Back to Life (22 page)

Lindsay

H
aley’s wedding day is perfect. The sun is shining, the sky has never looked more blue, and Haley sparkles without the help of beading or Svarovski crystals—though her gown is embellished well with both.

Her gown is a satin halter with full skirt and the bodice covered in seed pearls and crystal beading, but it’s the back that makes it Haley’s dress. It’s a lace-up corset that covers a subtle fuchsia (if fuchsia can be subtle, she’s found a way to do it) cathedral-length train with old-fashioned, fabric-covered buttons all the way to the floor. On top of the fuchsia, there is a bodice band of silver beading that makes the gown seem Victorian.

Naturally, our dresses are fuchsia, but I have never been happier to be in a bridesmaid gown, tacky or otherwise, than for my best friend Haley. Bette’s gown is more mother-of-the-bride, but still
hot pink. I suppose it’s a good thing Bette is a tiny woman. Her own wedding will be coming up soon, and I imagine it will be nothing like this one, but a joy nonetheless.

“Haley, it’s probably a good thing you didn’t marry Gavin. I don’t know what he would have thought of this dress. Pink, my goodness, what this L.A. lifestyle has brought to you!”

“Stop it, Mom. You sound like Lindsay. This is who I am.”

“Yes, Mrs. Adams, even L.A. won’t take credit for Haley’s taste.” I wink at her. “I’m kidding. It’s a beautiful dress, Haley. I could have never picked a better one for you. The glow on your face is unmistakable. I daresay you’re in love.” I pull at my gown, which is strapless. The fuchsia is just an added bonus, but maybe that’s what friendship is all about—you give a little of yourself up so that someone else can refine you and make you that much better, and they, in turn, do the same for you.

All of my Trophy Wives have improved me. Bette’s made me realize I’m made of more mettle than I thought; Haley taught me that my looks were nothing more than temporary and God had more important things to do with me. Lily taught me that I’m an entrepreneur by nature and a good manager in both design and the occasional lunch for whiny, fat men in bad suits. Penny taught me I have a long way to go before I’m ready for children rather than cats, and Helena showed me that when all else fails, blurt out the truth.

“Is it true that Jane’s getting married in Mexico?” Helena asks me.

“Next month in her local, Catholic church. The priest has been trying to marry them for years.”

“Focus, Lindsay. Haley’s just about ready to walk the aisle,” Bette chastises. I run to my favorite bride and adjust her train and check her lipstick, and then I hand her the bouquet of pink roses.

“My stomach is churning. I’m so nervous for you, Haley.”

“I’m not nervous at all. I have been waiting for this day far too long.”

“He’s a good man, Haley. I pray you make each other’s dreams come true.”

“We’re certainly going to try.”

The wedding coordinator from the church appears and says, “One minute!”

Haley turns to face me, her flawless skin the very picture of a Disney princess come to life. “Don’t let my pink side flip over and show the white underneath, all right? I want everyone to see this silver beading.”

“Crystal and bead patrol. I’m on it.”

“Don’t think we all don’t know you’ve been seeing Ronnie, either,” Haley adds. “We’re the Trophy Wives. Nothing gets past us. When Jake got married, did we leave you in the dark? Heck no, we told you he finally got up the guts to marry that poor girl. But Lord love her, I pray she’ll be all right in that family.”

“Don’t think about that, Haley. It’s bad luck. Purge your mind. Purge your mind.” I move my hand like I have a washcloth. “Clean?”

“Clean. I believe you, Lindsay.”

“You believe me about what?”

“It’s more than a flirtation. Ronnie looks at you the way a man in love looks at a woman, and you look at him like he could lift the world if he wanted to. Naturally, it’s inconvenient. Love usually is.”

“I’ll tell you a little secret,” I whisper. “I think he probably could lift the world. He’s got the kind of faith that can move mountains.”

Haley’s vote of confidence fills me with joy. The bridal march begins, and we all fall into line like bright, pink ducklings. Ham
ilton’s jaw goes slack as he sees Haley, and I don’t think there’s a woman alive who wouldn’t covet that expression on their man’s face. I peek around her, and I notice he gets teary. Hamilton Lowe is teary. Wonders never cease. I didn’t know lawyers actually possessed these emotions, but if anyone could provoke them, Haley could.

Ronnie is toward the front of the church in one of the pews beside his mother. At the sight of him, I am in eighth grade again, feeling the surge of emotion when a guy walks across the gym in front of the entire school and asks you for your first slow dance. That is what Ron Brindle Jr. does to my heart. And who says it’s so inconvenient? I won’t have to change my name if things work out.

Jane’s given up the battle over her son. I suppose she found the wars waged in her life were useless in the end, so why prolong this one? Ronnie takes after his mother in that way—he has a very strong will all of his own accord.

The truth always rises like cream to the surface—no matter how long you try to push it down under a milky film of lies.

Jane and I pass a knowing smile to each other. We Trophy Wives converted her to Jesus and she, in turn, converted me…to a cat lover. The women at the condo complex are going to care for my three while I leave for Mexico for the wedding and our mission trip. I’ve been told to bring good walking shoes, and I’m going to do that—just as soon as I find out what they are. I am very attentive to the pink on Haley’s gown throughout the entire ceremony. I even help her back to the altar for pictures.

“Lindsay, it’s okay. You don’t have to be quite that diligent.”

“No?” I look up innocently.

“No.”

“Beautiful wedding.” Ronnie appears beside me, and I bask in
his smile. He secretly takes my hand for a brief moment, and I feel flushed by his very touch.

“I think everyone’s onto us.” I grab his hand publicly and pull it to my waist. “We don’t have to pretend anymore.”

“It’s been fun, though. I’ll miss it. My mother probably ratted us out.”

“She was worried I was seeing someone who wasn’t you. She’s exactly like me in that she thinks there could be no one else out there. But she couldn’t figure out who I would spend so much time with who didn’t bother to get me at the door.”

“That stoop of yours is like Grand Central Station. Never know who you might run into there. But not picking you up at the door.” He drops his head, shaking it. “You think a guy would be raised better than that, wouldn’t you?”

I giggle. “So it’s official. We’re dating, and the Trophy Wives know it. Which mean our romance is now for public consumption.”

“So we can dance at the reception. Maybe we can sneak to the backroom and cop a kiss.”

I slap his shoulder. “You’re a missionary boy, now. Don’t forget that.”

“No, I wouldn’t. Besides, my mother is burning holes in your back right now. If you’re not planning on treating me right, you’d better let her know right up front.” He whispers this into my ear, and the tickling makes me laugh like a schoolgirl.

“Pictures! Pictures everyone! Bridal party I need you right here.” The photographer points to a place in front of the altar.

“I have to go now. I’ll see you at the hotel for the reception.” I look to Jane who watches her son with level eyes and a knowing gaze. “She would do anything for you, Ronnie. You do realize that.”

He walks me into the picture. “I do.”

“Even give you the one thing she thought wouldn’t be good for you.”

“She’s sacrificed her entire life for me. Now it’s my turn to pay it forward. I plan to let one woman in my life know I’d sacrifice anything for her.”

“I’ve already given up good shoes. Is there more sacrifice on my side?”

He grins. “That’s all. For now, anyway.”

I run to the top of the stairs and throw out my arms. “I’m the king of the world!” I say with a spin.

And I won’t be there alone.

Because sometimes God takes our worst fears and turns them into beautiful dreams come true. Ultimately, He knows when it’s time to get back into life.

1. Lindsay is known as the woman who has it all together, who is able to handle life, but it turns out she was better at handling other people’s lives. Have you ever felt like you lost your own rudder?
   
2. It sometimes feels like God seems to pile things on when life is tough. Lindsay is still mourning her husband and figuring out her own life, when Haley’s wedding crops up with a myriad of chores. Have you ever had to put aside grieving to help the living? If so, how did it work out?
   
3. Jane has managed to spend most of her life avoiding intimacy since making mistakes when she was younger. Have you ever had a hard time forgiving yourself and moving on? How did you ultimately handle getting unstuck?
   
4. Have you ever used avoiding a decision rather than make any decision at all? Did you notice that in itself was a decision? How did it turn out?
   
5. Jane’s avoidance of her feelings hurt a lot of people. Did you have a hard time identifying with her?
   
6. Lindsay also needed to move on from long-ago mistakes. What does it do to your faith when you hold on to old hurts?
   
7. Jane had a hard time forgiving people from her past and she held a grudge and took it out on a man who loved her dearly (Davis). Was there a time you took out your anger on an innocent? How did you move past it?
   
8. Do you think all people are capable of change? Did you think Mitch had changed?
   
9. Lindsay fights a relationship with Ronnie. Have you ever done that only to find it was inevitable?
   
10. Although Cherry had an abrupt way of seeing things, she was trying to help Lindsay to move on. Have you ever had someone tell you the right thing in the wrong way?