Back To Me (39 page)

              George waited for my reaction; the ball was in my court, but I was too stunned to do anything. Before I knew what was happening, Billy bolted from the couch and had him by the collar.

              “You knew?” he spoke with venom.

              “No, Billy,” George replied, seemingly unfazed. “I had no clue. I asked Angela at the time if the baby was mine, but she adamantly denied it. Tom and I were co-workers back then and on all accounts he was a decent guy. I’m ashamed to admit that during those days I wasn’t. I took something that wasn’t mine and while I regret a lot of things about my past, having a daughter isn’t one of them. I only wished I’d known sooner.”

              Silent tears soaked his face as he stared at me with expectant hope in his eyes. Of course I was shocked, but I couldn’t fault him for my mother’s lies.

              George continued explaining. “We found your birth certificate in Tom’s wallet. He’d apparently carried it around all these years. The date of your birth lines up with my affair with your mother. Not only that, Tom’s name is scratched out and mine is written in its place.”

              He pulled a crumpled piece of paper from his back pocket, offering me proof that he was telling the truth. I didn’t need it. I knew in my heart that he was my real father.

              I stood slowly, making sure my limbs were steady before I tried stepping forward. I was unsure about what to do. Should I hug him? Shake his hand? This was all new to me. With Tom it had been easier. I knew who he was and therefore I would never have
wanted
a relationship with him. I suppose with George it was different. For the first time I felt….
hope.
Hope that I’d finally have all I had ever dreamed of.

              Lauren gave me a gentle push from behind, encouraging me to go to him. Billy had since released George from his grasp, but continued to watch me closely.

              I was within a few feet of my father when the dam broke. I sobbed like a heartbroken little child, mourning the years we’d spent apart. Before I knew what was happening, George had come to me and enveloped me in his strong arms, just the way I imagined a dad would. I felt safe and my love for him was instantaneous. I embraced him too, burying my face in his broad chest.

              “I’m so sorry,” he cried. “If I’d have known…”

              “It’s okay. We know now.” I rubbed a soothing pattern on his back, and for a while it was just the two of us. I’d forgotten all about Billy, Luke and Lauren
. I just wanted my dad.

54

3 months later……

              “C’mon,” Lauren shouted from the bottom of the stairs. “We’re gonna be late!”

              Today was the opening of the women’s shelter and I couldn’t be more excited. Lauren and I had put a lot of time into getting the building remodeled and all the required licenses. Rose and Hallie had worked right alongside us, making sure that every need could be met. We were a team, the four of us, and I considered myself blessed to be surrounded by such amazing, strong women.

Within a few weeks of my ordeal with Tom and finding out that George was my father, things had started to get back to somewhat normal. I’d wanted to be sure that I could give one hundred percent of myself to Billy, but at the time it wasn’t in me so I continued to avoid his marriage proposals. 

It wasn’t that we didn’t occasionally think about Raul and the fact that he was still out there, somewhere. But we no longer allowed him to rule our lives. We had wasted too much precious time already. We felt there was good reason not to worry about his return. He had committed murder and this time there was a witness. Me.

              Besides working on the center, Billy and I were seeing a counselor which had helped tremendously. Both of us had a lot of baggage to shed and we had worked on ways to handle our past in a more mature way. Therapy was hard for Billy, especially when he had to hear in detail all I’d gone through. There were times he’d excuse himself from the room, but he always came back. He’d been my rock and I couldn’t have done it without him.

              George and I meet once a week for lunch and on most occasions Billy goes with me. In the beginning I’d been nervous, worried he’d find a reason to discontinue our relationship before it developed. To my surprise, he was just a regular guy who was trying his best to build a relationship with his daughter. It was just him and me now; his wife had died several years earlier from cancer.

We had formed a special bond and just recently I’d taken to calling him dad. His eyes lit up every time I addressed him that way. He gives Billy a hard time, but I don’t expect that will ever change. He keeps reminding him that he’s my dad and it’s his job to be brutal on the boyfriend. We keep our conversations in the present, always managing to steer clear of the elephant in the room; my mother.

              The construction of our new home started a few months ago and it’s almost finished. Luckily we agreed on most everything and had only hit a few snags along the way. Billy and I have been staying with Luke and Lauren which has worked out great because we are getting to spend time with Sam. Knowing that we’re going to be moving in the next few weeks has really upset her though, so it’s possible we might have to sneak out during the night.

              “Ready?” he asked, taking my hand in his.

              “Ready as I’ll ever be,” I said, smoothing my hands down the front of my dress.

              “You’ll do great, angel.” Billy placed a sweet kiss on my forehead and led me from the room.

              Lauren, Luke and Sam were waiting for us at the front door. “Ready to roll?”

              I nodded and we headed out; Sam insisting on riding with
Bilwy
. It was no trouble since she now had a permanent booster seat in the back seat of his truck. He gave me his dazzling smile before swinging her through the air.

              The ride there was fairly quiet and I used the time to peruse my notes on all the things I wanted to say. I was sweating profusely as I pictured everyone’s eyes on me. This was Lauren’s project so I wasn’t sure how I got roped into public speaking, but she assured me I would do great.

              Several ladies and their children had already been referred to us from local agencies. I was astounded at how many people were in need of a safer place to live. It was truly sad, but I was grateful for the opportunity to make a difference.

              The parking lot was full when we arrived. My dad, all of our friends and some people from city hall were there, as well as a reporter from the local newspaper. Blake was the only no-show. He was already on his way out of town to the next assignment, but he’d called to wish me luck.

              “You look beautiful, dear,” Rose whispered, giving me a hug.

              “Thank you, Rose. Ready for this?”

              “Sweetie, I’ve been ready for this for a long, long time!” I knew her background and the hell she’d been through when Luke was a boy. Rose was the most amazing person I had ever met. She always knew just the right thing to say and that would be so comforting to the women who came to the center for help.

              Lauren led me to the podium where I gazed at the crowd. I guessed somewhere around a hundred pair of eyes were staring at me, among them a few of our new clients. I felt they were expecting me to say something profound, but I came up blank. Hallie pointed to my que cards, but suddenly the words I’d written seemed insufficient. Deciding for once in my life to take a chance, I took a deep breath and said what was in my heart.

              “Welcome to ‘
There’s Always Hope
’. I’m so glad you could come out today to be a part of its grand opening.”

              The crowd cheered loudly and I used the opportunity to take another deep breath. Other than Billy and my therapist,
no one
, not even Lauren knew the truth about what had happened that night with Raul. I stared into the faces of the women who had come to us for help.

              “I’d like to start off by saying that you’re right to be scared. You’re right to worry about what happens tomorrow, and what your next step should be….”

              I felt Lauren’s eyes boring into my back, knowing I had ventured off from my prepared speech. I continued on anyway.

              “I would tell you that you are justified in
any
feelings you may have, and I know firsthand that fear is just one of many. You see, none of us,” I gestured to Rose, Hallie and Lauren standing behind me, “are therapist. We aren’t licensed psychologist, or witch doctors. We aren’t miracle workers. We’re real women and we have all been exactly where you are today. We’ve felt the gnawing fear that can paralyze you. We know what it’s like to stare into an abuser’s eyes and wonder if the violence will ever end. We have wondered why we deserved the punishment at the hands of others and took upon ourselves the feeling that we somehow must be to blame. We know you’re pain because we’ve lived through it.”

              I closed my eyes and clasped my hands around the edge of the makeshift podium, trying the breathing exercises that Billy and I had been practicing. It helped.

              “We want you to know that we aren’t judging you. We aren’t sizing you up and we sure as hell aren’t here to cut you down. Our mission is to lift you up and inspire you. To give you and your children love, advice, care, and
hope.
To remind you every day that you. Are. Not. Alone. That you are worth something and that you
are
worth loving
. That by coming here you will have a forever sisterhood of women who can and
will
support you.”

              Another loud round of applause erupted when I finished. Billy was beaming; the pride he felt emanating from his beautiful face.

              Lauren patted my back. “Told you you’d do great,” she laughed. “Ready?”

              “Ready. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you ‘
There’s Always Hope’
!” All four of us grabbed the ridiculously giant pair of scissors and cut the ribbon. There was another loud applause as the doors were officially opened. People congratulated us before rushing inside, anxious to see what the Center was all about.

              “Can I borrow you for a moment?” Billy asked, interrupting my thoughts.

              “Certainly,” I blushed.

              He took my hand and led me to my office in the back of the building. Lauren and I decided it was the perfect place for me to work with the children, away from the distractions and the operations of the Center.

              Billy opened the door and motioned for me to enter. Thousands of lights twinkled, casting an iridescent glow around the room. On my desk was a large arrangement of colorful roses. A small dining table was draped with a black linen tablecloth and adorned with a small velvet box.

              “I’ve asked you to marry me every day for the last several months,” he chided from behind me. “And every time you’ve failed to give me an answer,” he paused, briefly. “I’m glad you didn’t.”

              I turned and stared in confusion.

              “C’mere, angel.” Billy led me to the chair and sat me down.

              Kneeling before me, he took my hands in his. “We’ve always done things backwards, angel, but if I had it to do all over again, I swear I’d do it different. I’d be the man you deserved all those years ago, but I found myself breaking every rule for you.”

              “What rules?” I asked, grinning.

              “Well, when I enlisted with the agency we were given rules; a set of do’s and don’ts if you will.”

              “Go on,” I pushed. I was curious to see how he was gonna tie all this together because I knew
all
the damn rules!

              “Well, rule number one was
don’t get involved,
but you see, angel, that was impossible with you. I wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you. I was involved before I ever even knew your name.” Billy placed a kiss on my hand.

              “And the next?” I asked, playing along.

              “Rule number two states,
never go in unless your head is clear.
Heather, I’ve never been more clear about anything in my life. You and I belong together, that’s all there is to it.”

              “Good, I agree with that. Please, continue,” I said, with a glimmer in my eye.

              He chuckled softly. “God, you’re beautiful. Okay, so rule number three;
always trust your instincts.
I’d say that one is self-explanatory. My instincts tell me you’ll be my wife and we’ll make beautiful babies!” he laughed, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. I slapped him playfully on the shoulder.

              “Number four says
don’t let your emotions get the better of you
, but I swear, angel, for the first time in my life I don’t wanna get my emotions under control. I love feeling this way, ya know? I love the way you make me feel and I don’t wanna hide that.”

              “Me neither,” I said, my smile growing even bigger. He was doing so well.

              “Number five kinda goes with number four,” he explained. “
Never let your feelings show
. I’d dare say that since I look like a dumbstruck fool every time you walk in the room, people pretty much know how I feel about you. Don’t think there’s any hiding that!”

              I chuckled and then chimed in. “Number six says to
keep your mouth shut.
” 

              Billy looked at me puzzled. I placed my finger over his mouth, shushing him immediately. “You have to keep your mouth shut if you expect me to answer.”

              He nodded his head and I smiled at the beautiful man kneeling before me, declaring his undying love. I don’t know how I got so lucky, but I’ve learned to roll with what is and be thankful every single second that God allowed me to be on the roller coaster of life.

              “Yes, Billy,” I finally answered. “
Yes, I’ll marry you.
I’ll be your wife and we’ll make beautiful babies
.
Everyone will know how much I’m in love with you, because I’ll never hide it either. My cup runneth over.”

              Billy pulled my mouth to his, sealing the deal with a gentle but demanding kiss.

              “Okay!” I squealed. “Let me see it!” The black velvet box had been
begging
me to open it for the past ten minutes.

              Billy laughed heartily. “Women and jewelry,” he mocked. He opened the lid slowly, revealing the gorgeous ring. He stared at me expectantly.

              “Oh, Billy! I don’t know what to say!” I truly didn’t. I was speechless. I thought back to the day I’d first seen this intricate ring. He’d caught me staring at it when we picked out Sam’s birthday gift.
He’d remembered
.

              “I’ll buy you a bigger one. Anything you want,” he said, looking embarrassed, “but I remember you looking at this ring and…”

              “Billy, it’s perfect.
You’re
perfect.” I leaned forward and planted a chaste kiss on his lips before turning my gaze back to the stunner that sat atop my ring finger. It was a perfect fit, just like me and Billy.

The end…. For now.