Bath Tangle (27 page)

‘I knew you would be surprised!’ she said, still with that horrid affability. ‘It is not necessary, after all, for Emily to hurry north: her brother is very much better! Famous news, isn’t it? The letter came too late for anyone to be able to stop you before you left Bath, so I told her grandmother I would ride after you. Mr Goring – do you know Mr Goring? – was so obliging as to give me his escort, and here we are!’

He uttered in a choked voice: ‘It’s no concern of yours, ma’am! I –’

‘Oh, no, but I was happy to be of service!’ She nodded smilingly at the elderly ostler, who was touching his forelock to her. ‘Good-day to you, Runcorn! It is some time since you stabled my horses for me, isn’t it? I am glad you are still here, for I want you to take charge of my mare, and Mr Goring’s horse too. Ah, I see Emily staring at me! I must instantly tell her the good news, Gerard! Do you go into the house, and bespeak refreshment for us all! Tell the landlord it is for me, and that I should like a private parlour!’

‘Lady Serena!’ he said furiously. ‘I must make it plain to you –’

‘Indeed, yes! We have so much to say to one another! I in particular! But not, do you think, in the courtyard?’

She turned away, and walked towards the chaise, where Mr Goring, having relinquished the bridles he had been holding into the ostler’s hands, was already persuading Emily to alight. She seemed to be on the point of bursting into tears, but he took her hand in a firm clasp, and said gravely, but with great kindness: ‘Come, Miss Laleham! There is nothing to be afraid of: you must not go any farther! Let me help you down, and then we will talk the matter over sensibly, shall we?’

‘You don’t understand!’ she said, trying to pull her hand away. ‘I can’t – I won’t –’

‘Yes, I do understand, but you are making a mistake you would bitterly regret, my child. Rest assured that your grandmama won’t permit anyone to compel you to do what you don’t like!’

She looked unconvinced, but his tone, which was much that of a man bent on soothing a frightened baby, calmed her a little, and made her feel a sense of protection. She stopped trying to free her hand, and only made a faint protest when he lifted her down from the chaise. She found herself confronting Serena, and hung her head guiltily, not daring to look up into her face.

‘That’s right!’ said Serena, in a heartening voice. ‘Now, before we go home again, we’ll drink some coffee, my dear. Mr Goring, I shall leave it to you to see that the horses are properly bestowed. Tell old Runcorn that Fobbing will ride over to fetch home my mare in a couple of days’ time, if you please, and arrange for four good horses to be put to half-an-hour from now. I know I may safely depend upon you.’

She then swept Emily irresistibly into the inn, encountering Gerard in the doorway, and saying: ‘Well, have you done as I bade you?’

This question, calculated as it was to reduce Mr Monksleigh to the status of a schoolboy, made him flush angrily, and say in a sulky voice: ‘I am willing to break our journey for a few minutes, ma’am, but pray do not imagine that I shall permit you to dictate to me, or to tyrannize over Miss Laleham! In future, Miss Laleham’s welfare –’

He stopped, not because he was interrupted, but because it was abundantly plain that she was not attending to him. The landlord was bustling up, and she walked past Gerard to meet him, saying, in her friendly way: ‘Well, Shere, and how are you?’

‘Pretty stout, my lady, I thank you! And how is your ladyship? And my Lady Spenborough? Now, if I had but known we was to have the honour of serving your ladyship with a nuncheon today – !’

‘Just some coffee and cold meat will do excellently for us. I daresay Mr Monksleigh will have told you that he was escorting Miss Laleham here on what was feared to be a sad errand. One of her brothers took ill suddenly, and the worst was apprehended, so that nothing would do but she must post to Wolverhampton, where he is staying. However, better tidings have been received, I am happy to say, and so I have come galloping after her, to save her a tedious and most anxious journey! Dear Emily, you are still quite overset, and I am sure it is not to be wondered at! You shall rest quietly for a while, before returning to Bath.’

The landlord at once, and in the most solicitous fashion, begged them both to come into his best private parlour; and Emily, dazed by Serena’s eloquence, and incapable of resisting her, allowed herself to be shepherded into the parlour, and tenderly deposited in a chair. Mr Monksleigh brought up the rear, not knowing what else to do. Self-confidence was rapidly deserting him, but as soon as the landlord had bowed himself out of the room, he made another attempt to assert himself, saying, in a blustering voice: ‘Let it be understood, ma’am, that we are not to be turned from our purpose! You do not know the circumstances which have led to our taking what no doubt seems to you a rash step! Not that it signifies in the least! Upon my word, I shall be interested to learn by what right you –’

The speech ended here somewhat abruptly, for Serena rounded on him, an alarming flash in her eyes. ‘Are you out of your senses?’ she demanded. ‘What the
deuce
do you mean by daring to address me in such terms?’

He blenched, but muttered: ‘Well, I don’t see what business it is of yours! You need not think –’

‘Let me remind you, Gerard, that you are not talking to one of your college friends!’ she interrupted. ‘I don’t take that tone from anyone alive, and least of all from a cub of your age! I have previously thought that Rotherham was too severe with you, but I am fast reaching the conclusion he has been too easy! What you need, and what I am strongly tempted to see that you receive, is a sharp lesson in civility! Do not stand there glowering at me in that stupid, ill-bred style! And do not waste your time talking fustian to me about the circumstances which led you to take what you call a rash step, but which you know very well to be a disgraceful and a dishonourable prank!’

Mr Goring, who had entered the room at the start of this masterly trimming, and had listened to it with deep appreciation, said very politely: ‘I shall be happy to be of service to you, Lady Serena.’

Her eyes twinkled. ‘I don’t doubt it – or that you are an excellent teacher, sir! but I hope not to put you to so much trouble.’

‘It would be a pleasure, ma’am.’

Mr Monksleigh, finding himself between an avenging goddess on the one hand, and a stocky and determined gentleman on the other, thought it prudent to retreat from his dangerous position. He begged pardon, and said that he had not meant to be uncivil. The landlord, accompanied by a waiter, then came back into the room, to set the table, a mundane business which seemed to Gerard quite out of keeping with the romantic nature of his escapade. And when they were alone again, Lady Serena sat down at the head of the table, and began to pour out the coffee, commanding the star-crossed lovers to come and take their places, as though she were presiding over a nursery meal.

‘Oh, I could not swallow anything!’ Emily said, in lachrymose accents.

‘I daresay you will find, when you make the attempt, that you are mistaken,’ replied Serena. ‘For my part, I am excessively hungry, and so, I don’t doubt, is Mr Goring. So come and sit down to the table, if you please! Mr Goring, if you will take the foot, and carve the ham, Gerard may sit on my other hand, and so we shall be comfortable.’

Anything less comfortable than the attitudes assumed by the lovers could scarcely have been imagined. Mr Goring, glancing up from his task, was hard put to it not to laugh.

‘I won’t go back! I
won’t
!’ Emily declared, tearfully. ‘Oh, no one was ever so unhappy as I am!’

‘Well, you know, I think you deserve to be unhappy,’ said Serena. ‘You have caused Mr Goring and me a great deal of trouble; you have behaved in a way that must, if ever it were to be known, sink you quite beneath reproach; and, which is worst of all, you have made your grandmama ill. Really, Emily, you are quite old enough to know better than to be so outrageously thoughtless! When I arrived in Beaufort Square this morning, it was to find Mrs Floore recovering from a heart attack, and in such distress that I don’t know when I have been more shocked.’

Emily burst into tears. ‘Lady Serena, it is useless to seek to interfere!’ said Gerard. ‘This step has not been lightly taken! And as for being dishonourable, it’s no such thing! If you think I acted behind Rotherham’s back, you are much mistaken! Before ever I came to Bath I went to Claycross, and told my cousin what I should do!’

Lady Serena lowered her cup. ‘You told Rotherham you were going to elope with Emily?’ she repeated.

He reddened. ‘No, not that! Well, I didn’t mean
then
to elope! I told him I should go to Bath,
whatever
he said, and if he didn’t choose to believe me, I’m sure it was not my fault!’

‘Are we to understand that Rotherham, in fact, forbade you to approach Emily?’ asked Serena. ‘My poor Gerard! What a fortunate thing it is that I was able to catch you! We must
hope
that this escapade doesn’t reach his ears, but there’s no saying that it won’t, and I am strongly of the opinion that you should book yourself a seat on the next London-bound coach.’

‘
I’m
not afraid of Rotherham!’ stated Gerard.

‘Then I know just what you should do!’ said Serena cordially. ‘Take the bull by the horns, my dear Gerard! You know what Rotherham is! Seek him out, and make a clean breast of it, and he won’t be
nearly
as angry!’

He cast her a look of intense dislike. ‘I’ve no desire to see him at all, ma’am!’

Serena spread mustard on a mouthful of ham, and said thoughtfully: ‘Well, I can’t but feel that if I stood in your shoes I had rather seek him than have him seek me. However, that is quite your own affair! But put this absurd Gretna Green idea out of your head, I do beg of you! If I fail to persuade you to abandon your project, I shall have no choice but to inform Rotherham immediately, and then you will see him somewhere on the road to Scotland. I shan’t envy you
that
meeting.’

Emily shrieked: ‘You would not! Oh, you would not do so cruel a thing!’

‘Of course I should! It would be far more cruel to let you ruin yourself in Gerard’s company. And talking of ruin, pray how did you come by the money to pay for this trip, Gerard?’

‘I suppose you think I stole it!’ he said furiously. ‘If you must know, I borrowed it!’

‘Who in the world was fool enough to lend you enough money to get to Gretna Green and back?’ she demanded, quite astonished.

‘I shall pay it back on the day I come of age! In fact, he holds my note-of-hand!’

‘Who does? You know, this becomes more and more serious!’ Serena said. ‘I fear Rotherham will be quite out of patience with you.’

‘Well, he will not, because it was he who lent me the money!’ retorted Gerard.

Mr Goring choked over a mouthful of bread and butter; Serena, after gazing in an awed way at Gerard for a few moments, said unsteadily: ‘You borrowed money from Rotherham to enable you to elope with the girl to whom he is betrothed? No doubt he gave you his blessing as well!’

‘No, he did not! Of course I didn’t tell him I wanted it for – Well, I
didn’t
want it for that! I mean, I hadn’t thought of eloping then, or I shouldn’t have – though it isn’t as if I asked him to give me the money, after all!’ he added defensively.

Mr Goring, listening to him in grim amusement, remarked dispassionately: ‘You’re certainly an original, Monksleigh!’

‘Oh, Gerard, how could you?’ said Emily. ‘Oh, dear, how dreadful everything is! I’m sure it would be
very
wrong of us to let Lord Rotherham pay for my marriage to
you
! Now I shall have to go back to Bath, and I wish I were
dead
!’

Gerard, who, to do him justice, had not until now considered this particular aspect of his exploit, flushed scarlet, and said in a deeply mortified voice: ‘Well, if it was wrong, at least I did it for your sake!’

Serena refilled her cup. ‘I daresay it may prove to be a blessing,’ she observed. ‘His worst enemy never said of Rotherham that he had no sense of humour, and the chances are he would laugh so much that he would forget to be angry with you, Gerard.’

He did not appear to derive much comfort from this, but before he could speak, Emily said, tightly clasping her hands: ‘Lady Serena, I don’t want to marry Lord Rotherham! Oh, pray do not try to persuade me! I cannot love him!’

‘Then I suggest that you tell him so,’ replied Serena calmly.

‘T-tell him so – ?’ repeated Emily, her eyes widening in horror.

‘Yes, tell him so,’ said Serena. ‘When a gentleman, my dear Emily, does you the honour to offer for your hand, and you accept his offer, the barest civility demands that if you should afterwards wish to cry off you must at least inform him of the alteration in your sentiments.’

Emily began to cry again. Mr Goring said: ‘Miss Laleham, pray don’t distress yourself! What Lady Serena says is true, but she should have told you also that you have nothing to fear in returning to Mrs Floore’s house! I can assure you that you will find in her a stout supporter! Had you informed her of your dislike of Rotherham, this unfortunate affair need never have been!’

She raised her wet eyes to his face in an incredulous look. ‘Oh, but Mama – !’

‘Believe me,’ he said earnestly, ‘Mrs Floore is more than a match for your mama! Indeed, my poor child, you must return with us! You have allowed the irritation of your nerves to overset your judgment: I have never met Lord Rotherham, but it is inconceivable to me that he, or any other man, could wish to marry a lady who held him in such aversion!’

‘Mr Goring,’ said Serena, ‘it is a happiness to have become acquainted with you! Your common sense is admirable! I can think of no one more unlikely than Rotherham to hold a reluctant female to her engagement to him, and you will own that I have reason to know what I am talking about!’ A murmur from Emily caused her to whip round, saying sharply: ‘If you bleat “Mama” just once more, Emily, you will find that I have a temper quite as much to be dreaded as Rotherham’s! Why, you little ninnyhammer, if it is Mama you fear, marry Rotherham tomorrow! You could not have found any man more capable of protecting you from her! Or, I dare swear, more willing to do so! Yes, you may stare! That had not occurred to you, had it? There is another thing that has not occurred to you! We have heard a great deal from you about the terror with which he has inspired you, but I have yet to hear you acknowledge that he has treated you during these weeks you have skulked in Bath with a forbearance of which I did not believe a man of his temper to have been capable! Why he should love such a sapskull as you, I know not, but it is clearly seen that he does! His reward is that when he at last tells you that it is time you came to a point, rather than summon up the courage to face him, and to tell him the truth, you elope with a silly schoolboy for whom you do not care the snap of your fingers! His own ward, too! Did you plan it, between the pair of you, to make him appear ridiculous? Of you, Gerard, I can believe it! After this day’s disclosures, it is not in your power to surprise me! You are an ill-conditioned puppy, without gratitude, without propriety, without a thought in your head for anything but what may happen to suit your pleasure!’ Her scorching gaze swept to Emily’s horrified countenance. ‘You I acquit of all but childish folly, but I will tell you this, my girl: but for that saving grace – if grace you call it! – I should think you the most contemptible and vulgar of jilts!’