Beat (The Beat and The Pulse #1) (8 page)

“You need to loosen
your muscles,” he said matter-of-factly.

I guess he'd know
being all super fighter, but I couldn't think of anything worse.

“Sit,” he commanded,
nodding at the bench.

Because I had no impulse
control where Ash was concerned, I put my ass on the bench like a good little
girl. Should I feel special because the star fighter was giving me a
personalized training session? Why the fuck would he care? Sure, he made me
melt in all the places that mattered when it came to a rip roaring orgasm, but
what was in it for him?

Ash straddled the
bench behind me and before I could ready myself, his hands were on me. Thumbs
began circling into my muscles, sending tingles right across my skin. A ripped,
handsome as hell man giving me a shoulder massage? Um, yes.

Shifting around, I
flung a leg over the other side of the bench, my body between his legs. The
warmth radiating from him was almost overwhelming and I had to resist the urge
to lean back into his chest and moan like a cat in heat. The whole thing was...
erotic
.

His thumbs moved to
the base of my neck, his fingers wrapping over my shoulders, his palms pressing
into the places he'd already worked.

“Do any of your
muscles feel tight?” he murmured into my ear, his hot breath fluttering against
my skin.

“No,” I whispered,
but it came out strangled. My entire body began to dissolve into one hot mess
and before I knew it, I was leaning back into his chest.

The hard ridge of his
cock pressed into my lower back and my breath hitched. God, he was
hard
and despite all our hurtful back and forths, I wanted it in me. I wanted to
feel what he could do to me with everything he had. I wanted it all. He wanted
something, but Ash was like a wild beast. One wrong move and it'd spook him and
he’d bolt and never come back.

Lips grazed the shell
of my ear and a shiver rippled through my body, making my sex clench. Leaning
my cheek into his neck, I breathed in his scent deeply. He smelt like sweat and
musk, like some heady drug I couldn't get enough of.

Shit, if he'd asked
me, I'd strip his shorts off and go down on him in a flash. I'd suck him hard
and I'd take him so fucking deep he'd forget his own name. Then I'd stick my
ass in the air and let him fuck me like a beast...if he asked. But all he did
was gently push his palms against my shoulders, separating our bodies.

My eyes snapped open
and I was relieved he couldn’t see the hurt blooming on my face because I sure
as fuck couldn’t hide it. Without a word, I stood sharply, snatching up my
towel and strode across the mat to the showers. Ash’s gaze burnt into my back
until I rounded the corner and the moment I was hidden from it, I let my head
drop into my hand.

He was hard and he
didn’t want me.

Who the fuck was I
kidding? I could lust after Ash all I wanted, but I was nothing to guys like
him. I wasn’t pretty or dressed nice or slapped makeup on my face. I wasn’t
exactly dynamite in bed. I wasn’t anybody but the abandoned daughter of the
high and mighty Coach of Beat. I fucking slept at the studio in the fucking
storage
closet
. That right there, said everything.

Slamming the door to
the nearest shower open, I turned on the water as far as it would go, locking
myself in. Then I stripped, tossing the clothes marred by his touch to the
floor.

After all the shit
I’d been though in my life, I didn’t know what I deserved anymore. All I ever
knew was loss and if Ash had rejected me any more bluntly than he just did,
then…I didn’t know what. Better to not know. Ignorance being bliss and all.

Ducking my head
underneath the spray of water, I let it wash away all traces of sweat and
humiliation, hoping that would be enough to get the fuck over it.

Chapter 12

Ren

I managed to sneak
out of Beat the next morning before Ash showed up.

I knew all about
rejection, but his stung the worst. I lay awake most of the night wondering
what the hell was wrong with me. Wasn’t I pretty enough? Wasn’t I fit enough?
Was it because I was the Coach’s daughter? Was it because I wasn’t easy? Was it
because I was damaged? I couldn’t figure it out.

In the end, I closed
my eyes and decided that I'd dodged a bullet. Ash obviously had issues and by
our powers combined…I didn’t know if I had the strength to deal with his
problems as well as mine. Someone would get hurt and it would probably be me.

I turned up at the
cafe at seven like Joseph asked me to and Seth spent the half hour before
opening showing me the ropes. He was kind and patient and explained everything
down to the wire. Unlike the guys at Beat, he was extremely easy to talk to.
They got me to clean tables and take orders out to customers, nothing that
required rocket science, just vigilance.

By the time Josie
came in, I was getting right into it and all thoughts of Ash had simmered down to
a dull roar. This job thing was a great idea. It got me out of Beat and away
from everything that was slapping me around the head. Dad, Monica, Ash… It was
my own private space.

“Hey,” Josie called
out, the bell over the door ringing at her abrupt entrance.

I leaned on the
counter and smiled, feeling a little frazzled. “Hey.”

She dumped her bag on
our usual table and asked, “Everything, okay? How’s working with Seth?” She
gave me a suggestive wink.

“God, leave it
Josie.” I rolled my eyes.

She looked me up and
down with a raised eyebrow as I rubbed my temples. “Ash didn’t do something,
did he?”

“He turned up last
night while I was training,” I replied, unable to keep it in any longer.

“What? In the middle
of the night?”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “It
was almost midnight.”

Josie leaned over the
counter. “Did he come to see you?”

I frowned. I didn’t
actually know why he’d come. Maybe he wanted to train like he did that first
night when I almost smacked him out with that cricket bat. Or maybe he did want
to see me. It wasn’t a secret I slept upstairs.

Josie took my silence
as an admission. “
He did!
”

“I don’t know,” I
hissed, glancing at Seth, whose back was turned at the coffee machine. “He
helped me out a little and-” I clamped my mouth shut.

“And 
what
?”

I slapped my hand on
my forehead. “Shit.”

“Ren, you keep
holding out on me.” Josie pouted. “Your entire life at Beat is like a soap
opera and I need my fix. No cliffhangers.”

I sighed, not knowing
how to talk about guys to anyone. It wasn’t high on the priority list until
recently. “There was a moment…”

She gasped, her eyes
widening in excitement. “An almost 
kiss 
moment?”

Reluctantly, I
nodded. “The asshole dropped the facade for a split second, that’s all.”

“
Ren
.”

“Don’t Ren me,” I
said with a tiny hint of a smile. “I’m embarrassed and totally mortified that I
let him get to me.”

“Isn’t that the
point?” she asked. “To let him get to you?”

I sighed. He’d get to
me and destroy me. I shook my head, no. I was still too delicate after Mum and
everything at the studio and if Ash’s rejection had been any more blunter than
it had been, then I wouldn’t be able to get over it.

“He pushed me away,
Josie,” I said, casting my gaze away, tears beginning to prickle. Fuck, tears?
Did I give that much of a shit about Ash Fuller? He was nice to me 
once
.

A pair of suits
vacated a table by the window and I picked up the tub and cloth to clean up
their mess.

“Maybe he’s shy?”
Josie offered.

“Shy?” I scoffed,
rounding the counter and making a beeline for the table. “He’s anything but
shy.”

Truth was, I knew
next to nothing about Ash Fuller and starting something with him, no matter how
casual, would be stupid. That guy could be anyone.

“Order up, Josie,”
Seth called out, holding up a take out cup.

Thankful for the reprieve,
I focused on cleaning up the mess left behind by the suits, shoving all
thoughts of Ash Fuller to the back of my mind, locking them up and throwing
away the key. I’d have to deal with him sooner or later, but I’d rather it was
later.

Much, much later.

Chapter 13

Ash

Ren avoided me all
day.

Or at least, I
figured she was. She didn’t come back to Beat until late afternoon and she hid
upstairs until I had to leave.

I stood outside of
Beat in the darkness, staring at the door wondering if I should go in or not.
It had been stupid to turn up last night, but I couldn’t help myself. I needed
an outlet and she’d been there. I knew Ren took all the classes, I’d watched
her form improving every night, but she steered clear of the Friday
free-for-all. Thank fuck she didn’t go in for that or I’d drag her ass out of
there myself.

Ren getting hurt
didn’t seem to sit well with me and what the hell was up with that?

All day and all night
my thoughts were full of Ren. Who the fuck was she? Not more than an hour ago I
was pounding my fists into some poor guy until he tapped out. Until the air was
tinged with the sickly scent of blood. The beast was unleashed and all I could
think about was her.

Kissing her, touching
her, 
fucking her
.

How fucked up was
that?

I'd break her.
Despite her bitch of a mouth, she'd had enough crap in her life. She didn't
deserve to be destroyed as well. But it was too late, wasn't it?

I had to see her
again, just her and I...just to make sure it was real.

I ran a hand through
my hair, my heart jackhammering in my chest. Fuck, I was amped up more than
usual. I needed to go in and blow off some steam, but she would be doing the
same thing.

Motherfucking 
Ren
.
She was destroying my impulse control.

Grimacing, I stuck my
key in the lock.

Chapter 14

Ren

Day one of Operation
Avoid Ash went down without a hitch. I didn’t know how long I could keep up
with it, but I was determined to try.

I slammed a gloved
fist into the bag hanging in front of me, relishing the sharp impact against my
knuckles. Training had fast become my outlet in the first days I’d been at
Beat, but now it had become an outlet for my sexual frustration. Rubbing one
out didn’t seem to help, but beating the crap out of something
did
.

The outside door
slammed closed and I jumped, my gaze fixing on Ash.
Great
. He punched
the code into the alarm and prowled over to where I stood on the mat. I glared
at him so hard it was a wonder he didn’t burst into flames.

“You came back?” I
scoffed. “One night of humiliation wasn’t enough?”

He flexed his
fingers, curling them into tight fists. “
Ren
.”

With a sigh, I glared
up at him, my gaze falling on a cut cheek and skin that was already fixing for
one hell of a bruise. “What the hell did you do to your face?”

“Shit, Ren. You
worried that I’ve marred my good looks?”

I rolled my eyes.
“God, you’re so full of yourself.”

“Your smart mouth
turns me on, you know that?”

My pussy clenched. “
Puke
.”

I looked him over
again and wondered where the hell he was going in between Beat and my midnight
training sessions. Was he fighting someplace?  Or just beating up guys for
the hell of it? With Ash, there was no way of telling. That guy was a closed
book.

Like I was addicted
to punishment, I asked, “Why did you come here?”

Ash frowned and
flexed his fingers. “I don’t want to go home.”

Despite my rage, I
felt my heart soften. Turning back toward the bag, I said, “Spot me, then.”

He pulled off his
shirt and kicked off his trainers before positioning himself behind the bag,
like he had the night before.

Focusing on my anger,
I went thought another set, reluctantly acknowledging that I preferred the
resistance of a spotter than the swing back that I usually got.

After another, he
stepped back and said, “That’s enough, I’ve gotta do my own.”

Grunting, I shook out
my arms, waiting for him to move before I started a new set, this time working
on the new kind of blows with my forearm and elbow that I’d learnt in class.

Ash took the bag next
to mine and we did our own thing, our gazes catching occasionally in the mirror
in front. He kept stealing glances and I didn’t like whatever thought he had
running through his tiny brain. Anything in that guy’s head was bad news.

Finally, he said,
“You’re getting better.”

Stopping to wipe my
brow with the back of my arm, I said, “That’s the aim.”

“Why do you train?”

Raising my eyebrows,
I shrugged. That was way to personal of an answer to give to the likes of
Ash Fuller.

“What?” he asked.
“Did I ask the wrong question?”

“I just don’t want to
give you the answer.”

He flashed a cocky
smile at me. “Why not? Embarrassed?”

I wanted to piss him
off, so I asked the thing that would probably cut the deepest. “If you got
kicked out of pro, then what are
you
training for?”

All he did was glare at
me. I thought I’d seen Ash annoyed before, and that was bad enough, but it had
nothing on the anger that flared to life in his eyes. “That’s none of your
fuckin’ business, Ren.”

“You seem to know all
of mine,” I spat back. I wouldn’t let him bully me into silence. I’d die before
I let him get away with anything.

Ash clenched his jaw,
nostrils flaring. We stared each other down for what seemed like a millennia
before I ripped my gloves off.

“I’m done,” I
snapped.

Not waiting for his
response, I picked up my things and stalked into the showers. Locking myself in
a stall, I stripped and turned the water on as hot as it would go. A minute
later, I heard the stall door bang closed beside mine. Water started spraying
and I turned my back, not that it made any difference.

We showered in
silence, but it's not like we'd speak while naked and separated by a bit of
chipboard. I thought of all the things I
should
ask him and didn’t
think any single one of them was appropriate. Why did you get kicked out of
pro? Why do you come here? Where do you go at night before you come here? What
do you want from me?

“Ren?” Ash called
out.

Automatically, I
covered my breasts with my hands, even though he couldn't see. No matter what I
did, I always felt naked around him. “Yeah?”

“Do you mind if I
crash here tonight?”

I didn’t know what I
was expecting but it wasn’t that. Blinking hard, I suppressed a shiver. There
wasn't a couch or a spare mattress in the entire studio. The only place was my
spectacular converted storage closet. The thought of sleeping in the same bed
next to Ash...next to his perfect male body...made all the parts that mattered
come alive.
Fuck
.

“Ren?”

“Why?” I squeaked.

There was a pause
before his answer came over the shower wall. “I'm beat.”

He sounded so tired and
defeated, all my resistance fled the building. “Okay.”

The water cut out
over the partition and I followed suit, drying myself off. Pulling on a tired
looking tank top, undies and shorts, I cracked the door open, clutching the
towel over my breasts. Ash was sitting on the bench, his back to me. The air
smelt like whatever soap he used and it was the same spice I got a whiff of the
night before.

Shit, what had I
signed up for?

His shoulders sagged
as his hands worried a towel and I wondered what had him so worked up. He’d
been so angry when I’d asked him about his training, but all that had seemed to
have washed away in the shower. It wasn’t like he was going to tell me, we
hadn’t been very personal until now and last night definitely didn’t count.

“I’m finished,” I
murmured, stiffening when he looked up at me.

He nodded once and
followed me from the showers and up the stairs.

Maybe I should’ve
been embarrassed that Ash was about to see the life my Dad had resigned me to,
his long lost daughter shoved in the storage closet, but I didn't care. All I
could think about was the fact that he was going to be sleeping beside me. His
body was so bulky, I wasn’t sure there would be an inch of space between us.

I flicked on the lamp
and all my shame was illuminated in a soft, golden glow.

When he stepped into
the room behind me, Ash didn’t say anything when he saw my pathetic set up, he
just unceremoniously dumped his stuff in a corner, waiting for me to get into
bed before him. Waiting for me to set the boundary.

Hanging my towel over
the edge of the shelving, I slipped into bed, taking the far side of the
mattress. My back was to him, embarrassed that he’d seen what my life had
amounted to. A duffle bag full of clothes and a mattress. If he didn’t want me
last night, then he sure as fuck didn’t want me now.

The mattress dipped
as Ash climbed in beside me without so much as a word. He clicked off the lamp,
plunging us into darkness. I buried underneath the covers, all my nerve endings
hypersensitive to his nearness. I was in so much fucking trouble.

Ash shifted and when
I felt his big paw of a hand close over my waist and tug me back into his
chest, I almost had a breakdown. Did he understand what this was doing to me?
My entire body was in agony and that kind of terrified me. Having that kind of
reaction to a man had never happened to me before. The kind of reaction where I
wanted to fuck and fuck and fuck until I forgot my own name.

Ash buried his nose
into my hair and breathed deeply, flexing into my ass. His cock was hard and he
was pressing into me from behind and I wasn’t sure what I was meant to do. He’d
never tried to kiss or touch me and now he was rubbing his dick into my ass?
His hard, and from what I could feel, huge dick... My pussy began to tingle and
clench and I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from moaning.

My body couldn’t take
it so I rolled my hips backward, rubbing my ass against him and a hand came
down on my hip, fingers biting into skin. He held me still for a moment, his
lips brushing against the back of my neck. Fuck, I was about to explode. He
pressed against me once more, letting out a heavy breath, before letting me go
and rolling onto his back.

I considered kicking
him out, but the masochist in me wanted him to stay close, even though he
kept rejecting me like a nasty piece of ass.

I could say I didn't
care all I wanted, but the only fool in this scenario was me. I didn’t want to
be alone anymore. Sure, I was afraid of being abandoned again, but I still
wanted someone.

Not just anyone.

I wanted Ash.