Baby Momma Drama (12 page)
Authors: Carl Weber
“What about this morning? I called you at six o’clock.”
“We were at the hospital all night. She didn’t have the baby till this morning.” I closed my eyes and prayed he’d believe me. A call-waiting beep reminded me I’d left Dylan on the other line. “Oh, Dylan. Hold on a minute.”
“Dylanl Who the fuck is Dylan?”
I shot a look at Sabrina, who had her head in her hands, laughing up a storm. Shit, with friends like her, who needs enemies?
“Did I say Dylan? I’m sorry, boo.” The lies were getting easier, coming faster. “I was just talking to Sabrina about her new man. His name is Dylan. I just got a little confused.”
“What the hell is going on, Jasmine?” His sixth sense was kicking into high gear, and I knew it was only a matter of time before he went off on me. The phone beeped again and I took advantage of the escape.
“Nothin’, Derrick. Hold on a second.” I clicked over. “Hello?”
“I guess you forgot about me.” Dylan’s voice didn’t make me tingle this time. It gave me a headache.
“No, I didn’t forget you. I’m just on an important call.”
“Okay, well, I’ll let you go then.” Damn, he was still being the gentleman. If he were an asshole, I wouldn’t be in this shit right now. “So what’s up with dinner?” he asked.
“I don’t think that’s a very good idea. Not after last night.” I did another 180-degree turn with my attitude. Just a minute ago I would have agreed to go anywhere with him. Now I just wanted him off the phone. And yet, once again, he dealt with my changing personality and persisted.
“Jasmine, we can go just as friends. I swear, no funny business.”
“I appreciate the offer, Dylan.”
More than you know.
“But maybe some other time, okay?”
More than you know.
“But maybe some other time, okay?”
“Hey, we’re still gonna be friends, aren’t we?”
“Yeah, I’d love to be your friend. Look, I gotta go. Thanks again for the flowers.” I clicked over before he could try to change my mind.
“Derrick?”
“Who is Dylan?” He was still on that. Shit.
“I told you. He’s Sabrina new boyfriend.” I took on some serious attitude. Maybe I could distract him from the issue if I got him mad about my bitch factor.
“Stop lying to me, Jasmine.” Damn. He still wouldn’t give up. It was time to turn up the volume.
“Fuck you, Derrick!”
“What’d you say?” I could hear the shock in his voice.
“I said fuck you!” Sabrina was still nearby, giving me mock applause for my performance. I’m sure this shit was better than Ricki Lake as far as she was concerned. “I’m not a liar, Derrick, and I don’t appreciate you calling me one. Now, I’m tired from being up all night. I had a hard day at work, and I still gotta take Big Momma to the hospital to see Stephanie’s baby. So if you wanna call me a liar, I’ma hang up the fucking phone, ’cause I don’t need this shit!” There was silence on the line for a second as I waited to see if my performance had done its job.
“Hold up, baby. Relax for a minute.” I did relax, ‘cause I knew I was finally safe. “I’m sorry. It’s just hard bein’ in here, knowing you’re out there with all them brothers who might be trying to take advantage of you. I mean, look at Sabrina. Her poor Richie is doing his time, trying to hold on to his sanity, and Sabrina’s out ho‘in’ with some guy named Dylan. That shit ain’t right. You can see how I could get a little suspicious, can’t you?”
“I guess. But if you don’t know I love you by now, you never will.” I tried to sound like he’d hurt my feelings. All I was really feeling was guilty, ’cause doubts about my love had definitely crossed my mind in the last twenty-four hours.
“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” Derrick sounded like he’d had enough of this roller-coaster ride for the moment. “Look, I gotta go to chow, but I’ll call you later, okay?” I didn’t answer. I was relieved I’d been able to distract Derrick’s suspicious self, and I didn’t want to risk another word. “Come on, Jazz. Don’t do this.”
“Make it around seven. I gotta take Big Momma to the hospital.”
“Ah’ight, boo. I love you.” He actually sounded relieved that I’d told him to call me back. It wasn’t often I felt like I came out on top of one of our little squabbles.
“I love you, too, Derrick.” I hung up and looked at Sabrina, knowing she’d be dying to give me her two cents now.
“Damn, girl, they should be giving you an Academy Award, ’cause that was one hell of a performance.” She wrinkled her brow when I didn’t thank her for the compliment. Maybe she thought I wasn’t done when I picked up the phone again. “Who you calling now? Dylan?”
“Hell, no! I’m callin’ the telephone company. This time tomorrow I’m gonna have a new unlisted number. I can’t handle this kinda stress.”
8
Travis
It was our first Christmas in our new house, and we were halfway through dinner when the doorbell rang. Both Stephanie and I glanced at each other, hoping the other was gonna get up and answer the door. I had a good reason for wanting her to get it I knew who was at the door, and he was delivering Stephanie’s Christmas present. The plan was for her to answer the door and get her big surprise while all her family was here to witness the look on her face.
Unfortunately, it didn’t look like things were gonna go according to plan. Stephanie was on a mission at the moment. She was sitting at the kids’ table trying to get Maleka to eat her vegetables, and she was finally making some headway. She had actually gotten her to eat a few bites of greens, which was no small feat. If it were up to Maleka, her diet would consist of hamburgers, hotdogs, and french fries. Getting up to answer the door would signal escape for Maleka, and Stephanie was not about to go for that.
Ding-dong, ding-dong.
“Baby, can you get that, please?” She gave me a pleading look.
“Sure, hon.”
I
handed my son, Travis Jr., to my soon-to-be mother-in-law, Miss Betty. Now I’d have to think of another plan.
I
handed my son, Travis Jr., to my soon-to-be mother-in-law, Miss Betty. Now I’d have to think of another plan.
“I bet you that’s Jasmine’s sorry ass,” Big Momma gnonbled from across the table. “That girl should be ashamed of herself. She ain’t never on time unless she’s trying to catch a bus up to that jail in Roanoke. Who in the world ever heard of showing up three hours late for Christmas dinner?”
“Oh, she probably just had car trouble, Momma.” Miss Betty tried her best to defend her oldest daughter.
“Please, Betty Jean.” Big Momma sucked her teeth. “She could’ve at least called. She was probably up at that prison with that drug dealer. The Lord only knows what she sees in that boy.”
“I don’t think the Lord even knows, Big Momma,” Stephanie interjected with a laugh.
“Wait a minute, Stephanie. Didn’t she... ” I was about to remind her that Jasmine had called this morning to tell us she wasn’t coming to dinner, but Stephanie shot me a look that shut my mouth in a hurry.
“Travis, go get the door, and mind your business.” Stephanie rolled her eyes at me and I rolled mine right back. I knew what she was trying to do, and I didn’t like it one bit. She wanted me to shut up about the call ’cause she always enjoyed when her family talked shit about her sister. I could have put a stop to it, but I’d told myself a long time ago that I wasn’t gonna get involved with their little feud. Besides, I had other things on my mind.
Ding-dong, ding-dong.
I opened the door and smiled when I saw the sparkling Ford minivan parked next to my Expedition in the driveway. A giant Christmas bow hung from the rearview mirror and another from the hood ornament.
“Matt, where you at, man?” I stuck my head out the door and whispered loudly.
“Over here behind the van,” he whispered back. “I thought you said Stephanie was gonna answer the door.”
“Don’t worry, she’s coming. I just gotta figure out how.” I stepped out onto the porch. “Now, fix the bow on the hood. It’s crooked.” I watched him adjust it. “How’s she drive?”
“Like a dream. She’s really gonna love it, T. Wanda wants me to buy her one now.” He handed me the keys.
“Speaking of Wanda, how is she?” I waved to his wife, who was sitting in their car, parked in front of a neighbor’s house.
“She’s good, man. But I know she’s wondering why it’s you at the door and not Steph. She was dying to see the look on Stephanie’s face when she saw that van.”
“Well, I’m gonna go get Steph now,” I told him as another plan came to mind. “Why don’t you go get Lisa and the two of you can come in and have dessert?”
“Thanks, man, but I can’t. I’ve gotta get up the road. I was supposed to be at my in-laws’ in Fredericksburg an hour ago.”
“All right, then.” I reached out and we grasped hands. “Thanks again, man. I really appreciate you keeping the van at your place until today.”
“After all the shit you’ve done for me? Please, this is nothing. I’ll see you at work.” I watched Matt walk down the driveway. He was a good friend. I don’t know too many people who would take time out of their holiday to do what he did.
I glanced at the minivan one last time and swelled with pride. Nothing in the world could make a man feel good about himself like being able to provide for his family. Now Stephanie would have a shiny car to park in the driveway in front of our new house. But first I had to surprise her, and I wanted to make it good. I stepped into the house and slammed the door as hard as I could behind me.
“Goddamn it! Stephanie, get out here,” I screamed. Stephanie came running into the foyer, followed by Big Momma and the rest of her family.
“What is it, baby? What’s the matter?” She had a look of fear on her face. No doubt she was expecting some terrible news, so I guess my performance was pretty effective. It took everything I had not to burst out laughing.
“Don’t play stupid with me.” I masked my laughter. “You know exactly what’s the matter! What the hell is that in our driveway?”
“I don’t know.” Stephanie shrugged her shoulders and looked to Big Momma for some help. Miraculously, this was the one time Big Momma’s mouth didn’t seem to work. Maybe she was in shock. This sure wasn’t the Goody Two-Shoes Travis they were used to seeing, and I was kinda enjoying the act.
“You must think I’m a fool.” I faced her and tried to look grim.
“Look, Travis, I don’t know what you’re talking about, so stop playing games and tell me what’s going on.”
“Oh, so now you don’t know what’s goin’ on, huh? You think I’m playing games? Well, what’s that parked in our driveway? A horse and buggy?” I opened the door dramatically and made a grand, sweeping gesture with my arm. Stephanie stepped past me, and her family wasn’t far behind, everyone peering outside to see what horror I’d been screaming about.
“Merry Christmas, baby,” I murmured into Stephanie’s ear as I moved beside her.
“Oh, my God!” she squeaked, placing her hands over her mouth. She looked at me then back at the van, a smile covering her face. “Is that—is that for me?”
“Yeah, it’s for you.” I kissed her and handed her the keys. “Only the best for my baby.”
There were plenty of
oohs
and
aahs
coming from her family members. They’d all been impressed by the house, so this present was just icing on the cake. How could I be anything less than Superman in their eyes right now? I was taking care of Stephanie, taking care of Maleka and the baby, and showering my family with gifts they’d never dreamed they could own. But somehow, I guess Stephanie wasn’t as impressed as her family members, ’cause she handed the keys back to me.
oohs
and
aahs
coming from her family members. They’d all been impressed by the house, so this present was just icing on the cake. How could I be anything less than Superman in their eyes right now? I was taking care of Stephanie, taking care of Maleka and the baby, and showering my family with gifts they’d never dreamed they could own. But somehow, I guess Stephanie wasn’t as impressed as her family members, ’cause she handed the keys back to me.
“What’s up? Why you givin’ the keys back?” I tried to put them back in her hands, but she kept her fingers curled tightly.
“I can’t accept this, Travis,” she said quietly. Now there was plenty of murmuring coming from her family behind us. Talk about blowin’ up my spot.
“Stop playin’, Steph.” I tried to give her the keys again, but she still wouldn’t take them.
“I’m not playin’, Travis. Take the car back.” She looked at the van one more time, sighed, and tried to head to the door. I wasn’t letting her go anywhere without an explanation. To say I was hurt is an understatement. I’d gone to a lot of trouble to get that car by Christmas, and this certainly wasn’t the reaction I’d been expecting.
“You been saying you wanted a new car for over a year.” Talk about some shit. All of a sudden I felt like a used-car salesman when I should have felt like Santa Claus. “Come on. You didn’t even look at it. It’s the van you were talking about last week. It even has a VCR for the kids just like you wanted. Is there something wrong with the color or somethin’?”
“No, the color’s fine and so is the van,” she sighed again.
“So what’s the problem?”
Enough with the sighing shit; just get to the point.
Enough with the sighing shit; just get to the point.
“We can’t afford a new car. You just bought me a house and you’re still paying off your truck. How we gonna afford another car?”
Huh?
This couldn’t have been the same girl I met in that club. As long as she got what she wanted, that girl couldn’t have cared less how the bills were getting paid. Now here she was, the voice of financial reason. This was funny. She was either seriously maturing, which I liked, or she was frontin’ for her family members. Either way, I could play her game, too.
This couldn’t have been the same girl I met in that club. As long as she got what she wanted, that girl couldn’t have cared less how the bills were getting paid. Now here she was, the voice of financial reason. This was funny. She was either seriously maturing, which I liked, or she was frontin’ for her family members. Either way, I could play her game, too.
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