Balefire (19 page)
Authors: Barrett
Tags: #Gay & Lesbian, #Contemporary, #Fiction, #Romance, #Genre Fiction, #Lesbian, #Lesbian Romance, #Literature & Fiction
“What’s wrong?” Kirin’s heart started pounding, and she felt fright
ened.
Silke smiled and stroked her face. “Don’t you see? Nothing’s wrong. I just figured it out. This is it. This is the way it’s supposed to be.” She started up the ladder.
Huh?
Kirin followed her.
Silke handed her a towel as she climbed back into the boat. They both dried off, and Kirin pulled on her clothes, feeling much less comfortable standing naked on a boat. She tied both their suits to the rail and watched as Silke stood with her towel clutched to her chin as she stared out at the big lake.
Kirin tried to follow her gaze but saw nothing. “Are you all right?”
Silke nodded. “Better than all right.”
Kirin stepped closer and saw that Silke’s expression was more like awe or wonder. She tenderly stroked Silke’s arms from behind. Silke shivered, and pulled Kirin’s arms around her waist.
“I’m pretty sure you can’t see this, so I must be hallucinating, but the reflection on the lake is just a magical,” Silke said.
Kirin followed her gaze out to the middle of the lake where she could see fractured sunlight dancing on the surface of the water and looking like crystals. “I see the sunlight on the waves.”
Silke let the towel fall off and held on to Kirin’s hands. “Something strange is happening. The light is refracted like a kaleidoscope and it’s changing colors so fast. I’ve never seen anything like this. It’s beautiful.”
Kirin felt her heart race. Maybe Silke was losing her vision or hav
ing a stroke. Except, she sounded so calm. She hugged her closer,
kissed her shoulder. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’d tell me if any
thing’s wrong.”
Silke leaned into her. “Something’s changed, I don’t know what’s hap
pening, but I’m not worried. It doesn’t hurt. It’s just a lot of colored
shapes and lights. But I feel as though my heart is expanding in a wonder
ful way. ”
“You’re probably right. Maybe it’s the cold water, but I think you should lie down.”
Silke turned and draped her arms around Kirin’s neck. “I think I’m not used to feeling this happy.” She kissed Kirin and hugged her tightly. “Maybe I should lie down.”
Silke stretched out on the long bench. Kirin picked up the discarded towel and draped it over Silke’s exquisite naked body.
Silke closed her eyes, opened them slowly, and quickly closed them. “Would you mind trying to find my sunglasses?”
Kirin tripped over her own feet to get to the bag next to the pilot’s seat. She was terrified something was wrong was Silke’s vision.
Please let her be all right
.
She handed Silke the glasses.
Silke slipped them over her eyes. “Much better, thanks. It’s easy to forget how bright the sun is on the water.” She turned her head and looked at Kirin. “Are you all right? You looked terrified.”
“I . . . I’m scared that you might be losing more of your eyesight. Or worse . . .”
Silke stuck her hand out and Kirin took it. “You’re so incredibly thoughtful and attentive. How did I ever find you?” She pulled Kirin’s hand to her lips and kissed it tenderly. “Did you ever have a moment, a magical sort of awareness where you knew instantly that your life would never be the same? Because I just did.”
“Not really.” Kirin knelt beside her and stroked the wet hair from Sil
ke’s forehead. “You think we should go back to the cottage? Maybe you should rest for a while.”
“I really feel wonderful and I’d like to finish the tour of the lake, but I suppose you’d want me to put my clothes on.”
Kirin laughed. “It’s a tough call, if it was up to me I would like nothing better than to stare brazenly at your magnificent body . . . but, I’d rather not share it with everyone.”
Silke pulled her close for another soft, sweet, seductive kiss and the delicious warmth of her soft breasts. “Oh all right, maybe later. I feel okay, so if you’ll toss me my clothes, we can continue the tour.”
Kirin groaned and fell back on the boat floor. A stunning sea gull land
ed on the windscreen and chirped musically.
Silke laughed. “Look who’s here to give us a blessing.”
Kirin shook her head. “I’m not sure . . .”
“The beautiful carved bird from Belize?”
Chapter Forty-six
THE LODGE DINING room was buzzing with conversation by the time they arrived. A
Happy 50
th
Anniversary
banner hung over the fieldstone fireplace. Rustic beams supported a vaulted ceiling. Yellowed pine tables and chairs lent a 1940’s ambiance. Silke hung back and let Kirin navigate through the guests, mostly older folk who had probably known
the Fosters for years. A handful of young families lingered from the din
ner crowd. Kirin, a natural schmoozer, seemed to know many of the older guests.
They finally found Kirin’s parents near the large buffet table covered with pastries and platters of appetizers.
“We made it,” Kirin said, giving each a hug. “I can’t believe how many people are here. You guys must know everyone.”
Her father leaned over. “When you spend a couple months up here every year for a hundred years, you get to know people.”
“Point taken. It just seems like kids my age I met up with here don’t come back much,” Kirin said. “When they do, I can hardly remember them.”
“I agree. Your generation is certainly much busier.” Her dad waved at someone shouting his name. “I’ll catch up with you later.” He went to join another group of well-wishers.
“Just one more reason to be disappointed in me,” Kirin said.
Her mom frowned. “Honey, don’t take that personally. Your dad is still having a tough time letting go of you kids. Oh, excuse me, that’s Mrs. Cummings. Why don’t you and Silke get something to drink?” She kissed Kirin’s cheek and stepped away.
“You didn’t mention why your sister Caitlin isn’t here,” Silke said. “In fact, you’ve never talked about her.”
Kirin steered her toward the bar. “It’s kind of a long story that I’ll tell you someday. Fact is, my sister got in some trouble a long time ago, and my folks refused to bail her out. She’s more or less written all of us off. Kevin keeps trying, but I’ve only talked to her maybe once or twice a year. She’s always the elephant in the room.”
Silke found a seat at a table near the staircase. From that vantage point, she could see nearly the whole room. Kirin stood with her brother, Kevin, by the cake table. Their resemblance was uncanny. Both had dark wavy hair, engaging smiles, and an easy laughter. Kevin’s wife, Brittany, stood with her mother-in-law, shaking hands with guests. Silke sipped her wine and marveled at the warm acceptance these near strangers had offered.
For so many years, she had felt like an appendage to Rachel and late
ly, an annoyance. Without realizing, she had begun to withdraw from the very people who could nurture her—her family. She smiled and returned a wave from Kirin.
The last twenty-four hours had brought clarity, not only to her situation and her feelings about Kirin, but apparently to her eyesight. It was too soon to say anything, but the episode on the lake surprised her. Even now, she hardly dared to believe that some of her peripheral vision had returned. While they were in the boat, she thought it was just an optical illusion because of the sun. Ever since they got back, little flashes of vision were clearer and longer lasting.
Her mind insisted on a healthy dose of skepticism, so she’d wait until
she could see her doctor. But since the first kaleidoscopic flashes, her vi
sion had improved. Along with it, her attraction and desire she felt for Kirin grew as well. Now, it consumed her.
She jumped when Kirin came up behind her. “Where did you come
from?”
“I had to take some things out to the kitchen and I missed you.” Kirin
pulled a chair closer and sat down. “You look pretty content. Are you hav
ing a good time?”
Silke felt her heart swell, and her eyes misted with sheer joy. “I don’t remember the last time I went this many hours without the cold-fist of fear in my gut. I’m glad you brought me along to meet your family. It’s helped me to take stock of my own life and realize what’s important.”
Kirin beamed. “And to which category do I belong?”
Silke leaned as close as she dared. “Definitely family—and I’d like to make that close family.”
Kirin held her gaze and her eyes darkened slightly. “Does that mean you’ve made a decision about our relationship?”
Silke nodded, smiling. “Hours ago. I’d be crazy to let you go or to make us wait any longer. There is no going back for me, ever. Maybe it’s foolish and maybe we’ll both regret jumping into something, but no one has ever made me feel as appreciated as you do. I’m through being a victim.”
Kirin looked down and blushed adorably. “You have no idea what that means to me.” She looked up. “You’re certain?”
“Hey, you guys. I brought you some cake before those grumpy old fishermen eat it all. Kier, you love this lemon stuff.” Kevin slid two paper plates across the table and sat on the opposite side. “So, Silke. Have you enjoyed our little senior celebration of life when you’ve been married for a hundred years?”
Silke laughed. Kevin was four years older than Kirin but more playful. “I really have. I was just telling Kirin how much it’s meant be invited to your family celebration.”
“We’re glad you could come. For one thing, Kirin had no excuse to blow us off this year and for another, I’m glad she finally found someone interesting to hang out with.”
Kirin sat up and opened her mouth.
Kevin flashed her a grin. “Just kidding. Personally, Dad and I really liked Melissa. Mom did the eye rolling.”
Kirin leaned over the table. “Don’t you have to be somewhere?”
He threw his hands up in surrender. “As a matter of fact, dear sister, I need to take Brittany back to the cabin to get her feet up.” He put his hand to the face in a theatrical aside. “First trimester swelling. You know. See guys tomorrow for breakfast?”
Silke waved. “Thanks, Kevin.” She turned to Kirin. “So, going to be an auntie?”
“I didn’t know until earlier when my mom told me the secret,” Kirin said. “They don’t want to make an announcement because Brittany has been pretty sick. You know, I’m a little excited about having some cute little Foster to spoil.”
Silke saw Kirin’s mother waving in their direction. “I think your mom needs you for something. Maybe I should say goodnight and head back to the cottage.”
“I’m sorry for the interruptions,” Kirin said. “I think you know I’d like to continue this conversation. Will you wait for me?”
Silke smiled at Kirin’s distressed expression. “Of course, I will. I’m not going to change my mind. Take your time and tell your folks I’ll see them in morning.”
Kirin disappeared into the crowd of laughing strangers, which thinned as the hour got later. A sense of relief along with a sweet melancholy coiled around Silke’s heart. It had taken weeks to battle the demons within, ignore the warning voices, and trust her heart. She sighed. Happily being
able to escape into her work provided a buffer to the overwhelming de
spair that entombed her. No matter how dark it got, Kirin had shown up to encourage and support her.
Cool night air filled her lungs as she pushed open the screen door of the lodge. The combination of fresh pine and contamination-free air was dizzying. She grabbed the rustic wood railing and gave herself over to the sense of freedom. It felt good, and she giggled. Through the screen door, the wafting air smelled of fried food, pipe smoke, and bug spray. She hoped the memory of this summer day and night would stay as vivid forever.
Once safely back in the cabin, Silke opened the doors and windows to banish the stuffiness. The sensuous warmth and darkness created a sense of anticipation. She shivered. Just as it had that afternoon in the boat, her physical desire reawakened.
She shed her clothes and stood naked in the small room lit only by the dim bathroom light. She turned slowly, relishing the wisps of night air
teasing her skin, and touched her lips. She vibrated with a new exhilara
tion and desire.
Chapter Forty-seven
KIRIN SMILED, NODDED, and looked at her watch for the hundredth time. She worried that Silke got to the cabin safely and blamed herself for
not insisting on walking her back. Only a handful of guests lingered, re
counting stories of yesteryear.
“Mom, why don’t you let me finish up and you take Dad back to the cabin?” she said.
“I’ll just say goodnight to everyone. Why don’t you take your dad back. He’s tired and won’t admit it.” Her mom kissed Kirin’s cheek and rejoined a group standing nearby.
She found her father seated in an Adirondack rocker near the door. He rocked slowly with his head back and his eyes closed. “Hey, Dad. I’m heading back to the cabin. Would you like to walk with me? Mom said she’d be along in a minute.” She knew better than to suggest that her mother had asked her to take him back.
They strolled along the wooded path, enjoying the quiet. Her dad wasn’t known for small talk so when he did speak, she listened.
“Fifty years is a long time to be with one woman. It’s also plenty of time to realize I made a damn fine choice.” He chuckled. “There sure were some rough spots where we both had second thoughts, but somehow you
just know it’ll work and you keep going. You learn to sort out what’s im
portant and what to discard. I can proudly say that I love your mother even more than I did the day I married her. Forging a relationship, just like steel, comes from high temperatures and hammering.”
Kirin thought about the metaphor as they continued to the cabin.
Just before they got to the door, he turned. “Your mother and I weren’t happy when you decided to follow that actress back to California, and I can’t honestly say I fully understand your life, but I do want you to be happy. You seem very fond of Ms. Dyson, and it appears she feels the same way.” He smiled in the dim light from inside. “I think she’s a good match for you, so you may want to think about this seriously.”
She hugged him a little tighter than usual. “Thanks. Goodnight, Dad.”
Kirin followed the path down toward the lake and the smaller Trav
eler’s cottage. The dappled surface of the lake was visible through a small opening in the towering pines, which obscured much of the starlit sky. As she got closer, she saw the source of the golden reflection that flickered between the trees. Across the bay, the dancing flames of a bonfire lit up the darkness. It was a primitive ritual that people celebrated even in modern times.
She smiled as she remembered surprising Silke with the picnic dinner at the North Point Lighthouse. Silke had grown into a metaphorical beacon for her.
The cabin was dark except for a dim light from the bathroom that outlined Silke’s sleeping body, and a wave of disappointment washed over her. She wished she’d come back sooner. Silke’s reddish-blond hair hung across her shoulder as she lay curled on her side. Instead of stroking the soft waves, she quietly slipped into the bathroom.
After a few minutes, Kirin went back outside and sat on the steps. Thoughts and concerns catapulted across her consciousness. Her father’s
words vied with the voices of her inner critic warning her of making an
other mistake and above all that, the clanging doubts about her job. Was she insane to consider a long-term relationship when she wasn’t sure of her job?
After all, Silke was a successful artist and teacher. She would likely win the NEA grant and move to Belize to pursue her art career. What chance would they have then? Besides, the ugly mess with Rachel wounded her badly. This might not be the best choice for her.
She reached behind her into the small cooler from the boat trip. Two bottles of water lay in the still cool container. She twisted off the cap of one of the bottles and took a sip.
The bonfire had dimmed and the wind shifted to the east bringing the sweet tang of burning pine branches her way. High above, the whishing sounds
of the tree boughs and needles combined with intermittent waves of laugh
ter from across the lake to make the symphony of the night forest complete. Crickets, frogs, and night birds harmonized in a perfect chorus. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply.
The creak of the screen door broke the spell.
“Are you okay?” Silke’s soft voice brought Kirin into the moment.
Kirin looked back at Silke. “I’m fine. I hope I didn’t wake you.”
Silke sat beside her, wrapped in a blanket. “I thought I heard you come in, then I must have drifted off. I’m sorry. I tried to stay up, but I guess I had too much sun and fun today.”
“I thought I was ready for bed, but after I washed up, I realized my head was still making too much noise,” Kirin said. “I decided I’d just spend a few minutes with the night and the lake. I forgot how pretty is up here. Can you see the bonfire over there?”
“Yes,” Silke said. “Suppose it’s a party of some sort?”
As they watched the flickering reflection, the moon peeked over the horizon. Kirin wrapped her arm around Silke and pulled her closer. “This is perfect.”
Silke cuddled closer and took Kirin’s hand. “I’m so happy you invited me to share this time with you and your family.”
Kirin rested her cheek on Silke’s head and inhaled the familiar warm smell. “They like you very much.”
“I’m so glad, I feel the same way. And how does their daughter feel?” Silke slipped an arm around Kirin’s waist.
Kirin felt her heart squeeze a little tighter and she let out the breath she was holding. “She’s very happy.” She squeezed Silke’s hand and kissed her forehead. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about anyone before. It’s new and a little scary.”
Silke turned to her. “Really, scary? How so?”
“I’m not sure where to go from here. No one has ever made me feel so special or cared for and . . . I want to be very careful not to screw up.” Kirin shifted so they faced each other. “I don’t have a great track record for successful relationships, but I . . .”
Silke touched her cheek and waited.
“I feel like we’ve really connected,” Kirin said. “The more I get to know you, the more special you become. It just seems we both have busy lives that take us in different directions and I don’t know how to fix that. On top of all that, I’m really not sure how you feel.”
Silke kissed her softly. “If you had asked me that question yesterday afternoon, I probably would have answered the same way you just did—unsure. But something happened today that I can’t quite describe. It was almost like a shift in energy or focus. After our swim when I was standing in the boat looking at the lake, I just knew that all these weeks of missed connections or interruptions were over. Do you ever remember hearing a Bible quote that said, ‘. . . and immediately, something like scales fell from his eyes.’”
Kirin nodded. “I think so.”
Silke stroked her cheek. “That is almost exactly what it felt like on the boat. I could see my future clearly. And when I watched you interact with your parents and their friends, I felt absolutely connected with you in an indescribable way.”
Kirin took her hand. “Hearing you say that is incredible and so reassuring.”
“Even though I haven’t shared the details about everything that went
wrong with Rachel, it has made me think long and hard about a relation
ship.” Silke lifted her eyes and the moonlight illuminated her face.
Kirin saw her pain and it went into her heart.
Silke squeezed her hand. “The simple fact you let me come to it in my own time, well, it feels right. I guess I’ve known for a long time how much I wanted you in my life and I don’t want to wait any longer.”
Kirin kissed her softly and pressed their foreheads together as she drew Silke into her arms. “I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Together I’m sure we can find a way.” She giggled. “Damn.”
“I’d really like you to kiss me now.” Silke’s slipped her hand around the back of Kirin’s head, pulled her closer, and closed her warm lips over Kirin’s, effectively silencing every thought, including the symphony of night sounds.
Kirin’s knees shook as Silke moved her hips and lips with calculated prowess. Her belly slipped down to her aching pelvis, and she gasped. “I want to spend the rest of my life in your arms.”
Silke stroked her face and added several more hard kisses. “Me, too.”
Kirin gripped Silke’s shoulders, panting. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to leave right after breakfast. I love being here with my family, but I want to be with you. We’ll have all day to be together and hopefully make some plans.” The smell of Silke’s hair and their faces pressed together kindled a spark deep inside that melted the last shreds of resistance.
Silke kissed her again, but harder. “Will you come to bed, now?”
Kirin took both of Silke’s hands and allowed herself to be pulled up and into Silke’s arms. They embraced long enough to watch the bonfire dim then Kirin followed Silke into the cabin.
Silke tossed the blanket on the bed. “Please indulge me.” She caressed Kirin’s face. “I want to make love to you. I want to show you how very much I care, and I want you to just allow me to do that.”
Kirin stood mutely but willing. The trembling gave way to submissive
ness. “I will.”
Silke slowly undressed Kirin with such tenderness that conscious thought slipped away, replaced by exquisite pleasure.
Whispered commands were obeyed until Kirin could barely respond
without a gasp or whimper. Her last memory was being completely envel
oped by Silke’s luscious body.
Chapter Forty-eight
IN SPITE OF the festivities the previous evening and the private cel
ebration in the Travelers cabin, the entire Foster Clan gathered in the lodge dining room for breakfast at eight o’clock.
“Sorry we’re late. I thought we might actually beat you guys.” Kirin pulled out a chair next to her brother.
“Good morning.” Her dad stood, smiled, and pulled a chair back for Silke. “Don’t worry, you’re not late, we just ordered.”
Kirin picked up the coffee pot and poured two cups. “I’m afraid we have to get on the road a little early.” A chorus of disappointment followed until Kevin hijacked conversation with a wisecrack.
At that moment, Silke watched the server approach with a large tray filled with plates. As soon as everyone had the correct order, she and Kirin ordered the irresistible blueberry pancakes with bacon.
“I’m so sorry you girls can’t stay longer, but am very grateful we could
provide an excuse to get our daughter up here this summer. You’re wel
come any time.” Kirin’s mother passed Silke the maple syrup. “Do you need to leave because of your art project?”
“Partially, yes. I have an assistant working on the wiring today and that’s the vital part of a lighthouse. He knows what he’s doing, but I need to do the final test because my name is going on it.” Silke smiled as a server set down the plate with two huge tantalizing pancakes along with thick-cut slices of bacon.
Brittany cleared her throat. “Kevin told me that the big sculpture out
side the UW student union is one of yours. Is that true?”
Silke swallowed and wiped her mouth. “I’m afraid so. It was one of my early projects, and my instructor encouraged me to donate it. I had no idea the university would put it someplace so public.”
Kirin beamed.
AS KIRIN NAVIGATED their way back to the highway, Silke
o
pened the window and took a deep breath. The rich earthy smells
combined with aromatic pine filled her with pleasure. A dark forest, dappled with sunlight, seemed to stretch for miles and the numerous shades of green created a palette of jewel tones that astounded her. She desperately wanted to share the news about her improving peripheral vision, but didn’t want to tempt fate. Instead, she stored the memories to share later.
“Are you really okay with leaving your family?” Silke said. “I could have stayed longer if you wanted. The project can certainly wait another day or two.”
Kirin offered her hand. “Hey, it was my idea to leave. I enjoyed seeing everyone, but honestly, I really want to spend as much time as I can with you. We’ve waited long enough to be together and I want to hoard every minute.” Her laugh sounded as though it rolled up from deep inside. “I’m insatiable.”
Silke felt her chest tighten, and she took Kirin’s hand. “About last night—”
“Last night was perfect,” Kirin said.
“Incredible. But, I’d like to explain something.” Silke loosened her seat belt and swiveled in the seat to face Kirin, then took her hand and kissed it. “Last night was wonderful. Being able to love you and not be directed was a new experience for me.”
“What?”
“Okay, bear with me. This is a little hard to explain. When I met Ra
chel, she was beautiful, dazzling—very outgoing and personable. I might have actually swooned the first time she spoke to me,” Silke said. “She was presenting a marketing seminar and just oozing self-confidence. As we dated, I obediently fell into lockstep with everything she wanted to do—happily. That got old after a few years but my training was complete. She responded to my little rebellions with sarcasm or derision and after a time, I quit trying. It wasn’t worth it.”
Silke bounced her foot and the moisture evaporated from her mouth. She sipped from her water bottle.
“I know this sounds weird, and I’m embarrassed to talk about it. The fact is, Rachel dictated just about everything in our lives . . . including how we had sex.” Relief flooded her as she waited nervously for Kirin to respond.
After what seemed like minutes, Kirin nodded. “So, does that mean you were waiting for me to take the initiative last night?”
“No,” Silke said. “I wanted to be the one to make love to you. I’ve wanted to for a long time, I wasn’t sure if I could. Just like the other night
when you put your hand on my neck, I kind of freaked out. It’s like a Pav
lovian response. I have to respond in a certain way to avoid criticism or worse . . . pain. Do you understand?”
Kirin steered the car into a vacant lot off the highway and threw the shift into park. She took off her sunglasses and closed her eyes.
Silke had no idea what was going on, but held her breath.
“I guess I always suspected there was more to the story but didn’t want to believe anyone would hurt you.” Kirin wiped at her eyes. “It breaks my heart and it makes me a really angry. I’m glad you didn’t tell me sooner, because . . . well, I don’t know.” She unbuckled her seat belt and leaned across the console. “You mean the world to me, and every day I fall a little more in love with you. I really hope you’ll be able to trust me to make love to you the way you deserve—gently, passionately, and endlessly.”
Silke’s heart threatened to burst with joy, and she wrapped her arms around Kirin. “I so wish I’d found you sooner, but I’m grateful you’re here now and I promise to try and make you happy.”
“You already do.”
One kiss became two, became four until Silke could no longer pull away. Kirin’s gentle persistence vanquished the last shreds of Silke’s deeply ingrained reluctance.
They finally stopped to take a breath.
“I believe you, but I think we should get back on the road before I lose my senses completely,” Silke said
Kirin’s lopsided smile, unfocused eyes, and breathlessness revealed the depth of her passion. “As you wish, but I’m certainly looking forward to the prospect of convincing you of my intentions.”
Silke smiled back with utter joy. “I’m fairly certain I already under
stand the full extent of your intentions.”
Kirin started the car, buckled up, and merged back onto the highway. “That’s funny, because I wasn’t sure about those intentions until just now.” She laughed then turned on the radio.
The tender shared moment settled deep in Silke’s heart as they contin
ued south toward Milwaukee.
“I GUESS I should have filled up before we left Minocqua. You need to get anything?” Kirin pulled up to the first pump and cut the engine.
“Maybe I’ll get something to drink, how about you?” Silke unbuckled and stepped out.
“Sure, surprise me.” She scanned her card and began filling the tank.
She watched as Silke entered the convenience store and smiled. A fleet
ing memory of the night before teased her. Silke’s gentle hands and soft lips had far exceeded her expectations but in light of their conversation today, Kirin could remember a few distinct moments of hesitancy. She hadn’t noticed at the time because she wasn’t paying attention to anything but the pleasure she felt from the multi-talented hands of the woman she’d dreamt about for weeks.
She admitted she’d been somewhat frustrated by Silke’s resistance to her advances. Now she understood why.
Damn that Rachel Bates
. She hoped she could drive those dark memories away and replace them with the love and passion she felt.
Silke got into the car, placed the cups in the cup holder, and opened a bag of Twizzlers. “Think we could drive back through Madison for old time’s sake?”
“Great idea. Maybe we can get something to eat there.” Kirin navigated back into traffic while trying to think of some way to broach something that had been niggling at the back of her mind. “You mentioned going back to Belize a couple of times, and I wondered if that was still your plan.”
Silke handed her a piece of candy and smiled. “It has been my goal for a long time to go down there to work for an extended period. Of course, it all depends on the grant and what happens with my house. I think my brother would like to rent it out, which is okay with me. And having some extra money would help.” She took a bite and chewed for a bit.
Kirin felt her heart squeeze a little tighter and fought against feelings of possessiveness. If anything might doom their new relationship, it would be acting like Rachel.
“But this weekend with you and your family has added a new wrinkle,” Silke said. “I’m not sure I want to be away from you for a long period of time—or even a short period.”
Her sweet expression radiated sunshine.
Kirin took her hand and kissed it. “It makes me glad to hear you say that, but I know how much being there means to you. And I have to admit, it holds a special place in my heart as well.”
She glanced over her shoulder to change lanes and pass a slow-moving travel trailer.
“I have to go to New York at the end of the week for a meeting with my publisher, which I’m
not
looking forward to. But after that, I’d like to make some plans, real plans, with you.”
After several minutes, Silke squeezed Kirin’s hand and interlaced their fingers. “I really wish I could find the words to tell you how happy I am right now. For the first time in years, I actually feel hopeful.”
Kirin held her breath and closed her eyes for just a second. She wanted to pinch herself to feel the intensity of love. Was it really possible? Was
this that one chance in a lifetime? A twinge in her chest felt painfully reas
suring.
Chapter Forty-nine
IT WAS NEARLY dark when Kirin parked in front of Silke’s now empty home. She had no regrets about spending the afternoon in Madison,
even if it meant getting home much later than planned. After all, her origi
nal intent was to spend more time with Silke and she had. She gazed at her dozing passenger. A single spot from the chocolate ice cream cone marred Silke’s white tee shirt.
She smiled.
It had been a long time since she’d spent this many hours in the car.
To ease the stiffness in her shoulders, she flexed her neck in several direc
tions. Her fatigue paled in comparison to the giddiness, nervousness, and pure joy that flowed from the past forty-eight hours.
Silke’s slightly sunburned knees were braced against the dashboard,
leaving her bare thighs within reach. It was tempting, but given their dis
cussion earlier, Kirin knew she had to tread carefully.
Groping someone while she slept might seem intrusive
.
The time would come, and she just needed to be patient a while longer, but she recognized the ache in her belly as real desire. In all her time with Melissa, she very rarely had time to feel desire. Melissa had some kind of radar honed in on Kirin’s vulnerability or weakened state, and she never missed a chance to exploit the moment. In all honesty, Melissa’s hyper-sexuality fed her ego but wore her down.
No, this relationship was better. Intimacy and tenderness filled her heart like nothing she’d ever experienced and now all she wanted was to share that love with Silke.
“We’re home, sweetie.”
Silke squinted then flitted her eyes for a minute. “I’m sorry. Can’t be
lieve I fell asleep. I’m embarrassed.”
“Don’t be. You look beautiful.”
Silke sat up, stretched, and put her arms around Kirin’s neck. “I love waking up to your face.” She kissed her. “Will you come in?”
SILKE PAUSED AS she stepped into the house. The once famil
iar smells repelled her. For seventy-two hours, her senses rejoiced in fresh air, sunscreen, bug spray, and the heady aroma of the north woods and Kirin Foster. Suddenly, the musty smell of her house felt oppressive.
She flipped the light switch and illuminated the now Spartan living room. “Come in. You can just drop that bag by the stairs. Would you like something to drink?”
“No thanks. I drank water all the way home and would like to use the bathroom.”
“You know where it is,” Silke said. “I’d really like to go out to the stu
dio and see how the boys did with my list. Meet me out there?”
Silke left her backpack in the kitchen and headed out the back door with
keys in hand. She had left detailed instructions for Roger to help him com
plete the wiring and apply a final coat of marine varnish. There
would be details to work out, but hopefully she could make the final ar
rangements for installation.
The rollup door rattled and creaked as a wave of hot humid air perme
ated with the heavy scent of varnish along with green wood and sawdust assaulted her. She took a deep breath and allowed the safety and comfort of her studio to fill her. Even without the lights, she could see the carved lighthouse propped vertically and braced with a large hanging calipers that secured it.
She gasped and held her breath. The majestic silhouette was everything she had imagined and more. The varnish was still a little tacky to touch,
but it highlighted the tongue and groove carvings along the sides. The
copper clad light fixture that adorned the top gleamed like the crown jewel. A single sheet of paper tacked to one of the side supports provided Roger’s instructions to illuminate the beacon.
From the base of the unit a coil of Romex cable stretched to her work
bench and ended with a temporary plug.
