Bearly a Chance: A Second Chances Romance (21 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Her jaw dropped when she saw the inside. It was her dream home, writ small! She'd loved gran's cabin as a kid, but some parts just felt out of place to her. This place, though it felt like home, like the place she'd always been searching for. The log walls were stunning. Bare, and pristine, just waiting to be engraved with magic. The open great room arched to a peak, and wood beams highlighted the loft above the kitchen area. The kitchen was small, but well appointed. Stainless steel appliances, and meticulously kept cupboards and granite counter tops. She could totally imagine cooking, and serving food right there at the bar height counter that divided the kitchen area from the living/dining area. There wasn't a stone fireplace, but there was a gorgeous little wood stove seated on rock tiles in the corner of the living room.

The room was empty other than the stove. She couldn't resist peeking behind the doors set into the wall facing her. One, two bedrooms. Decent sized, with nice closets. The log walls were bare here too.

She stared at Ben, shivering. No one had ever offered her so much. "How? Why?"

His answering shrug, and the hand he clamped around hers before dragging her back to show her the back half of the cabin made her certain he would be too embarrassed to answer her questions. She took note of the location of the bathroom, just off the back of the kitchen, before he pulled her out the back door. Her breath caught in her throat at the view. Holy cow. However he'd gotten this place, it must have cost him a lot.

They stood shoulder to shoulder on a cedar deck. From there, they looked down a gently sloping hill across the still lake. She could see the lights of town sparkling in the dusk just the other side of the lake. Damn, she'd been sure they'd driven farther than this! But the lake couldn't be more than a mile wide from where they stood to the edge of town. She could barely make out the lights of the swimming beach and the city park.

"Mom left me a fair bit when she passed. I couldn't resist this place when it hit the market."

Aria nodded, and clenched her hand tight around his. He hadn't mentioned his mom. She hated being out of the loop so much that nobody even told her when people fucking died. "I'm sorry Ben. I didn't know she was gone."

He nodded, his big body shuddered for a moment. Then he spoke again. "I always wanted to raise our kids here, have a family, a life here. I know you probably hate me after everything-"

Aria shivered at the desolate tone in his voice, the rough growl that warned his bear was close. No, she didn't hate him. But she couldn't let fate dictate her life either.

"But I want my cubs to have the best. You deserve a home, you've done so well with Faith so far, but you need a safe haven. A place where cubs and kids can run wild and free, and grow strong."

Aria felt tears trickle down her cheeks, and scolded herself for being so hard hearted toward this man. This beautiful, selfless man. Still, she needed answers from him. Needed to know he wouldn't vanish on her again, leave her to fend for herself against the unknown.

"Why did you leave that night?"

"I thought I was sick, I didn't know about any of the secrets this town keeps-didn't want to get kicked out for being drunk on the night I planned to make you mine." Aria shivered at the possessive growl in his voice on the word mine, her eyes followed his motion as he patted the ring in his pocket.

"But?"

"But it was the night of my twenty first birthday. The night shifters change for the first time. And if I hadn't left, Bear would have torn his way out right there in the restaurant. I didn't know that, then. Hell, if I'd been with-in stumbling distance of the hospital, I'd have headed there."

"Where'd you go?"

"The alley. Arcos was there, he watched me change. And laughed at my pain. He laughed even harder when we watched you leave that morning."

"You watched me?" Aria trembled, flashing back to that moment, the golden eyes she'd spotted in the ally. Cats, or maybe coons, she'd assumed. Were those eyes really Ben and Arcos? Had to have been, and explained her sense that he'd not gone far and was in trouble. Damn.

"I should have looked harder, called for more help-"

"You couldn't have known Aria. I've learned a lot since then. Espen keeps its secrets well."

"But still, we didn't have to be apart for so long."

Ben nodded. "We did. Bear and I didn't get along." His dry tone sent shivers of conviction through Aria that this was more than an understatement on his part.

"Oh? Why not?"

"The moment bear set eyes on you, he demanded to claim you. Mate, mine, all possessive bullshit."

"You planned to propose that night, yes?"

Ben nodded. "There is an inherent choice in a proposal. Bear didn't care about choice. Still doesn't. Every day he demands I stake my claim, every day I demand he shut the fuck up and let you–me; us–choose. Choose our fate, our path."

Aria's heart surged in her chest at his description, his determination to set even his bear straight and put her needs, her choices first. Above even his own needs and wants.

How dared she hold his bear against him, when Ben had been diverting that beast, giving her freedom to choose?

"But you didn't let him claim me?"

"I couldn't chance hurting you. Couldn't chance losing you for good. If I'd thought for one minute that letting the beast have his way would have let us be together, I'd have gladly gone ahead with it. But you've never taken the straight, obvious path. Never taken the pre-planned path in all the time I've known you."

"So you argued with your bear?"

"No. We fought, Bear and I. Fought for ultimate control of this form, and this mind. Some days are still a fight."

"Oh." Aria worried for Faith in that moment. Would she have to fight every day of her life too?

Ben must have guessed the turn of her thoughts because he spoke again. "Arcos blames me. Says I need to let the bear take charge, instead of trying to compromise, come to an agreement all the time. Or I need to take charge. But Bear has as much right to a good life as I do. So we fight, we argue, and eventually we agree."

"Or agree to disagree as the case may be?" Arias smiled, small and light as she turned to face him. "How much arguing went into this?"

"The house? None. Planning this night? More than you can imagine." His voice was low and growly, and his eyes flashed silver in the rising moon light.

"Do you have to shift now?" Aria glances at the full moon hanging just above the treetops. She'd never noticed a correlation in Faith's shifts, but Ben wasn't Faith either.

Ben shook his head, growled, then rolled his shoulders a few times. When his gaze met hers again, it was clear blue, without a hint of silver. "No, I don't have to shift. Bear sure would like to, though."

"What will you do if I refuse this gift?"

"Refuse it why? It's perfect for cu-er, kids. And it's yours, free and clear either way."

"Because it's too much Ben. Too perfect, too extravagant and expensive. Besides where would you live?"

"Out there, Aria." He pointed to the trees. "I'd live out there and keep watch. Be ready to help Faith the way Arcos should have helped me."

Damn that man and his generous, protective heart. She couldn't stand to see him suffer for her selfishness, for her fear.

"And when I move on from this world? If you're out there, then I'll obviously still be without a mate...who will watch Faith, be her mother, teach her about boys and dresses and silly things girls like?" Aria fought to keep her voice calm and even. She couldn't imagine such a day, but everyone else seemed certain it was coming, willy-nilly, if she didn't stake her claim soon.

"I-" Ben's voice was tight and choked. "I, don't believe it'll come to that. Hell, Aria, I'll depose the damn gods myself to prevent it. But, Faith would never be alone, I'll always be there for her. And Victoria, probably even Delilah, the devious witch."

Aria nodded with each name he listed. And her heart soared when he threatened the gods to save her. She watched, tense, only to see the barest hint of silver in his gaze. Bear was there, and ready to face all threats. But with such a sliver of silver, either bear was holding back or Ben was restraining his beast. Huh. That would be a damn good trick for Faith to learn.

"Ben, I can't ask you to live in the forest."

He nodded, eyes wide and hopeful at her words.

"And I can't take your house from you."

He nodded again, and inched closer to her. She could smell the faint scent of after shave, clean and brisk.

"But I can share it with you, and with Faith."

The big grin that dawned on his face was brighter than the moon above. Hell, she was certain it would be brighter than the sun in daylight. Still, there was the little matter of fate to deal with.

Fate, and magic.

"I'm just not sure how to reconcile the past with the future, or our needs with the path that this new magic is insisting I walk."

Ben grinned, and his hands slipped up to clasp her shoulders. His blue eyes bored into hers, and she was certain that maybe he had a reasonable answer.

"What you do Aria, is say damn the consequences, and the gods, and the magic. And finish what we started three years ago."

His eyes flashed silver, and stayed silver as the last word ended on a growl.

"Well, when you put it that way, how can I refuse?" Aria leaned in and kissed him. She'd intended the kiss to be a simple seal of approval, a hint of good to come. In the short time they'd stood here, watching the moon rise, and discussing the possibility of a future together, her mind kept rebelling at imagining any other future than this place, and this man.

She'd chosen him once before-before magic and gods and bears-and nothing she'd seen so far had invalidated that choice. Be damned if she was going to let fate or fallen gods invalidate or redirect the choice she'd already made once before.

But his response to her gentle peck on the lips sent her whole world spinning. She was drowning and burning up at once, and her world narrowed to this one moment in time.

His lips were gentle and soft at first. But as the kiss went on, his hands slipped down and around her hips, than stroked up her back. He pulled her close, and his tongue stroked her lips, begging for entrance. She could feel him, hard and solid against her stomach. Damn, she'd missed this. Missed him.

She tangled her fists in his wavy hair, pulling him closer, and returned his kiss stroke for stroke. Heat rose in her core, demanding more, more kisses, more touching, more of him. Hell, she was ready to take him here and now under the bright moon and twinkling stars. She whimpered when he pulled back from their kiss with a shudder. His silver eyes echoed the moon light, and damn near glowed as he looked at her, as though he was trying to see her very thoughts.

She returned his gaze, strong and sure. He was hers, always had been and based on tonight, always would be whether she accepted it or not. Still, his eyes were uncertain, almost troubled?

"Are you sure? This-us-," he gestured between them, "is what you want?"

"I've wanted us since the night you walked out. I never stopped wanting us-" She leaned into him, shivering at the feel of his hard body pressed against hers. "I was just scared-scared you'd say no, or worse, leave again."

"I'm not going anywhere Aria. Not ever. I'll be your damn shadow, always underfoot even if you don't see me." He growled, then ran his hands down her sides, and slammed his mouth into hers.

She shivered when his warm hands wandered under her shirt and caressed bare skin. Fire and ice trailed behind his touch, and she could feel the magic gramps had gifted her rising to meet his touch. Damn. She pulled back and gasped for breath, and control, and tamped down the fiery magic inside her. No fucking way she was letting that loose on him without warning.

"Ben, the magic-" She struggled to explain, to give him an out. His silver eyes met hers, and he grinned.

"Don't worry. It's part of you, it won't hurt me." Ben growled low. She shivered when he lowered his mouth to that sensitive spot just on the side of her neck. He nipped, lightly, but his teeth were unexpectedly sharp. Damn, that felt good. Shivers echoed from her stomach up to her breasts, and she moaned. Hell, he could do that all he wanted at this rate.

Aria closed her eyes, and trailed gentle kisses across Ben's chest. She wished his shirt wasn't in the way of her kisses. She wanted to make him feel the same way his hot kisses affected her. She wanted him to tremble in her arms, beg for more. But he kept just enough control, despite the way his nibbles were driving her wild. His clever touches, a stroke along the curve of a breast here, a gentle cupping and pressure on her mound down there, and she was putty in his hands.

Cool air tickled her neck when he stopped trailing kisses there. She opened her eyes at the startling change, only to be dazzled by the glow surrounding them.
What the hell, am I doing that?
She experimented, trailed one hand slowly through his hair, and felt her eyes fly wide and her heart trip ever faster in her chest when her touch left dancing sparks of light behind.
Shit, how does that not hurt him?