Back for Seconds (28 page)

“But why?” Joely wanted to know.

Christopher turned to Mason, who had tears running down his cheeks. He reached for his hand, which he clasped while he tried to compose himself. “Like we said, Lilah was very sick. None of the conventional medicines were working. There was a point when we just figured it was a matter of time for the cancer to ravage her body. She couldn’t eat. She was in pain constantly. You’re a parent. You know how devastating that can be. You feel helpless. Desperate. To feel like we were doing something at least, we researched everything we could find on the subject and the topic of medicinal cannabis came up. We figured that two things would happen. It would help her fight the illness, or it would make the illness easier to bear. It ended up doing both.”

“We would have moved to a state where it was legal to obtain, but by then our debt was out of control,” Mason said. “We couldn’t afford to move, but we couldn’t just watch Lilah suffer. So we made it work the only way we knew how.” He glanced at Xander, who had been listening quietly to their story. “Am I going to get fired?” It was an important question to ask, considering that they were still crawling out from under the debt. It was the thing that scared him most, aside from being arrested for providing medicine to his child.

Xander sighed. “Lillian’s Place has no firm drug policy,” he stated simply. “As long as it doesn’t affect your job, it’s none of my business.” Of course it still made him complicit to their crime, but to Xander the greater crime would be losing yet another child to that bastard, cancer.

Mason couldn’t help himself as he threw his arms around Xander. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Xander nodded as he pulled away. He glanced at Joely. There was one little issue left: would she still let Lilah and Hannah hang out together?

“Of course they can still be friends,” she said at once, putting them all at ease. She hugged both Christopher and Mason, who held onto her tightly. Other than Christopher’s mother, no one knew about their painful secret. It was just too risky.

She did warn them to be much more careful. Despite what they had done for their daughter, she did not want Hannah exposed. They both nodded. They understood. Had Lilah not been at death’s door that would have been their preference as well.

For Joely, however, she decided to do a clean sweep of the children’s rooms, just to make sure nothing else had gotten past her. She started with Hannah’s room, but that one bottle had been the only contraband hidden by her five-year-old. She found some pornography in Nash’s room, which broke her heart. In her mind he was still her little boy. She didn’t want to think about him doing things like that. But she replaced the materials back where she found them. That was a battle for another day.

Finally she went into Kari’s room. It was a pig-sty, which made it a little more challenging to search. Finally Joely landed in the middle of the strewn clothing with a sigh. She had no idea what she was looking for anymore. Bottles of booze? Joints? Cigarettes?

Her eyes finally fell on Kari’s diary, which was hidden under her bed. She pursed her lips as she contemplated reading it. It seemed like such a violation of privacy, one that Kari hadn’t really even earned with bad behavior. In fact, she’d been on her best behavior for months. But the longer she stared at that diary, the more she wondered what it was about her children she didn’t know. Hannah had been keeping a bottle of cannabis extract. Nash had a stack of porn. What was Kari hiding?

She finally reached for the book and opened it, flipping through the pages. She wouldn’t read it, she reasoned, she’d just scan for keywords that might justify further investigation.

There was only one word that hit her radar: Xander.

With a sinking feeling in her gut, Joely read Kari’s entries, where she declared her love for Xander Davy on almost every line on every page. There were also detailed fantasies, which startled Joely how detailed and mature they were. There were dreams and plans, all based on the premise that Xander was crazy about her too, he just didn’t know how to show it yet.

“
He hugged me again today. He holds me a little longer each time. Can he feel how much I want him
?”

“
I caught him staring at me today when he thought I wasn’t looking. I love that look in his eyes that he gets whenever he’s thinking too long. I have to wonder… is he thinking about me?
”

“
The girls at AHS actually like me now, but mostly because they think I have a rich, hot, older boyfriend. I can’t tell them the truth. They’ll just make my life hell all over again. Besides, it could be true. Couldn’t it
?”

“
Dad wants me to convince mom to move back home. But how can I? Xander is my reason for living. If I lose him now, I know I’ll just die
.”

Joely slammed the book shut. Tears streamed down her face as she realized how badly she had misread everything that had been happening right under her nose for months. Kari was in love at last… with a man that Joely had been seeing on the sly. How unbelievably, incredibly, horrifically complicated. There was no way that they could come clean about their relationship now without risking sending Kari off into another tailspin so soon after her peaceful life in Fairway Oaks had imploded.

She may have been falling head over heels for Xander Davy… but no man was worth her kids.

Joely put the diary back where it was and left the room with her shoulders hunched low. Two dreams died that day, and no one but Joely knew it.

The following week was one of the longest of Joely’s life. She still wasn’t feeling 100 percent, and used that as an excuse to avoid much time with Xander throughout the week. He was puzzled but he didn’t press her. She wouldn’t have known what to tell him if he asked anyway. Now that she knew about Kari’s crush, she saw evidence of it everywhere. Every lingering glance, every shy giggle and the way a blush would rise in Kari’s cheeks whenever Xander stood near.

She wondered if her own crush on the man was as easy to read. Somehow Kari had missed that, probably because she thought her mother was much too old for him. At twenty-seven, he was almost dead center between the two of them age-wise, eleven years older than Kari and thirteen years younger than Joely.

It was yet another stark reminder how ridiculous the whole thing was. Joely was having fun with Xander. It was sexy and exciting. But it wasn’t like it could last.

“Why not?” Novanna had asked her when she cried on her shoulder about it.

Joely shook her head. “He’s much too young. We’re just at two different points in our lives. When he falls in love, it’ll be with someone he can start a life with, have babies with, grow old with. I’m practically halfway in the grave as it is.”

“Oh please,” Novi scoffed. “You’re as young as you feel.”

“That’s just something we old people say,” Joely rebutted, and Novi rewarded her with a stern side-eye glare. “And now this thing with Kari. She’s fallen head over heels in love with him.”

“That’s a crush,” Novanna dismissed. “She’s fifteen. Do you remember falling in love at fifteen?”

Joely nodded. “His name was Scott Lindsey. He was a senior. I was a freshman. He was beautiful and funny; he always made every girl feel like a super star. I fell hard and fast for him, but he didn’t even know I was alive. It hurt so bad I didn’t know if I’d ever get over it.”

“And then you did,” Novanna said. “We’ve all been there, Joely. Mine was Stuart Perry. He was my history professor,” she added with a naughty smile. “I almost wanted to fail his class just to take it again the next year.”

“See? We remember these things. Can you imagine the amount of therapy she’s going to need if she finds out the first man she’s ever loved is fooling around with her mother?”

“So end it,” her friend suggested with a shrug. “If it’s all fun and games anyway, what does it matter?”

That was the big question. Joely knew she should end this ill-advised but completely sexy star-crossed affair, she just didn’t want to. She had come alive in ways she never expected. She felt young and sexy and unstoppable, and she knew that was largely because of Xander. She was just as dreamy-eyed about him as Kari was. If she had a diary, entries about him would have been found on every single page. She dreamed about him the six hours of sleep she managed to get per night. She daydreamed about him the other eighteen she was upright and conscious during the day.

When her segment was broadcast on Tisha’s show that Thursday morning, she became an instant media darling. The video where she taught a clueless, bumbling Tish how to decorate one of her special cookies went viral. By the time she arrived at the restaurant, just an hour after it aired, she was met with thunderous applause and at least a dozen custom orders. Her inbox on Xander’s desk filled to overflowing by afternoon, which meant her kid-free weekend was going to be spent in the kitchen trying to manage it all on her own.

It was a blessing in disguise. With her heavy workload, Xander wouldn’t press her for any sexy alone time. His mantra had always been that work came first. It gave her a little more time to figure out what she was going to do with the baffling situation.

Russell picked up the kids at the restaurant that afternoon. Joely barely had time to peak out of the kitchen and send them on their way. She had at least eight more hours of work ahead of her. She didn’t even stop to eat dinner.

She was nearly asleep on her feet as she pulled the last batch of cookies from the oven just after midnight, nodding off several times atop her stool as she waited for them to cool so she could frost them. She decided to wait until morning to decorate them. She just needed a cat nap to refresh herself and she’d be back again by six o’clock. She cleaned everything away, grabbed her things and headed through the swinging door to the dining room.

She was stopped in her tracks when she realized the whole place was aglow with candlelight. The center table was covered with a satiny white tablecloth, covered in deep red rose petals. A champagne bottle sat in a silver bucket of ice, right in the center of a table setting for two.

“Madame,” a sensual British accent whispered near her ear. She whipped around to face Xander, who wore a cheeky grin. He took her hand, the one crusted in dried flour and icing, and brought it to his lips. “I’ve prepared the finest table in the house.”

“Xander,” she said softly, with a slight shake of her head.

He accepted no argument as he pulled her towards the table. He pulled out a seat in front of a plate full of her favorite food.

“When did you do this?” she asked as she sat, suddenly ravenous.

“You’re not the only one who was hard at work all night,” he grinned as he scooted her chair closer to the table. After he sat, he uncorked the chilled bottle of champagne. “It’s our time to celebrate.
Back for Seconds
has officially launched and is a huge success.” He poured them both a glass before he held one up to toast. “Mazel tov.”

She sipped the bubbly tart liquid. “Thank you,” she said. “For everything. I wouldn’t be here without you.”

He shrugged off the praise. “I had the easy job. It’s no trick to sell something amazing. And that’s what you are, you know.”

The candlelight sparkled in those beautiful eyes. It made Joely’s stomach plummet to her toes. It was everything she had ever wanted to hear, and yet it was the worst possible time to hear it. She glanced back down into her glass.

With a click of a remote, he turned on the overhead speaker system. The sensual sounds of Chris Isaak filled the place. Her eyes met Xander’s, who watched her in the low light as he drank from his glass. Wordlessly, he placed his glass on the table, rose from his chair and held out his hand to her. The look in his eyes demanded that she submit to him, which was what she wanted to do more than anything.

Her hand slipped into his and he pulled her from the table into his arms. She gasped as their bodies made contact, the first in a week, since she had learned about Kari’s crush. And yet she couldn’t think about Kari. Her brain scrambled as his hand trailed down her back to rest along the base of her spine as they danced. His eyes kept her captive as they swayed to the music. When his head bent towards hers, she couldn’t stop him even if she had wanted to. Her lips parted with a slight gasp when his mouth covered hers. Her arms closed around his neck as he pulled her closer with a hunger that would not be denied.

When they finally broke apart, they were both breathless. “We should eat,” he told her in that gruff bedroom voice of his that made her nerve-endings vibrate. She nodded and slipped gratefully back into her chair. He had made her so weak in the knees she could hardly stand. He didn’t even have to touch her. The possessive look in his eyes was enough. It made no rational sense but she wanted to belong to this man. She hid behind bites of comfort food she knew in an instant were prepared by her Granny Faye.

“Apparently you were in cahoots with everybody to pull off this little stunt,” she grinned.

“Guilty,” he answered without one speck of remorse. “We all knew you wouldn’t take ten minutes to feed yourself while you worked. You really should take better care of yourself, Joely. In the midst of taking care of everyone else, you have to keep yourself on the list somewhere.”

She shrugged. “That’s being a mom.”

“That’s being a martyr,” he corrected. “And they burn martyrs at the stake. Not necessarily a fate I want to see befall you.”

She kept it to herself that there was no way to avoid it at this point. Just being with him now felt like a betrayal to her daughter.

“Besides,” he said. “No one can face the executioner yet. We have plenty of celebrations to plan. Just this month alone we have Kari’s birthday and Thanksgiving, which will kick off the holiday season. I’ve never spent Christmas around kids before. This should be a lot of fun. I’ve already bought a closet-full of presents, I’m afraid.”

Her heart fell. He wasn’t going to make this easy on her. Just as she opened her mouth to say something – anything – he continued.

“Speaking of Kari’s birthday, I have things all set up for the festivities. We arrive after the zoo closes for the day, which gives us four hours for a private party. Should set the stage for a Wild Sweet Sixteen.”

Her eyes met his. “Not sure if ‘wild’ is the tone I want to set for her sixteenth birthday.”

He chuckled. “Kari’s a good kid. I don’t think you have anything to worry about. She’s responsible, hard-working. She’s not even boy-crazed as far as I can tell.”

She studied him for a moment. Was he really that clueless? “Actually there is an older boy she’s got her eye on,” she told him.

“Invite him,” Xander said between bites. “And if I think he’s trouble, we can toss him in with the alligators.”

It was meant as a joke but Joely didn’t laugh. “I’m pretty sure he’s not interested. It’s a crush by every definition, I’m afraid.”

“Poor kid,” he said with a frown. “Those are tough to get over.”

“You remember yours?”

“Are you kidding? My sister, Imogen, is five years older than me. I was lusting over her friends from the time I hit puberty. I fell in and out of love on the regular.”

“Was there anyone special, though? Someone you thought for sure was ‘the one’?”

He sat back as he thought about it. “Her best friend was this gorgeous redhead who had developed early. All the right curves in all the right places, enough to make a fifteen-year-old boy cry. So naturally I wanted her to be my first. I convinced myself that we were destined to be together, even though she was already off in college, dating grown men, when I was nothing more than an awkward schoolboy.”

She had to grin. She couldn’t imagine Xander as an awkward anything. “So what happened?”

He laughed. “She spent the holiday at our house, so I thought that this was my big chance. I snatched a bottle of booze from my dad’s liquor cabinet. I shaved when I had but one chin hair. I think I even did my hair, I don’t know. It was completely ridiculous. I ambushed her when she came out of the bathroom one night, coming on to her with all my best moves, and my voice cracked right as I asked her to join me to my bedroom.”

“Oh no,” Joely groaned as she laughed.

“Right?” he said, chuckling himself. “But that’s what our adolescence is for, isn’t it? We get to blunder and grope and feel our way around and no one really judges us for it because we’re just kids. She was nice about it, so there was that.”

“Mine never even knew I was alive,” she admitted. “I think that hurts worse. You feel like you’re invisible.”

“You’re not invisible anymore,” he assured her.

She thought about the orders piling up in her inbox. “Tell me about it.”

“It’s a good thing, right?”

“It’s great,” she answered immediately. “At this rate I’ll have a place of my own in no time.”

“Have you given any thought to where that might be?”

“Nothing serious. I’ve gotten into the habit of seeing my life three months ahead and no further. Kari wants us to find something near the restaurant, but it seems silly to plan something permanent on something so temporary. If all goes according to plan, I’ll have my own storefront by the end of next year, and who knows where that will be?” She thought about the empty storefront at the mall with a pang of yearning. The more she thought about it, the more she wanted it. In fact, the only thing that competed with her daydreams of Xander these days were her daydreams of what
Back for Seconds
could become.

“Who knows?” he agreed before he put his napkin on his plate. “You finish your meal. I need to clean up all the evidence of our clandestine affair,” he added with another grin.

She watched as he carefully extinguished all the candles except for the one on their table. He cleaned away his dish and the champagne, after pouring them both another glass. She had barely touched half of her plate by the time he finished tidying up the joint. “Tsk tsk,” he said as he shook his head. The look in his eyes took her breath away. “You really should keep up your energy.”

He packed it in a to-go box as she polished off her second glass of champagne with a trembling hand. She followed him into the kitchen to wash the glass and put it away, meeting him at the back door when she was done. There was a question in her eyes that he answered with a soft, lingering kiss. She didn’t speak much as she followed him to his car.

When they got to his house, he led her straight to the bathroom, where they stood together under a hot spray of water. She was the one who closed the gap between them, reaching up to kiss him simply because she still could. He devoured her mouth as he lifted her up into his arms. They barely dried off before he swung her into his strong arms and carried her to the bedroom, where he placed her gently on the bed. He laid a trail of blazing kisses from the tips of her toes, up over her ankles, along her calves and up inside her sensitive thighs. He parted her gently and dove in between her legs, taking his time to lick and nip and tease until she was begging for him. When he finally sank into her, she nearly cried. She felt so desired, so cherished… so loved. It was every fantasy she had come true.