Ballad (Rockstar #5) (13 page)

“She passed out and the doc ran some tests.”

“She’s supposed to be in remission,” I plead, panic filling my every pore, my body starting to shake.

“Remissions aren’t guaranteed, Ben. You know this. I know you read up on this shit, it’s who you are. You love someone, you know everything there is to know. She’s not in remission anymore, Ben. She’s sick,” he tells me.

I slump against the wall, all fight leaving my body. “How sick?”

“Does it matter?” he asks.

I shake my head. No. No, it doesn’t matter. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

“Because you’ve been avoiding Nicole and everyone else has been surrounding her. She’s
sick
, Ben. Do you understand what that could mean?” he asks, his tone soft. I look up at him and see the hurt. He’s hurting. For her. My girl. He was there for her.
My
girl.

I swallow hard. “I know what it means.” I stand up straight and he lets go of my shirt. I look out at the stage and for the first time I
really
look at my girl. She’s sitting. She never sits on stage. She’s pale. And she’s sad—so fucking sad. Her eyes…

“Do you—” Lucian begins but I’m already walking. I’m striding across the stage past Meggie who raises her brows. Past Jace and Trace. Behind Luce, who has turned around, along with Sera, to watch me. They don’t miss a beat—or a word—just keep right on going with their sound check.

When I get to Nicole she’s looking down. I know the second she sees my boots and realizes it’s me—she stiffens and takes a deep breath. I did that to her. I made her wary of me. I’m such an asshole.

When she looks up at me, I drop to my knees in front of her. I wrap my arms around her waist and bury my head in her lap, holding her tight. I don’t ever want to let go.

I don’t know how long I hold her before she slowly, cautiously, puts her hands on my back and I shiver. For so long I’ve wanted her hands on me—innocent, sexual, I don’t care. I just wanted her touch. And now I’ve got it.

I look up into her tear-filled eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her.

She sniffles.

“I made up excuses because I was afraid.”

“Of what?” she whispers, and now’s when I realize they’ve stopped playing.

“You. I knew if I had you, I’d never let you go. But, sunshine, you’re so young. I thought you’d be with me, get tired, and then go off wanting to live the rest of your life.” She opens her mouth and I put my index finger over it. She huffs and I smirk. She’s so damn cute. “But I’m done wasting time. I’m done being a fucking idiot.” She nods at this and my smirk grows. “Nicole, swear to Christ, you’re the most exasperating woman I’ve ever met.” She glares now. “But you’re also the sweetest, sexiest, most beautiful… you’re it for me. You walked on that bus and I felt like I was hit by a ton of bricks filled with all those red hearts you women daydream about—only these filled my belly and my heart.”

“No, sunshine, no waterworks,” I tell her when her tears begin to fall. “I know you’re with Lucian—sorta—so I’ll understand if you need some time to work things out, but I hope you’ll give me the chance I’ve been wasting since the day we met. I hope you’ll let me love you how you deserve to be loved,” I whisper against her lips.

No pause. Not even a second before she launches herself at me, her arms thrown around my neck, her legs around my waist. I sit back on my heels and hold her to me, burying my face in her neck.

“You’re so dumb, Ben Kingston,” she whispers.

I nod. “I know.”

“Is this because I’m sick?”

I shake my head. “You were sick before.”

“Then what…?”

“Let’s just say a good friend knocked some sense into me,” I tell her.

She pulls back, looking me over.

“No fists were thrown,” I tell her.

“Oh, good,” she whispers.

“What do
you
want, Nicole? Right here, right now, in this moment, what do you want?” I ask, putting it all on the line… pride, love, all of it.

She rolls her eyes. Damn, this girl. She’s fucking amazing. I grin.

“Dumbass, a true dumbass,” she tells me. Then she leans forward, her face so close her nose is touching mine. “What do I want?” she asks.

I nod.

“You. Every single dumbass, stubborn, idiotic piece of you,” she tells me.

“As far as declarations of love go, that one needs some work,” I tell her. She lifts her chin and narrows her eyes.

“You made me wait forever!” she shouts.

I nod solemnly. “I did. I’m sorry for that. More sorry than you’ll ever know. Months wasted because I thought I was doing the right thing.”

She scoffs. “From now on, I’ll make the decisions. Your version of right and wrong is warped.”

I can’t help it, I laugh. Loud and long and her smile lights me up inside. She’s my sunshine.

“Seriously,” she says. “It’s you, Ben. I knew it the same minute you did. But be sure, because I can’t—”

I cut her off with the press of my lips to hers. Her breath catches and I pull her in close, her body molding to mine, the warmth of her sunshine reaching the cold dark places within me and filling them with her sweetness.

I pull back, licking my lips, watching as she opens those beautiful eyes that are just a little dazed.

“I told you before and I meant it. I knew when I finally had you I’d never be able to let you go. This is as real as it gets. This is forever. Do you want forever with me?” I ask.

She nods frantically and I chuckle.

“That’d be a ‘yes’,” Lucy announces with a sniffle.

“Well, it’s about fucking time, Kingston,” Sera says.

I ignore them all. Instead, I pull my girl back into my arms and hold her close, breathing her in, and for the first time since we started Falling Down, I found my peace, my sunshine, and myself.

Now that the fight for Ben Kingston’s finally over, I realize just how tired I am. I’m exhausted, so exhausted that I fall asleep in the arms of the man who I’ve wanted more than I’ve wanted to breathe, the man who’s just made me his forever.

Holy Hannah.

That sucked. Hell, it still sucks. It sucks big time. But she’s happy with him in a way she never would have been with me. Knowing that doesn’t take the sting away. Looks like after the show, it’ll be a night for me to chill with Jack and Coke.

“It was a good thing you did,” Lucy tells me.

I nod, biting back the words I want to say. I want to say it’s not right that this dick screwed Nicole around for months and just like that she takes him back. He treated her like shit and I treated her like a queen—granted I’ve only known her a couple days—but still. But Lucy already knows I’m eating those words. Anyone who knows what’s going on knows that.

“I still want to punch him in the face five or a hundred times.”

Lucy laughs. “I’m sure you do.” She rubs her hand on my arm. “Your girl is out there, Lucian, and she’s waiting for you.”

“Well, I wish to hell she’d step out of the shadows so I can find her already. I’m not much on hide and go seek.”

She leans in and gives me a hug. I wrap my arms around her small frame and wonder how the hell she’s going to push those babies out—how the hell is she able to walk around with all that weight?

A growl comes from my right and I throw a grin at Jesse.

“Get your hands off my wife, Cordero.”

“Hey man, she hugged me. I’m only returning the embrace. Your wife’s really,
really
soft,” I taunt.

Lucy snickers and Jesse growls again.

“But seriously, how are you able to stand upright? Or, for that matter, how can you even
move?
You’re so damn small and that belly, those babies,” I say, making a gesture with my hands to exaggerate the largeness of Lucy’s baby belly.

“Don’t you even worry about it,” Jesse tells me, wrapping a hand around Lucy’s shoulders and pulling her into his side. “She’s getting around just fine and when she can’t, then I get her where she needs to go.”

I nod and grin. This is a Jesse Kingston I never thought I’d see.

“Good for you, man. Really. Marriage looks good on you,” I admit.

“Thanks,” Jesse mutters. “Now,” he says, scooping Lucy up into his arms, “let’s get you back to the bus so you can rest before the show tonight.”

Lucy’s smile is so wide it almost looks like it hurts. Maybe it does, but I’m sure it’s in the best way.

“Who said chivalry is dead?” she asks with a wave, and I stand here watching their retreating forms. A chivalrous Jesse Kingston. A
married
,
monogamous
Jesse Kingston. I shake my head. The man who swore all relationships were doomed to fail. He spouted that shit like it was a religion. And now, it seems, Mr. One-Night-Stand is reformed.

Where do I sign up?