Bearly Consenting: Russet Falls Series (18 page)

He couldn’t think of that now.

Life without Avery and serving Seraphina was far too bleak
to imagine.

Especially now that he had a taste of what life with Avery
was like.

He pulled up outside of Avery’s house, though her car wasn’t
in the driveway.

She must not be here yet.

Fine. He would wait outside.

He needed to see her face to face, needed to try to convey
the seriousness of the situation, even though he couldn’t come outright and say
why.

Again and again, he went over in his mind what he would say.

He wasn’t even paying attention when a knock came at the
passenger side window.

Drew jumped.

It was Avery’s mother.

He rolled the window down and smiled politely at her.

“Waiting for Avery?” she asked kindly.

Drew nodded. He felt awful for what was about to happen.

“Me too,” she smiled. “Why don’t you come inside and I’ll
make you a cup of tea and we can wait together. I cooked spaghetti and
meatballs, too. You’re welcome to join us for dinner.”

There was nothing Drew would love more. Avery’s mother was
so kind and gentle, and she had always been good to him.

“I would love to,” Drew said, “You have no idea. But I think
I’m going to stay here. It’s really important that I talk to Avery.”

Her mother gave him an odd look.

“Okay,” she said slowly. “If you change your mind, I’ll be
inside. Hopefully she’ll be here soon,” she said, glancing at her watch.

“I hope so,” Drew agreed.

“She told me around eight, so it shouldn’t be much longer.”

“Perfect.” Drew glanced at his clock. It wouldn’t be long
now.

Avery’s mother went back to the house and Drew continued to
wait, feeling more and more like an asshole as the seconds passed by.

He was about to break Avery’s heart for a second time.

Oh yes, there would be a special place in Hell for him.

Avery’s car came into view and Drew jumped out of his car.

“Drew,” Avery said shocked, getting out of the car.

Drew felt terrible. He hadn’t gotten in touch with her over
the past couple of days.

“Look, I know you don’t want me here,” she said quickly,
“but I just couldn’t do it. I want you to know that I support you, and whether
you like it or not. You never had that kind of support growing up, and you
deserve it.”

She was far too good for him.

“Avery,” he swallowed, looking at the ground. “We have to
talk.”

She was quiet for a minute.

“No.” She said firmly. “No! You are not doing this. Don’t
you dare, Drew! You are not doing this to me!”

He looked at her, and he felt like absolute scum.

“Avery,” he began again.

“No!” she cried. “I don’t know what this is about, and why
you are pushing me away, but you’re not doing it this time! I know that you
don’t want this! So, whatever reason is making you do this, whatever you think
you’re doing to help me, just stop! It’s not helping!”

“Avery, please.”

“Damn it, Drew- no! You can’t push me away this time. I know
you too well. I know you don’t want this.”

“Avery –just listen!” he yelled.

She froze.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. I’m doing this for your
safety.”

“That’s crap! I don’t buy it!”

“I am,” he said in a low voice. “This tribe is not safe.
It’s not safe for you to be with me. Do you understand that? Don’t you remember
me telling you that I’m involved with things I can’t tell you about? Things
I’ve done.”

And then an idea came to him.

“I already saw Ryker. I refused to help. Guess how that went
over?”

Avery gulped, her eyes wide.

“Exactly,” he said. “I’m the enemy now because I won’t help.
I’ve turned on my tribe, according to Ryker. So you can’t associate with me.”

“But we don’t even live here,” she argued, her voice rising.
“We both live in Portland. Who cares? I don’t ever have to come back here,
Drew!”

“No!”

She grabbed his hand, and Drew was flooded with emotion,
desire, love.

His bear roared his love and approval.

This was unbearable.

“Yes,” he said firmly, pulling his hand from her. “Good bye
Avery. I love you too much to put you in harm’s way.”

Without looking at her, he jumped in his car and backed out,
refusing to see how badly he had crushed her heart.

Chapter Twenty-Five

She stood there stunned, her heart pounding in her chest.
She was frozen, unable to move, refusing to believe what had just happened.

“No,” she said softly, standing in the now empty street.

“Avery,” her mother said gently, walking towards her.

Avery hadn’t even seen her come outside. Had she been
outside the entire time? Had she heard every word?

“Mom. Don’t,” Avery said, holding up her hands to stop her
mother. She couldn’t hear whatever it was that her mother had to say.

“Avery,” she pleaded, “I heard what he said. I don’t know
what’s going on, but I think you need to let him go.”

“Mom. No. You have no idea.”

Her mother touched her arm, and Avery jumped back as if she
had been scalded.

“Honey, there are things that happen in this tribe that we
know nothing about. Things that we couldn’t possibly understand.” She paused.
“Dark things.” She took Avery by the hand, and this time Avery didn’t resist.
As if in a trance, she let her mother guide her towards the house.

“If Drew is mixed up in some of those dark things,” her
mother continued, “You need to keep your distance. It sounded like he was
protecting you. I don’t doubt that he doesn’t love you.”

Something about those words resonated with Avery.

Drew
did
love her.

Avery was certain of that.

She pulled back from her mother.

“I know,” she said, her voice strong now. “Drew does love
me. And he needs me more now than ever.” She left her mother, hurrying towards
her car.

“Avery! Where are you going!”

“I’m sorry, Mom!” she called. “But I’ve got to go to him!”

Avery! Please! Don’t do this! I don’t want you to get hurt!
I don’t want you involved!”

Avery jumped into her car, hastily buckling her seatbelt and
throwing the car into drive. “I’ll call soon!” she yelled out the window,
before speeding off.

She was crazy. She had just come from Portland and now she
was heading back. Drew had to be a good few miles ahead of her, so she doubted
that she could catch up with him.

And what would she do anyway? Follow him all the way home?

To his house?

She didn’t even know where he lived, besides that it was in
Lake Oswego.

As she drove towards Portland, her mind raced of how she
could find Drew’s address. She figured that Lindsay would be her best bet.

She called Lindsay and luckily she answered on the first
ring.

“Hey Avery,” Lindsay answered.

“Hi,” she said somewhat breathlessly. “I can’t really talk
and I can’t really explain, but I need a favor.”

“Okay,” Lindsay said slowly.

“Do you think you could find out where Drew lives?”

There was a long pause and Avery knew how ridiculous she
sounded.

“Umm, that’s kind of a weird question.”

“I know. I know it’s strange. But I’ve never been to his
house.”

“You can’t ask him?”

“No, that’s part of the problem!” she nearly cried. Taking a
deep breath, she collected herself. “I know it’s weird, but I really need to
find his address, and I can’t ask him. All I know is that he lives in Lake
Oswego.”

“Fine. I’ll see what I can do,” Lindsay said, “But you owe
me.”

“I know! Thank you!”

They got off the phone, and Avery kept her eyes on the road,
anxiously awaiting for Lindsey to call back.

Fifteen minutes later, her cell rang and it was Lindsay.

“Okay, you really owe me,” she said. “I was able to track it
down from a colleague, but I sounded like a complete psychopath.”

“Thank you so much!” Avery cried. She scribbled the address
down on a scrap piece of paper, barely being able to keep the car on the road.

She wasn’t usually this reckless, and she knew that she
needed to keep a level head the best that she could.

The ride back to Portland was agonizingly long, and she
didn’t know what to expect with planning to show up at Drew’s house. She hoped
that he went straight home, otherwise she would have no way to find him.

She refused to cry, because she knew that this couldn’t be
it. She knew that Drew was just trying to protect her, but she couldn’t fathom
not being with him.

She slowed the car down as she entered his development,
glancing quickly at the navigation on her phone.

Holy crap.

She was not expecting the houses to be so
big.

She wound her car along the roads, passing multiple gated
homes, and her heart sank as she thought of what she would do should Drew’s
house be gated. She hadn’t come this far, to be turned away, so she would climb
the damn gate if she needed.

Sure enough, she reached Drew’s house and there was a gate.
It was dark, and she couldn’t see up the long driveway which wound it’s way up
a small hill. Trees shrouded her view, and she peered curiously up the hill.

Taking a deep breath, she rolled her window down and pushed
the buzzer.

No answer.

Damn it.

She pushed it again but still nothing.

She didn’t want to have to call Drew, but she had no choice.

She worried that he wouldn’t answer.

“What is it, Avery?” he asked, his voice sounding ragged
with emotions.

“Where are you?” she asked, trying not to sound so nervous.

“Avery, we can’t be doing this.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m home!”

Avery took another shaky breath. “Well, I’m at your gate, so
please let me in.”

“What?” She could hear the mixture of shock and annoyance in
his voice.

“I’m at your gate, and I would appreciate it if you could
let me in.”

“Avery, I told you-’’

“Damn it, Drew! Let me in! You don’t just tell me something,
and not let me speak, and then drive off and leave me standing in the middle of
the road!” Hot, angry tears pricked at her eyes.

“You’re right,” he said, sighing. “That was wrong of me.
Hang on.”

She heard the gate click open, and she breathed a massive
sigh of relief.

“Thank you,” she started to say, but Drew cut her off.

“You can’t stay long.”

Feeling tears prick her eyes again, Avery nodded, even
though she knew he couldn’t see her.

She hung up, following the driveway up to the top of the
hill. Suddenly his house came into view, and she nearly drove off the road.

Perched on top of a small cliff was the most spectacular
home she had ever seen. It was done in a Mediterranean style, and the rooms
glowed from within.

Her jaw hanging open, she pulled the car into the large
driveway and got out slowly. The front of the house was somewhat hidden behind
a grove of trees and potted plants, and she felt as if she had stepped into
another country as she approached the front door.

Before she could even knock, Drew pulled the door open and
he stood there looking worn and broken.

All the anger and confusion that Avery was feeling melted
away, and she went to him. She had never seen him so vulnerable before, and she
ached to help him.

She hugged him tightly and he hugged her back.

“Drew,” she whispered, “let me help you.”

“You can’t,” he choked.

He pulled back to look at her, his eyes searching her face.
Avery thought he was going to kiss her, and she
wanted
to kiss him, but
then he stepped back. His eyes hardened, and a mask slid back over his face.

Gone was the look of vulnerability.

“Come in,” he said stiffly, “You can’t stay long.”

Avery stepped into the foyer, and she looked around with
amazement. The home was done in warm, neutral tones with exposed beams, and
natural hard wood floors. It looked like something out of a magazine.

“Drew,” she murmured in awe, “This house is amazing.”

He shrugged, looking around. “It’s a big house for just one
person.” He looked at Avery longingly. “It’s become too lonely.”

Avery went to him, taking his hands in her own and not
letting him pull back.

“Drew, something is seriously wrong. You need to tell me.”

“I can’t,” he said helplessly.

Avery had never seen Drew so powerless, so destitute and it
frightened her.

“Whatever it its, we can face it together,” she promised. “I
said that I was all in, and you promised that you weren’t going to break my
heart again,” she reminded him, her voice shaking. “Don’t break my heart again,
Drew. I know you don’t want that.”

He shook his head, pacing away from her and she followed on
his heels.

They moved into an incredible kitchen, outfitted with marble
countertops, and more of the natural wood colors. She barely had time to notice
the enviable kitchen gadgets and state of the art appliances.

“I don’t want to break your heart, Avery! Damn it!” he
yelled, his eyes flashing. “This is not how I envisioned things! Please
understand.”

 “Well, I can’t understand!” she yelled back. “I love you!”

He froze.

“Yes! I love you! There! It’s out, and I can’t take it back!
I love you—so what the hell am I supposed to do now?” She collapsed into a
heap, her emotions finally getting the best of her, the tears flowing freely
down her cheeks now.

This is what she had been afraid of.

She had let her guard down, had committed herself to Drew,
and she knew deep down that she was playing with fire.

He had warned her all along. Had told her that there were
things she couldn’t understand. Things that were deep and dark.

He came to her now, wrapping his arms around her and pulling
her off the floor.

“Shh,” he soothed, “I’m so sorry, Avery. I’m so sorry.”

He was sorry, but he wasn’t telling her that they could work
it out.

She pulled out of his embrace.

She had too much pride for this.

Avery had gotten through this before, and she would get
through it again. It would be harder, but she knew she could survive it.

“I need to go.” Her voice sounded wooden and far away.

“You shouldn’t drive like this.”

He wasn’t asking her to stay.

Mortified, she wiped at her eyes.

“I’m leaving now Drew.” Her voice was so much steadier than
she felt. “I won’t contact you again. I won’t bother you. You won’t hear from
me anymore. I just ask that you do the same.”

She moved towards the door.

“Avery. Wait.”

She stopped but didn’t turn around.

“We need to talk more.”

Slowly, she faced him. “Why?” she asked sadly, feeling a
lump in her throat. “So you can find new ways to tell me that you don’t want
me?” She didn’t mean to sound so harsh and she saw the hurt and pain on his
face.

“No,” he said almost to himself. “No, this isn’t right.”

He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes wild and crazy.

For a moment, Avery thought she saw a tinge of yellow, but
then it was gone.

“I can’t,” he groaned. “I know that you leaving would be
best for you, because you would be safe. But I can’t fucking do it.”

Two large strides and he was next to her, grabbing her
roughly and pulling her to him.

Avery cried out with surprise.

She dropped her purse, kissing him back with the same desire
and urgency, their bodies heating up at record speed as they pressed against
one another.

Groaning, Drew pushed her up against the large stone table
in the foyer, and Avery dug her nails into his arms, before reaching down and
tugging his shirt over his head.

She looked at Drew briefly and saw the shock in his eyes.

He kissed her harder. “I love you, Avery,” he declared,
cupping her face. “I love you.”

She kissed him back. “Do you want me to go?” she panted,
feeling her desire blooming deep within her belly.

“No,” he groaned.

“Then we’re in this together.” She slipped her hands into
the waist of his pants, making him groan again.

“Say it,” she whispered.

“We’re in this together,” he repeated, before picking her
up, and cradling her in his arms like a baby doll.

He carried her past the kitchen to a grand staircase that
was framed by floor to ceiling windows. Avery was torn between looking at
Drew’s eyes burning desire for her, or the magnificent house.

Drew noticed and gave a deep chuckle. “I’ll give you a tour
later. But first, I’m taking you to bed.”

Avery didn’t put up a fight this time.