Beastly (14 page)

“Not so terrible? Have you ever been a prisoner? Are you now?”

“No.”

I studied her. I remembered her, from the day of the dance. I’d thought she was homely then, with her red hair, freckles, and bad teeth. The teeth hadn’t changed, but she wasn’t, really, just plain-looking. I was glad she wasn’t beautiful, as her father had said. Someone beautiful could never see past my ugliness.

Maybe this girl could.

“I have,” she said. “For sixteen years, I’ve been a prisoner. But I’ve been digging myself a tunnel.

On my own, I applied and got a scholarship to one of the best private schools in the city. I took a train there every day. The rich kids there ignored me because I wasn’t one of them. They thought I was scum.

Maybe they were right. But I studied my hardest, got the highest grades. I knew it was the only way out of my life, to get a scholarship, go to college, get out of here. But instead, to keep my father out of jail, I have to be a prisoner here. It isn’t fair.”

“I understand,” Will said. I knew he had to be impressed with her, with the way she spoke. She’d even used a metaphor, about the tunnel. She was really smart.

“What does he want from me?” the girl cried. “To make me work for him? To use me for sex?”

“No. I wouldn’t go along if that were the case.”

“Really?” She looked a little relieved, but said, “What, then?”

“I think…” Will stopped. “I know he is lonely.”

She stared at him but didn’t say anything.

Finally, he said, “I’ll give you a chance to rest and look over your new home. Magda will bring your lunch at noon. You can meet her then. If you need anything, ask and it’s yours.” He walked out and closed the door behind him.

I watched Linda as she walked around the room, touching various objects. Her eyes lingered longest on one of the vases of roses. She picked up a yellow bloom that I thought was the prettiest. She held it to her face a moment, smelling it, then pressing it to her cheek. Finally, she replaced it in its vase.

She walked through the suite, opening doors and drawers. The elaborate wardrobe had no effect, but at the library door, she gasped and stopped. She tilted her head upward, taking in the rows of books that stretched to the ceiling. I’d noticed her homework and tried to buy things she’d like, not only novels, but books about physics, religion, philosophy, and duplicate volumes for myself so I could read anything that caught her attention. I’d started work on a database with all the books listed by title, author, and subject, like the real library, but it wasn’t finished yet.

She climbed the ladder and chose a book, then two. She held them close to her, like a security blanket, or a shield. This, at least, was a success. She took the books back to the bedroom, placed them on the night table, then collapsed onto the bed, sobbing.

I wanted to comfort her, but I knew I couldn’t, not now. I hoped that someday she’d understand.

5

At noon, Magda brought Lindy her lunch. I watched in the mirror. Some days, Magda bought take-out for lunch, because I missed fast food. But today, I’d asked her to make something a girl would like –

sandwiches with no crusts, fancy, girly soup. The china was edged in pink roses. Her water was in a crystal glass with a stem. The knife and fork were sterling silver. The meal looked delicious.

I watched. She didn’t eat it and returned it to Magda when she came back. She sank into bed, reading a book from the shelf. I checked the title. Shakespeare’s sonnets.

I was afraid to knock on the door. I had to make my move sometime, but I didn’t know how to do it without terrifying her. Would it be too much to yell, “Please let me in, and I promise not to eat you”?

Probably. Probably she’d be scared even at the sound of my voice. But I wanted her to know that if she’d just come out, I’d be nice to her.

Finally, I wrote her a note.

Dear Lindy,

Welcome! Do not be afraid. I hope you will be comfortable in your new home.

Whatever you want, you only have to ask. I will see that you get it immediately.

I am looking forward to meeting you at dinner tonight. I want you to like me.

Sincerely, Adrian King

I deleted the last sentence, printed it out, then brought the letter up to her room and slipped it under the door. I waited, afraid to move in case I made a noise.

A minute later, the note came back.

The word NO was written in large letters across the page.

I sat there a long time, thinking. Could I write her letters like some romantic hero, get her to fall in love with me that way? No way. I was no writer. And how could I get to love her when I’d only seen her in the mirror? I had to get her to talk to me. I walked up to the door and knocked, tentative and soft. When she didn’t answer, I tried again, louder.

“Please,” came her answer. “There’s nothing I want. Just go away!”

“I have to talk to you,” I said.

“Who… who is that?”

“Adrian…” Kyle… the master of this house… the beast who lives here. “My name is Adrian. I’m the one…” The one who is holding you prisoner. “I wanted to meet you.”

“I don’t want to meet you! I hate you!”

“But… do you like the rooms? I’ve tried to make everything nice for you.”

“Are you crazy? You’ve kidnapped me! You’re a kidnapper.”

“I didn’t kidnap you. Your father gave you to me.”

“He was forced to.”

That got me mad. “Yeah, right. He broke into my house. Did he tell you that? He was robbing me. I have the whole thing on surveillance. And then, instead of taking his punishment like a man, he brought you here to take it for him. He was willing to sell you to save himself. I’m not going to hurt you, but he didn’t know that. For all he knew, I could be keeping you in a cage.” She didn’t say anything. I wondered what story he’d told her, if this was the first she knew of the truth.

“What a scum,” I muttered, starting to walk away.

“Be quiet! You have no right!” She pounded the door hard, maybe with her fist, maybe with something else, like a shoe.

God, was I dumb. Of course that wasn’t the smartest thing to say. Story of my life lately. Had I always said stark-raving stupid things before? Maybe so, but I’d gotten away with them. Until Kendra.

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” Stupid, stupid, stupid.

She didn’t answer.

“Did you hear me? I said I was sorry.”

Still nothing. I knocked on the door, I called her name. Finally, I left.

An hour later, she was still in the room, and I was pacing the floor, thinking of what I should have said. So what if I’d kidnapped her? She didn’t have anything to leave behind anyway. This house was nicer than anything she’d ever had, ever imagined, but was she grateful? No. I don’t know what I expected, but not this.

I went to Will. “I want her to come out. Can you get her to?”

“How do you propose I do that?” Will said.

“Tell her I want her to, that she has to.”

“That you order her to? The way you ordered her father to give her over? That worked… well.” It wasn’t the way I’d thought of it, but yes. I guess it was what I wanted. “Yes.”

“And how do you think she’ll feel about that?”

“How does she feel? What about how I feel? I worked all week to make her comfortable, to make it nice for her, and the ungrateful… girl… she doesn’t even come out to see me?”

“See you? She doesn’t want to see the person who took her from her home, from her father. Adrian, you’re holding her prisoner!”

“Her father’s a lowlife.” I hadn’t told Will about the mirror, about how I’d watched her in the mirror before, seen her father hit her. “She’s better off without him. And I don’t mean her to be a prisoner. I want –”

“I know what you want, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t see the roses in the vases, or the way you’ve painted the walls. She only sees a monster, and she hasn’t even looked at you yet.” My hand flew to my face, but I knew Will was talking about my behavior.

“A monster,” he continued, “who brought her here for God knows what purpose – to murder her in her sleep. Or to keep her as a slave. She’s afraid, Adrian.”

“Okay, I get it. But how can I let her know that’s not why I have her here?”

“You’re really asking my advice?”

“You see anyone else around?”

Will grimaced. “Nope. No one.” Then he reached out toward me. He found my shoulder, finally, and put his hand on it. “Don’t tell her to do anything. If she wants to stay in her room, let her. Let her know that you respect her right to choose.”

“If she stays in her room, I’ll never get her to care about me.” Will patted my shoulder. “Just give it a chance.”

“Thanks. That’s helpful.” I turned and started to walk away.

Will’s voice stopped me. “Adrian.” I turned back. “Sometimes it also helps to have a bit less pride.”

“Another winner,” I said. “I have no pride at all at this point.” But an hour later, I knocked on Lindy’s door once again. I’d show no pride, only remorse. This was hard to do, because I wasn’t going to let her go. I couldn’t.

“Go away!” she yelled. “Just because you have me here doesn’t mean I’ll do –”

“I know,” I answered. “But can I just… can you listen to me for a minute?”

“Do I have a choice?” she said.

“Yes. Yes, you have a choice. You have tons of choices. You can listen to me, or you can tell me to screw off. You can ignore me forever. You’re right. You did your end by coming here. We don’t have to be friends.”

“Friends? Is that what you call it?”

“It’s what I…” I stopped. It was too pathetic to say it was what I’d hoped, that I had no friends, and I wanted – so wanted – her to talk to me, to be with me, to say something that would make me laugh and bring me back to the real world, even if it was nothing more. What a loser I’d be if I said that.

I remembered what Will said about pride. “I hope we can be friends someday. I understand if you don’t want to be, if you’re…” I choked on the words disgusted, revolted by me, terrified of me. “Look, what you need to know is, I don’t eat human flesh or anything. I am human, even if I don’t look it. And I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want except stay here. I hope you’ll decide to come out soon.”

“I hate you!”

“Yeah, you mentioned that.” Her words were like whips, but I continued. “Will and Magda, they work here. Will can tutor you if you like. Magda will make your meals. She’ll clean your room, shop, do your laundry, whatever you want.”

“I… I don’t want anything. I want my life back.”

“I know,” I said, remembering what Will said about her feelings. I’d been thinking for an hour about her feelings, about how maybe she actually cared about her horrible father the same way, damn it –

I hated admitting this – I’d cared about mine. “I hope…” I stopped, thinking about it, then decided Will was right. “I hope you’ll come out sometime because…” I couldn’t choke the next words out.

“Because what?”

I caught sight of my reflection in the glass of one of the framed pictures in the hallway, and I couldn’t say it. I couldn’t. “Nothing.”

An hour later, dinner was ready. Magda had made a wonderful-smelling arroz con polio. At my request, she knocked on Linda’s door carrying a tray.

“I don’t want any dinner,” came Linda’s answer. “Are you kidding?”

“I have brought you a tray,” Magda asked. “You eat in there?” A pause. Then: “Yes. Yes, please. That would be fine. Thank you.” I ate dinner, as always, with Magda and Will. After dinner, I said, “I’m going to bed.” I gave Will a look that said, I did everything you said, and it didn’t work.

Even though he couldn’t see it, he said, “Patience.”

But I couldn’t sleep, knowing she was two floors above me, feeling her hatred coming through the vents of the air conditioner, the walls, the floors. This was not what I’d wanted. It would never work. I was a beast, and I would die a beast.

6

“I thought of something helpful,” Will had said the day after she came.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Silence. If you leave her alone, perhaps she’ll come around.”

“This may be why you’re not actually surrounded by girls.”

“Talking to her didn’t work, did it?”

I had to admit, he was right, so I decided to do what he said. What scared me was she hadn’t seen me yet. What would she say when she did?

In the next days, I was silent. Lindy stayed in her room. I watched her in the mirror. The only things she liked were the books and the roses. I read every book she read. I stayed up late into the night reading, to keep up with her. I didn’t even try to talk to her again. And every night, when I got so tired the book fell from my hand, I lay in bed, feeling her hatred like a phantom walking the night hallways. Maybe this was a bad idea. But what other hope did I have?

“I underestimated her,” I told Will.

“Yes, you did.”

I looked at him, surprised. “You think so too?”

“I always thought so. But tell me, Adrian, why do you think so?”

“I thought she’d be impressed with the stuff I bought her, the beautiful furniture, and the clothes.

She’s poor, and I thought that if I bought her jewelry and pretty things, she’d give me a chance. But she doesn’t want any of it.”

Will smiled. “No, she doesn’t. She just wants her freedom. Don’t you?”

“Yes.” I thought of Tuttle, of the dance, of what I’d said to Trey about how the school dance was legalized prostitution. It seemed so long ago. “I’ve never met anyone who couldn’t be bought. It makes me sort of like her.”

“I wish that understanding that was enough to break the curse. I’m proud of you for it.” Proud of you. No one had ever said that to me, and for a second, I wished I could hug Will, just to feel the touch of another human being. But that would be very strange.

That night, I lay awake later than usual, hearing the sounds of the old house. “Settling,” some people would call it. But I thought I heard footsteps upstairs. Were they her footsteps? Impossible, through two floors. But still I couldn’t sleep.

Finally, I got up and went to the second-floor living room, turned on ESPN real soft, so it wouldn’t bug her. I put on jeans and a shirt to do this, which in the past I’d have done in my boxers. Even though she’d pledged to stay in her room forever, I didn’t want to take a chance of her seeing more of me than my face. My face was bad enough.