Baby, Oh Baby! (34 page)

Annie tugged as his arm. "Come on, let's ride it again."'

"Okay. We'll have to get some more tickets."

The ticket booth was at the far end of the midway.

Jake followed her off the loading platform and into the jostling crowd, into a cacophony of voices and loud music and barker calls, into a scented sea of corn dogs and nachos and cotton candy. The sun was setting, and the midway lights were beginning to gleam.

Jake put his arm around Annie to pull her out of the way of a hot-dog vendor's cart. She glanced up, smiled and looped her arm around his waist in response. He knew he should draw away, knew he should disengage from the intimacy that came with her touch, but she felt too good against him.

"I'm having a great time," she said.

"Me, too." A better time than he ought to be having, he thought guiltily. He'd tried to weasel out of spending the weekend alone with Annie, but Susanna had shamed him into it. "Your marriage doesn't stand a. chance unless you put some effort into it," she'd said. "You and Annie need some time alone."

To appease Susanna, Jake had agreed: It would be easier for her to accept their divorce if she thought he'd tried to make the marriage work. Jake had thought he could spend the day working and Annie could spend it shopping or sight-seeing, and Susanna would never know the difference. But then Susanna had presented them with two tickets to the Tulsa State Fair and a gift certificate to a luxury hotel.

"Annie told me she loves carnivals and fairs, so I thought it would be the perfect place for you to take her," she'd said.

"What's with the hotel gift certificate?" Jake: had asked.

"You two never had a real honeymoon. I thought it would seem like more of a special occasion if you spent the night away from home, so I made reservations for you for tonight.. There's a gift certificate for dinner at

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Baby, Oh Baby!

the hotel restaurant, too. It's supposed to be very nice—very romantic." She'd patted his arm. "You two go and have a good time. I'll look forward to hearing all about it when you pick up the baby on Sunday."

Susanna had him over a barrel. He didn't want to tell her the truth about his relationship with Annie, but he was incapable of telling her a bald-faced lie. So here he was, against his better judgment, spending the day with Annie, enjoying himself more than he had. any right to do.

"Susanna said you're missing out on a big golf tournament this weekend," Annie remarked as she and Jake passed a concession that required contestants to guess which plastic cup hid a golf ball.

He shrugged. "I wasn't that eager to spend time with Tom."

How about spending time with me? Annie wondered. She prayed that Susanna was right—that the reason Jake was keeping his distance was because he was drawn to her. Tonight she intended to find out.

The thought made her stomach knot. She directed her thoughts back to Tom. "From what Susanna told me, it sounds as if things have gotten pretty tense between you and him."

"That's putting it mildly." Jake shook his head. "Lately he's been completely unreasonable."

"About what?"

"Everything."

"Our marriage?"

Jake sighed. "The marriage, Work. Life in general."

"His relationship with Susanna?"

Jake shot her a keen glance. "That, too."

The line of people buying tickets was long and slow   and moving. Talking to Jake suddenly held a lot more appeal than taking another ride. Annie looked up at him. "You know, I don't think I've got another roller-coaster ride in me after all. I'm famished, and all the noise and lights and smells are about to give me sensory overload. Why don't we go use Susanna's gift certificate for dinner?"

"Sounds good."

They walked to the car, their arms still looped companionably around each other. Jake opened the car door for her, then settled behind the wheel and started the

engine.

She gazed over at him, her heart tripping at the sight of his handsome profile. "Aside from things with Tom, how are things at work? Have you got any interesting

cases?"

"To tell you the truth, none of it is very interesting anymore." He pulled the car onto the road, steering it toward the interstate, then glanced at her. "I've been doing a lot of thinking about what you said, about practicing another type of law."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. I even talked to Tom about it. I told him I'd like to expand the kind of cases we take, to take on some consumer law cases, maybe even do some pro Bono work for battered women and abused kids."

"What did he say?"

"That it would damage the firm's reputation."

"Is he right?"

"Maybe” He said, “If you needed a triple bypass, would you choose a cardiologist who only does heart surgery, or would you choose one who also treats in-:: grown toenails?' It was a valid point." Jake looked in the rearview mirror and changed lanes. "I've got to make some kind of change, though. I can't stand the thought of doing nothing but acquisitions and mergers for the: rest of my life."

Annie stared at the taillights of the car ahead of them. "That's exactly the point I'd reached when I decided to leave advertising. The final straw came when someone asked what I liked best about the business, and I couldn't come up with an answer."

Jake shot her a sidelong glance. "Why did you decide to go into it?"

"Actually, I didn't. It was my father's decision. He thought he knew what was best for me, and I went along with it, wanting to please him." Annie gazed out the window at the passing lights. "There comes a point when you have to stop trying to please other people and set your own course. Nobody knows what's best for another person. Sometimes we don't even know ourselves. We have to find out as we go along."

Jake pulled off the highway and guided the car toward a large high-rise hotel. He glanced over at her. "How did you get so wise?"

His gaze was warm, and it sent a current of heat sizzling through her. "Oh, I'm not wise. I mostly learn by making mistakes."

Jake grinned as he pulled into the parking lot. "That's what I like about you."

"What? That I make a lot of mistakes?"

"You don't pretend to have all the answers. It's so damned refreshing.".\

Annie's heart felt full and ripe and heavy, loaded with love, the way her belly had felt when she was pregnant with Madeline. She gazed. at Jake as he parked the car and turned off the engine. "Is that all you like about me?" she found herself asking.

His gaze locked. on hers like a patriot missile. Tension crackled in the air, along with an acute sexual awareness. "No." His voice was very soft, very deep. "Oh, no." His eyes were hot and aware and hungry, and they set Annie's heart to thumping against fifer rib cage.

It was time for her to make her move. Slowly, deliberately, Annie reached her arms around his neck and pulled him toward her. Slowly, deliberately, her eyes open the whole time, she fitted her mouth to his.

She needn't have worried about how he'd respond. The kiss went from zero to sixty in a matter of mere seconds. He kissed her back, ravishing her mouth and neck and face, kissing her as. if he were starved for her taste.

"That was even more thrilling than the roller coaster," Annie murmured long moments later when they surfaced for air, hot and panting.

"A lot more thrilling." His voice was low and smoky, throbbing with desire. "But, Annie, honey, it's a lot more dangerous, too,"

"So let's live dangerously." She gently drew her fingers through his hair. "I want to make love with you, Jake. I want to feet your hands on me and your mouth on me, and I want to put mine on you. I want to feel the weight of your body on me." Her voice lowered to a breathy whisper. "I want to feel you inside of me."

"Good God, Annie....

"I've been thinking about you, wanting you until I thought I'd lose my mind."

He pulled her into a kiss so hot she thought she'd melt, drawing her as close as the gear box would let them get. It wasn't nearly close enough. "Let's go in and get a room," he murmured.

. Annie's heart did a fast, giddy dance. Their arms around each other, she and Jake crossed the parking lot and walked through the brass double doors.

As they entered the lobby, they nearly collided with a short, blond-haired man. The man glanced at Jake, then stopped short, his ruddy face creasing in a smile. "Jake—Jake Chastaine! Why, I haven't seen you since our ten-year high school reunion."

. Jake dropped his arm from around Annie as if she were a hot potato. "Smitty—good to see you." The two men shook hands.

Smitty glanced at Annie with open curiosity, then looked back to Jake.

"How are your folks?" Jake asked.

"Fine, fine. They recently moved to Arizona. How are yours?"

A shadow passed over Jake's face, as if a gate had clanked shut. "They're dead."

Smitty looked stunned. "Oh, wow—I'm so sorry. When did it happen?"

"Two years ago. An auto accident. Rachel.. . well, Rachel was with them."

Smitty's mouth fell open. He rapidly closed it. "She's. . ." His voice held a question mark..

Jake nodded, his face grim.

"Oh, man. I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I've lived in Dallas for the past five years, and ..."

"It's okay."

Smitty cast another curious glance at Annie. Jake cleared his throat. "Annie, this is Darrell Smith, an old friend from high school. Smitty, this is Annie—Annie, er, Hollister."

Hollister? Her last name was Chastain now. She glanced at Jake questioningly.

"Nice to meet you," Smitty said, shaking her hand. "Any friend of Jake's is a friend of mine."

Annie smiled at him, wanting to correct the error. "Actually, we're…”

Jake took her arm and gave it a warning squeeze. "We're, uh, just going in for dinner," he interrupted.

"Well, I won't keep you. It was great .seeing you." The man shook Jake's hand again, and nodded at Annie. "Nice meeting you." His eyes creased in a sympathetic frown as he turned back to Jake. "Hey—I'm really sorry about Rachel and your folks."

Jake nodded somberly. Smitty headed out through the brass doors, leaving Annie and Jake alone in the bright, marble-floored lobby.

"You didn't want him to know we were married," she said bluntly.

"No." Jake raised his hand to his cheek. "It seemed too awkward."

"It was awkward anyway."

Jake sighed, avoiding her eyes. "He knew Rachel. We all went to school together. For me to have remarried so soon after her death. It seems, well ... disrespectful. As if I didn't love her."

An ache started deep inside of Annie and expanded outward, growing keener and sharper as it reached the surface. When she spoke, her voice came out sharp, too. "I didn't know you were so hung up on appearances."

Jake's jaw firmed into a stubborn set. "I am when it comes to Rachel."

"I don't suppose it occurred to you to just tell him the truth."

"Look—I hadn't seen Smitty in five years. I didn't feel like getting into a discussion about infertility treatments and donated sperm."

It was understandable, of course, but it didn't make Annie feel any better.

His voice softened. "You're hurt."

Annie didn't deny it. Hurt seemed like a paltry word to describe the raw ache she felt inside.

"Hey, I didn't mean to upset you." Jake's eyes were remorseful. "I just didn't think any good would be served by giving him a bunch of unnecessary details."

Was that how he viewed their marriage—as an unnecessary detail? A fresh wave of hurt washed over her. "Do you intend to keep our marriage a secret from all your friends and acquaintances? If that's the case, I don't know why we bothered getting married at all."

"For Madeline. We did it for Madeline."

Of course. How could she have forgotten? How could she have been so foolish as to think, for even a minute, that they could have a real marriage, a union with love between the two of them as well as between each of them and their child? How could she have been so moony-eyed as to think Jake might actually grow to care about her, might even fall in love with her as she'd fallen in love with him?

"Be sensible, Annie. As time goes by, it'll become easier to explain. All anyone will ever need to know is that you and I were briefly married and that we have a child together."

It made perfect sense. It was logical and reasonable. But Annie didn't feel reasonable. She felt heartsick and hurt.

It was an exercise in futility, trying to win Jake's heart. Jake would never love her as he'd loved Rachel. Annie would never fill Rachel's shoes. She would always be second best. What she and Jake had wasn't a marriage; it was an arrangement.

She'd known that, going into it. She'd been an idiot to think she could change his mind.

"Would you like to get some dinner and talk it over?" Jake asked.

There was nothing to talk about. She'd hoped that this weekend would be a turning a point, that she and Jake would become lovers, that they could turn their sham of a marriage into the real thing. Now she could see it was a lost cause.

Jake didn't want a future with her. In his mind, she was already a thing of the past. His words burned painfully in her mind:
All anyone will ever need to know is that you and I were briefly married and that we have a child together
.

Tears welled in her eyes. She struggled to blink them back.

"Let's go get some dinner," he urged.

She shook her head. "I'm not hungry. I'd like to just check in and go straight to the room."

"Well, okay." Jake's expression was clearly bewildered. "But I thought, after what just happened, that you wouldn't want to...."

Good grief—he didn't really think she was suggesting
that,
did he? She pulled herself to her fullest height. "It'll be easier if we spend the night in separate places," she said in her frostiest tone. "You can pick me up here tomorrow afternoon, and we'll go get Madeline together."

Jake's eyes were somber, his expression pained. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Annie. If I did, I'm really sorry."

"So am I, Jake. So am I."

Chapter Nineteen