Bachelor at Her Bidding (Bachelor Auction Book 2) (16 page)

Rachel frowned. “I thought she was improving?”

“She is, Rachel, but we both know she’s eighty years old, she’s had a TIA, she’s not very mobile and she has dementia,” Dr. Majors said gently. “Her grandson’s done a brilliant job looking after her, but day care isn’t going to be enough anymore. Even if he gives up his job for a few months, her needs are going to change quite quickly now and he just won’t be able to give her the care she needs.”

She winced. “Ryan’s not going to take the news well.”

“Which is why I’m talking to you,” Dr. Majors said. “You’re close to him. He’s more likely to accept it from you.”

It was blurring the edges between her professional and her personal life – something she’d always been warned against – but Rachel could see her senior colleague’s point. Ryan might take the news better if he heard it from her.

“OK. I’ll talk to him tonight,” she said.

That evening, Ryan came in to her apartment, looking much happier. “Gram’s doing well. The nurse said that there’s a good chance she’ll be able to come home soon.”

Rachel knew that what she was going to say would break his heart. But there wasn’t any other way round it. “I’ll make you a coffee,” she said, and bustled around in her kitchen until she’d nerved herself to talk to him.

“Ry, we need to talk about your grandmother,” she said.

He frowned. “What about?”

“Dr. Majors has been discussing things with the hospital.” She took a deep breath. Please, please don’t let Ryan take this the wrong way. “He thinks it’s time for her to go into full time residential care. And I agree with him.”

*

Ryan went cold.
He’d been here before, with a woman who wanted him to put his grandmother into residential care rather than look after her himself.

“No,” he said flatly. “I’m not dumping her in a home and deserting her.”

Rachel bit her lip. “That’s not what I’m saying, Ry.”

He stared at her. “You know as well as I do that she’s having rehab treatment and she’s recovering from a chest infection. Once she can walk properly again, even if she has to use a walking frame, she’ll be fine to come home.”

“Ry, your grandmother’s eighty years old, she’s had a mini-stroke – which often means someone then goes on to have a full-blown stroke – and she’s got dementia. It’s a progressive disease, and she’s going to need more and more care as the weeks go on.”

Did she really think he didn’t know that? He wasn’t stupid. “I’m perfectly prepared to do that,” he said, his voice clipped.

“That includes personal care, Ry,” she said softly. “Washing her. Helping her in the bathroom.”

He lifted his chin. “Which I can do.”

“I know, but, Ry, think about it from
her
point of view.”

“I am. It means that she’ll be cared for by someone who loves her, not a stranger.”

“The people who care for her won’t necessarily be strangers. There’s a good chance she’ll know the staff in the residential home already – she’ll have taught them, or maybe their parents. And your grandmother’s lovely. She makes friends easily and the staff will adore her.”

He knew that was true, but what he couldn’t get past was what Rachel was saying. And right at that moment he couldn’t see the woman who’d supported him since Phyllis had been taken to hospital, who’d visited Phyllis every day.

What he saw was Lucille.

The contempt in her eyes. “How can you throw away everything I’ve worked for, just because the old woman wants a bit of company?”

He’d had to take a deep breath before replying. His grandmother wasn’t just some “old woman”. She was his only remaining family. Couldn’t Lucille see that? “Gram needs more than just company. She’s getting frail. She needs someone to keep an eye on her.”

“So put her in a home That’s what they’re there for.”

“I’m not putting her in a home.”

A scornful toss of the head from Lucille. “You can’t look after someone
and
run a restaurant.”

“Not if the restaurant’s in Bozeman, no. But we could open a place in Marietta instead.”

“Soft as butter and soft in the head. That’s what you are. I’m not working in some backwater. I want restaurants in LA and New York. Just put her in a home and have done with it.”

He’d refused.

Just as he was refusing now.

He’d walked away from one woman who’d wanted him to desert his only family. And it looked as if he’d have to do the same again. “I’m not deserting my grandmother.” He stood up. “And for you to even suggest that – that shows you don’t know me at all.”

“Ry –”

To his shock, Rachel was using exactly the same wheedling, cajoling tone that Lucille had used when she’d found out that demanding didn’t work.

And it felt like nails scratching down a blackboard.

Then he realized that he’d been deluding himself all the way. He’d let himself be seduced into the idea of having company. Of being loved.

And he’d made the same mistake all over again. He’d let himself fall for someone who didn’t want the same things that he did. “Forget it,” he said. “And we’re through. I can’t be with someone who expects me to desert my closest family.”

And he walked out.

*

Rachel watched him
go, too shocked to stop him.

How could Ryan
possibly
think she was telling him to desert Phyllis?

She’d been trying to tell him that Phyllis needed more care, that having your grandchild perform all your personal care could feel just a tad embarrassing, and that he needed to let go now and let Phyllis keep her dignity. He needed to let his grandmother enjoy her time with him as precious family time, not feel that she was a burden to him.

*

OK. Of course
he was upset. She’d just suggested a huge change – one that she’d known he’d find hard to handle. Maybe if she gave him some space, he’d think about it and realize how unreasonable he was being.

Though part of her worried that he wouldn’t. That, just like Nick, he had tunnel vision. Ryan certainly wasn’t selfish like Nick, but he’d got her as wrong as Nick had. Twisted what she was saying.

All she could do was to give him time. And hope that Ryan would see the situation as it really was.

But he didn’t ring her or text her, later than night.

Or the next morning.

And Rachel had to face it: she’d once called him stubborn as a mule, and she’d never said a truer word. He clearly wasn’t in a hurry to make up after their fight. And, after the way Nick had hurt her, she wasn’t going to back down and pretend that her feelings didn’t matter and it was OK. Because it wasn’t OK.

It was over.

‡

L
ater that day,
Ryan was sitting in the day care center manager’s office, discussing the way forward. “The hospital’s really pleased with the way Gram’s responding to the physical therapy and the speech therapy. They said today she’ll be back with me as normal in a week, so can I assume it’s fine to bring her back here?”

Jolene blew out a breath. “Ry, that’s a hard one. Yes, we can do that – but it’s not going to be possible for very long. You need to start considering the next stage.”

“So I need to hand in my notice at Grey’s and then I’ll look after Gram myself full time.” He shrugged. “Well, I always knew we’d get to that stage. OK. If I do that today, can our arrangement stay as it is until I work out my notice period?”

Jolene placed her hand on his arm. “Honey, you’ve been brilliant, but your grandmother is going to start needing care right round the clock.”

“I can do that. She brought me up and she was there for me when I needed her. So now I’ll be there for her.”

She shook her head. “Ry, it’s too much for one person. She’s responding to therapy but her mobility is poor – and that means she’s more likely to have a fall and really hurt herself.”

“I’ll make sure I’m with her and she uses a walking frame when she walks,” Ryan said stubbornly.

“But you can’t be there every second of the day. It’ll kill you. And I know you love her, so you need to do what’s best for her now and let her have professional help,” Jolene said. “We don’t know how long she’ll have left with you. It could be months, or it could be years. But in her shoes I’d want to spend time with you as my grandson, not as my career. I wouldn’t want to be a burden.”

“She won’t be a burden to me. I’ve never thought of her as a burden.” He frowned. “I thought you understood that.”

“Ry, just think about it. Think about it as if you were her and she was you,” Jolene said. “How would you feel?”

“I’m not dumping her in a nursing home.” He lifted his chin. “When my parents died, my grandparents could’ve said no, they couldn’t cope with bringing up a young boy, and they could’ve put me in foster care. But they didn’t. They were there for me, And I’m not sending my grandmother away.”

“It’s not the same thing,” Jolene said gently. “As her dementia gets worse over time – and it’s a condition that doesn’t get better, Ryan – she’s going to need more medical care. The kind of therapy you’re not trained to give.”

“I can learn now to do it,” he said.

“Honey, there’s no question about how much you love her and how you want to do your best for her. But the situation’s changed since she had that stroke. Doing your best for her now means letting her live somewhere else, and visiting with her so she can enjoy her time with you.” She patted his arm. “Think about it. Talk it over with Rachel. Ask her opinion as a doctor.”

Rachel – who’d said exactly the same thing to him.

And instead of seeing the warm, caring woman who’d been there for him every step of the way since his grandmother’s mini-stroke, Ryan had gone back to the way Lucille had tried to push him into dumping his grandmother in a home to suit her needs.

Rachel had had Phyllis’s best interests at heart, not her own.

And instead of understanding that, he’d remembered Lucille’s behavior, assumed that Rachel was the same, pushed her away and stormed off.

“Uh-huh,” he said, and left the day care center with a heavy heart.

Supposing Jolene, Rachel and all the professionals were right about this?

Supposing he was being too stubborn and now he was putting his own needs before his grandmother’s – he wanted so much to care for her the way she’d cared for him as a child that he’d missed the point that she needed more care than he was able to give her?