Backfield in Motion (30 page)

“Layoffs. They’re cutting back on permanent
staff and hiring college interns for half the price.”

Craig rubbed his hands over his face and
sighed. He dropped into a chair and gazed up at Bruiser, his eyes
bloodshot. The sadness etched into his face made him look much
older than his years. “I hope I didn’t cause this.”

Time to have a come-to-Jesus meeting with
Mr. Hernandez. “I’m sure it didn’t help with you calling her at
work, expecting her to leave at a moment’s notice to chase after
some red herring.”

“I need her help.”

“You need to let her have a life.” Bruiser
crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Mac’s father, not
cutting the man any slack.

“I have to find out what happened to
Will.”

Bruiser glanced out the window, across the
lawn to the neighbors’ house. “And if you never do, how long will
you keep this up?”

Craig frowned and stared at his hands
clasped around the binoculars. “I don’t know.”

“Look, Craig, I understand how it feels to
lose someone you love. In your case, it’s even worse because you
don’t know what happened, but at some point Mac has a right to a
life, rather than dedicating it to chasing every rumor and using
every spare minute looking for a ghost. What about college? What
about a family? Would Will have wanted her to give up everything
for him?”

“No,” Craig said so quietly that Bruiser
barely heard him. “I just don’t think I can do it alone.” The man’s
voice cracked, and Bruiser’s irritation subsided. He wished like
hell he could heal this poor man’s life and Mac’s. Only he
couldn’t.

Unless—

Trudy.

Bruiser shoved those thoughts to the back of
his mind.

“Is that fair to her? You’re using guilt to
manipulate her into helping you.”

Craig shrugged. “I guess I have been.”

“If you want to dedicate your life to the
search, that’s up to you, but you shouldn’t expect Mac to do it.
Hell, be a father for once and think about your daughter’s
well-being instead of fixating on a son who is no longer here. Do
what’s best for Mac.”

Craig said nothing. His shoulders sagged,
his entire body that of a broken man.

“Do you have any idea where Mac might have
gone?”

“I don’t know.”

Of course Craig wouldn’t know. He didn’t
know anything about Mac because he hadn’t paid any attention to her
these past three years. “Well, thanks. I’ll find her.”

“If you do, would you have her call me?”

“Yeah, I will.” Bruiser glanced back out the
window again. “Why don’t you go home and get something to eat?
You’re not going to see anything they don’t want you to see.”

Craig shrugged but made no attempt to
move.

“And start being the father Mac needs. Get
some professional help if you can’t do it on your own.”

Craig nodded.

Bruiser hoped like hell that Craig
considered his words.

* * * * *

Mac stood in front of the nondescript condo
in Kirkland near Lake Washington. She’d never been to his place
before, which was a little weird considering how long they’d been
seeing each other, but he’d never invited her. She expected Bruiser
to live in that sleek new high-rise on the water, but it was an
older condo, still nice, still with a view, but definitely not
high-end. It shouldn’t surprise her after what his sister had
said.

Why the hell she’d come here, she didn’t
know.

After driving around endlessly, trying not
to think about her bleak future, she’d ended up at Bruiser’s condo,
a place she’d never been to before but had the address for. But
Bruiser wasn’t home. She stared at her silent cell phone, which
she’d switched off hours ago. She didn’t make an attempt to turn it
back on, not that anyone would be calling except for her father
with news of his latest harebrained scheme.

The She-Wolves would be with their guys.
There wasn’t anyone else. She had hit rock bottom. She needed
Bruiser.

It was getting late and Bruiser still wasn’t
home. He’d probably hooked up with some beautiful woman Mac could
never compete with. Of course she’d given up the right to do so
after she’d pretty much set him straight about his ludicrous
marriage suggestion. As much as she’d like to help Elliot, she
couldn’t sell her soul to that particular devil. In exchange for
what? A wedding ring? A stable home? A college education? A
lifetime in a marriage with a man she adored—most likely loved—but
who didn’t love her?

She must have dozed off because the next
thing she knew she was startled awake by someone rapping on her
driver’s side window. Bruiser’s handsome face was illuminated by
the street lamp next to her car.

Mac rolled down the window. “Hi.”

“I’ve been looking all over hell and back
for you.” His brow was furrowed with worry and his blue eyes shone
with concern.

“I was here, waiting for you.” She loved
that he’d been looking for her. It gave her those warm fuzzies. It
gave her hope.

“No shit?” He almost laughed. “Come on,
let’s go in.”

“This was a bad idea. I’d better go
home.”

“You’ve been waiting here for me and now you
want to go home? How about a cup of coffee?”

A cup of coffee sounded good, but it’d be
followed by a half gallon of sex. “I’d better not. It’s late and
you have practice tomorrow.”

Bruiser glanced at his Rolex. “It’s only
ten. I can spare you an hour.”

“Okay.” Willpower was overrated anyway.

He took her hand and led her into his roomy
condo. Inside the entry was a huge open-plan living, dining, and
kitchen area, upgraded with granite countertops and dark cabinets.
The ultra-sleek and modern furniture was all beige, with pillows
for a splash of color. Even though it wasn’t her style, it was
actually comfortable. Typical man: a huge flatscreen dominated one
wall, while through the huge wall of windows, the waters of Lake
Washington glittered in the distance.

Bruiser pulled her into his arms and held
her close, stroking her hair. “I heard about your job.”

Mac resisted the urge to bury her head in
his chest and let go of the pain and fear. Instead, she stiffened
in his arms. This was not a good idea. In fact, it was a
stupid-assed one to the
n
th degree.

“I’m glad you came. You know I’ll always be
here for you.” His soft, gentle voice washed over her, relaxing her
a little. He stroked her back, his touch gentle yet strong. As if
he could be strong for her.

“Yes, I know.”

“Everything will be okay, Mac. You’ll
see.”

Easy for him to say. He made more than seven
million a year. “I know. I’m tough. I’ll get through it.” She put
her palms on his chest and stepped away. “Coming here was a stupid
idea.”

Bruiser frowned. “Then why did you come
here?”

“I don’t know.” Oh, God, she was going to
cry in front of this man again. He must think she spent half her
time crying.

He stood a few feet from her, his hands
shoved in his pockets, tapping one foot, as if he couldn’t stand
not doing something. Bruiser was a fixer, but he couldn’t fix this.
No one could. Not even her.

“Mac,” he took a step forward.

She held out her hands to stop him. “I’d
better leave. I’m just prolonging the inevitable.”

“What’s the
inevitable
?”

“The end—again—of our—uh—affair, whatever
you want to call it.”

“We don’t have to end it.”

“I do. For my own good, I need to end
it.”

“Why? Why can’t we stay together?”

“As what?”

“Well, the guys had that one idea.”

“To get custody of Elliot, not because you
wanted to spend the rest of your life with me.” Mac rubbed her
hands over her face and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment.

When she opened her eyes Bruiser met her
gaze, his jaw tight and his eyes hard. “Maybe I do. Maybe I want
that. Did you think I’d marry you and then screw around?”

Mac shrugged and looked away, unable to hold
his gaze. She picked up a small vase and pretended to study it.

“Well, I’m not wired like that, despite what
you might think.”

“I don’t know what to think. Why would you
be willing to spend the rest of your life with a woman you didn’t
love?” Mac held her breath, praying he might throw her a bone, give
her a reason to hope, to believe they might actually have
something.

His expression was unreadable. “You’re a
friend. We like a lot of the same things. We have a lot in
common.”

“But do you love me?”

Bruiser frowned and stared at his feet. “I
don’t know. Love is one of those things I’ve never been good at
defining.”

But he hadn’t said no, and Mac wanted to say
yes to this crazy idea. How could she swallow her pride and agree
to an arrangement based on practicality and not love? “It won’t
work.”

“Mac, I married once because I thought I was
in love. We had nothing in common outside of the bedroom, and
obviously that wasn’t enough for her. So as I see it, we have a
better chance than CeCe and I did.”

Mac shook her head. “I can’t do it. Even for
Elliot.”

“I’ll pay for your college.”

“Now you’re bribing me again.” She managed a
smile.

He gave her one of those sexy Bruiser grins.
“Damn right. Anything it takes.”

“Just not this. I’m so sorry. I really want
you to get custody of Elliot. Really I do. But not this way.”

“Think about it. Don’t close your mind to
the possibilities. We’re damn good in bed, you know.”

“That’s not enough.” Mac shook her head.
“I’m going to leave now.”

Bruiser didn’t protest.

Mac, her mind churning, drove back to her
lonely house and the company of her cat.

Chapter 21

A few days later, Mac sat with Kelsie in
Eugenio’s, a small Italian restaurant near the Kirkland waterfront.
Eugenio’s boasted the best lasagna in the area, but it might was
well have been sawdust for as much interest as Mac had in her
food.

Kelsie gushed about her life with Zach, and
Mac felt a twinge of jealousy. She wanted what Kelsie had, yet she
knew Zach and Kelsie’s relationship hadn’t started out that way.
Mac, who wasn’t prone to nervousness, couldn’t quite broach the
reason she’d invited Kelsie here. As dinner wound down, and Kelsie
kept glancing at her watch, Mac knew she’d better get a set of
balls soon or miss her opportunity. She’d never been good with girl
talk and spilling her guts.

Kelsie paused, took a deep breath and
studied Mac. “I’m sorry, I must be boring you. It’s too bad the
other girls couldn’t make it.”

“Actually, I didn’t invite them.”

“Oh, really?” Kelsie, ever the lady, folded
her hands in her lap and waited. A slight smile graced her
beautiful, flawless face.

Mac would never look that good if she spent
millions on a makeover and plastic surgery. “I thought we could
spend a little time getting to know each other.”

“Well, that’s nice.” Kelsie’s tone might
have been polite but her expression was shrewd. “What would you
like to know, specifically, that the other girls can’t hear?”

Leave it to Kelsie to manage to nicely cut
through the bullshit.

“I wanted to talk to you in confidence about
the circumstances of your marriage.”

“Okay.” Mac could almost see Kelsie’s guard
going up. “Why are you interested?”

Mac needed to give Kelsie more if she was
going to get any useful answers. “This has to do with Bruiser. He
wants me to marry him.”

“Oh, Mac, that’s wonderful. Do you need help
planning the wedding?” Kelsie smiled like the beauty queen she’d
been, genuinely happy for Mac.

“Not exactly. This would be a marriage based
on need, not love.”

Kelsie’s face puckered in confusion.

“He needs a wife in order to get
guardianship of Elliot. And I need his money for a college
education.”

“Ah.” Kelsie nodded and smiled, relaxing
back into her chair. “I get it now. A marriage of convenience.
That’s why you came to me.”

“Uh, yeah. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all, it’s common knowledge among our
friends that my marriage started as a business proposition that was
mutually beneficial to both of us.”

“Business partners with benefits.”

“Exactly.” Kelsie laughed. Even her laugh
was classy and feminine. If she wasn’t so nice, Mac would be
totally insecure around her. “So what are the parameters? Is there
a time frame? Does it include benefits?”

“I’m sure it would since we’re utilizing
those benefits right now. And no time frame that I’m aware of. In
fact, he made it sound permanent.”

“So what’s the issue?”

“What about love?”

“Ah, love. Do you love him?”

Mac opened her mouth to answer but Kelsie
held up a hand to stop her. “Give me the truth of what’s in your
heart, not some rehearsed garbage.”

Mac gave Kelsie the truth. “I’ve had a crush
on Bruiser ever since he joined the Jacks, even before I started
working there. We got to be friends, and even though I wanted more,
he didn’t see me that way.”

“And now?”

“Now I’m sure he sees me as a friend
and
a sex partner.”

“That’s a good start. Zach and I didn’t even
have that, and now we’re madly in love with each other.” Kelsie’s
eyes sparkled just mentioning Zach’s name.

“We’re the reverse of you and Zach. Bruiser
is the beautiful one in the relationship.”

“Now, Mac, don’t sell yourself short. You
look fantastic. You have that girl-next-door beauty and that inner
glow.”

“Thanks.” Mac ducked her head, feeling oddly
embarrassed and pleased at the same time.

“So when is the wedding?” Kelsie’s wheels
were turning, obviously a mile ahead on the wedding plans.

“I told him no.”

“And why did you do that?”