Bachelor Mother (5 page)

She didn’t answer him right away. It was strangely pleasant, lying in her bed, his warm, masculine body against hers.

He wrapped an arm around her and squeezed her body gently. At that moment, Mel realized she didn’t want to be intimate with any other man – just Bubba.

“Okay,” she said softly. “We’ll try it.”

“Great.” His energy seemed to return instantly. “How do you feel about lunch?”

She smiled. “It’s one of my three favorite meals.”

He glanced at the clock. “If it’s pretty outside, we could take a picnic to Zuma Beach.”

“You’re on.”

Bubba leapt from the bed and tossed her sundress to her. Melanie averted her eyes until he fastened his pants. When she looked up, he was dressed in the jeans he’d worn the night before.

“I’ll start breakfast,” he announced, then opened the bedroom door. A streak of white fur bounded onto the large bed and rolled over, exposing his stomach to Melanie.

She had to laugh. “Henry, how did you get inside?” Before Bubba had officially adopted the cat, he’d lived at both their houses and eaten double meals. Mel still kept a box of cat food in the cupboard just for Henry’s visits. And since her guest bedroom window didn’t have a screen, Henry had a tendency to pop in whenever he wanted a meal.

The cat purred as he rubbed his broad face against her bare arm.

“Go downstairs and let Bubba feed you.” She watched, amused, as the cat jumped noisily off the bed and thundered down the stairs.

Picking up her sundress, she pulled it over her head. Date Bubba? How exactly would that work? She’d seen the type of women he liked. And she knew most of his dates were athletic, into outdoor activities. Anyone interested in Bubba would have to be able to hike, swim, bike, pay racquetball and volleyball – the list was endless.

No problem there. Growing up in the midst of a large family with two older brothers who were both athletic, Melanie had learned to hold her own at a very early age. She’d never detested physical education in school as so many of her friends had. She’d loved the feeling of stretching her body to its limits. Even now, she worked out with weights and ran most mornings. And she’d already played an occasional game of racquetball with Bubba when he didn’t have a date.

She sat down on the bed and fastened her sandals. Bubba was only asking her for a month. She could give him that. It might even make it easier for her to get pregnant if she were relaxed with him.

It was funny. She would have thought, from the image she’d had of him before, that he’d be ready – physically able – for anything. It was surprising to see that Bubba wanted to wait. To get to know her.

But will he like me when we start dating?
  The question was tantalizing. Scary. She’d seen Bubba one way for so long. It was going to be hard to readjust her thinking.

She was straightening the bedclothes when Bubba poked his head inside the bedroom door.

Melanie was glad there wasn’t as much residual awkwardness between them as she’d feared. One thing about Bubba, she could be honest with him, tell him anything. There wouldn’t be any secrets or misunderstandings between them.

“I seem to remember you like blueberry pancakes,” he said, tweaking a strand of her hair.

“You? Pancakes?” She was incredulous.

He feigned a hurt expression. “Straight from a mix in your cupboard. Even
I
  can’t ruin Betty Crocker.”

* * *

Zuma Beach was glorious – clear, hot skies and just a hint of a breeze. Melanie declined Bubba’s suggestion that they swim, claiming she wanted to get a little sun and would join him in an hour. She watched him as he headed out into the ocean, balanced on his surfboard.

Once he was a dot on her horizon, she lay on her stomach on her beach towel and closed her eyes. It felt good, letting the heat penetrate her bones, warming her from the inside out. Being fair-skinned, she’d put on sunscreen before they’d left, so now she only had to enjoy the weather.

But the intense sunshine had nothing to do with the blush that warmed her cheeks. She could still remember the way it had felt, having Bubba’s lips against hers. Her response had surprised her. Melanie had always listened with a tremendous amount of skepticism to stories of being swept away. It had never happened to her.

But last night…
Last night had opened up a side of her she’d never had any inkling existed. She wasn’t vastly experienced with men. When she’d chosen to be intimate, it had been because of a strong foundation of respect and caring.

But it had never included passion.

Passion.
What had Alicia’s friend said?
He was the most passionate lover.
It was a strange word to associate with Bubba but the more Melanie thought about it, the less strange it seemed. He was passionate about a good many things – his surfing, his construction business, his volleyball competitions, games and sports, their friendship. One of the things she’d always loved about him was that, while Bubba played intensely, he never took sports or games too seriously.

He skims along on the surface. The free spirit again.
She wondered why she’d never put the most obvious facts together. If she’d given it any thought at all, it was obvious why Bubba avoided commitment like the plague.

Melanie could remember the one time, when they were growing up, Bubba had asked her over to his house. She’d been in the sixth grade and had been preparing a report on Mexico. Bubba, a high-school senior, had suggested she use one of his books as a reference.

Later she’d been positive he’d thought either one or both of his parents would be out. When he’d let her inside his house, closing the door carefully behind them, she’d heard shouting from the kitchen.

Bubba’s face had been taut, tense. He’d walked quickly down the hall after asking her to wait in the foyer. When his parents had returned with him they'd been nice. Too nice. Their voices, mannerisms, had been stiff, as if they weren’t used to simply talking with each other.

Even as a child, she’d known. She remembered racing through her research quickly, skimming through the various pages. Bubba had suggested they take the book to the local copy center, where he'd carefully made copies of the various pages and then drove her home.

He’d never asked her over again.

She had looked up to him. While Donnie never had the time or patience to listen to what she was concerned about, Bubba had always been there.

Funny how he always knew how to listen when nobody bothered to listen to him,
  she thought drowsily.

She’d been in the seventh grade when Donnie came home and told the family Bubba’s parents were getting a divorce. As she’d sat at the table and pushed her mashed potatoes around her plate, she’d thought about how she would've felt if her parents had split up.

Donnie had given her Bubba’s number at college and she’d called him. All Melanie had thought about at the time was telling him she was sorry.

Melanie smiled, then rolled over on her beach towel so she could sun her front. What did anyone know in seventh grade?  She’d told Bubba he could be
her
  brother, since she didn’t really care for Donnie. He could share
her
  family.

He’d been quiet on the line for almost a minute. She’d thought he’d hung up before he said softly, “Thanks, Pell-mell. It’s good to know you still think about me.”

“I always think about you,” she’d said honestly. And she had. Feeling sorry for Bubba that year, she’d sent him emails and pictures of her various school exploits and baked cookies for him under her mother’s supervision. His favorite had been snickerdoodles.

Strange how she’d done all those things for Bubba but never for Donnie.

And it’s funny how she could tell Bubba all about her current problem and it never once crossed her mind to call Donnie and confide in him.

She knew what her brother would say, how horrified he would be if she even
suggested
  she become pregnant without the benefit of a marriage license. Donnie was great for doing things one way – his way. And all too often, he still thought of her as his helpless little sister who needed assistance every single step of the way.

Not this time, Donnie,
  she thought, then blinked as she felt a drop of cool ocean water on her stomach.

She opened her eyes, squinting against the bright sunlight. Bubba stood above her, legs spread, grinning down at her. He’d planted his board upright in the sand. As soon as she opened her eyes he squatted down and sat on the edge of her towel.

“The water’s great.” He pushed his wet hair out of his eyes. There was one piece that refused to stay. He pushed at it once more, then let it fall.

“Can I give you a haircut when we get back?” Melanie offered.

“That bad, huh?” He held out his hand. “Take a walk with me before we eat, okay?”

There was something in his tone that suggested he wanted to talk. Melanie took his hand and he stood up and pulled her to her feet.

She followed where he led, which was straight to the water’s edge. On Sunday the beach was crowded. They walked slowly, maneuvering around children and teenagers, surfers, young girls in bikinis, relaxed older people. Melanie waited, sensing Bubba wanted to start the conversation.

They walked for almost five minutes before he said anything. He held her hand and she was surprised to find she liked the feel of him. His fingers were rough, his hands suggested a man who worked with them. She felt safe with Bubba.

All of a sudden Melanie realized this was one of the first days since her visit with her doctor that she hadn’t thought about her problem in a depressing way.

“”It must have been tough right after you found out,” Bubba said.

“It was.” She liked his matter of fact way of bringing her problem out into the open. The few people she’d told had tried to push it away. It was almost as if they’d thought it was catching.

“Why didn’t you tell me right from the beginning?”

She chose her words carefully. “I didn’t tell
anyone
  the first month, Bubba. I just kind of walked around in a daze. I had to think about how I felt about children, whether or not it
did
  make a difference. I mean, I didn’t rush into having children right away after college, so there was still a part of me that had to decide.”

He squeezed her hand and, encouraged, she continued.

“After a month, I knew it was something I wanted. I always thought there was plenty of time to think about a family. But after I talked with the doctor I realized I didn’t have that much. And I thought Phillip was the person I wanted to have children with.”

Bubba surprised her by letting go of her hand and sliding his arm around her shoulders. “That guy should have his head examined for dumping you like that.”

She had to smile. It was so like Bubba to be prejudiced in her favor. “No, we just didn’t want the same things. I can understand it now. I mean, as tough as it was for me to understand, I had to make a big decision quickly. It must have been just as hard for him.”

“I guess you’re right. But it was hard on you, getting rejected like that.”

She was surprised by the words that came out of her mouth. “Not really. In a way, Phillip did me a big favor. It was afterwards, when I wasn’t as upset as I should have been, that I realized I didn’t love him the way I should have.”

“You weren’t upset?”

“Oh, I was, but only for a few days. Then I just picked myself up and decided I had to get on with things.”

Bubba laughed. “You always had a strong streak of independence.”

Melanie twined her fingers through Bubba’s where they were resting on her upper arm. “Someday, baby and all, I’m going to find a man I really love and I’m going to build a life with him.”

Bubba was silent.

Thinking he meant to dispute her plan, Melanie spoke quickly. “I know it’s unfashionable. I know I’m something of a freak, thinking this way in Los Angeles, but I really do believe in romantic love.”

“Eyes meeting across the room and all that?”

“Bubba, don’t make fun of me.”

He squeezed her shoulder. “I wasn’t. You know, I always wanted to experience that, too. I thought maybe if I met a woman who swept me off my feet, maybe I wouldn’t be such a coward.”

“You aren’t a coward.” Melanie was surprised by this revelation. The last thing Bubba would ever be to her was a coward. The summers he was in college he worked as a lifeguard. She’d been on the beach once when he saved a young man from drowning. No coward could've done that.

“I think there are a lot of different ways to be afraid, Mel. I don’t know what it is, but whenever I start to really fall for someone, I push away.”

“Really?”

He grimaced, and she watched as he studied the horizon where the ocean met the sky. “Yeah. Sometimes I disgust myself. The gutless wonder. I mean, Joanie’s a great girl to have fun with, but she’s no threat to my emotions.”

“Bubba, you’ll meet someone someday who won’t let you push away.”

He shook his head. “I doubt it. I make it a practice to avoid those women.” His tone was wistful.

She was silent for a moment, not sure how much she should say. She decided she could risk it. “It doesn’t have to be the way it was with your parents, Bubba. My mom and dad have been married for thirty-seven years and I know they’re still happy.”

“I used to love to watch the way they were with each other. I’ve always been glad I was able to see the good side of marriage and not just my parents.”

“Do you still see them?”

“I had dinner with Mom last week. They really are happier apart. I used to feel so damn guilty. I was positive they were together just for my sake. When they got divorced my first year in college, I was sure of it.”

They walked along the shore, comfortable in the silence between them. Melanie thought back to their childhood. No wonder Bubba had been such an outdoors person. Anything was preferable to going home.

“What did you pack in that basket?”

His question made her come back to the present with a start. “Just stuff I picked up from the deli. Sandwiches, chips and some of the lemon cake I baked Friday.” Baking was a passion with Melanie. She liked to surprise her friends with unusual birthday cakes.