Bastard (40 page)

“What are the risks and side effects?” Carter asks. I’m glad he’s got it together enough to ask questions. My mind is on overload at the moment. 

“The risks are minimal. That’s why I’ve chosen this avenue instead of surgery. The tumour is small so you’ll be receiving small doses of radiation over a six-week period. Longer if required, but I’m pretty confident it won’t be needed. The radiation will kill off any cancer cells and hopefully prevent it from growing or spreading. As for the side effects, you may not experience any. People react quite differently to the treatment. You may feel nauseous, or have a loss of appetite. It’s important you eat correctly whilst undergoing the radiation therapy. There’s a list of foods and things you should avoid in the package. You may experience fatigue and some hair loss, but again, every case is different. Your skin on your head may become dry and itchy, but there are creams that can help with that. All in all, nothing too serious. The benefits far outweigh all of that.”

There’s so much to take in it’s making my head spin. If this radiation therapy is going to cure me, then I’ll take any side effect they want to throw at me. In the grand scheme of things, if it’s going to save my life I don’t really care.

“Everything you should and shouldn’t do is clearly outlined in the pamphlets inside the envelope. Please read up on them. It’s best if you know everything going into this.”

“We will,” Carter assures him. I’m feeling very overwhelmed by it all.

The doctor must see the indecision on my face because he adds, “You’re young and healthy. You have everything on your side, Indiana.” He gives me a reassuring smile as he passes me the envelope. “I’ll get you that script for the steroids.” I watch as his fingers move over the keyboard in front of him before he reaches for the printed script in the tray. “If you have any concerns after reading through the information, don’t hesitate to call me. It’s pretty straightforward and should answer any questions you may have.”

“Thank you,” I say as he leans over the desk handing me the script.

“I’ll get you to make an appointment with me for one week’s time, and we can discuss any of your concerns and get you prepared to start the treatment the following week. What type of work do you do?”

“I’m between jobs,” I admit. I still can’t believe Mark fired me, the arsehole. It’s not like I could’ve kept working there under the circumstances, I suppose, but I’m eager to find something else. I love what I do. I miss my animals.

“Well maybe that’s a good thing. You’re going to need plenty of rest during the course of the treatment, so maybe you should put that off for a few months. Or at the very least, find casual work.” Thankfully I live at home with my dad, so I can survive without money for a little longer. I do have savings I can dip into if needed.

When he stands, Carter and I follow. Carter reaches for his hand first before I do the same. “Thanks, doc,” Carter says as we’re leaving.

As soon as we exit the building, Carter pulls me into his arms before swinging me around. “I’m so fucking happy,” he says before placing me back on my feet. “Well I’m happy things aren’t worse than we thought. I still hate that you have to go through this.” He cups my face, giving me a sad smile. “You’ve got this in the bag. You know that right?” he adds confidently as he pulls me into a crushing hug. “I’ve gotta call your dad. He’s waiting to hear back from me.”

I smile as he releases me and pulls out his phone. Although what lies ahead is daunting to say the least, his happiness is infectious.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Carter

We stop off at the pharmacy on the way home and pick up the steroids. I can’t wipe the smile off my face. I know we still have a long road ahead, but after today’s results I’m hopeful. She’s tough. My fiery little kick-arse. I have every confidence she’ll come out of this cancer free. I’m not even going to entertain the alternative. I refuse to go there. I’ve just got her back.
I won’t lose her again.

“You okay?” I ask when we pull into her driveway. She’s been pretty quiet all the way home. Well, ever since I told her I’d be heading back to Newcastle later today. I wish I could stay longer, but my shop needs me. She’ll always be my first priority, but I have a backlist of clients since I’ve cancelled so many appointments. I’m going to be taking a lot of time off when the treatment starts, so I’ll need to stay on top of it until then.

Doesn’t she realise how hard it’s going to be for me being away from her?

“I’m fine,” she replies reaching for my hand and forcing out a smile. She’s not fucking fine. Why do chicks say that shit?

“You sure? You know you could always come home with me. I’ll have you back in time for your appointment next week.” Her smile widens when I say that, and I can tell she’s giving it some serious thought. I’d love to take her back with me. I’m not sure why I didn’t think to ask her before now. I guess I was scared she’d say no.

“I don’t know,” she answers with a shrug. “You’ve got work every day. I’m only going to get in your way.”

“Bullshit. I live above my shop. I converted it into an apartment when I bought the building. I’ll be right downstairs. You can come and go as you please. Or I can come upstairs in between clients. The beach is across the road, and I have a small grassed area out the back for LJ.” I sound so fucking pathetic the way I’m rattling everything off in the hope she’ll say yes. Taking her home with me is a brilliant idea. I want her by my side, in my space. I need it. I’m not going to be able to concentrate all week having her so far away from me. “Please say you’ll come,” I beg, clutching her hands in mine. “If you hate it up there, I’ll bring you straight back.”

“If I’m with you, I won’t hate it,” she admits.

“Then you’ll come?”

“I’ll come.” Before she has a chance to say another word, my mouth is on hers. I can’t believe she’s agreed to come back with me. I can’t wait to show her my place, my work, the area where I live. I’m fucking beaming like a fool when I pull out of the kiss. I’m deliriously friggin’ happy.

This just proves she’s the one. Once upon a time, the thought of sharing my life and my home with someone would’ve freaked me the hell out. It’s something I wouldn’t have even considered. Now I can’t wait to get up there. I can’t wait to go to bed with her every night, wake up with her every morning, and to share my days with her.

“Why don’t you go inside and pack? I’m gonna see if there’s anything my mum needs doing before I leave, then I’ll come over and get you.” I cup her face in my hands, placing one more kiss on her lips.

“Okay. Can I have my underwear back?” Her comment makes me chuckle.

“I’ll think about it.”

“You better pack me some, mister,” she demands, reaching out and pinching my arm. “I mean it.”

“Ouch,” I say with a chuckle. “Your fingers are almost as lethal as your knee.”

••••

After I run a few small errands for my mum and take her garbage out to the trash bin, I head towards my room. The quicker I get packed up, the quicker I can take Indi home with me. I’m really looking forward to having her up there. Hopefully she’ll want to stay the whole week, and I can bring her back for her next appointment with the oncologist.

After throwing my stuff into my bag, I open the bedside drawer next to my bed to retrieve my sketchpad. Inside I find a small piece of paper sitting on top.

You can’t tell me where and how I choose to get pleasure!

As soon as I read it, I start laughing.
Like hell I can’t.
I can, and I damn well will. Of course, when I rifle around in the drawer I find the vibrator missing. I’ll get it back. You just wait and see.

After the rest of my things are packed, I head towards the kitchen to say goodbye to my mum. I’ve seen a vast improvement in her this visit. She still has her moments, but I’m confident in time she’ll get past this. He was not the man she thought he was. When I see her shedding tears for him, I want to tell her the truth about what type of person he really was, but that’s only going to upset her more.

••••

“Did you pack the information from the doctor?” I ask Indiana as I place her suitcase in the trunk of my car.

“No I didn’t. I better go grab it.” I smile as she turns and runs back into the house.

“Look after my girl,” Ross says as I reach for his hand.

“You don’t need to ask me that. Of course I will.”

“I know,” he replies placing his hand on my shoulder. “You’re good for her, son.” His words make me smile. She’s good for me is what I want to say, but I don’t.

While Indi hugs her father goodbye, I pull my seat forward so LJ can climb in the back. “There’s some containers in the freezer with that pasta dish we had a few nights ago, and the chicken casserole from the weekend, if you don’t feel like cooking while I’m gone. Oh and—”

“I’ll be fine, Pumpkin,” he says cutting her off and wrapping her in his arms. “I survived when you were away at college didn’t I?”

“I guess,” she admits with a giggle. “You should invite Elizabeth over for dinner one night if you get lonely.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he chuckles, kissing the top of her head. I open Indi’s door for her when she walks around to the passenger side. I can’t even put into words how excited I am that she’s coming home with me. I feel like a little kid on Christmas morning.

Once I’m seated in the driver’s side, Ross leans in my window. “I’m only a phone call away if you need me,” he says, soft enough for only me to hear. I know there’s an underlying meaning to his words. He has no reason to worry. I intend to keep a very close eye on Indiana while she’s staying with me. I’d never let anything happen to her. I think Ross knows that.

••••

For most of the drive we travel in a comfortable silence. Except for when Indi is singing along to the radio. It’s sweet. I love how relaxed she is around me. There’s nothing pretentious about her at all. What you see is what you get.

“I can’t wait to see your place,” she says placing her hand on top of mine. “Meg and I went to Newcastle a few years ago for a girl’s weekend, when I was at Uni.” I look over at her and smile. I would’ve been living up here then. If only I’d known. It would’ve blown my mind if I had ran into them.

“How is Meg? Do you still see her?” When we were kids those two were always together.

“She lives overseas with her husband, Drew. We still talk on the phone when we can, but it’s not the same.” You can clearly hear the sadness in her voice as she talks. “They move around a lot, and with the time differences between countries, it’s hard. I miss her so much.” I bet she does.
Meg married?
For some reason I can’t picture that.

“Does she know about the tumour?”

“No. She has her own worries. She doesn’t need to be burdened down with mine,” she replies giving me a half-hearted smile.

“Regardless, Indi. She’s your friend, she’d want to know.” She shrugs at my reply.

“If the opportunity arises next time we talk, I’ll tell her.” I can see this subject is getting her down, so I quickly change it to something else.

“I can’t wait for you to see my shop. There’s something special about it that I haven’t told you,” I say squeezing her hand.

“Really?” Her face lights up when she looks at me. “What?”

“You’ll see when we get there.”

••••

“Indi Ink,” she whispers when I pull up outside. “Oh my God. You named your shop after me,” she squeals, her head snapping in my direction.

“I did,” I reply smiling when I see the look on her face.

“When?” she asks excitedly as we exit the car.

“When I opened it.”

“But that was four years ago.” Her beautiful eyes widen when she walks towards the shop, her head tilted back so she can see the sign.

“I know. It’s silly I guess, but I wanted you to be a part of it somehow.”

“It’s not silly,” she whispers before launching herself into my arms. “It’s amazing. I’m so touched that you would do that.” Her lips are on mine before I get a chance to reply. “I love it. I love you,” she says against my mouth. My hands slide around her waist, drawing her closer. I love that she loves me, because I love her so fucking much.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Indiana

“Thank you for making me part of your shop,” I say when I pull back from the kiss. I got all choked up when I first saw it. I thought maybe he’d changed the name recently, but the fact he named it after me, even when I wasn’t in his life anymore, means so much more. It confirms everything I hoped all those years ago—that he
hadn’t
forgotten about me after he left, and that
I
did
mean something to him.

“You still held my heart the whole time I was gone,” he admits, making me melt. The sincerity in his words brings a lump to my throat as my hold on him tightens. I can’t believe we wasted five long years of our lives apart. In saying that though, I know it will only make us more appreciative of what we have now.

“Can we go in and take a look around?” I ask with excitement. I want to see what it looks like inside. I want to see him in all his glory. I’m so proud of everything he’s achieved. Even though my heart was broken after he left, the hardest part for me was not knowing what had become of him. He was all alone. A teenager with a huge chip on his shoulder and a mountain of anger inside him. That’s what worried me the most.

My main concern was that he’d get himself into trouble. Or worse, turn to alcohol or drugs to cope. I’m so grateful that wasn’t the case. Even back then, as much as he tried to hide it, I knew his heart was good. He was just tainted by a stupid word.

“Really? You want to go inside now?” The disappointment in his voice doesn’t go unnoticed. When he pulls me back against him and I feel his hard on pressing into my back, I know why. “I was hoping to take you upstairs first.” The hopeful look on his face almost has me agreeing. But I want to get this out of the way so we can lock ourselves away for the rest of the night. I’ve been busting to see it.