Ballistic (33 page)

My parent’s deaths haunted me. I may have been a grown man when they were killed, but the little boy in me still needed his father. Like I’ve done since they died, I found myself speaking to them, knowing they couldn’t answer me. Watching her work, hell, watching her constantly, I asked my father what do you do when the woman you need doesn’t need you in return. Of course, he didn’t answer me directly, so I searched within myself and realized several things. First, Lina was not, nor would she ever be, my mother. Second, since she was a child, she’d had to fend for herself and wanted control of everything, like I do. When you have everything taken from you, control becomes a life line. I get that. Last, if I look hard enough, I knew she did need me in subtle ways. To sleep, to eat, to bring her pleasure and to anchor her. She may not have needed me like my mother needed my father, but I am needed. Maybe even more so. Lina needed me to keep functional. Taking a deep breath, I silently thanked him for listening, just in the event that he was.

Once the captain is loaded up and gone, we all convene in the kitchen. All eyes are on Lina. No doubt it’s about to get heated. Walking over to her, I pull her back to my front and hold her in a show of support. Venessa is the first to speak.

“Holy fuck
, Lina what was that?”

“That was how I get answers.”

“By giving the guy a heart attack?”

“She didn’t give him a heart attack,” Macy
says, joining the party. “He gave himself a heart attack, likely brought on by an extremely stressful situation.”

Looking directly at me
, she demands the truth, so I give it to her. “He lied,” I tell her and everyone else. “He was absent for the bust, the murders and his friends, although missed, were acceptable collateral damage.”

Rogan
grabs Venessa before she loses it and ushers her from the room. Macy and Rafe looked confused and Lina just looks sad. “Maybe we should go,” I urge her.

“Lina,” Macy
says, pulling her into a hug. “Thank you. I know that was hard for you, too. He was a father to all of us. But out of the group, you’ve spent the most time with him.”

“Venessa loves him,” she whispers
.

“Yes she does, but she loved her own parents more.” Turning toward me
, she leaves Macy’s arms for the safety of mine. She pulls my head down and whispers, “It’s time.”

“Okay
, Sherlock,” I tell her. “Okay.”

Leaving the room to retrieve Venessa, Rafe stands next to the kitchen counter I’m holding up. “She’s the real steal,” he says
, whistling. “I heard about it, never thought I’d see it, though. Is it just me or does she look different when she’s working her mojito?”

“I’ve seen it too,” I say quietly
. “But she’s back now and it’s mojo. Mojito’s are a drink.”

“Back?” he asks
, confused. “Where did she go?”

“Jonas,” Macy
says, fitting under his arm. “I’ll explain it to you later.”

“That was trippy,” he continues
. “How is she still fucking sane? Did you pick up on the weird look on her face? That female went on a field trip to la-la land and didn’t invite the rest of us.”

“We’ll talk about it later,” she says again
clearly losing patience.

“Ain’t no way you’re not cookoo for
Coco Puffs doing that shit for a living.”

“Jonas!” she growls
. “Stop.”

Ignoring them both, I wait patiently for her to return. I knew the day would come that I’d have to explain myself to Venessa
, but I sure as fuck wasn’t looking forward to it and in the meantime I wasn’t explaining shit to Rafe.

Rogan ushers her back in with Lina entering last. Venessa’s eyes are red and she’s shaking. Rogan is holding her close
, keeping her from going to that dark place she finds solace in, and I’m pretty sure if she doesn’t try and kill me for this, she could shut down and then he’d do it on her behalf.

Coming to my side and putting an arm around my waist
, Lina speaks first. “I need you to listen to Anthony,” she says, addressing Venessa specifically. “Let him speak before you cast judgment or ask questions.”

“Okay,” she says
, looking worried.

“And if you start to flip out, or you come at him
, you and I are going to have a problem. Stand there and listen please, okay?”

“The fuck
, Lina?” she growls. “I said okay, didn’t I? Spill it, Tony.”

The next half hour was spent with me spilling it.
From the beginning I explained our father’s, the bust that brought death to our doors, my role in trying to keep her from spending life in prison because of her need for justice and even how I put Rogan in her path too. Let me say, she was totally quiet, and during my explanation Lina never moved from my side either. “That’s it,” I tell her exhaling hard. “That’s the truth.”

Looking at Lina
, Venessa narrows her eyes. “You knew this, knew he was lying and kept it from me?”

“He wasn’t lying
. He was keeping you safe.”

“With you
, there are lies and truth Lina, which is it? From where I’m sitting, he fucking lied.”

Pushing away from me
, she storms up to Venessa who breaks away from Rogan. “And from where I’m sitting, had he not covered your ass, you’d be dead or in prison, Venessa. It’s not like you were careful. You used the streets to hunt in Detroit after dark. You were also careless and fucking lucky too. So let’s try something new, let’s try putting on our big girl panties and I don’t know? Saying thank you?”

“You lied to me too!” she
shouts at Lina who I can see is getting pissed.

“Is that right? I’m going to ask you a question. Have you moved
on, stopped dishing out justice? The answer is no, I know that because he’s spent years cleaning up your messes for you. He did that for
you, Kharma
.”

“Fuck you!” she yells
, pushing Lina so hard she falls on her ass.

Attempting to help her up
, she pushes me away and says, “I’m fine,” then gets back in Venessa’s face. “No, fuck
you
,” she growls. “The shit he’s done for
you,
he did to make sure you had a fucking life with
him
,” she says, pointing at Rogan. “Pay attention to where you are right now. You didn’t have shit until you met Rogan, now you do. When you’re finished blaming him for your bad choices remember he lost his family too, Venessa. Your fathers were partners. He’s spent years working on a closed case to get you both answers. No one in this room has trusted him because you didn’t bother to get to know him. His ass has been on the line for you for
ten years
.” When Venessa starts to pale, Lina doesn’t let up. “I’ve betrayed the very community I work with to get answers for you, for all of us. The captain is a piece of shit. Maybe he didn’t used to be, but he is now. You want to be pissed and point fingers, get in your god damn car and drive over to the hospital and point them at
him.
You don’t get to massage the truth when you feel like it, not when it’s staring you right in the face. You want the truth? He is the truth. Had he said anything prior to now, you wouldn’t have listened, none of you would have because the truth can fucking suck, Venessa.
”

Venessa
’s expressions change, as though she is piecing it all together and struggling, but Lina is leaving no room for argument.

“Gary didn’t find you by accident,” she says
, softening her voice. “I’ve been at this 24/7 and these events aren’t coincidence. Gary, Briggs and Ben add it up. They were bought off. Number three that hurt Macy? He was a cop paid to do it or die if he didn’t. Whoever is pulling the strings is using cops Venessa, a lot of cops. What we’re facing is survival of the fittest and we can win. I wouldn’t lie to you, you know that. Listen to me, it’s us against them now. There isn’t a side anymore. It’s do or die now. In case anyone is listening, someone wants each of us dead.”

“What about Jules?”
Venessa asks, looking devastated.

“Jules is a whole other story, one I’ll explain soon
, but her situation doesn’t really factor in here just yet. I haven’t found the connection but, I will.”

“You did all that for me?” she asks me quietly
.

“I did,” I answer her and then she looks back at Rogan who nods
, giving her the thumbs up. Looking at Lina, she just smiles and cocks her head toward me, letting her know that it’s okay.

Taking several small steps
, she’s standing in front of me looking defeated and sad. “Thank you, Tony,” she whispers for me to hear. “I misjudged you bad, yeah? I’m really sorry.”

Pulling her to me
, I tell her the truth. “Nothing to be sorry for, Venessa, I watched your back for a while, is all. I just wanted you to be safe and happy.”

“I am,” she says
, squeezing me. “Are you?”

G
lancing over at Lina, I see joy in her eyes, not jealousy, not rage. “Yes,” I tell her. “Extremely.”

“Then I’m willing to look past the fact that you used the stories I shared with you against me for personal gain. You’re lucky I don’t slit your throat for using my sister for personal gain too.
Good thing she’s into you too yeah?” nodding to her with a smirk, she continues. “Pretty happy I didn’t have to kill you, Tony. That would have kinda sucked for me. But just know that for her, I would have.”

Clearing his throat
, Rogan no doubt wants his lady back. Releasing her, she wipes her eyes and secures herself to his side. “You didn’t want my woman, did you?”

“No,” I answer him
. “I didn’t. I just wanted her safe. I consider her a friend.”

“Alright then,” he says
, clearly satisfied. “What else you two got?”

We spelled it out. Every detail we have so far. No one interrupted, no one doubted her. How could you? When it comes to solving mysteries, no one can compete with Sherlock.

“How are you?” she asked and I wished I’d had a good answer to give her. Something positive, something to make her proud of me. But the fact was, I had nothing to be proud of because once again I was stuffing my shit into a bag, readying myself for another walk of shame. “Swell,” I mumbled, not wanting to wake the nameless guy asleep on the couch. “Everything okay Red?”

“Why are you whispering?”

“I’m not whispering,” I whispered. “I’m using my inside voice,”

“Where are you right now?”

“Uh, inside?”

“Lina,” she
growled. “Tell me.”

Closing the door behind me and walking down the steps, out the door and down the street to my truck
, I looked up at the cross streets and mumbled my location. “You’re in Ferndale because?”

“Red,” I groan
ed. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to.”

“I asked
, therefore, I want an answer.”

“You already know the answer,” I remind
ed her. “Don’t make me say it.”

“What’s his name?”

“Dunno.”

“What does he do?”

“Dunno that either.”

“Were you safe?”

“Both mags were loaded with one in the chamber. Yes I was safe.”

“Dammit Lina,” she
growled.

“Gotta go Red, thanks for the call.”

Disconnecting I sat in my truck with my head on the steering wheel and whispered, if only to myself, “Please don’t be disappointed in me, Jules.”

Pulling up to Max and Jules
’ place, I take in the neighborhood and also replay the hugs and I love you’s the girls gave me before I left. Now I’m feeling all emotional and shit. Hugs make me so mushy on this inside. No one plans to visit the good captain, although, I don’t think any of them actually hopes he’ll die, except maybe me and Jules. But Macy will check on him, there’s no way she won’t. It goes against her nature.

As soon as my door slams
, Jules comes out looking bright and happy. She’s got her mobility back, but Max is right behind her, making sure she doesn’t overdo it. I’ll admit it, I really like Max.

“Thank god,” she says
, hugging me. “He’s driving me nuts.”

“I can hear you,” he says
, shaking Anthony’s hand.

“I wasn’t trying to be quiet,” she says with sass. Taking a seat on their big porch
, we make small talk while my eyes roam the neighborhood. It really is quite gorgeous and I find myself curious about the neighbors.

“Sherlock,” he says
wanting my attention. As soon as I finished scanning the neighbors landscaping I was going to answer, I swear.

“Ow fuck! Did you just pinch me?”

“You weren’t listening.” He says clearly annoyed with my focus being elsewhere.

“You could tap me,
text me, clap real loud, or I don’t know, be patient? But for fuck’s sake, stop with the pinching.”

“Finish filling them in,” he orders me
. “I’m taking you out after this.”

“You are?” I ask
, clapping. “Where are we going?”

“Lina,” Jules
says. “Focus.”

“Hater,” I grumble
. “Captain’s full of shit, had a heart attack in front of the group so the interrogation was thwarted. Quite clever really, he timed that well. You already know Hank was making money off Lush by paying cops off. Macy’s drug hasn’t been on the scene since your showdown and I’m guessing that isn’t the motivator for this guy. Still looking for the string puller, who, by the way, I’m positive is the one paying cops off. Hence where Hank got the idea from, because the man wasn’t all that original.  Nothing personal, Max. Whoever this guy is has pull with the department and convinced cops either by threat or the almighty dollar, to off each other to save their own asses. I’ve got several lined up on the side of good and I’m close to figuring it out. But getting through all the intel sober is tricky,  time consuming and boring.”

“Bishop said they’re getting so many calls they can’t keep up,” Max
says, pulling Jules onto his lap. “Saint said you did some demolition derby recently. He also said it was really fucking impressive.”

“
It’s true, I have skills.”

“When were you going to mention you killed a cop
, Lina?” Jules asks, leaning forward to face me.

“Uh
, now?” I offer, but she isn’t convinced.

“Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you killed a cop.”

“I killed a
dirty
cop who happened to hurt Mrs. Mathers.”

“Who’s Mrs. Mathers?” Max
asks.

“Her truck
, which is named after her favorite rapper’s mother.” Anthony confirms.

“You named your truck after Eminem
’s mother?”

“We’re getting sidetracked here,” I announce
. “How much did you give for this house?”

“About seventy grand, eight years ago
. Why?”

“It’s a nice house,” I tell him
. “I like your porch.”

“Thanks?” he says
, looking at Jules who doesn’t get it either.

“
The captain is in the hospital again, Venessa knows he’s crooked and about Tony watching her back. Am I missing anything?”

“I’m closing in on the bad guy. He’s going out of his way to get my attention
, but I’m way smarter than he is,” I offer. “Oh, and did I tell you Anthony’s my boyfriend now, who, by the way, wants me to birth a major league baseball team?”

“She’s exaggerating,” Anthony
says, lightly pinching me again when their jaws drop. “I said if it happened, it happened. But I do love her baseball references.”

“Babies?” Jules
asks, looking back and forth at us. “Babies?”

Pointing over my shoulder at him
, I tell her, “He says I’m a natural.”

“You are,” she says
. “But babies
now
?”

“I’m still on my depo so, if his batters can hit that shit out of the park
, then I guess I’ll yell homerun and call it good.”

“Depo?” he asks angrily
. “What the fuck is depo?”

“Oh
, I didn’t mention that?” I ask innocently. “It’s a form of birth control. I get the shot every three months to prevent the oopsies. A modern girl can’t be too careful, because let’s face it, I’m proof accidents
do
happen.”

“You’re unbelievable,” he says
, moving me away from him. “I’m the one who plays games? You don’t know who
I
am? I have no god damn idea who you are other than a disappointment. Congratulations, you pulled one over on me. You win and we’re leaving. Let’s go.”

Looking over at Jules
, I ask her as he storms to the car, “I fucked up didn’t I? How did I mess that one up?”

“Uh…”

“Talk to him, Lina,” Max advises. “He’ll be fine. He’s just upset right now.”

Nodding to them, I walk to the car
, opening my own door, getting in and buckling up. I feel Max’s lie burning in my stomach. I fucked up, but I didn’t mean to do it.

What I did need
is a fucking instruction manual.