Be Careful What You Wish For (15 page)

“
Mmm-hmm.”  Unexpectedly very okay.  My pussy clenched against itself, demanding relief, but I had a feeling I was going to have to wait a while. He brushed his lips along my neck before sitting up again, ripping another piece of tape off the roll.  He applied several pieces of tape to hold my arm down.  Then he said, “See if you can pull your arm out.”  I struggled against the tape.  I could feel it give a little, but it barely budged.

“Nothing.”

“Good.  Now, your other arm.”  I held out my hand to him.  This time, when he took my wrist in his hands, I was expecting the sensations—the sticky feel of the tape against my skin and how it tugged at those invisible hairs, how strong his hand felt against the tiny bones in my own, how weak and helpless and completely fucking turned on I was growing as he secured my other arm to the windshield of my car out in the middle of nowhere.

Only we weren’t in the middle of nowhere.  Sure, there was no one around at this moment, but we’d driven down a
maintained road.  It wasn’t like we’d made our own path to the westernmost part of the lake.  It just happened to be an abandoned spot at this moment.

He placed the roll of tape on top of the car, above my head, and then ran his
two fingers down the front of my body—from my neck, down my cleavage, to my navel and just stopping at my mound.  Already, my body was racing, ready to feel him inside me, but I could tell that he wasn’t going to give me what I wanted or needed, at least not at first.  And in spite of wanting to play it cool, I realized my hips were pushing my pelvis up off the car to meet his hand, giving away how desperate I already felt.

It was going to be a long night.

“Aren’t you sweet?” he asked, and I could hear the grin in his voice.  He was having so much fun, and it was all at my expense.  I was feeling beyond desperate, but I pressed my ass back down into the car.  I already seemed too eager.  He was straddling me and, from what I could tell, he was in complete control.  Unlike me, he wasn’t ready to explode.  He kissed me, a soft, warm kiss, his tongue unassuming and tender in its probing.  I forced myself to calm down and I tried to enjoy the sensation of his hard body close to mine and hands cupping my cheeks.  It wasn’t long, though, that he slid his hands down my neck to the front of my blouse, and I could feel his fingers on the top button.  I took a deep breath, once again too excited for what was to come.  Not being able to run my fingers through his hair or drag my nails down his back made it that much harder to maintain myself.

He was kissing my neck then as his fingers tortured me, unbuttoning my blouse one slow button at a time.  I could hear the way I was breathing—panting was more like it.  I was sure my breasts were heaving, frantic and needy
, but it was like he didn’t care.  In fact, I was sure that the worse I wanted him, the longer he was going to make me wait.  Every single damn muscle in my body was tight, and I didn’t know how much longer I could take it.

I tried moving my legs, thinking maybe I could pull one out from under him, through his legs, and then I would be able to wrap
one or both around him.  Rubbing against him would feel fantastic and might allow me a little relief, but the problem was my legs were pressed tightly together between his own, and he wasn’t letting me budge.

Maybe as he slid down my body…

For now, though, he was making things hot higher up my frame.  He had three buttons undone and he touched the top of my cleavage with a soft feather kiss.  As he undid the next button, he began to pelt me with those kisses all along the edges of my bra.  I could feel my pussy dripping by that point, and I doubted I could make it much longer.

He was still determined to take his time.  When he had the last button undone, he kissed down my belly to my navel, and I could hear how shallow my breathing had become.  He slid his hands underneath me and up to my bra.  I arched my back so his finger could unfasten it and I couldn’t help the slow moan that crawled out of my throat as he traced the bottom of it on both sides with his index fingers until he was topside again.  He lifted the bra up and over my breasts, but the bra was anchored to me, thanks to the duct tape
that held my arms down.  Slowly, he lowered his mouth to one of my nipples and I cried out.  I didn’t know how much longer I could take it, but I knew he wasn’t going to speed up just because I was desperate.  And I had no say in the matter.  I was tied down and at his mercy…and that had been his plan from the beginning.

His mouth left my nipple and moved down my cleavage.  The slight breeze was more no
ticeable as it cooled my nipple where his mouth had been, and he kissed his way down my body, sucking my flesh in between his lips as he went.  “Oh, Kage,” I said, afraid my voice sounded like I was begging.  And I was.  God, I was.  I wanted to be put out of my misery…and yet I didn’t.  It was amazing, the way he was playing me, and I couldn’t think of a time when I felt this incredible.

He slid down off the car and I felt his hands on my knees.  They moved up from there and I groaned again, but he didn’t touch me. Instead, his fingers wrapped around the sides of my panties and drew them d
own.  Again, he pulled them down my legs, and he moved so slowly, I ached.  Every inch of that journey was pure torment.  When he got them to my knees, he stopped and grabbed my left leg.  He bent it and pulled the panties down and off, leaving them hanging on the other leg.  Probably a good idea since it was dark out and we might have a hard time finding them later if they dropped to the ground.

The cool air reminded me that we were outside and my ears perked up.  Even though my brain was focused on my pussy, it became distracted, wanting to make sure we were alone.

And, somehow, that added to the sensations I was feeling.

How had he known?

I felt his tongue trailing up the inside of my thigh, and I wondered what noise it was I was hearing until I realized it was coming from my throat, a primal growl, my id tired of waiting, demanding satisfaction.  I felt rather than heard his chuckle, the warm air from his mouth hitting my inner legs as he got closer to the place where I wanted him.  He draped both my legs over his shoulders as he homed in.  I felt his finger brush down my slit and I gasped, more from the thrill than from the frustration that it was but a tease, and he said, “Mmm, that’s nice.”

I started giggling then.  I knew it was because my body had been so tense for so long, and I knew he was referring to how wet I was, but for some reason, it seemed funny.  I laughed and laughed and thought if someone
was
getting his jollies watching, he’d think I’d lost my mind.  But then Kage touched me with his tongue and I gasped again.  Gone were the giggles, because what he was doing was completely serious.  That got my attention.

My thighs tensed up again and I felt myself tilt my pelvis again.  I doubted it did any good but it was a subconscious response.
  And he was doing what he’d done before, that slow teasing motion that should have bored the shit out of me but didn’t.  It was just enough to keep a low simmer going…and make me reach my boiling point in the slowest way possible.  Breezy?  Shit, I couldn’t feel a thing.  I was so goddamned hot by that point that I couldn’t register anything else—not the temperature, not the time, nothing.  By then, I might have been surrounded by a crowd of people and I wouldn’t have known.  I was in my own little world, and my focus was on that little nub between my legs, the one that called Kage master.

I started gulping down breaths of air and I could hear myself getting louder through gritted teeth.  I was close, so close, and I could feel all those crazy chemicals swirling in my veins, and in my head I could see
Kage’s face—his dark green eyes and strong jaw framed by that gorgeous mane of dark hair.  I sucked down another breath and that’s when my body snapped.  It let go of it all—all the tension, all the pressure, all the stress…and the doubts, the insecurities, and I gave it all to the sky, all to Kage as I cried his name, not once, not twice, but at least ten times to the clouds, to the lake, to the wilderness, to any fucking being who cared to hear.

I was his. 
Forever.

Chapter Twenty-four

WOW.  I’D FORGOTTEN just how brilliant and bright stars were when you were away from the city lights that drowned them out.  They were simple and pure and singing a song of light to me, and even though I felt sleepy and drained, I also felt very much awake and alive.

I could still feel the evidence of
Kage between my legs even as he held me close to his body on the hood of my car.  The breeze had grown a little cooler now, and I was wishing I had a jacket or a blanket, but he was warm.  After he’d brought me to ecstasy, he’d done it a second time, entering me with full force until I cried out again.  Then he’d pulled the tape off the car and tried to carefully remove it from my wrists.  I’d been glad he couldn’t see me wince as he pulled it off my skin.

I had no idea how long we lay there, but the moon had moved a little since we’d first parked.  I could hear the bushes rustle and the water
lapping, and it soothed me down to my soul.  After a while, Kage said, “I’ve never done this before.”

I inhaled a deep breath and let it out, feeling content, before I said, “What?  Fucked outside before?”  I found it amusing that I could actually lay claim to having done something before that
Kage hadn’t.  He somehow had seemed more worldly than I, and yet I knew he wasn’t too much older and probably not much more experienced.

“No.  Looked
at the stars with someone I loved before.”

Oh.  I don’t know why, but that made me sad.

So many times, Kage surprised me, because there were revelations about him that made me wonder how he could be so optimistic, so content in spite of all the shit the world had thrown at him.  For him to find such simple pleasure in looking at the stars with me took my breath away.  And that he didn’t hold it against the universe for dealing him such a shitty hand that he had to wait until now to enjoy that moment, something that obviously meant a lot to him, amazed me.  I didn’t know what to say, but I felt like I had to acknowledge the moment.  I ran my hand over his chest and said, “Well, you are now.”

He sat up a little so he could turn and look me in the eyes
—or at least try in the semi-darkness.  “Thank you for that.”

The enormity of his emotions washed over me, and I felt near tears.  I was glad it was dark enough that he wouldn’t be able
to see the water building up in my eyes.  I could only hope he wouldn’t be able to hear it in my voice.  So I didn’t betray it—because I had no idea where the hell that was coming from; I instead just brought my lips to his, letting my body tell him how I felt…because words fell short every single time. 

* * *

One Saturday in April, Kage and I got out of bed late morning, and I promised to see if we had anything I could turn into breakfast if he joined me in the kitchen.

“Just wear your t-shirt.  I’ll be there.”

I grinned.  “I can’t, Kage.  I have roommates.”

“So?  I’m sure they’d appreciate the view too.”

“Uh…
not
.  They’re straight.  And, even if they weren’t, it would make me uncomfortable.”

“I’m just teasing you.”

I stuck my tongue out as I pulled on a pair of light gray sweats.  Springtime and my bedroom was still chilly.  I hadn’t realized till then, though, that I hadn’t noticed it as much since Kage had started spending time with me.  Somehow, my room didn’t feel like such a cold place anymore.  He reached out from his place on my bed and grabbed me around the hips, pulling me down on the mattress.  When I lay on my back, he hovered over me and said, “You don’t mind that I stay the night, do you?”

“Are you kidding?”

“I just don’t want to make things uncomfortable for you at home.”

“No.  We’re a bunch of college girls.  We’re used to it.”

He raised his eyebrows.  “Used to having strange men wandering in your house at all hours?”

“
Strange
men?”  I laughed.  “I didn’t realize you thought of yourself that way.  Is there something I should know?”  He grinned at my joke and kissed me and then I said, “Things are lots more uncomfortable for me at your place.”

He frowned.  “
Have I missed something?  Is Mark still giving you the cold shoulder?”

“Nah.
  It’s not bad anymore.  I guess I’m still just feeling a little weird.”

“It’ll be okay, especially when I move to my own place.”  That had been his plan, but he’d had to put a lot of his spare money toward the lawyer handling his divorce. 
Funny, because when I’d first met him, I’d thought maybe he had no money problems.  The cash had seemed to be flowing like honey.  It just so happened he hadn’t had a house payment and his wife had a good job.  His money had gone to food, utilities, and his truck and then whatever he’d wanted to blow it on.  Fay had her own income from her job as a manager at a doctor’s office.  Now, though, Kage was having to be more careful.  He was giving Mark money for rent and he had his truck payment and food, but most of the rest of it went toward the divorce, although I knew he was setting some aside for his own place too.  Part of me considered asking him if he’d consider moving in together when the semester ended.  My roommates and I always understood that a semester change could mean new roomies, so I wasn’t worried about abandoning them, but I didn’t know that Kage was ready to make that step—monetarily or emotionally.  Really, I wouldn’t blame him.  While I’d had months to wash the taste of Robb out of my mouth, Kage had to deal with Fay on a weekly basis.  You couldn’t forget about someone when she was continually wagging her finger in your face, whether literally or virtually over the phone.

Now wasn’t the time.  Instead, I let him kiss me
again and then I said, “Come on.  Coffee time.”

His eyes were so beautiful, so mysterious,
so shimmery.  He grinned then and said, “All right.”  He touched his lips to the tip of my nose and then slid off me and got off the bed so he could find his jeans on the floor.  He slid them on and then joined me at the door.  But as I placed my hand on the doorknob, he wrapped his hand around mine and said, “Hey, if your roommates aren’t here anymore, maybe we could have a little fun before you have to start studying.”

I grinned.  Oh, he was a
naughty boy, and I was surprised I was still passing my classes.  “Let’s talk about that over coffee.”

When we got to the kitchen, though, his hopes were dashed, because
Steph was sitting at the table, her laptop and several books taking up half of its surface.  I found it odd, because of her ABD status.  I’d never seen the girl crack a book.  I’d seen her grading papers for the classes she taught as a lecturer, but that was it.  I asked, “What’s up?”

Kage
stood beside me and grabbed two coffee mugs out of the cabinet.  Steph said, “I’ve finally been inspired.  I’m starting my thesis.”

“Oh, that’s great,
Steph.  What are you doing it on?”

She turned a little pink—typical
Steph.  “Uh, well, I hope you don’t take this wrong, but…it’s about the need for the outsiders in society.”

I poured coffee into the two cups
Kage had set down and smiled at him when he winked at me.  Maybe he thought she was referring to the fact that he was an overt metalhead while I was a closeted one.  Okay, so we could be considered outsiders, but I hadn’t felt like one since I’d started college.  As a trailer kid growing up, yeah…and what would Steph know about that anyway?  I’d never talked about my childhood with her.  “Why would I take that wrong?”

“Well…”  She cleared her throat and started shuffling her papers.  “I was inspired by you and there’s a chapter dealing with, uh…”

I turned around.  My coffee could wait.  I didn’t want to be confrontational, but now she had my attention.  “Spit it out, Stephanie.”

She swallowed. 
“Infidelity.”

Oh.  Okay.  I suppose
d I could live with that.  I looked over at Kage, though, because it was more a finger pointed at him than me.  “And how does that make a person an outsider?”

Now that she was onto her topic,
Steph got excited.  She looked at Kage and asked, “Are you still hanging out and doing things with friends you and your wife had in common?”

He shrugged.  “No, not really, but we never really had friends in common.  She had her friends and I had mine.”  Even as he said that, though, I was thinking about how his friends had shunned me, given me a cold shoulder for the first weeks we were together.  Maybe
he
hadn’t felt any effects, but I had.

“Still…could I interview you for my thesis?”

“It depends.  What is that?  I’m assuming it’s more than the thesis sentences I learned about in school.”

“Yeah.
  It’s a huge research project we have to do to graduate with a master’s.”

“Oh.”

I nodded.  “I’ll have to write one too, but a thesis is related to your major.  So Steph’s is about psychology and mine will be focused on English somehow.”  I could see the question in his eyes.  “No, I have no idea what I’ll write mine on yet.”

Kage
sat at the table with his coffee.  “So what else do you want to know?”

Steph
shrugged.  “I don’t know.  I’m just kind of in the germinating phase.  I need to figure out what all I want to explore, but I thought a chapter about infidelity would be good.  I can find lots of published research, but if I could add my own primary research, it would be even better.”

“Don’t you
have
to do some kind of experiment or something?”

“No.  Research is fine.”

I sat down beside Kage where there was a little table room.  “You could also look at the effects on the homewrecker.”

Kage
raised his eyebrows.  “Hey…I told you it wasn’t your fault.”

I smiled.  “I know, but I suppose that’s as good a term as any for what I did.  I was the one on the outside of the marriage—a catalyst, I suppose.”

Steph started typing.  “Oh, that’s good.  Yeah, Jess, I definitely want to interview you.  Oh, gosh, this is gonna be great.”

I placed my hand on
Kage’s knee under the table and he raised his eyebrows but then grinned at me.  I blinked twice and then looked over at Steph.  “I don’t know if you wanted to look at outsider groups too, but I was thinking earlier when you first started talking about it…what about metalheads?  Then you have emos, Goths, you know, the types who know they’re outsiders, relish in it, and get in others’ faces about being proud to be on the outside?”

She nodded.  “Yeah, I could do that.”  She started typing again.  “You have lots of
metalhead friends I could interview, right?”

Oh…unlike my
homewrecker status, that’s where I could fill her book with all the horrors of being the outside kid in a small town and how and why I came to be a kid who clung to her identity as her only means of relief.  She had no idea.  And that was when I realized that part of me had merely been pretending to be the straight-laced college student.  I had denied the deepest, darkest, richest part of my soul.

But I knew it could and would always flourish with
Kage.  I squeezed his knee, hoping he could somehow know by my touch just how much he meant to me.