Bad Rep (33 page)

I tried to think of some smart ass thing to say. I wanted to shove his self-righteous BS down his throat. As if I was the only one that had messed up here.  Sure I had acted a little childishly.  I wasn't denying that.  But that didn't change the fact that Jordan had invited his bitch ass ex to his concert and didn't tell me.  Oh then there was that damn song...okay I was starting to seethe again.

Jordan's jaw set and I knew he could see how pissed I was. “Liv called me yesterday afternoon.  She was kind of a mess.  She was begging to talk to me.  Jesus, Mays, I was with her for a long time.  Even if we're not together anymore, that doesn't mean I don't care if she's hurting.  I'm not that kind of guy.  She asked if it was alright if she came to see us play.  I said sure because I didn't think it was that big of a deal.  I was going home with
you
. 
That's
what was important.”  His face was drawn and I could see how tired he was.  It was obvious he hadn't gotten any sleep last night.  Probably because he had been camped outside my apartment for most of it. 

“But you told her to meet you at Garrett's,” I said, feeling the hurt all over again.  Jordan scrubbed his hands over his face in agitation. 

“Christ.  I never told her to meet me anywhere!  It's not like Garret's parties are a secret.  Half the fucking county knows about them.  And yeah, I knew she had some things to say to me.  And why wouldn't I let her?  I haven't given her much of a chance to say her piece since we broke up.  To be honest, I've been a bit of a dick to her about all of it because my entire focus has been on being with you, Mays.”  Okay, way to make me feel guilty. 

Jordan rubbed the skin between his eyebrows as though he were getting a headache.  “So maybe I should have taken the time to think about how you would feel when I said she could come to the show.  But I wasn't really thinking about Olivia.  All I could think about was you and knowing that in a few short hours I would get to see you again. 
What Olivia had to say was of little importance to me.  Yeah, I feel like shit that she's hurting.  I wish I had handled things differently.  But that doesn't change the fact that I was spending my night with
you
and only
you
.  And I can't feel bad about wanting this the way I do.  So, why can't that be enough?” he asked angrily. 

Was he that stupid that he didn't see that Olivia wasn't ready to let him go?  That there was no way in hell she would just sit back and let us have our happily ever after?  Sure, he was being a nice guy but it didn't change the fact that he hadn't had the decency to let me know his ex would be at his show.  That was not cool.

“You should have told me she was coming.  I was a little blindsided.” I said, looking away from him.  Jordan was quiet for a moment and then his fingers were on my chin, pulling my face back around to look at him. 

“You're right, Mays.  I should have told you.  That was supremely uncool.  But like I said, I wasn't thinking about Olivia at all last evening.  I was only thinking about showing everyone my girl and how freaking good that felt.  How good I was going to make you feel.” 

I gulped, feeling the heat rise in my face.  His words had come out like a seductive growl.  Yeah, that's all I had been thinking about too...until I heard that stupid fucking song.  “What about that song?  The one you wrote for Olivia?”  Who was this whiny chick with my voice?  It couldn't be Maysie Ardin asking such a silly question in the most pathetic way possible.  Why did I have let that song bother me?  It shouldn't bother me.  It had been written before Jordan and I even knew each other.  But it made me feel incredibly small. 

Jordan rubbed his forehead again.  “What song, Mays?” 

“You know what I'm talking about!  That damn
Lost
in You
song!  I know you wrote it for her.  She was bragging about it in the bathroom.”  Jordan barked out a humorless laugh. 

“I wrote that song almost three years ago.  And yes, it was about Olivia.  At one time.  But now, it's just another fucking song.  It doesn't mean anything.”  If only that were true.  I moved away from the wall and went into the kitchen to make myself coffee.  I needed caffeine fortification immediately. 

I knew Jordan followed me because I could feel the heat of his body as he crowded into my personal space.  “Maysie.  Seriously, you can't get pissed off about a song I wrote years before I knew you.  It's a fan favorite, so we play it at our shows.  I really don't get what the big deal is.”  He sounded lost and that just irritated me more. 

I dumped coffee grounds into the machine and turned it on.  I braced my hands on the counter, not turning to face him as I unloaded my juvenile insecurities.  But I needed to say the words or I would choke on them. 

“That song, Jordan, was beautiful.  Those words, I could see how in love you were with her when you wrote them.  It just made me feel like there was no way I could ever compete with those feelings.  I mean, what chance do you and I have when you had that with
her?” 
Jordan gripped my shoulders and turned me to face him.  His face had relaxed and his eyes had gone tender.  He reached out and ran his fingers down my cheek. 

“Baby, I'm sorry you feel that way, but you are so freaking deluded.” I started to get angry again when he gripped the back of my neck and tugged me forward.  His eyes were intense as he stared down at me.  “Yes, I loved Olivia.  Yes, I meant those words when I wrote them.  But I was nineteen years old.  She was my first serious girlfriend.  I was an immature college freshman getting my first regular piece of ass so I thought she was
it.
”  My throat seized.

Jordan kissed my nose softly.  “But that was a lifetime ago.  And I've grown up a lot since then.  I'm not saying that I didn't feel strongly for Liv, but stuff has seriously changed since then.  And I've learned that the love I thought I felt was more of an infatuation with the
idea
of her.  I told you before that things had been messed up between us for a while.  I wasn't just talking out of my ass.  It's the truth. She and I were not a functional couple.   She is selfish and self-involved.  If something didn't relate to her Chi Delta world, she didn't care about it.  You know last night was the first time she had been to one of my shows in over a year?  She couldn't give a shit about my music.  It was more of an inconvenience for her and she was constantly trying to get me to leave the band.  Now does that sound like a healthy relationship to you?”  Wow, even I knew that music was an integral part of who Jordan was.  I couldn't imagine him not playing.  It was like telling someone to stop breathing.

Jordan kissed the corner of my mouth.  “But
you
get it.  In the four months I've known you, you see more of me than she ever did.  For the first time I feel like I can be myself and let loose with someone.  We connect on a level Olivia and I never did.”  He placed his lips on mine in a gentle kiss that made my toes curl.  “I feel like you were made just for me, Maysie Ardin.  Everything about you makes me want you more.  Even your jealous little snits have me wanting to haul you over my shoulder and take you back to your bedroom just to show you how much you mean to me.”  Well crap. 

“That's just lust.  I mean yeah, we have a serious physical attraction, but...” Jordan's mouth cut me off and I forgot what I was saying.  He kissed me roughly, just the way I liked it.  After a few seconds he ripped his mouth from mine and he breathed heavily as he gripped the sides of my face with his hands. 

“This is more than just physical attraction and you know it.  I have NEVER wanted someone the way I want you.  This thing I feel for you isn't rational.  It doesn't really make sense, but it's there.  And I'll be damned if I let you run away from it just because you feel insecure.  Because there is no other girl for me, Mays.  You are
it.
”  Wow.  Um, just wow.  I had no words. 

My coffee was forgotten as I wrapped my arms around his neck.  “No more running,” he murmured as his mouth met mine again.  He ran his hands down my back and I shivered. 

“No more running,” I agreed, letting him pick me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist.  He carried me down the hallway and into my bedroom.  He didn't kiss me again until he laid me down on the bed.  He ran his hand down the length of my body as he lowered his lips to kiss the side of my neck. 

“I'm sorry I was such an idiot,” I whispered as his tongue slid upward to my ear.  I gasped as he sucked my lobe into his mouth, sending an electric jolt straight to my vagina. 

“I'll forgive you, this once,” he rasped in my ear as his hand started to slid up the side of my shorts.  “Kiss me, Maysie.” Jordan demanded as his fingers pushed aside my underwear and started to tease the outer edges of my throbbing center. 

“Yes, sir,” I got out as his finger slid inside me.  I attacked his mouth with my tongue and teeth.  I bit down on his lower lip and he moaned deep in the back of his throat.  He slipped a second finger inside me, pushing them knuckle deep into my core. 

My tongue swept into his mouth and I spent a good deal of time exploring the barbell hidden there.  God I loved his tongue ring.  He withdrew his fingers to the tips and then pushed them back in with a force that made me arch my back.  His thumb started circling my clit and I felt the slow burn start to smolder.  He found a perfect rhythm and I became undone at the expert curve of his fingers.  Our mouths were frenzied against each other.  My orgasm came with an earth shattering explosion.  I was left panting and dear god, I wanted more.

Jordan withdrew his fingers and I watched in fascination as he put them in his mouth and sucked on them.  He closed his eyes and moaned.  “God, I wish I could keep your taste in my mouth all day long.” He opened his eyes and grinned at me, making me blush.  No one had ever talked to me the way he did.  It was arousing and more than a little naughty. 

Jordan leaned down and kissed the underside of my chin.  “I'm nowhere near done with you,” he promised as he took a hold of the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head.  I clumsily undid the buttons of his shirt and peeled it off of him. I traced the curves of his tattoo on the side of his neck.  Yeah, it was time to taste that skin of his. 

While Jordan slid my panties and shorts off, I put my mouth to his neck and lightly ran my tongue along the lines of his ink.  I felt him shudder as he wrenched the clothing off my body.  His hands ran along my stomach and upwards to my breasts.  He cupped them in his hands and ran his thumbs along my hard nipples.  I continued my torturous exploration of his skin, gliding my mouth along his shoulders and down into the hollow of his throat.  He tasted salty and absolutely, 100 percent delicious.

I realized I was completely naked.  Jordan had never seen me without my clothes in the light of day before. I felt a little shy all of the sudden, even with the crazy things we were doing to each other's bodies.  Jordan lowered his mouth to my nipple, pulling it into his mouth and sucked the sensitive bud until I was gasping for breath.  His one hand came up to the other breast and rubbed and teased, while his other hand went back between my legs to run along the wet slit.  Crap, this boy was a multitasker.  I was impressed. 

His teeth nibbled at my nipple and damned if I didn't feel a second orgasm rolling through my body.  He didn't put his fingers inside me, instead he rubbed my clit in slow, lazy circles and then moved downward to tease my wet opening without actually entering.  It was maddening and so hot I thought I would die.  And just like that, orgasm number two hit with a thunderous force that I think my heart stopped for a moment.  Fuck, he was good. 

I lay flat on my back, flushed and panting and Jordan still had his jeans on.  There was something seriously wrong with that.  Pulling together what little strength I had left, I sat up and reached for the button of his jeans.  Jordan watched my hands as they unzipped him and pushed his pants down passed his hips, taking his boxers with it. 

My vagina literally pulsed as I took in the sight of him, hard and erect and ready for some attention.  Using my feet, I pushed his pants all the way off and we were finally naked together.  Jordan pressed his skin against mine and I let out a sigh at the beautiful intimacy of it.  Touching Jordan was unlike anything I had ever experienced.  We fit together in all the right places, like our bodies were made for each other.

He grabbed my face between his hands and kissed me slowly and softly.  It was almost too soft after the intense sensations I had just experienced.  I could feel his hardness pressed between my legs, just waiting for me to let him in.  He rocked his hips a bit so that he rubbed against me and I spread my thighs, letting him rest between them.