Bachelor Number Four (9 page)

Arden shook herself to get rid of the languorous lethargy that had overtaken her. If she was going to have sex with someone, it had to be with someone she really wanted to be with, or else the experience would be no better than if she went out and hired a male prostitute. Having sex with the knowledge it wasn’t going to lead to a relationship was one thing. Fucking a willing partner who was trying to help her out while she wished he was someone else was something else altogether.

Hand on the newel post, she let her eyes turn toward the office, where the soft glow of the computer monitor lit the kitchen. As though hypnotized, her feet carried her in that direction.

It’s late. You’re tired
, she admonished herself, but continued walking.
There’s nothing there that can’t wait until tomorrow
…but she kept going.

She clicked the mouse to get rid of the screen saver and opened up her mail program. Three new messages. She refused to let hope make her heart pound faster, but she clicked on her inbox.

The first two were advertisements.

The third was from Connex.

The smile on her face didn’t seem out of place as she slid into her office chair. She’d been waiting for him to reply. She logged in to her account and clicked on the message. No subject. No salutation, no signature. Four words that slammed lust into her so hard her breath left her in an audible whoosh and her fingers clenched on the mouse so hard it fell, dangling by its cord, off the mousepad.

You looked good tonight.

It had been him, there in the corner, that ghost, that phantom from her past. She reached for the mouse and settled it back on top of Keanu’s sunglass-covered eyes. Before she could respond to the message, the Connex chat button blinked.

Someone was messaging her, and it could only be one person.

erectorset1241: That was you at the Cadillac Grille, wasn’t it?

shesewsbuttons: That was me.
She paused before typing again.
I thought that was you, but I wasn’t sure.

erectorset1241: Your picture didn’t lie. You haven’t changed.

shesewsbuttons: Neither have you.

She waited for him to write something else. Nothing. Her heartbeat had just begun to slow and her hands stop shaking when the next words appeared in the small message window.

erectorset1241: Your husband is a lucky man.

Her husband? Arden shook her head, brow furrowed, then realized. Shane thought Philip was her husband. And why wouldn’t he? He’d never met Jason. Had no idea Jason had died. She hadn’t changed her Connex status to “widow” or even “single”, and there were no photos beyond the one she used as her avatar. And how like Shane to send her a provocative email and follow it up with a latenight IM, even though he thought he’d just seen her with her husband. Typically arrogant and bold…but damn, so very, very sexy.

shesewsbuttons: That wasn’t my husband.

The blinking cursor mocked her. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard as she prepared to tell him she’d been on a date, but he replied before she had the chance.

erectorset1241: I thought you didn’t cheat.

She scowled and sat back, staring at the screen. He was trying to be witty, she could guess that, but also had no trouble imagining the undercurrent of truth to his words. She thought of their last exchange, a heated volley of words that had left her shaking with the same sort of anger she felt now.

I wasn’t sneaking around
, she typed back so fiercely she misspelled sneaking twice before she got it right.
I was on a date.

Then a moment later:
Divorced?

“Wouldn’t you love to hear that?” she muttered. Tears stung her eyes and the computer screen blurred for a moment.

shesewsbuttons: My husband died.

There. In black-and-white, the words looked harsher than if she’d said them quietly, or shouted them. Written that way, there could be no other way to say it. Died. Dead. She was a widow.

She imagined him squirming in his chair, embarrassed at his faux pas, but knew that was a false picture. He wouldn’t care if he’d put his foot in his mouth. Not Shane Donner, cool as ice, smooth as silk.

erectorset1241: I’m sorry. I didn’t know.

Sorry? Arden rubbed her mouth, which wanted to frown, and scrubbed her eyes, which still wanted to cry. That was unexpected. Her anger faded. He couldn’t have known about Jason.

shesewsbuttons: Lymphoma. Almost two years ago.

erectorset1241: I’m sorry.

shesewsbuttons: Me too.

He didn’t reply for so long she thought he’d signed off. Just before she pushed her chair away and started up to bed, the next message came up.

erectorset1241: You were on a date?

shesewsbuttons: Yes.

erectorset1241: Your boyfriend?

shesewsbuttons: No. Just a date. Our first one.

erectorset1241: You looked pretty cozy.

She blushed, feeling the heat painting her cheeks. She refused to let him make her feel that way. She typed without censoring herself.

shesewsbuttons: My friend Lida set us up. She thought it would be good for me to get laid.

erectorset1241: !

That single exclamation point said more than a paragraph could have. Arden laughed, imagining his face. She’d shocked him. A first.

erectorset1241: You should have called me.

shesewsbuttons: I don’t have your number.

Oops, that was a little lie. She did have his number, right there on his Connex page. But she wasn’t angry anymore. She was itchy again, anticipating how he’d respond. What he’d say. How he’d flirt.

erectorset1241: You could have emailed me.

shesewsbuttons: Oh, right. What should I have said? Hi, Shane, how are you? Want to come over and fuck?

She sat back and watched the screen, aware her breath was coming faster and her throat was dry with anticipation. She’d taken a step she wasn’t sure she was ready for, but somehow typing words on a screen seemed less scary than saying them in person. Than in actually having a man in front of her, ready to get her naked, ready to have sex.

erectorset1241: I’d have been there in ten minutes.

She laughed, both horny and amused. It was a familiar feeling, but one she hadn’t felt in a long time. She remembered all at once that was how she’d often felt with him. Horny and amused, or horny and angry. But always horny.

shesewsbuttons: Sure you would have. You don’t even know where I live.

erectorset1241: If you asked me to come there and fuck you, I’d find it. All you have to do is ask.

But she couldn’t do that, could she? Nervousness assailed her, along with a memory so vivid it made her clench her thighs together in a sudden spasm. She thought of the time she’d gone to his apartment, meaning only to drop off a couple of videos she’d borrowed. The second she walked in the door, he’d pushed her up against the wall, been inside her in minutes, made her come hard, twice, before even saying hello.

shesewsbuttons: I can’t do that.

erectorset1241: Because we didn’t go on a date?

Because w
—

She stopped. Because why? What excuse could she give? She’d been ready to go to bed with Philip, who she barely knew, just to get laid and get it out of her system. Yet she balked at the thought of having Shane come over, the man she knew could send her to the stars. Someone she knew.

Because there’s too much between us
, she typed, but didn’t hit Send. There was too much history. Too much angst.

erectorset1241: Arden?

shesewsbuttons: I’m here.

erectorset1241: Do you want me to come over?

shesewsbuttons: No.

erectorset1241: You’re lying.

She
was
lying, but picturing the smug grin on his face as he sat in front of his computer didn’t make her feel better. For one instant she hovered her cursor over the exit button, ready to turn off the chat before she got herself into more trouble.

erectorset1241: You still there?

Her fingers moved on their own, typing before she could stop herself.
Yes. I’m here.

erectorset1241: You sure you don’t want me to come over?

Yes.
But she wasn’t sure, was she?

erectorset1241: Do you want to come?

Not come over. Come. She shivered at his play on words, so blatant and impossible to ignore when they blinked at her in stark black and white.

erectorset1241: Do you still make that sound?

She gasped. Her clit spasmed, her nipples became hard as stones. Her hand went to her heart to hold it inside her chest, convinced it was going to fly right out. That sound. She knew the one he meant, of course, was as familiar with it as she was with the sound of her laughter.

He knew just how to work her. He didn’t give her time to respond, just continued.

erectorset1241: I’d like to hear it again.

You can’t hear through the computer
, she typed, knowing that was a lame retort, but unable to come up with anything better.

erectorset1241: I can imagine it.

shesewsbuttons: This is silly.

erectorset1241: You’ve never had cybersex?

She laughed again, hovering now on the edge of hysterical laughter. He was good at that. Keeping her on the edge.

shesewsbuttons: No.

erectorset1241: Want to?

shesewsbuttons: With you?

erectorset1241: No, with George Bush.

shesewsbuttons: I don’t know how.

erectorset1241: Easy. Just touch yourself and pretend it’s me.

Well, she’d done that often enough, even recently. Her blush got hotter, but her fingers flew over the keys.
Are you pretending I’m touching you?

erectorset1241: Yes.

That simple declaration made the breath leave her again, as she imagined him stroking himself.

He continued before she could reply.

erectorset1241: I have my cock in my hand, and I’m pretending it’s in your mouth.

She should be offended, taken aback, but the only response she could muster was a low, soft moan.

erectorset1241: I’m thinking about you on your knees in front of me.

Oh, mercy. She was thinking about that too.

shesewsbuttons: And then what?

Arden crossed her legs and scooted in the chair until her clit rubbed up against her panties. She’d learned long ago that if she rocked her hips in just the right way, she could come without having to touch herself. She needed both hands free to type, and this way she could more easily imagine Shane’s hands on her body, rather than her own.

erectorset1241: Then I push you back. We’re on a bed. I get down between your kne—

A pause, and she smiled while she pushed her hips back and forth, watching the screen. He must be having the same problem, trying to type with one hand.

And I lick you
, he finished.

Bold. Blunt. Just like Shane. Arden swallowed, hard.
That feels good. And then you slide up, over my body, and you put yourself inside me.

She should feel ridiculous or shameful, typing such things to a man who was nearly a stranger. Instead, she felt empowered. In control. The computer gave her the anonymity she needed, the freedom to let go.

A random pattern of letters appeared on her screen, followed by,
Sorry. I can’t type and jerk off at the same time.

She laughed, throwing back her head.

shesewsbuttons: Maybe we should stop.

erectorset1241: I can’t stop now, woman. I’ll explode.

Then why don’t you type and I’ll read?
She was certain that one-sided treat would be denied her.

erectorset1241: Ok. I want to make you come.

shesewsbuttons: And what about you?

A smiley icon appeared.
I’ll take care of myself after.

shesewsbuttons: How chivalrous.

erectorset1241: Where were we? Oh, yeah. I was fucking you.

Yes.
She sat back and watched his seduction fill the screen, while she touched herself and pretended it was him.

erectorset1241: I move in and out of you for a minute or two, but I’m too close to coming and I want to hold off. So I ease out of you and go back down. I kiss your stomach. Your thighs. And then, slowly, because I know that’s what you like, I lick your clit. I can hear you moan. You taste like sex and I love it. I put a finger inside you, then another one, and you jump and your moans get louder.

They were getting louder. Who knew he’d be so descriptive? He’d never talked this much to her. Maybe the years had changed him, or the barrier of the computer gave him courage he’d lacked before.

erectorset1241: I’m going to lick you until you come, Arden.

Almost there,
she managed to type as her body shuddered. She wanted to close her eyes, but couldn’t miss what he would write next.

erectorset1241: Are you coming?

She pressed the palm of her hand against her center and held it there while her clit beat. She moved. Stars flashed in front of her eyes. She was going over.