Backfield in Motion (28 page)

“You’re not serious about this, are you?
Bruiser, I would do almost anything to help Elliot, but not that.
You and I have different priorities. Right now, mine is finding my
brother so my family can have some closure and so my dad doesn’t
end up in a mental hospital. Even if it weren’t, I wouldn’t marry
you.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t know who you are and
neither do you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Mac grew quiet and started fidgeting.
Bruiser narrowed his eyes and stared hard at her. “What are you
trying to say?” he pushed her, not letting her off the hook.

She looked him straight in the eyes with
that determined expression that meant trouble. “Your sister told me
about Brice.”

Anger welled up inside Bruiser. For a minute
he couldn’t speak. “Shanna should learn to keep her mouth shut.”
Now that fucking pissed him off. His sister had no right.

Mac blinked and stared at him as if he’d
gone even more insane than when he proposed marriage. “I’m glad she
did. I understand you more now.”

“I don’t need you to understand me or try to
psychoanalyze me.”

“Bruiser, why are you living someone else’s
life? Why are you being someone you aren’t?”

Bruiser gripped the steering wheel, more
furious than he probably had a right to be. “Because I should’ve
been the one who died, dammit!”

“That’s like me saying I should’ve been the
one who disappeared.”

“You don’t know.” He looked up at her, his
world caving in on him. All those carefully constructed walls to
keep out the demons started to crumble.

“What don’t I know, Bruiser?” She grabbed
his hand and held it tightly.

“I gave him those matches and cigarettes.”
Saying the words strangled him. He couldn’t bear seeing the
sympathy on Mac’s face because all he felt was self-loathing.

“You were a kid. Stuff happens. It’s
unfortunate, but you can’t live your life for someone else.” She
squeezed his hand, and he took some strength from her touch.

“Have you looked in a mirror lately?”

Mac blinked as if unable to process his
words. “What?”

“Yeah, you. Chasing after every imagined
clue about your brother, allowing your father to dictate your
present and future, and giving up your life for someone who most
likely will never be found. When does it stop?” Bruiser lashed out
with this uncontrollable need to make her hurt as much as he
did.

Mac stared a hole right through him. Oh, he
was a hero all right. A real stand-up guy. Sure he’d managed to
deflect her questions about him, but at what price to her?

“If your brother were missing, and you
didn’t know what happened to him, at what point would you consider
it time to give up the search?” Mac glared at him, the challenge in
her brown eyes.

Bruiser mulled that over, guessing that she
didn’t expect an answer but hell-bent on giving her one anyway. An
honest one she damn well wouldn’t appreciate. “The question is when
do you consider it time to get on with your life? To live the life
you deserve to live? You didn’t ask for this. Why should you be
punished for it?”

“Hey, neither did you. We both do what we
have to do. How much of your brother’s life are you living? Do you
even like football?”

Now that was a low blow, one of the lowest.
He pulled his hand from hers. “What have you seen out of me that
gives you the impression that I’m less than one hundred percent
dedicated to the game?”

“Nothing, and I won’t because you’re that
type of person. Whatever you do—love it or hate it—you do it with
everything you have, which is why you proposed this crazy idea of
marriage in the first place.”

“You’re right. It is crazy, and I’m sorry I
even brought it up.” Bruiser pulled out of the parking lot. They
drove in silence to Mac’s house. He dropped her off and sped away
without saying goodbye.

And he felt like a shit for it.

Because part of him knew she was right.

* * * * *

As much as Mac hated weakness and women who
cried over every little problem in their lives, she’d been doing a
lot of that herself lately. As she stood on her porch and watched
Bruiser fishtail down the street, a huge sob shook her body and
tears streamed down her face. She pounded her fists against the
siding of her house in frustration.

Damn him.

What kind of a screwy proposal had that
been, or even worse, had it been one at all? And how pathetic was
it that “yes” sat on the tip of her tongue? The urge to do
something so completely stupid, reckless, and for herself almost
overwhelmed her good sense.

Yet how did this constitute something for
herself? In reality it benefitted Bruiser and Elliot, not her.

She’d live in constant fear that the pretty
boy would get tired of her and find more attractive ground. She
might be able to survive with never having anything but a cursory
piece of him as long as they stayed together, but she couldn’t live
with loving him and losing him. For her it had to be a marriage of
love. For him it would be a minor inconvenience toward getting what
he wanted, including a built-in babysitter.

Maybe he could grow to love her, a small
voice inside her nagged. Yeah, just like I-5 wouldn’t be backed up
in downtown Seattle on game day.

Mac wiped viciously at the tears running
down her cheeks and started to go inside when she heard a noise.
Voices were murmuring on the other side of the fence over the
unmistakable sound of dirt being shoveled into a wheelbarrow. Mac
snuck to the spot in her fence where her father spied on his former
daughter-in-law and peeked through the knothole.

They were digging something up, all right.
She pressed her face up against the hole and couldn’t make out much
in the darkness, but thanks to a breeze blowing the sound her
direction, she could make out their words.

“We should stop now. She’s home.” Definitely
Sonja’s voice.

“She went in the house,” Ben said.

“Are you sure? That bitch and her dad are
devious.”

Ben snorted. “The old man isn’t here, and
the daughter isn’t nearly as nuts as the father.”

The shovel clanked against metal. Mac held
her breath. The two knelt down and dug at the earth with their
hands until Ben pried something free. It wasn’t a body. It was a
metal box about the size of a safe deposit box.

All of a sudden a hand clamped over her
mouth, and she tried to scream but the person held on even tighter
as she struggled to free herself.

“Shhh. Mac, it’s me.” A low voice whispered
in her ear.

Bruiser?

“What are you doing here?” she hissed when
he took his hand away.

“I came back to apologize for being an
idiot.” He breathed the words. “What’s going on?”

Mac stepped away and let Bruiser peek
through the hole, while she moved down further to another gap in
the fence, only she tripped over her cat who’d been doing his own
lurking in the darkness. She stumbled into the garbage can which
slammed to the ground with a loud bang. Bruiser gestured to her to
not move and mouthed, “Are you okay?”

Mac nodded. Under a small gap at the bottom
of the fence, she could see Sonja and Ben.

Ben pulled out a pistol and pointed it in
their direction. All Mac could hear was the beating of her heart.
“Is that you, Craig? You chickenshit asshole?”

Bruiser held a finger up to his lips. Mac
nodded.

Ben and Sonja froze in place, listening.
Without speaking another word, the two scurried into Will’s house
like rats after cheese. Too bad Mac couldn’t find a way to bait the
perfect mousetrap.

Bruiser gestured to her to go into the
house. Once inside, he turned to her. “What was that all
about?”

“I don’t know. They dug up a metal box. And
Ben had a gun.”

“Yeah, I saw. I’d tell the detective on your
brother’s case, but don’t tell your dad. He’d go busting over there
and get himself either shot or arrested.”

Mac nodded, her eyes filling with tears. Her
father wouldn’t stop until he found out what was in that box. Heck,
maybe it wasn’t even related to Will. Though she didn’t believe
that. Most likely it was. The only reason a person would hide a
metal box in their garden would be if it contained something
sinister or secretive or both.

Bruiser cupped Mac’s tear-stained face in
his hands. “I’m sorry, baby. Really, I’m sorry.”

Mac sniffed and looked up at him. “So am
I.”

“Hell, I didn’t even make it a few blocks
down the street before I turned around and came back.”

“I didn’t hear you drive up.”

“That’s because I parked down the street. I
wasn’t sure if I was going to knock or not, so I pulled over and
thought about it. Then I decided to walk to your house to see if
the lights were on.”

Mac had to giggle. “And you call my dad a
stalker.”

Bruiser’s face actually turned red. “I can’t
explain it, but something called me back. I just knew I couldn’t
leave yet. I was worried about you. You shouldn’t be spying on
those people. Desperate people are dangerous.”

“What makes you think they’re desperate?
They’ve been able to keep this secret for over three years.”

“Their actions had desperation written all
over them. Something’s changed and they’re covering tracks.”

“You really think so?”

“Fuck, yes. That guy drew a gun. You and
your dad need to stop playing amateur detectives before you get
into something you can’t get out of.”

Mac started to sob. Bruiser pulled her into
his arms and held her, stroking her back. His tender touch had her
losing all control, and once again she blubbered in his arms,
grateful he’d come back even though she knew he’d leave, if not
sooner, then later.

* * * * *

Bruiser spent the next few nights at Mac’s,
even though he grew more irritated by the hour. Her father stayed
late, and Mac didn’t make him leave. Craig showed no concern over
the possible danger he created for his daughter by his constant
spying on the neighbors. Oblivious to Mac’s discomfort, the man
constantly badgered Bruiser to get the truth out of Trudy.

Sonja and Ben made Bruiser nervous. Their
strange behavior only compounded his suspicions. Craig didn’t help
the situation, and Bruiser was within a thread of ripping Mac’s dad
a new one.

On Saturday evening, Bruiser showed up to
find Craig pacing the living room and Mac packing a small suitcase.
“Where are you going?”

“Dad needs me to go with him. I guess one of
Ben’s employees called Dad. Ben and Sonja have been at one of Ben’s
remote job sites late at night the last couple days.”

Bruiser scowled and shot Craig an accusing
glare. Craig looked away, refusing to meet his gaze. “You can’t go.
It’s too dangerous.”

“Since when do you tell me what to do?”

Bruiser set his jaw, ready for battle.
“Since you aren’t smart enough to figure out what to do yourself,
and your father certainly doesn’t have your best interests at
heart.”

“Don’t you criticize my father.”

“Your father is behaving irresponsibly
because he’s obsessed. Do you even know this employee of Ben’s? Can
you trust him? What if it’s some kind of setup?” He towered over
her, using the difference in their height to his advantage.

Mac pushed past him into her bathroom,
tossing various stuff into her suitcase. “My father needs closure.
I’ll see to it that he gets it.”

Bruiser stalked after her. “What about
Elliot? You were taking him to the game tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry. Tell him I can’t.” She sounded
like she was going to cry.

“You tell him.” Bruiser didn’t cut her any
slack. He was pissed.

“I don’t have time.” Mac shoved her
toothpaste and toothbrush along with some other girlie stuff into a
plastic bag.

“So that’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“I was thinking we might actually have
something, not just an occasional lay. But you won’t even give us a
chance.”

“Keep your voice down. My dad can hear.” Mac
shushed him like he was a recalcitrant child, which didn’t sit well
with him.

“Like he’d notice if it doesn’t involve
Will.”

She rounded on him, her eyes blazing. “That
was out of line, mister.”

Bruiser snorted and crossed his arms over
his chest, leaning on the doorframe. “Let the police handle this.
You’re both in over your heads.”

Mac stabbed a finger in the direction of the
door. “Get out. Now.”

Bruiser locked his jaw and glared at her.
He’d fucking had enough. One ghost in his life was one too many. He
couldn’t handle two. “I won’t be back, not unless your priorities
shift.”

“I’m not shifting my priorities. I’m
committed to seeing this through with Dad. You’re just pretending
we have more than sex because you want something from me; you want
Elliot.”

“You think that’s all this is? Do you think
I’m too shallow to have deep feelings?” Her accusations hurt more
than he’d ever imagined, yet he’d been accused of being shallow all
his life, why should it bother him now?

“I think you’re too selfish to see how
important this is to me.” Mac fisted her hands and stood up
straight, looking taller and a bit like an enraged mama bear when
someone was messing with her cubs.

“I’m selfish?” Bruiser laughed, a hollow
sound that echoed off the walls of the room. “Take a look around
you; then let’s talk about selfish. Maybe it’s easier to live your
life in limbo. You never take risks. Hell, you never have to take a
chance on anyone but yourself, and you can always come up with a
bullshit reason why you aren’t available emotionally and
physically.”

“Finding my brother is not bullshit.” Mac’s
voice raised a few decibels short of shrieking.

“It is if you devote your entire life to it
and have nothing left to show for it but regrets. What if you never
find him? That’s highly possible. How long do you plan on doing
this? Another year? Another five years? Another ten years? Another
twenty years?”