Barefoot and Lost (37 page)

The other young lad in
with Lionel has still not been identified, but he is one of five others we have found, doubled up in one coffin. After a proper post mortem it was discovered that they had been used for sexual pleasure. Do you understand
Phil
, how terrible this whole thing has been, and why I went to such lengths to protect you?’

     ‘I think so, I don’t understand what they made the children do, was it like what
Flynn
did to Lion?’

     ‘Yes, and much worse, when you get older you will understand, I am not prepared to go into detail, some things I would not even repeat to
June
.’

     ‘My God John, do we have to hear any more?’

     ‘No, there is not much more that I am prepared to reveal, but to answer
Phil
’s question about sentencing. No one has been sentenced for Lionel’s murder, we were unable to produce conclusive evidence, but the driver has been sentence
d
, to three years for man slaughter, because he locked the boot knowing Lionel was in there, and a further three years for his attempt to knock down constable Harper. Altogether we arrested twenty eight people, of those, seventeen have been sentenced to prison, five have been given suspended sentences, and six got off Scot free. We know they are guilty so will just have to keep a close watch on them. They will slip up and then we shall have them.’

     ‘What about
Flynn
, did he get off, what about Mam?’

     ‘No;
Murdock
, alias
Flynn
, is in Wormwood Scrubs for the next five years and
Alice
Miller
is doing three years in
Holloway
.’

     ‘That’s fantastic; I hope they both rot there.’

     ‘
Phillip
that is not a very nice thing to say, just lets hope they learn from the experience.’

     ‘They won’t
June
, it is part of their make up, and they just can’t help it. Keeping them locked up keeps them away from kids, but it is almost certain they will offend again. We will then have to start the whole process again to keep them off the streets.’

     ‘Captain; now
Saint
Stephens
is closed, what has happened to
Mr.
Simmons
, and the others that weren’t crooks?’

    ‘Well,
Simmons
, not his real name, was an undercover man from Scotland Yard; he is probably doing what he is good at somewhere else. As for the other staff, I have no idea, probably got local jobs, there is plenty of work about now the war is over.

     ‘Wow, a spy, I’d like to be a spy that would be fantastic.’

     ‘I’m sure it would Phil, but it would involve you in
things you might not like doing,
 

then how would you deal with it. W
ell I must be off
,
thanks for the tea June.’

     ‘Thank you
John
, for taking care of this young man.’ Captain stands and shakes everyone’s hand.

     Thank you all for your cooperation; I’ll see myself out. By the way, Phil should be safe now, just keep an eye on him, for the next couple of weeks. Don’t let him go to the baths on his own. See you there Thursday night club night, don’t forget.’ Captain opens the back door and climbs the iron steps, looking very tired.

     ‘I can’t believe you threw away an opportunity to be educated at one of the best public schools in
Britain
, all because of your misguided pride. What is more, you were getting it free, the parents of those boys pay several thousand
pounds a year for the privilege and you threw it away, you foolish boy.’

     ‘Reg leave it, I’m sure
Phillip
realizes the error of his ways.’

     ‘I don’t know what you are talking about, what mistakes, what
errors did I make?
I punched a bully and I’d do it again. As for education, I got that every day, with the boys that their dads paid for. I had the company of a very nice lady who taught me to play chess, and I didn’t have to clean the boots of bloody Bateman, where did I go wrong? If you don’t believe me take a look at my school books, you will see how well I have done. If you want to make me into a toffee nose then-------‘I can feel myself about to cry with anger, grabbing my suitcase from the floor I race upstairs to my room, where I throw myself on the bed.       

     I’m hungry but I’m not going down, I have no idea of the real time, the alarm clock had stopped at ten past two. At first I thought the hand had fallen off again but, when I moved them I could see they hadn’t. I have tried to work out what time it could be, we finished school lessons at four, fifteen minutes to see
Mr.
Saville
, twenty minutes to pack and say goodbye, half an hour to drive home then say, an hour to hear about the trial. I’ve been up here about half an hour. I decided to set the clock at half six, it now says twenty to eight, no wonder I’m hungry.

     I am battling with myself, one half is telling me to go down and get something to eat, and my other half won’t let me. I think I get my stubbiness from Gran; she wouldn’t go to the doctor when everyone said she should. I am fed up with swinging the aeroplanes, looking around the room I notice two added pictures where Mum and Dads photo’s are.

A closer look
shows them
to be a certificate for breaking the under twelve breast stroke record the other is a gold winner’s medal, with my name engraved on it. I feel happy and the half of me that wants to go downstairs has won.

     I am jus
t about to open the door when,
I hear June on the stairs; just managing to dive back into my bed to save face
,
I hear her pause at the door before she knocks.   

     ‘Phillip, are you asleep
,
can I come in?’

     ‘Come in, I’m not asleep, should I be; what time is it?’

     ‘Twenty five to nine, I thought you would come back down. I’ve brought you a sandwich and some cocoa you’re bound to be hungry.’

     ‘Thank you, I’m starving actually.’

     ‘Missing one meal doesn’t make you starving. Reg wants you to apologize for your outburst, he is not used to being spoken to like that, so follow me back down and say sorry.’

     ‘I will only if he apologizes for calling me a foolish boy.’

     ‘Don’t you think you were, throwing away such an opportunity?’

     ‘No, because every one is calling me foolish when they do not know the facts, they weren’t there to see what happened.’

     ‘Then come back down and explain your position, then we can all decide if we have misjudged you; then we will be able to put this thing to bed, do you agree?’

     ‘
I agree, I’ll be down in a minute, I want to gather my school books to prove I’m right.
’

    Reg is sitting by the fire; he looks like a sad cartoon character when they draw them with a cloud over their head. As I walk in he turns to me, ‘Well what do you have to say to me’

    ‘I’m not going to say sorry, I want to explai----’

    ‘Don’t be insolent, I demand an apology.’

    ‘In that case I will go back up to my room.’ I turn to go out of the door but
June
grabs my arm

     ‘Will you two hot heads calm down, nothing will be resolved like this; Reg, please listen to what Phillip has to say then, if you still feel angry, you can tell him so.’ Reg grunts, I take it to be a yes, taking a deep breath I can see I have Reg’s attention.

     ‘I arrived at the school at a quarter to eleven, I spent ten minutes with the Principal, nothing was mentioned about fagging or tradition, even if he had, I wouldn’t have known what it meant, they would have had to explain it to me. I was then shown to my bed in a dormitory, where three other boys were already asleep. I was woken; it was still dark, by someone shaking me, this person that sounded as though his mouth was full of marbles, was asking me who I was. I attempted to sit up but he put his foot on my chest and pushed me back down and told me, because I was the youngest, I was to come whenever he called, to do whatever he demanded. I told him to get lost; he removed his foot to hit me. I hit him first; he knocked me out and kicked me when I was on the floor. Nobody said anything about tradition, all I was doing was defending myself. I was then sent to live with the Matron, where I did all of the house work, entertained myself by doing exercises to keep fit, because I wasn’t allowed to mix with the toffs, except in class, where I did my lessons every day, doing excep
tionally well. I learnt so much. H
ave a look at my school books if you don’t believe me, how does that make me a fool?’

     Reg looks at me without saying a word, I can see he has softened, that little cloud above his head has disappeared, June takes hold of me and gives me a hug,

     ‘
Phillip
, you are an extraordinary boy what do you think Reg?’

     ‘I’ll reserve judgment until I have seen the school books.’ I can see he is only saying that to save face. Spreading my books on the table, I hand him
the top one which is English.
Reg says nothing, he just looks at each book in turn, June and I stand there waiting for some reaction, the silence is deafening. Reg puts down the last book, extends his hand and we shake.

     ‘Thank God that is over, would you two like a cup of tea?’

     ‘I’d like a whisky, please
June
.’

     ‘Can I have another cocoa please?’

    
Anoth
er school, this time it is the G
rammar, I don’t like it very much. There are twenty eight in my class, the school work is similar to the private school, but probably a little behind, I’m going over things I have already done so
I’
m finding it boring. I started off by putting up my hand when a question was asked, until one kid called me a smart arse,
my first reaction was to hit him but thought better of it,
so I have decided to wait until they catch up with
me;

    
I have made friends with another Michael this time a Michael Stanton. He is not in my class, he is in 1A. He lives up on the Ridgeway and comes to school on a bike, I wish I had one. It is only three weeks to Christmas, I’ve been hinting, and saying, if I saved all my pocket money I wonder how long I would have to save to buy a second hand one. Who knows, Father Christmas may have heard me. 

     For me to go to Michael’s house I will have to catch a bus, he came to mi
ne last Saturday but there is’n
t much to do here in this house as we are not allowed to make a noise. I don’t know why, there are no guests anymore.
Michael
doesn’t like swimming so we went down the beach and skimmed stones. It was cold and not much fun, then he had to get home before it got dark, therefore he had to leave at three thirty.

     My bedroom at the top of the house is freezing, and the wind howls over the gable roof, rattling my dormer window, I don’t like it. I’m not scared, but I must admit that
Ted
and I hide under the blankets. When I get up at seven thirty it is still dark, I am
freezing. By the
time I’
m
dressed my teeth are chattering, I can’t get down to the kitchen fast enough, it is the only room in the house that has a fire lit. Next Saturday I am moving down to the first floor, to a big bedroom, across the landing from
June
and Reg. It won’t be mine, but it will be warm because there is a fireplace in it.

    
June
is working full time at a clothes shop, she leaves with me when I go to school but doesn’t get home until gone six, and she is always very tired. Reg is looking after the house, but there is little to do because there are no guests. They have all been posted elsewhere, or have been sent home, demobbed I think they call it. Reg hardly ever talks to me, he seems very worried and is always complaining if some one leaves open a door, he shouts  ‘Shut that damn door do you think we have coal to burn?’ I thought that is what you did with coal, but I know what he means.

     I have spent a couple of evenings with Pop, it is nice and cosy in his house because it is a lot smaller, there is always a good fire burning. I told Pop that I don’t think
June
and Reg really want me now. He told me not to be silly; they are going through a bad patch, with no guests and no sign of any coming. It is a big house to look after and, without income, it is only natural that they are worried. I’m wondering if they can afford to keep me, and send me to university like they said they would.

     What if that horrible lady from the council finds out, then what, where will I be sent? I really do wish I was with the others at
Dr
Barnardos
; at least I would be with friends. I miss
Rachel
, I wonder if she is missing me. I would write to her but I don’t know where she is, Barnardos in
Kent
, but there is probably more than one. I wish I had taken notice of where we were going before I was smuggled out. 

I have asked
June
, she said she would find out, but that was weeks ago. When I reminded her she said she hadn’t forgotten, and would do it when she had time. Reg has a lot of time, when I asked him he said,
June
is looking into it. I’ve decided to find out myself, I’m not sure where to start, but I think the Super must know so, on my way home from school tomorrow, I’m going to the police station.

      After Christmas I think I am going to write to Awful and see if he will take me to
America
,
but, was he only saying that because he felt sorry for me? I don’t think so; he made a special trip here to tell
June
he would take me if they weren’t allowed to keep me. If he agrees, when would it be? He could be in
Berlin
for years. I’m fed up, things were so happy here before Gran died, but now there is no happiness, June is always tired and Reg never speaks to me, unless it is to tell me not to do something I’m doing, that is annoying him. The only one that has time for me is Jet. 

     On Thursday we break up for Christmas holidays, I’m not looking forward to it because I don’t know what I will do with myself. Michael Stanton is going to Helston, in,
Cornwall
, to stay near where his dad is station
ed, he is a pilot in the
Navy;
they are g
o
ing
so
they can have Christmas together. If I get a bike I’ll have nowhere to go, no one to visit, it will be just as usual me, walking with Jet, stopping at every lamp post. How does he manage to pee so often?

      At the police station I’m surprised to see Constable Harper, ‘Hello young Milligan, what can I do for you?’

      ‘Hello Constable Harper; it’s Snell,
Phillip
Snell
; are you better?’

      ‘It’s always been Milligan to me; just let’s say it is your pet name, eh! Well, not one hundred percent, but they have given me desk duty here, three days a week, to break me in
.
I
’m very grateful, I’m normally very active
, sitting around at home, getting under the wife’s feet was doing neither of us any good, so here I am. Now what is it you want, you’re not being pursued are you?’

     ‘No, I’m not running away from anyone, I wanted to see the Superintendent.’

     ‘Now, why would that be, he is a very busy man?’

     ‘I wanted to know where the other boys and girls went to after they raided the home. I was brought here, but they all went to a Dr Barnardos in Kent somewhere and I want to
write to them, to tell them I’m okay and that I miss them.
’

     ‘I see, seems like a reasonable request so I’ll tell you what I will do, you come back on Monday and, in the meantime, I will track them down; how about that then?’

     ‘Thank you
Mr.
Harper
, see you Monday. You know, I thought you were very brave, trying to stop that car on your own.’

     ‘Thank you but, as a policeman you act on impulse, it is in the training you know.’

     ‘Yeah
, I suppose, but still very brave of you, bye, see you Monday.’

     ‘Bye Milligan, Monday, after twelve.’

     From the police station across the cricket ground I can see the back of our house; all the lights are on, I wonder why, what is Reg doing? Outside number twelve are two cars and a van with Regal Productions written on it, all the lights are on at the front as well. Curious, I sneak down the steps, looking through the kitchen window I can see Reg, talking to a big lady with bright red hair piled on top of her head. Out of view there is someone else, standing in the doorway to the passage.

     As I open the back door they turn to me, ‘Ah Phillip this is Florence Rhodes and James Cutler, they and their company are staying with us over Christmas; this is Phillip my son.’ I say hello. 

    
Company, what do they mean? I needn’t have wondered, ‘
Florence
is the production manager for the Pantomime at White Rock Pavilion, so,
Phil
it looks like, you are back in your old room for a couple of weeks.’
Florence
holds out her hand I take it. 

     ‘Oh, you are so big and strong, you don’t have to move out you can cuddle up to me if you like.’ Reg gives a look of horror, I can feel myself blushing.

     ‘Now see what you have done Flo, you have embarrassed the lad; take no notice
Phil
,
Florence
is only joking.’ He holds out his hand, ‘I’m
James
Cutler
I am the music director, you can share with me,’ seeing my look, ‘only joking.’ Everyone laughs, I do as well but not sure why, it didn’t seem very funny to me.

    ‘Reg, do you want me to move my things?’

    ‘Already done, you had better get your school clothes off and get back down here and give me a hand, Tessa will be here in a few minutes to help out this evening.’

     On the way up to my room there are peop
le everywhere, calling to each
other. A very pretty lady with hardly any clothes on
has just come out of the bathroom; I can’t take my eyes off her she says hello as she passes me. I watch her bottom, in shiny knickers; wriggle as she walks along the landing, drying her hair as she goes. At her room she turns, leans back and looks at me then, gives me a big wink, blows a kiss and closes the door behind her, I race to my room getting redder as I go.

     The house has suddenly come alive, it is happy again. There are thirty two people in the company, for the past three days they have been rehearsing and have been out from eleven in the morning until round about nine in the evening. To night, Friday, is opening night, we have been given free tickets, I’m really excited, I have never been to a Pantomime, this one is Cinderella, I know the story, in fact I have lived the part with Mrs. B, but I don’t quite know what to expect in a pantomime.

    
The three of us are making our way back home arm in arm, June and I faking a limp to match Reg’s genuine limp, the wind is blowing off the sea, stinging my ears and nose.

    
June says
‘You certainly enjoyed that Phillip; I haven’t
ever seen you laugh so much?’

     ‘It was fantastic. W
hy was Julia being the prince, was the man actor sick or something?’

     ‘No, that is what pantomime is; the leading man is always played by a girl. Did you notice that the ugly sisters were
Fred
and
Charlie
, they are always played by
men?
’

     ‘You’re not serious, you’re joking?’

     ‘I’m serious, why would I joke about something like that?’

     ‘I don’t know, but
Fred
and
Charlie
are both little men, and the ugly sisters were so big and fat.’

     ‘They wear lots of padding, which is very heavy, both
Fred
and
Charlie
, although quite small, are very fit, they have to be, I’m sure you must have noticed their muscles?’

     ‘The best bit was when those men were wall papering the hall and pasted Buttons behind the wall paper. ‘Then he burst out, like a ghost just as Baron Hardup came into the room, it shocked him so much he fell back and sat in that bucket of paste, it was so funny I nearly choked, laughing.’

     ‘Certainly was funny, but very predictable.’

     ‘What do you mean?’

     ‘Well, you know what is going to happen.’
     ‘Yes Reg it is, but don’t you think that’s what makes it funny? It is the same as the dialogue being in rhyme, you know what the next line is going to be, that is the charm of panto.’

     ‘Yes
June
, suppose you are right, hadn’t thought of it like that.’

     ‘
June
, do you think we could go and see it again?’

     ‘Ask
Florence
yourself, she may say yes if, you ask.’

       I have counted my pocket money; I have one pound seven and six. I have to buy a present for both
June
and Reg a
nd have no idea what to get.
I’ve walked up and down the counters, in  Woolworth’s trying
get an idea  of what I could buy but
all I can see are heels and soles for shoes, tacks, ribbons, a necklace, made from sea shells
which
I
don’t think
are
real
shells, I just don’t know. Maybe I could
make something, but what? I feel defeated.