Battlefield of the Mind (21 page)

My husband and I travel almost every weekend to a different city to hold seminars. Many times we rent hotel ballrooms and civic or convention centers. In the beginning, I would get impatient and frustrated every time something went wrong in one of these places—things like the air-conditioning not working right (or perhaps not working at all), insufficient lighting in the conference room, chairs that were stained and ripped with the stuffing hanging out, or remains of the cake from the previous night's wedding reception still on the floor.

I felt that we had paid good money for the use of these rooms and that we had rented them in good faith expecting them to be in proper order, so I was irritated when that was not the case. We did everything we could to try to ensure that the places we rented were clean and comfortable, and yet, in about 75 percent of them something did not live up to our expectations.

There were times when we had been promised early check-in for our travel team; yet we would arrive and be told there would be no rooms available for several hours. Hotel employees often gave out wrong information concerning the times of our meetings, even though we had told them repeatedly, and had even sent printed material to them, showing the exact dates and times. Frequently, hotel and banquet employees were rude and lazy. Many times the food we had ordered for seminar luncheons was not what it was supposed to be.

I remember one time in particular when the dessert served to our Christian women (approximately eight hundred of them) was laced with rum. The kitchen got the dishes mixed up with what was being served at a wedding reception. Needless to say, we were a little embarrassed when the women started telling us the dessert tasted like it had liquor in it.

I could go on and on, but the point is simply this: occasionally, but very rarely, we ended up with a perfect place, perfect people and a perfect seminar.

I finally realized that one of the reasons these situations left me impatient and behaving badly was because I was being idealistic and not realistic.

I don't plan for failure, but I do remember that Jesus said that in this world we will have to deal with tribulation and trials and distress and frustration. These things are part of life on this earth—for the believer as well as the unbeliever. But all the mishaps in the world cannot harm us if we will remain in the love of God, displaying the fruit of the Spirit.

PATIENCE: POWER TO ENDURE

Clothe yourselves therefore, as God's own chosen ones (His own
picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-beloved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted
pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle
ways, [and] patience [which is tireless and long-suffering, and has the
power to endure whatever comes, with good temper]. Colossians 3:12

I turn to this Scripture often to remind me of what kind of behavior I should be displaying in all situations. I remind myself that patience is not my ability to wait, but my ability to keep a good attitude while I wait.

PATIENCE IS BROUGHT OUT BY TRIALS

Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are
enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various
temptations.

Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith
bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience.

But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play
and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and
fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

Patience is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) and is deposited in the spirit of every born-again person. The display or manifestation of patience by His people is very important to the Lord. He wants other people to see His character through His children.

Chapter 1 in the book of James teaches us that when we have become perfect, we will be lacking in nothing. The devil cannot control a patient man.

James 1 also teaches us that we should rejoice when we find ourselves involved in difficult situations, knowing that the method God uses to bring out patience in us is by what the New
King James Version
calls "various trials."

 I have found in my own life that "various trials" did eventually bring out patience in me, but first they brought out a lot of other things that were not godly traits: things like pride, anger, rebellion, self-pity, complaining and many others. It seems that these other things must be faced and dealt with before patience can come forth.

TRIAL OR INCONVENIENCE?

And they journeyed from Mount Hor by the way to the Red Sea, to
go around the land of Edom, and the people became impatient
(depressed, much discouraged), because [of the trials] of the way. Numbers 21:4

If you remember, an impatient attitude was one of the wilderness mentalities that kept the Israelites wandering in the wilderness for forty years.

How could these people possibly be ready to go into the Promised Land and drive off the current occupants so they could possess the land if they could not even remain patient and steadfast during a little inconvenience?

I really encourage you to work with the Holy Spirit as He develops the fruit of patience in you. The more you resist Him, the longer the process will take. Learn to respond patiently in all kinds of trials, and you will find yourself living a quality of life that is not just endured but enjoyed to the full.

THE  MPORTANCE OF PATIENCE AND ENDURANCE

For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you
may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive
and carry away [and enjoy to the full] what is promised. Hebrews 10:36

This Scripture tells us that without patience and endurance we will not receive the promises of God. And Hebrews 6:12 (KJV) tells us that it is only through faith and patience that we inherit the promises.

The proud man runs in the strength of his own flesh and tries to make things happen in his own timing. Pride says, "I'm ready now!"

Humility says, "God knows best, and He will not be late!"

A humble man waits patiently; he actually has a "reverential fear" of moving in the strength of his own flesh. But a proud man tries one thing after another, all to no avail.

A STRAIGHT LINE IS NOT ALWAYS THE SHORTESTDISTANCE TO A GOAL

There is a way that seems right to a man and appears straight
before him, but at the end of it is the way of death. Proverbs 16:25

We must learn that in the spiritual realm sometimes a straight line is not the shortest distance between us and where we want to be. It may just be the shortest distance to destruction!

We must learn to be patient and wait on the Lord, even if it seems that He is taking us in a roundabout way to get to our desired destination.

There are multitudes of unhappy, unfulfilled Christians in the world simply because they are busy trying to make something happen, instead of waiting patiently for God to bring things to pass in His own time and His own way.

When you are trying to wait on God, the devil will pound your mind continuously demanding that you "do something." He wants to move you in fleshly zeal because he knows that the flesh profits nothing. (John 6:63; Romans 13:14).

As we have seen, impatience is a sign of pride, and the only answer to pride is humility.

HUMBLE YOURSELF AND WAIT ON THE LORD

Therefore humble yourselves [demote, lower yourselves in your
own estimation] under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He
may exalt you. 1 Peter 5:6

This phrase "lower yourself in your own estimation" does not mean to think badly of yourself. It simply means, "Don't think you can solve all your problems on your own."

Instead of pridefully taking matters into our own hands, we must learn to humble ourselves under God's mighty hand. When He knows that the time is right, He will exalt us and lift us up.

As we wait on God and refuse to move in fleshly zeal, there is a "dying to self that takes place. We begin to die to our own ways and our own timing and to become alive to God's will and way for us.

We should always be promptly obedient to do whatever God tells us to do, but we should also have a godly fear of fleshly pride. Remember: it is pride that is at the root of impatience. The proud man says, "Please don't make me wait for anything; I deserve everything immediately."

When you are tempted to become frustrated and impatient, I recommend that you begin to say, "Lord, I want Your will in Your timing.

I do not want to be ahead of You, nor do I want to be behind You. Help me, Father, to wait patiently on You!"

Chapter 21

My behavior may be wrong, but it's not my fault.

Wilderness Mentality #6

And the man said, The woman whom You gave to be with me - she gave me [fruit] from the tree, and I ate.

An unwillingness to take responsibility for one's own actions, blaming everything that is wrong or goes wrong on someone else, is a major cause for wilderness living.
We see the problem manifesting from the beginning of time. When confronted with their sin in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve blamed each other, God and the devil, thus evading personal responsibility for their actions..

IT 'S ALL YOUR FAULT!

Now Sarai, Abram's wife, had borne him no children. And she had
an Egyptian maidservant whose name was Hagar.

So Sarai said to Abram, "See now, the Lord has restrained me from
bearing children. Please, go in to my maid; perhaps I shall obtain
children by her." And Abram heeded the voice of Sarai.

Then Sarai, Abram's wife, took Hagar her maid, the Egyptian, and
gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife, after Abram had dwelt
ten years in the land of Canaan.

So he went in to Hagar, and she conceived. And when she saw that
she had conceived, her mistress became despised in her eyes.

Then Sarai said to Abram, "My wrong be upon you! I gave my
maid into your embrace; and when she saw that she had conceived, I
became despised in her eyes. The Lord judge between you and me."

So Abram said to Sarai, "Indeed your maid is in your hand; do to
her as you please." And when Sarai dealt harshly with her, she fled
from her presence. Genesis 16:1-6 NKJV

The same scenario played out between Adam and Eve is seen here in the dispute between Abram and Sarai. They were tired of waiting on God to fulfill His promise of a child born to them, so they got in the flesh and "did their own thing." When it turned out badly and started causing trouble, they began to blame each other.

In the past, I observed this same kind of scene countless times in my own home between Dave and me. It seemed that we were continually evading the real issues in life, never wanting to face reality.

I vividly remember praying for Dave to change. I had been reading my Bible and was seeing more and more of his flaws, and how much he needed to be different! As I prayed, the Lord spoke to me and said, "Joyce, Dave is not the problem.. you are."

I was devastated. I cried and cried. I wept for three days because God was showing me what it was like to live in the same house with me. He showed me how I tried to control everything that went on, how I nagged and complained, how hard it was to please me, how negative I was—and on and on. It was a shocking blow to my pride, but it was also the beginning of my recovery in the Lord.

Like most people, I blamed everything on someone else or some circumstance beyond my control. I thought I was acting badly because I had been abused, but God told me, "Abuse may be the reason you act this way, but don't let it become an excuse to stay this way!"

Satan works hard on our minds—building strongholds that will prevent us from facing truth. The truth will set us free, and he knows it!

I don't think there is anything more emotionally painful than facing the truth about ourselves and our behavior. Because it is painful, most people run from it. It is fairly easy to face truth about someone else—but when it comes to facing ourselves, we find it much harder to handle.

IF...

And the people spoke against God and against Moses, Why have
you brought us out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no
bread, neither is there any water, and we loathe this light
(contemptible, unsubstantial) manna. Numbers 21:5

As you recall, the Israelites complained that all their problems were the fault of God and Moses. They successfully evaded any personal responsibility for why they were staying in the wilderness so long. God showed me this was one of the major wilderness mentalities that kept them there forty years.

It was also one of the main reasons I spent so many years going around and around the same mountains in my life. My list of excuses for why I was behaving badly was endless:

"If I hadn't been abused as a child, I wouldn't have a bad temper."

"If my children would help me more, I would act better."

"If Dave didn't play golf on Saturdays, I wouldn't get so upset with him."

"If Dave would talk to me more, I wouldn't be so lonely."

"If Dave would buy me more presents, I wouldn't be so negative."

"If I didn't have to work, I wouldn't be so tired and cranky." (So I quit work, and then it was. .)

"If I could just get out of the house more, I wouldn't be so bored!"

"If we only had more money. ."

"If we owned our own home.. " (So we bought one and then, it was.. )