Bayview Heights Trilogy (81 page)

So was Zoe.

He gaped at the luscious picture she made,
unable to take his eyes off Zoe. Part of one shoulder peeked out of
the soap, and freckles dotted it. He remembered kissing them one
night.

“Wanna come in, Uncle Kurt?” Alexandra asked.
“Sometimes Daddy does when Mommy’s in the tub.”

Zoe sputtered, “Ah, no, honey, that’s not a
good idea.”

Kurt gave Zoe his full masculine perusal. “I
think it’s a great idea.”

“Kurt!”

“Unfortunately Camille here is pretty
possessive.” He patted the baby’s back as she cuddled into him
sweetly. “I can’t abandon my charge.”

Zoe shook her head, but the corners of her
mouth turned up. “Get out of here.”

“Why? It’s nothing I haven’t—”

“Don’t say it. Just leave.”

He chuckled all the way to Camille’s
room.

o0o

“THEY’RE BOTH ASLEEP, finally.” Kurt dropped
onto the couch next to her, stretched his legs in front of him and
closed his eyes.

“Thank God.”

He opened one eye. “I can’t believe how
demanding they are. Just when one quiets, the other wakes up. This
is as bad as the night shift in the ER.”

She sipped her sparkling water, unable to
remember ever being so tired in her life.

“I think you should go to bed down here in
Cassie and Mitch’s room,” he said after a moment.

She thought about the king-size bed. And
Kurt. “What about you?”

“I’ll bunk in Camille’s room on the twin bed.
That way, I’ll hear either of them from there.”

“No, I can--”

His raised his hand to her mouth. His fingers
stopped her words. They felt soft and comforting against her lips.
She wanted badly to kiss them, feel them all over her.

“How much sleep did you get last night?” he
asked.

“About four hours.”

“And today they ran you ragged. You need
rest.”

“What about you?”

“I’m a doctor. I’m used to going without
sleep.”

“I think—”

“Look, we’ll rest in shifts. This—” he nodded
upstairs “—will most likely continue into tomorrow and maybe into
Sunday. We need to be sensible, sweetheart.”

“Oh, God.”

“Besides,” he said, his eyes twinkling like
dew-kissed grass, “I won’t be able to sleep, anyway, after seeing
you in the bathtub.”

She’d forgotten how good Kurt’s flirting
felt, how playful their life together had been. It was a stark
reminder of all they’d lost. And it angered her.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Nothing.” She stood. “You’re right, we need
to be sensible about this. About everything. I’ll turn in now. Wake
me early so I can relieve you.”

“All right.”

“Sleep well.”

Don’t bet the farm on it
, she
thought miserably.

o0o

KURT WAS DIMLY aware of a movement on his
chest. He slept lightly on the twin bed, holding the baby clasped
to him, but he knew intuitively Camille wasn’t waking.

Slitting open his eyes, he saw Zoe lean over
him and ease the child out of his arms. “Shh, go back to
sleep.”

She lifted Camille away from him, soothed her
back, then placed her in the crib. Clothed in blue satin pajamas,
Zoe looked wonderful as she returned to the bed and stared down at
him. “Since you’re awake, why don’t you go into the guest room and
get some good sleep?”

He stretched. “What time is it?”

“Seven. Alexandra’s not up yet. What time did
Attila the Hun go down?”

“The last time she woke up was about five.”
He yawned. “She fell asleep again about six-thirty.”

“You need more sleep.” Zoe wrapped her arms
around her waist. The action pulled the pajama material tight over
her breasts, and he could see the outline of her nipples.

“I need
you
.” Defenses down from
lack of sleep, he didn’t censor his words or actions. He reached up
and tugged on her arm.

She fell on top of him. “Kurt!” she whispered
fiercely. “What are you doing?”

He tunneled his fingers through her tousled
hair. He loved the way she looked and smelled in the morning. “I’m
taking advantage of the situation.”

She giggled. “Let me up.”

His hands left her hair and trailed down her
back to her bottom. He squeezed her gently there. She was soft and
supple, and his body responded immediately. “In a minute. You feel
too good.”

“Kurt.” She moaned his name.

“Don’t you miss us, love?”

“You’re not being fair.”

“Don’t you?” His hands inched under her top
and met skin smoother than satin.

She closed her eyes. “Please.”

“Answer me and I’ll let you up.”

“All right, I miss you.” Her middle bumped
with his. “I miss this. A lot.”

“Kiss me.”

“No. I’ve got to see to Alexandra.”

“Please.”

Zoe swallowed hard. Stared at his lips. His
hand came up to coax her head down.

She ended up going willingly. Her mouth met
his, gently at first. Then hungrily. Her whole body pressed into
his as she consumed him.

He angled his head to get more of her. Their
legs tangled together and his hands gripped her bottom
reflexively.

Mumbling—some kind of noise—came from the
doorway.

Zoe drew back. “Wh-what?”

“What’re you doing on top of Uncle Kurt, Aunt
Zoe?” Alexandra must have repeated the question.

Zoe’s forehead met Kurt’s. She said softly,
“Good question, kiddo,” and tried to pull away. He held her for a
minute, relishing the sight of her flushed and breathing hard from
his kisses. Then he let her go.

Though his body ached with fatigue, his heart
felt lighter. He turned over and buried his face in the pillow. The
last conscious thought he had was that he was making progress with
the woman he loved.

o0o

THAT EVENING, Zoe stared across the kitchen
at Kurt, and her heart turned over. He stood at the wide expanse of
window, just as he had on moving day. He was freshly showered and
shaved, and his hair was slicked back and still damp. He was
dressed in one of Mitch’s sweat suits; its deep green turned his
eyes the color of the forest. They’d had a hectic day, with two
cranky little girls to entertain. Fortunately Camille had taken a
miraculous turn for the better about four that afternoon, and
Alexandra was almost completely well.

“How long did I nap?” Zoe asked.

“A few hours. It’s eight o’clock.” He smiled.
“Feel better?”

“A little. I wish you’d slept more
today.”

“I got a good three hours this morning
after...” He let the thought trail off.

She blushed.
After they’d kissed
.
She’d dreamed about him the entire time she slept. She’d awoken
aroused.

Damn it.

Glancing at the clock, she asked, “The girls
asleep?”

“Uh-huh. They went down easily just a few
minutes ago. My guess is they’re out for the count.”

Zoe smiled.

“Hungry?” he asked.

“Have we eaten today?” she joked.

“Some leftover pizza for breakfast, I think.
The rest is a blur.”

She sank onto a chair and sniffed something
spicy. “What do I smell?”

“I ordered takeout from that new seafood
restaurant in town.” He grinned and joined her at the table.
“Lobster thermidor.” Her favorite.

“Wow!”

“Hey, we deserve it after the weekend we’ve
had.” He shook his head. “I forgot how exhausting dealing with sick
kids for an extended period of time is.”

“What I can’t figure out is how Camille got
better so fast. Before I took a nap, she was cooing like an
angel.”

“The antibiotic kicked in.” He grinned. “Boy,
am I glad.”

“Thanks for coming to help, Kurt. I couldn’t
have done it myself.”

“Cassie’ll have a fit when she comes home,
especially about how you lied to her on the phone.”

Zoe shrugged. “I didn’t want to spoil their
weekend.”

“They’ve got the best marriage I’ve ever
seen, and still it’s strained by daily life, isn’t it?”

Swallowing hard, she said, “Nothing’s
perfect.”

“Relationships take a lot of work.” He stared
at her intently. “We could have made it, Zoe.”

“Don’t.”

“All right. I’m too drained to argue, anyway.
Let’s call a truce. No discussing the past or the future. Let’s
just enjoy tonight.” He glanced at the ceiling. “Alone.
Hopefully.”

“I’d like that.”

They ate lobster and twice-baked potatoes and
white asparagus. Periodically they checked on the girls to make
sure they were all right. She and Kurt sat side by side and watched
an old Humphrey Bogart movie on TV. At midnight Zoe felt her eyes
closing.

“Here,” Kurt said, raising his arm, sliding
it around her and tugging her close. He was slouched on the couch
with his feet on the coffee table. “Put your head here and
sleep.”

“. . . should go to bed,” she mumbled against
his chest.

She felt his mouth in her hair. “In a bit.
Sleep.”

The next thing Zoe knew, birds were chirping.
She stirred and opened her eyes. She was in the big guest room
across from the girls’ rooms. Kurt lay next to her. Both of them
were on top of the covers, dressed as they’d been the night before,
with a crocheted afghan pulled over them. They were snuggled into
each other, the way they used to sleep together. Zoe lay quietly,
once again overcome with a monumental sense of loss.

Her hand went to her stomach. Sometimes she
did
wish, just for a minute, that they’d have no choice
but to pick up their relationship again. That the decision would be
taken out of her hands.

She listened to his even breathing, inhaling
his unique scent, until she yearned so much for him that she had to
move. She slipped out from his grasp, tiptoed to the bathroom and
closed the door.

A few moments later, her heart breaking, she
fished in the overnight case she’d left on the vanity earlier for a
tampon. As she stared at herself in the mirror afterward, tears
streamed down her cheeks. “You idiot,” she said. “So you got your
period. So what? It’s for the best.”

Backing up, she leaned against the wall.
Slowly she slid into a slouch on the floor and buried her face in
her hands.

o0o

KURT AWOKE BY DEGREES in the guest room of
his brother's house. Eyes closed, he reached for Zoe, but she was
gone. He sat halfway up and scanned the room; he noted the pretty
peach walls and white wicker furniture that Zoe had helped Cassie
pick out. Last night had been too dark to see the decor.

Last night, when he’d carried a sleeping Zoe
in here and couldn’t resist the temptation to join her on the bed.
He’d held her all night while she’d snuggled up to him as she used
to do.

Where was she? Easing out of bed, he headed
to the adjoining bathroom; when he opened the door, he was shocked
to find her huddled on the floor, her head down.

“Zoe, what’s wrong?”

She didn’t look up.

“Sweetheart, are you ill?”

Still nothing. He dropped to his knees and
pried her face up from her hands. She was crying, soft silent
tears. “What’s wrong?”

She just shook her head.

“Is it because I slept with you? I’m sorry,
baby, I just couldn’t resist.” He shrugged helplessly.

“It’s not that.” Her gaze strayed to the
counter. He followed it and saw the tampon box sitting there.

“Oh.” His heart plummeted. For a second. Then
he realized the significance of her tears.

Sitting down, he propped himself against the
wall, stretched out his legs and tugged her onto his lap. She
resisted, marginally, but then went into his arms. He held her
close. “You’re crying because you got your period.”

Vehemently she shook her head.

“Yes, love, you are.”

“I’m tired...”

He said nothing.

“The girls were sick...I was worried.”

Still he made no comment.

“It’s been a hard few months...”

His hand drew circles on her back, soothed
down her hair. He kissed the top of her head. “You know in your
heart it’s none of those things.”

After a long time, she drew back. “All right.
It’s just a temporary aberration.”

He pinned her with an intense stare. “No,
Zoe, I won’t let you kid yourself about this anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that we belong together. And you know
it. You’d hoped, maybe unconsciously, that the decision would be
made for us, that we’d be forced together by a pregnancy, but
that’s not going to happen. You’re going to have to make a
conscious choice to try again.”

She straightened. “I won’t.” She bit her lip.
“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.” He stared hard at her,
praying he said the right thing. “I’m asking outright for another
chance with you. I know I hurt you. Let me make up for what I did.
Let me prove our relationship can work.”

Fear filled her eyes. “I’m too scared.”

“I won’t accept that answer. Not anymore.
I’ve let you call the shots because of my guilt. I’m not going to
let that go on any longer.”

Her face was full of questions.

“I want another chance, and I’m not giving up
until I get it.” Easing her off his lap, he stood and pulled her to
her feet. “Now let’s go check on the girls, cook you breakfast and
we’ll talk about this some more.”

He held out his hand.

Her gaze dropped to it, then back up.

“Zoe,” he said, his voice a little
desperate.

Finally, she placed her hand in his.

AS HE DROVE to the Bayview Heights
Administration Building at nine o’clock the following Monday night,
Kurt was not happy. Irritable from lack of sleep, he struggled for
calm. Thinking about the upcoming meeting—instigated by Bosco—made
him crazy, and thinking about Zoe didn’t exactly help.

Sunday morning had not turned out as he’d
hoped...

She’d taken his hand and accompanied him to
the kitchen, but over coffee, she patiently explained why she
couldn’t risk starting a relationship with him again.