Bad Wolf (17 page)

She had masterfully resolved the crisis that Norman had instigated with his thoughtless blabbing. Her public display of remorse had turned around what had threatened to destroy her image. The TV station and the shareholders had been satisfied; they’d found a capable new producer and decided to move on, putting aside what had happened. After three days, her car had emerged like new from the paint shop, and she wasn’t surprised when Meike informed her that for the rest of her vacation she’d be moving to Sachsenhausen to stay at the apartment of a girlfriend who was spending the summer in Chile or China. Everything that had seemed so incredibly important to her earlier was now of no consequence. Since that evening in her therapist’s kitchen, something had changed, and she could hardly grasp what it was.

“The topic is absolutely sensational. The person involved wants to remain anonymous, of course, but that shouldn’t be a problem.” She pulled a couple of sheets of paper out of her bag and held them out to Wolfgang. As he reached to take them, she pulled her hand back. “It’s top secret, Wolfgang. I trust that you won’t mention this to a soul.”

“Of course not,” he assured her, acting a bit offended. “I’ve never betrayed anything you’ve told me in confidence.”

She handed him the four single-spaced pages, and he began to read.

She had a hard time curbing her impatience.

Read faster, she thought. Say something, will you?

But he remained silent, his face expressionless. The only visible sign of emotion was a furrow at the bridge of his nose that got deeper the longer he read.

Hanna had to stop herself from slamming the palm of her hand on the table.

Finally, he looked up.

“Well?” she asked expectantly. “Didn’t I tell you? This story is pure dynamite! The human tragedy behind it is of apocalyptic proportions! And there are no suspicious circumstances involved; I’ve spoken personally with most of those affected. They gave me names, places, dates, facts. As you can imagine, at first I could hardly believe it. With a big PR campaign, this story is going to produce ratings like we haven’t seen in years.”

Wolfgang still said nothing. Eloquence wasn’t his strong point. Sometimes it took him minutes to formulate a request into awkward wording, and she often felt stupid because she talked so fast and said so much. She would interrupt him and race ten thoughts ahead before he’d answered the original question.

“Hanna, I don’t want to rain on your parade, but if you ask me, the topic is actually rather … banal. It’s been covered in the press ad nauseam,” he finally said after an enervating pause. “Do you really believe that anyone would still be interested?”

Her sense of eager anticipation collapsed like a house of cards when she saw the skepticism in his eyes. She was hugely disappointed, but she was also angry—at him, but, above all, at herself. Once more she’d been overhasty, too enthusiastic.

“Yes, I do. I also think that this particular topic can’t be discussed often enough in the public arena.” She reached out her hand and tried to make her voice sound calm. “I’m sorry that I’ve wasted your valuable time.”

He hesitated, made no move to hand her the pages; instead, he placed them on the desktop and arranged them into a neat stack.

“Ultimately, it’s your decision what topics you want to deal with on your show.” Wolfgang smiled. “But you wanted my advice, so I’m giving it to you.” He turned serious. “Don’t do it.”

“Excuse me?” She thought she hadn’t heard him correctly. What did he have in mind?

He lowered his eyes, but she had noticed the emphatic way he had voiced his objection. Furrows of tension appeared between his eyebrows. What was prompting such a strong reaction?

“As your friend, I advise you not to run this story,” he said in a lowered voice. “It’s an explosive issue. You have no idea what you’re getting into. I have a bad feeling about it. If what it says here is true, then people are involved who will not welcome publicity of this kind.”

“Are you worried about the station’s reputation?” Hanna asked. “Are you afraid of lawsuits? Or what is it?”

“No,” he replied. “I’m worried about you. You’re not judging the situation correctly.”

“We’ve been dealing with hot potatoes for years,” Hanna countered. “It’s the hallmark of my show.”

They gazed at each other for a long time in silence, until he gave up with a sigh.

“You’re going to do what you want to do; I know that.” He reached out his hand and put it on top of hers. “I’m only asking you to think it through one more time.”

She really liked Wolfgang. He was her oldest and dearest friend. She knew his strengths, but she also knew his weaknesses. Wolfgang was a number guy; he was rational, dependable, and cautious. But it was precisely these good qualities that kept getting in his way, because on the flip side he was also an indecisive vacillator, a cowardly bean counter who simply lacked the courage to take a risk.

“Okay.” Hanna nodded and gave him a forced smile. “I’ll do that. Thanks for your advice.”

*   *   *

The Main-Taunus shopping center was swarming with shoppers. It took Pia a long time to find a spot in the parking garage.

“So what are we shopping for?” Lilly asked, gamboling along beside her.

“I have to pick up my shoes at the shoe repair,” said Pia. “But first you and I have to find something to wear tonight.”

“What’s happening tonight?”

“I told you already.” Pia took Lilly’s hand so she wouldn’t lose her in the crowd. “Miriam’s grandmother is having a party, and we’re going to it.”

“Is Grandpa coming, too?”

“No, he’s in Düsseldorf today.”

“Oh, that’s a shame.”

“You mean you don’t like my company?” said Pia with a grin.

“Oh, of course I do,” Lilly declared. “But I like it best when we’re all together.”

Pia stroked the girl’s hair. Sometimes Lilly could drive her nuts with her constant chatter, but her disarming honesty was always so touching. She was actually going to miss the girl when she flew back to Australia in two weeks.

“Could we buy a DVD, too?” Lilly begged as they walked by the Media Mart. Pia cast a quick glance in the shop window at the crush of people and shook her head.

“First we have to get the important stuff done.”

All week long, she’d told herself to drive to the mall and look for a summer dress, but when she got home late in the evening, she never felt like dealing with the crowds. She’d found a nice dress on the Web, but of course it wouldn’t be available in her size until the first days of fall. By then, she’d no longer need a summer dress.

“Oh, look, ice cream!” Lilly pointed excitedly at the ice-cream stand and tugged on Pia’s hand. “I’d really like to have an ice-cream cone. It’s so hot.”

“They won’t let us into the department stores with ice cream.” Pia ushered her past. “Later.”

Before they reached the shop where Pia hoped to find a dress, Lilly had spied five things that she absolutely had to have.

Pia was getting fed up.

“I’m not going to take you shopping ever again if you keep trying to make detours,” she said firmly. “First we’re going to buy the clothes, and then we’ll look at other things.”

“You’re no fun,” said Lilly with a pout.

“Neither are you,” said Pia, unmoved.

Whether that was pedagogically correct or not, she had no idea, but it worked. The little girl shut up.

In the first store, Pia found nothing she liked. In the second, she narrowed it down to two dresses, but neither of them fit right, and they looked as baggy as overalls on her. This didn’t help Pia’s mood. She hated trying on clothes in the cramped changing rooms in this heat, and it didn’t help to see her sweaty reflection in the mercilessly harsh fluorescent light. Maybe somebody should give the department store owners a tip: Dim lights in the changing rooms would surely increase sales. In the third store, she finally found something suitable. She told Lilly to wait outside, but as soon as she was down to slip and bra and putting on the dress, Lilly stuck her head in.

“Is it going to take long? I have to go to the bathroom,” she said.

“I’m almost done. You’re going to have to hold it awhile.”

“How long?”

“Five minutes.”

“But I can’t hold it that long,” the girl whined.

Pia didn’t answer. Sweat was running down her face and back, and she couldn’t zip up the back of the dress.

“You’re too fat,” said Lilly.

That did it.

“Get out!” Pia yelled. “Wait outside like I told you. I’ll be right there.”

The little witch stuck out her tongue and then pulled open the curtain all the way to make her even madder. Two narrow-hipped young gazelles in size zero tops stared at Pia and giggled idiotically.

In her mind, Pia cursed Miriam’s grandmother for having a stupid charity party, and she cursed herself for agreeing to drive to Frankfurt. The sight of the dress calmed her down a bit. It fit well and she looked good. It wasn’t even that expensive.

When she came out of the dressing room, Lilly was gone. Pia figured she was probably hiding somewhere among the clothes racks, just to annoy her. Pia went to the checkout counter and got in the line that looked the shortest. A big mistake, as it turned out, because the woman in front of her was buying fourteen items and her credit card didn’t work. Pia nervously kept a lookout for Lilly. Finally, she was able to pay. She put the shopping bag under her arm and headed off to find the girl.

The little rascal wasn’t in the women’s department or the men’s. She asked a salesclerk where the rest rooms were, which turned out to be in the basement, and took the escalator down. But Lilly wasn’t there, either. Gradually, Pia’s anger turned to concern. She wasn’t used to being responsible for a child. After she’d searched the whole store in vain and asked every salesclerk if they’d seen a little girl with blond pigtails, she went out into the mall. Throngs of people were wandering through the place. How could she possibly find Lilly in this crowd? She started to feel upset. She thought about cases in which children had disappeared without a trace in shopping centers, because they walked off with some stranger who promised them an ice cream or a toy.

Now frantic, she hurried into the costume jewelry store where Lilly had seen a pink pearl necklace that she just had to have. No trace of her. Nobody seemed to have seen her. Not even at the ice-cream stand, or the DVD section of the Media Mart on the second floor. In a panic, Pia ran back to the fountain. She rudely bumped into strangers, who hurled curses after her. At first, she’d imagined that she would tell Lilly off, but after half an hour she was only praying silently to find the girl unharmed.

There was a line waiting at the information booth.

“Please, could I cut in?” she gasped. “I’m looking for a lost child.”

Most people were understanding and let her go ahead of them, until she got to two grandmothers who stubbornly insisted that their business was more important than a lost child. As cool as ice, one of them bought three gift certificates, and the other asked where some store was and didn’t understand what the woman in the booth was trying to explain. Finally, it was Pia’s turn.

“Could you please help me find my—” She stopped. How exactly should she describe her relationship to Lilly? Could you please make an announcement? I’m trying to find the granddaughter of my live-in boyfriend? How crazy did that sound?

“Yes?” The chubby, bored slowpoke at the information desk gave her a blank look. Without embarrassment, she was scratching at her cleavage with multicolored lacquered nails that looked like claws.

“I’ve…” Pia began a second time, then decided on the uncomplicated version.

“My daughter is lost,” she blurted out. “Could you please page her for me?”

“What’s her name?” asked the fat lady lethargically. “Where should she meet you?”

“Her name is Lilly. Lilly Sander.”

“What?”

Man, she was stupid!

Pia spelled it out impatiently. “L-I-L-L-Y. Tell her to meet me at the fountain. Or no, wait—the ice-cream shop is better. She doesn’t know her way around here.”

Finally, the cow got it and made a halfway intelligible announcement, but Pia doubted that Lilly would realize that it was for her.

“Thank you,” she said, and headed for the ice-cream stand to keep an eye out for Lilly. What else could she do? Her knees were shaky, her stomach was cramping, and she realized that what she was feeling was fear. Pia forced herself not to think about all the things that could happen to a pretty, blond seven-year-old girl.

For the first time in her life, she understood what really went on in the minds of parents with missing kids. This kind of helplessness and uncertainty was pure hell. So how horrible must it be to endure these feelings for weeks, months, or even years? She also grasped how little consolation it must be for parents when the police assured them they would do everything humanly possible to find the child.

Pia thought she saw Lilly in every blond girl who passed by. Her heart leapt each time, followed by disappointment that brought tears of despair to her eyes. People strolled past her, and at last Pia could no longer stand the waiting and inaction. She took off at a brisk pace. She had to search on her own; otherwise, she would go crazy. She forgot all the hollow advice she had given to parents of missing kids about the need to stay calm. Loaded down with her shoulder bag and department store bag, she hurried into the store where she’d last been with Lilly. She went back to the ice-cream stand, to the costume jewelry shop, to the crafts store where Lilly had seen some stuffed animal she wanted. Finally, she went back to the Media Mart. She asked a zillion people if they’d seen Lilly, but nobody had.

Finally, she decided to take her shopping bag to the car so that she could look for Lilly without feeling encumbered. On the way to the parking garage, she considered calling her colleagues on the beat. Officers in uniform who asked people questions were usually taken more seriously than a sweaty, panicky woman.

But what was she going to tell Christoph? She couldn’t return home without finding his granddaughter! Pia fumbled to get the car keys out of her bag. Then she looked up and couldn’t believe her eyes. Arms around her knees, Lilly was huddled on the ground next to the rear tire of the car.