Bachelor Number Four (10 page)

shesewsbuttons: Yes.

erectorset1241: I want you to close your eyes and imagine me inside you when you do. Do it now. Come, while you pretend I’m fucking you.

She should not find the command sexy, but oh, heaven help her, she did. She was too far gone to hold back now, no thoughts of embarrassment or ridicule could stop her. This was better than being alone with her vibrator or her showerhead. Though it was still her own hand, it was almost like he was there.

She closed her eyes and rocked against her hand, thinking of his cock, the length and girth she could still remember after all these years. She thought of his scent, and yes, oh, God, yes, the taste of him. She thought of the sound he made at climax, a half-moan, half-garbled exclamation that had never failed to arouse her.

She came, hand clutching the top of her desk so hard her fingers went numb. For one dizzy instant her head spun, but after a few deep breaths, she got her equilibrium back. She opened her eyes to find Shane’s message waiting for her.

erectorset1241: Was it as good for you as it was for me?

She couldn’t type any other answer but
Yes.

erectorset1241: Good.

Arden squinted at the clock, noting the late hour, but was feeling too replete to get out of her chair. Besides, what was the protocol here? Share a cyber smoke? Embarrassment tried to edge into her emotions, but she fought it off. People did worse things all the time, and really, was it worse to be alone in her bed with her butterfly, or coming in front of the computer screen? At least she had a partner. She hadn’t been laid like Lida wanted, but at least she had a partner.

erectorset1241: Can I call you?

She knew it was impossible to judge tone of voice or body language through written text, which was why there was so much miscommunication on the Internet when people tried to joke. She didn’t get the sense he was joking. Instead, an image of Shane hunched over his keyboard, eyes burning a hole in the screen while he waited for her reply, leaped into her mind.

She wanted to say yes. She ought to say no. Arden put her hands to the keyboard, but didn’t know what to type. If she said yes, and he didn’t call, she’d feel like the worst sort of ass. If she said no after what they’d just done…

She took the easier way out.

shesewsbuttons: I don’t think so.

With a beep, the computer told her he’d signed off. Just like that, gone. Not another word, like because he didn’t get what he wanted, he stomped off in a huff.

“Typical!” Arden closed down the browser window so there’d be no more surprises waiting for her. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at her desktop wallpaper. “Can you believe that jerk?”

Keanu said nothing, just gave her a knowing look from under his inscrutable black sunglasses.

“Should I have said yes?”

Arden sighed and got up from her chair. Her entire body felt languid and luxurious…like she’d just had fantastic sex. Well, hadn’t she?

Chapter Seven

“How’d it go?”

Arden rolled over to look at the clock, phone clutched in one hand, while she swiped at her eyes with the other. “Gah.”

“That good?”

“Lida, it’s too early to talk.”

“Up late, huh?”

She couldn’t bear to break Lida’s excited bubble, but she’d never lied to her friend and she wasn’t about to start now. “I didn’t do it with him.”

Silence. “No?”

“No. Really. We had a great time, and I thought I wanted to…”Arden sighed. “But then I didn’t. It’s complicated.”

Lida made a clucking sound. “I know, hon. But you had a good time?”

“Yes. Definitely.”

“And you’ll go out with him again?”

Arden smiled as she snuggled down further into the pillows. “I think so. Maybe.”

Lida crowed so loudly Arden had to hold the phone away from her ear. “You liked him!”

“I liked him.”

“But…?”

“But nothing.” She looked at the clock again. “Listen, Bev and my dad are bringing the kids over in about two hours, and I have a lot of work I need to catch up on before then. Can I call you later?”

Lida made a disappointed noise. “Okay. You working tomorrow?”

“Bright and early, as usual. The girls will be in school and out from under my feet.” Sudden melancholy overtook her. “I didn’t mean that. I love my girls.”

“I know what you meant, Arden. You don’t have to explain it to me. I’ve got a truckload of the angel-monsters myself, remember?” Lida gave a low, hoarse chuckle. “And speaking of them, I hear Danny pounding on Henry pretty hard. I’d better go referee. I’ll stop in tomorrow, okay?”

They hung up and Arden pulled the covers up to her nose, reliving last night. Had that really happened? Had she really had cybersex with Shane? Oh, good gravy. She really had.

She couldn’t stop smiling.

It was wrong. But it felt oh, so good. Decadent, like eating the entire box of Godiva by herself, only without the damage to her thighs.

She stretched and yawned, luxuriating in the soft bed and warm covers. She reached out a hand to the empty space beside her. For the first time since Jason’s death, she didn’t want to weep at the vast expanse in the king-size bed beside her. She rolled over to look at the place he’d always slept, at the extra pillow she hadn’t been able to bear removing, though she never used it.

She’d turned a corner. Maybe not in a way everyone would approve of, but her date last night and the session on the computer had done more than ease the sexual frustration she’d been trying to ignore. It had opened her up to starting fresh.

“Good morning,” she said aloud, to nobody, and didn’t feel sad that she spoke to an empty room.

Her breakfast of bagel and coffee interrupted by the slamming of the front door, Arden put down the thick Sunday paper and turned in her chair toward the sound of pounding feet. Two shouting voices greeted her. Four small arms flung themselves around her. Two sets of sweet pink lips fought to kiss her cheeks first.

“Hello, my lovelies,” she said in what the girls called her pirate voice. She squeezed them until they screamed, then swatted them on the rears and sent them to the cupboard for the doughnuts she’d brought home from the bakery. “Hi, Bev. Where’s Dad?”

Bev gave one of her patented eye rolls. “Worn out from those two.” She jerked her thumb toward the powdered-sugar-smeared Aislin and Maeve, who giggled. “They kept us up all night.”

Arden turned to give a mock stern look. “Did you really?”

“Yes!” cried Aislin.

Her sister answered, “Yes, Mommy, we did.”

Bev nodded with a wry grin. “They sure did. All the way to ten P.M.”

“Is ten P.M. all night, Mommy?” asked Aislin, the serious one.

“For Grampa, it is,” Arden replied. She glanced into the living room, freshly vacuumed and tidied. Ah, well, life was short. “Why don’t you girls go into the living room with your doughnuts and watch some cartoons while I talk to Gran?”

The look her daughters gave each other was absolutely priceless. With identical grins, they took her up on the offer and went to camp out in front of the cartoon channel.

Bev helped herself to a cup of coffee and sat down, then snagged a doughnut for herself. “So? How was it?”

Arden laughed and shook her head. “You and Lida, I swear. The third degree. It was very nice.”

Bev gave an exaggerated stare around the kitchen. “Is he still here?”

“
No!
” Then, softer, with a glance toward the girls, Arden said, “No. Of course not.”

Bev chuckled. “Oh honey, your cheeks are bright red. Did he at least give you a good-night kiss?”

A flashback of Philip’s tongue in her mouth and his hand on her breast made Arden get up to refresh her still-full mug. “Yes.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

“If he asks.” Arden looked at Bev. “It was fun to get out. I’d forgotten how much fun it was.”

She gave another glance to her sweet angel-monsters. A guilty glance, this time. “It was nice to get out without the girls.”

Bev nodded. “I know. Those girls are your life. Anyone who knows you can see that. Don’t let it upset you that you went out and had a good time without them.”

Arden sighed. “I’m all they have left.”

“Oh honey.” Bev reached around to hug her. “Even if Jason were still alive, you’d want to have some time to yourself once in a while. Being a single parent isn’t easy.”

“At least I have you and Dad. The girls love going with you.”

“And we love having them.” Bev patted Arden’s shoulder before pulling away. “Don’t you ever worry about that. You need to take time for yourself, Arden, or you won’t be good to anyone. You’re a good mom, honey. Your daughters love you. Don’t feel bad because you went out on a date.”

“It’s a lot to think about, Bev. Dating. A boyfriend. Maybe getting married again. How’d you do it?”

“When I met your dad, I had no choice.” Bev grinned. “Fell in love. It happens.”

Arden looked to her girls again. “I’m not sure if I’m ready for anything like that.”

“Don’t worry,” Bev said. “If it happens for you, you will be.”

“So, are you going to go out with him?”

“Lida, I don’t know.” Arden bit off the thread and shook out the skirt she’d been working on. The silky material fell in soft silver folds to the floor. “This fabric costs twenty-five dollars a yard. I can’t afford to mess up.”

“You’re avoiding the subject.” Lida plucked a dress off the rack and held it up in front of her. “Your talent is wasted with stuff like this, you know.”

“My talent, as you put it, is in taking the jobs I’m offered.” Arden looked at the ruffled and sequined monstrosity Lida was now hanging back on the rack. “Even if it’s a fashion nightmare, that’s what the girl wanted for her Homecoming dress. She wanted to be the only one wearing it.”

“She will be.”

Arden laughed and rolled her neck on her shoulders, then scrubbed at her eyes. She’d been up late again, working on the computer. Fooling around on the computer, she amended mentally. Waiting for a message that never came.

“So are you going to go out with him or not?”

Arden sighed and looked up. “He asked me out again. I said I was busy. He said he’d call back. He hasn’t. He probably won’t. Does that make you happy?”

“No! Why’d you do that?” Lida’s level stare made Arden squirm. “He goes out with other women. I saw him last night at The Fenwick with Babs Stanley.”

“He was?” Realizing she sounded jealous, Arden modified her tone. “He’s allowed.”

Lida put her hands on her hips. “Babs Peanut-butter-legs Stanley, Arden!”

“Peanut butter legs?”

“They’re easy to spread,” Lida explained and made a crude gesture. “He’s not dating her. He’s—”

“That’s Philip’s business, not mine.” She couldn’t very well say anything, could she? Not after what she’d done with Shane. Okay, so computer sex wasn’t real, but it was close enough.

“And that doesn’t bother you?” Lida sounded so affronted, Arden got up from the sewing machine to sit next to her friend.

“Philip really was everything you promised me he’d be. We did hit it off. And I almost did it. I almost slept with him. I wanted to. Just not bad enough.”

“Damn us women and our tender hearts,” Lida grouched, propping her feet on Arden’s filing cabinet. “It’s not fair that men can go out and sow their wild oats and we can’t.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind. Dating Philip was good for me, even if we didn’t have sex.”

Lida raised a cynical eyebrow. “Oh, really?”

Arden laughed, feeling self-conscious. “Yes. Really.”

“But you won’t go on a date with Shane Donner.”

Arden snorted. “He hasn’t asked.”

“But what if he does?”

“Oh Lida, he won’t.”

Lida frowned. “How can you be so sure?”

Arden quickly told her about what had happened with her and Shane. Lida’s eyes grew wide and wider, until finally she put her hand over them. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“No. I wish I were.”

That made Lida put her hand down. “No, you don’t.”

Arden laughed, but the chuckle trailed into a sigh. “No, I guess I don’t. But I do.”

“Gotcha.” Lida shook her head. “I don’t envy you, hon. So what’re you going to do?”

That was an easier question to answer. “Nothing,” Arden replied in a tone that refused argument, and turned back to her sewing.

Chapter Eight

Aislin and Maeve had gone to spend the night with friends, a new arrangement Arden hadn’t expected to bother her so much. Sending them to stay with Gran and Grampy was one thing…but sleepovers had opened up an entire new world. Her girls really were growing up.

She’d showered and dressed in a worn sleepshirt, left her hair tangled and damp, and come downstairs to watch a movie. When the phone rang, it sounded so loud in the empty house that she jumped and spilled her popcorn all over the floor.

The voice on the other end made her spill her soda too.

Arden took a breath, ignoring the mess on the floor for the moment. “I didn’t think you’d call me.”

Silence reigned for a brief moment, in which she heard the sound of his breathing. “Why not?”

Arden sighed. “Do you need me to spell it out for you, Shane?”

“I guess I do.” He sounded the way he always did, cocky and self-assured, but the tone didn’t match his words. “Go ahead and tell me why you thought I wouldn’t call you.”

“I thought after our last conversation—”

“What are you wearing?”

Arden held the phone away from her ear for a moment in shock. “What?”

Shane’s voice shifted. Got a little deeper and, heaven help her, sexier. “What are you wearing?”

She looked down at her oversized cotton T-shirt. Her wet hair had dampened the shoulders and the material clung to her breasts from her wetness underneath. She wore nothing else.

“Why do you ask?”

“I’m imagining you in black lace and high heels. Garter belt and stockings. Red lipstick. Black sunglasses.”

His words set her heart pounding. He knew how to work her, all right, especially since she’d once worn an outfit exactly like that for him. But he also knew how to add just that touch of incongruity that would make her ask: “Sunglasses?”