before a notary public. " Rafe shrugged. "Afterward, I take the mother home, snatch the kid when she comes in from school, and we're out of there. " Rafe waited a beat. "Well, what do you think?"

"I think you're out of your frigging mind. What reason will you give the mother for taking her kid out of the state?"

Rafe smiled. "Disneyland. "

"What?"

"I'll say Maggie and I are going to Disneyland for our honeymoon, and that we want to take her sister. Brilliant, right? That way, Helen won't be upset about her kid disappearing, and it's technically legal for me to take her out of Idaho. It's also something a not-very-bright lady will go for. Disneyland, Mickey Mouse, and all that? She'll be tickled for her kid to get a chance to go. "

"Rafe, this is nuts. There are too many variables. Boyle's no idiot. He'll come home, find out what you've done, and go bananas. He'll call the cops. "

"Yeah, maybe. But possession is nine-tenths of the law. We'll have the kid, and the paper signed by her mother. Mark says Heidi is probably old enough to speak for herself in front of a judge. Dr. Hammish is willing to testify that Maggie's been savagely beaten. Mark thinks we can plead a strong enough case to cast suspicion on the home environment and get temporary custody. "

"And if you can't?"

Rafe puffed air into his cheeks. "Well, in that case, we could both go to jail. I'd testify that you just flew the plane, though, and didn't know what I was doing. "

"Ignorance of the law is a lousy defense, " Ryan pointed out,

"Maggie can't leave the hospital for two more days, " Rafe retorted. "We'll just be twiddling our thumbs. Why not put the time to better use? Come on, Ryan. "Where's
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your sense of adventure? We've always made a good team. Remember all the shenanigans we used to pull? How often did we get caught?"

"Jesus Christ. " Ryan pulled the car over to the curb, shoved the shift into neutral, and fixed Rafe with an incredulous look. "This isn't exactly on a par with stealing a road sign. We're not kids anymore. Do you realize what you're asking?"

"Yeah. I'm asking you to put your neck on the chopping block. I think we can pull it off, Ryan. It'll be risky, but I think we can do it. My pilot's license is expired. I need you to fly the Cessna and watch Jaimie while I do the dirty work. Once we get Heidi, you can drop me off here, then fly her to the ranch. Becca's great with kids. She can watch Heidi while you fly back here to pick me and Maggie up. What do you say?"

"You're discussing kidnapping, and in the same breath, you're worried about flying without your license?"

Ryan stared out the windshield, his jaw muscle ticking as he thought it over. Then he released a weary sigh and met his brother's gaze. "Some things never change. Every time I'm around you, I wind up doing something nuts. "

By the time Ryan Kendrick landed the Cessna 340 on the Rocking K airstrip two days later, Maggie was feeling like a pampered poodle with an overanxious owner. Since her release from the hospital that morning, Rafe had allowed her to do nothing for herself, not even walk. Dr. Hammish had said that for the next week, Maggie was not to be on her feet except to go to the bathroom. Determined to follow those orders, Rafe had carried her from the wheelchair to the car, and then from the car to the airplane, where he had deposited her on the rear passenger seats, which he'd already folded down to make a bed. Her first time to fly, and what did she see? The cabin ceiling.

Over the course of the three-hour flight, he'd drawn the doctor's instructions from his pocket several times. Time for fluid intake? He'd tapped an insulated water jug and filled a plastic sixteen-ounce glass to the brim, insisting she drink it. He'd even held the glass, as if she were incapable. Time for medication?

Pills were shoved under her nose and she was made to drink more water. Only a few minutes later, it had been time for her to have fluid again. Maggie had had the feeling he might pinch her nose if she refused to swallow.

The Cessna had no toilet.

By the time the plane's wheels went
sprrt-sprrt
on the tarmac in Oregon, every jolt of the small craft was an

175

176 CATHERINE ANDERSON

agony for her. After Ryan exited the plane by the side door, she pushed up on her elbow to gaze out the oval passenger window near her head, hoping to see a house. Instead, the bright afternoon sunlight glanced off snow-swept fields and mountains for as far as she could see.

She pushed up a bit higher to peek out the adjacent window, looking for buildings.
Nothing.

Just wilderness.

Signing off the radio, Rafe turned and saw her sitting halfway erect. He unfastened his seat belt and swung from the copilot's seat into the center aisle.

"Just rest easy, honey. Ryan has to start the four-runner and get it warm, so it'll be a few minutes before we get out. " He bent over a first-row seat to check on the sleeping baby and then moved aft to hunker in front of her. Maggie half-expected him to whip a glass of water from behind his back. Instead he pressed a hand to her forehead. "How you feeling? Tired, I'll bet. "

Maggie was too tense to be tired. She'd never been across the Idaho state line, and she'd never stepped foot on an airplane either. Now she was about to marry a man whose family owned two, this Cessna, which had a pressurized cabin for comfortable long-distance travel, and a small single-engine called an Eagle, which Rafe had explained was used for ranch work.

"What?" he asked softly.

Maggie shook her head. How could she explain her feelings when they were in such a tangle?

This man, who'd poured sixty-four ounces of water into her in the last three hours and hadn't stopped to think she might need to use the rest room, had taken control of her life.

A part of Maggie knew Rafe meant her no harm. He treated her as if she were made of fragile glass, his so-licitousness almost suffocating. How could she fear someone who seemed so frantically concerned about her well-being?

Yet on a level where reason held no sway, Maggie did fear him. She'd been in a situation where a man had complete control of her world, and she'd learned from
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experience just how vulnerable that made her.

"Can you sit up, honey?"

Maggie did as he asked, relieved to find that she felt much stronger now than she had in days.

He reached for her parka.

"I can do it, " she protested as he began fishing her arm down a sleeve. When that didn't slow him down, she added, "I hate being so much trouble. "

He tugged the jacket up onto her shoulder, then reached behind her to pull it around. "You're no trouble, " he said huskily. He hesitated in his task to cup her chin in his big hand and make her look at him. "You'll never know how sincerely I mean that. "

It seemed to Maggie that his dark face came closer, and for a moment, she felt sure he was about to kiss her. Her heart flip-flopped, sending a flutter into her throat. Her gaze went to his mouth. In the dimness of the plane, his firm lips had a satiny sheen. For a fleeting instant, she wondered what it might be like to kiss a man whose breath didn't reek of stale cigarettes and beer.

Shocked at herself, Maggie shoved the thought away. A mischievous glint danced in Rafe's eyes, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. Letting the coat puddle behind her, he tightened his hold on her chin and curled his other hand over her nape, his hard fingers sifting through the strands of her hair to rest with intimate pos-sessiveness on her skin. Shivers ribboned down her spine as he traced circles with his fingertips.

His features blurred as he pressed closer. Maggie planted a hand on his chest, intending to hold him away. The instant her palm connected with the front of his shirt, that hope fled. He felt as heavy and immovable as a wall of granite. Her breath snagged in her throat as his lips settled over hers.
Velvet heat.

He tipped his head to gain better control of the kiss, parting his lips and touching the tip of his tongue lightly to hers. Maggie jerked. His arm tensed, the wide palm on her nape becoming a relentless but gentle restraint

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that held her fast. He tasted her as he might a sweet he meant to savor, with light brushes of his tongue that teased her sensitive flesh like the flutter of a butterfly wing. His breath mingled with hers, hot and laced with the rich taste of coffee and mint.

Maggie felt as if her bones were dissolving. The stutter of her pulse at the base of her throat became a pounding that seemed to echo in her temples. He wouldn't allow her to pull away, and she couldn't help but be frightened by the sheer power she felt radiating from his big body. She'd found herself on the receiving end of a man's greater strength too many times to easily discount the dangers. But at the same time, she was fascinated. Every other kiss she'd ever experienced had been a slobbery grinding of teeth that had hurt her lips and made her feel as if she were going to strangle on her own bile. By contrast, Rafe's mouth coaxed hers for a response she didn't know how to give.

When he drew back, there was a question in his eyes.

"I—" Maggie gulped and groped for the coat sleeve behind her. "I'm not a very good kisser, I'm afraid. "

As she fumbled with the jacket, he continued to caress her neck, his touch seeming to become more electrical with every pass of his fingertips. Her stomach felt as if she had swallowed a giant-sized carton of live goldfish.

"Maggie?" he whispered.

She froze, her gaze drawn to his by the silky demand in his tone. He smiled slightly and rubbed his thumb over her mouth. "What?" she squeaked.

He leaned forward to graze his lips along her temple, his breath stirring the curls there as he whispered, "You kiss like an angel. "

He drew back and released her. As he reached around her to finish helping her into the jacket, he smiled. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel a little less nervous? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the feeling you're a little afraid of me. There's no reason to be. "

No reason? He'd made clear his intention to make this

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a
real marriage. She found the prospect of physical intimacy terrifying. Not that she would ever admit it. Fear was yet another weakness that a man could use against you.

Trying to keep her expression carefully blank, she bent her head to fumble with the zipper.

"I'm not afraid of you. That's silly. "
It truly is silly,
a small voice inside her mind chided.
Any
fool can see he doesn't mean to hurt you.
Maggie guessed she was like those people who were afraid of heights. Even standing behind a sturdy guardrail, they couldn't breathe when they looked down. Sometimes a person's fears defied all reason. "Why would I be afraid?"

He brushed her fingers aside. "Is that why your hands are shaking? Because you trust me so much?"

Maggie looked down and saw that he was right; she was shaking. "I'm just—cold. "

He zipped the jacket and rocked back on his heels, his well-muscled arms resting loosely on his knees. His expression was bemused as he regarded her. "I'll never hurt you. I want you to know that. And when the time comes that we make love, you'll
want
to do it. I promise you that. "

Maggie barely managed to suppress a shudder. "Th-that would be nice. "

"Better than nice, " he assured her.
"Much
better than nice. "

Maggie had her doubts. She would be greatly relieved if sexual intimacy with him turned out to be tolerable.
Nice
was a bit much to hope for.

He stood and drew her to her feet. Just then, Ryan opened the door of the plane. "The four-runner's heated up. "

Rafe gathered Jaimie from the seat and handed him down to his brother, who promptly ran toward the waiting Ford to get the baby in out of the cold. Grabbing a hand strap suspended from the ceiling, Rafe swung from the plane, bypassing the drop-down steps. He caught his
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balance and turned, motioning her to the doorway. When she came within reach, he swept her into his arms.

As he carried her toward the expensive sport-utility vehicle parked a few feet away, she spied a small hangar in front of the plane that she'd been unable to see from the rear windows.

"Does that building have a rest room?" she asked, hating herself for blushing.

"It sure does. "

He broke stride and veered toward the hangar. It lay quite a distance away, and the snow at the edge of the plowed runway was over a foot deep.

"I can walk, " she suggested. "I'm feeling much stronger today. "

"It's farther than it looks, " was his only reply.

Maggie stifled a sigh.

At the end of the tarmac, he jostled her in his arms to get a better hold and then struck off through the drifts. Maggie clutched his shirt, her body tense. She was only a few feet off the ground, but it seemed like much more. "It looks icy and slick in spots, " she observed, thinking how easily he might slip.

"It is. "

Maggie kept expecting him to get breathless. It was hard going, and he was lugging a lot of extra weight. But he trudged on without getting winded. Once at the hangar, he bent slightly to open a door, then carried her inside a small office furnished with only a desk, a chair, and a metal file cabinet. He set her on-her feet in front of another door.

"Thank you. "

He leaned around her to twist the knob and flip on the bathroom light. "You're very welcome.

If you need any help, just holler. "

Not in this lifetime.

Her legs felt weak, undoubtedly from lying in bed so long. She stepped inside, closed the door, and was about to turn the latch when he said, "Don't lock it, all right?

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Just in case, I don't want to have to break down the door again. "

She quickly finished her business. When she emerged from the bathroom, she found him gazing at a picture on the wall.

"My son, Keefer, " he said. "It was taken the summer before. "

Before.
Maggie moved closer, wondering what it must be like to have your life divided into two parts, before and after. The child perched on Rafe's bare shoulders in the snapshot looked about two, with chubby cherub cheeks and wavy dark brown hair. He bore a striking resemblance to his father.

The camera had caught Rafe laughing. He had been much younger then, if not in years, at least at heart, his eyes dancing with merriment. He'd also been huskier of build, his bronze upper body a sculpture of male strength, with bulging biceps, a powerfully padded chest, and an abdomen striated with rock-hard muscle. He'd been wearing jeans that skimmed his lean hips and long legs.

Her gaze returned to the child, whose dimpled fingers were clenched in his father's wind-tossed black hair. She almost said she knew how seeing the picture must hurt, but if she were to lose Jaimie, she wouldn't want people to pretend they understood how she felt. She didn't understand, she could only imagine, and she prayed to God it remained that way.

"Ready?"

Maggie glanced up. Rafe was smiling, but the shadows in his eyes were difficult to miss. "I'm so sorry. " She hesitated and then heard herself saying exactly what she'd decided not to. "I know how it must hurt. "

"That's the first picture I've seen since I left, " he said softly. "It kind of blindsided me is all. "

He swept her up into his arms. Maggie hugged his sturdy neck, once again feeling as if she were dangling

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from a skyscraper ledge. The sadness had left his eyes. "Worried I'll turn loose of you?"

"I'm hoping not, " she replied.

A slow grin spread over his firm mouth. "Count on it, Maggie girl. "

As he carried her to the waiting four-runner, Maggie wondered if he'd meant that as a reassurance or a threat.

En route to the house, Maggie hugged her sleeping baby close and peered out the windows of the four-runner for some sign of buildings. All she saw were distant mountains, pine and fir trees, open fields, and Herefords, all of which seemed to be running loose. It was beautiful landscape—like some of the winter scenes she'd seen on postcards. But admiring pictures and being smack-dab in the middle of the reality were two different things. After living in town all her life, she felt displaced here. And cut off from the world.

Even the luxurious interior of the Expedition smelled alien to her, the familiar scents of new-car leather and molded plastic blended with foreign odors. Grass of some kind, maybe? And horses? Glancing over her shoulder, Maggie saw that the back storage area of the Ford was strewn with pieces of rope, strange-looking leather straps, chunky metal gadgets, and bits of hay.

Rafe, who sat beside her in the back, finally noticed her craning her neck to see out his window and flashed her a questioning look.