Beats of Life (Perception Book 5) (17 page)

“Promise me that you will never leave again without saying goodbye. No matter what happens, no matter how bad it seems, I need you to promise me that you will never leave again without saying goodbye,” he requests, staring firmly into my eyes.

“I barely survived it the first time, I don’t think I could survive it a second time,” he continues, his voice barely a whisper.

My eyes burn from the sudden rush of moisture forming in them when I see the hurt all over his beautiful face. Hurt that I had placed there. Hurt that is going to take me years to repair. Hurt that I promise will never be marked on his face again.

“I promise,” I reply, staring directly into his eyes.

Slater

Instant relief. That is what I felt when Kylie promised that she wouldn’t leave again without saying goodbye, because I know she never makes a promise she can’t keep. I wasn’t joking when I said I barely survived it the first time. When she left, she took my heart with her and you can’t function without your heart. I’m not saying that’s my excuse for the poor choices I’ve made the past few years, but have you ever tried to live without your heart? Trust me, it’s pretty fucking hard to live morally without having a heart. I officially became heartless without her.

I also didn’t want to bring up the past as I’ve done some pretty bad shit the past two years that I am not proud of. And although I know Kylie would never hold it against me, I don’t want her to look at me any differently than how she is looking at me right now. Her eyes aren’t beaming with just lust, but also love. Nothing she could say would change how I feel about her, so why bring all that anger back to the surface?

Even without her telling me, I’m fairly certain I know the reason she left……..

I warned Jenni, over and over again to stay away from Nick. The instant he took my baseball bat out of the saddlebag of my bike and started smashing Jenni’s car with it, I knew what I had suspected the past few months were true. Jenni and Nick were a couple. Noah motioned his head, requesting my assistance with Nick. I shook my head and turned my gaze back to Kylie. Her eyes narrowed and her head also nodded towards Nick. When I shook my head again, her eyes narrowed even more.

“She needs to see him for who he really is,” I replied, hoping that Nick’s destructive outburst would be the final push Jenni needed to stay away from him.

“What about Nick?” Kylie replied. “Isn’t he your friend? Shouldn’t you want to help him too?” she continued, her confused eyes flicking between mine. I angrily shook my head. Nick wasn’t my friend. Back then, I couldn’t stand the fucking guy. But I had never told Kylie what had happened between us, so she was unaware of the fact that I had caught him sleeping with my fiancé in my own fucking bed.

“You’re better than that,” Kylie said quietly, standing from the picnic table and moving over towards Nick and Noah who were lying on the ground.

I was surprised when Nick stood up and the moonlight made the tears on his cheeks glisten. I had never seen Nick cry, not even when I knocked him out cold after the whole Nikki incident. I was having doubts about Nikki for a few months, but I had promised her my hand in marriage and I had planned on keeping my promise. My parents were together from such a young age and I wanted to have the same type of relationship they had. I tried to convince myself that every relationship, even the best ones, have rough patches and bumps. But the instant I walked in on her with Nick, I knew that was one bump that was never going to be smoothed out.

Cutting Nikki out of my life was easy, Nick was a lot fucking harder. Noah was adamant that we needed him in our group. He believed he was the final piece of the puzzle that made our group whole. I fought tooth and nail to have him kicked out of the band. I even quit at one stage. Noah said, he would do anything to make me stay, anything at all. That night an agreement was made. Ten percent of all of ‘Rise Up’s’ profits for the rest of our lives was going to be donated to the Serena Scott Foundation and I was allowed to punch Nick once. Marcus instantly agreed to the charity donation, but refused my second request. After a few beers and a slight bit of convincing, he finally agreed to my request, on one condition, I wasn’t allowed to knock Nick out.

Marcus was pissed when Nick laid unconscious on his grandma’s garage floor for twenty minutes after I hit him. It wasn’t my fucking fault though, I thought Nick would have been able to take a little more than he did. His skills in the fighting department were certainly lacking at that time. But with how hard he was swinging that bat, I would say he has rectified that the past few years.

“Noah is going to take Nick to a hotel,” Kylie informed, moving back to sit next to me. She leaned in closer and rested her head on my shoulder before softly suggesting, “Maybe you should go with them?”

A small gasp escaped her lips the instant I shook my head. I pulled her close to me and sat her in my lap. Her pretty hazel eyes darted between mine. I was about to head on the road for three weeks and I didn’t want to spend my final weekend with her worrying about Nick. Another gasp escaped her lips when she felt my stiffened cock rubbing against her curvy backside. Her eyes quickly darted over to Marcus and Nicole who were sitting across from us. Once she was satisfied that they were not paying us any attention, her lust filled gaze returned to mine.

“Pool in ten minutes,” she whispered, before she quickly stood and made her way to the infinity pool at the front of the property.

I waited approximately five seconds before I took off after her. I had to muffle her excited squeals with my hand when I caught up with her. The instant she reached the edge of the pool she pulled her cotton dress over her head. The full moon made her pale beige skin illuminate in the dark. Her eyes quickly peered around the space behind me before she unclasped her bra and slide her panties down her legs. Fuck, she was gorgeous, her body was pure perfection and my dick ached for her. She cheekily winked before she dove into the pool without even a small sound of a splash. By the time her head surfaced out of the water, I had removed my boots and shirt and was in the process of removing my jeans. My entrance into the pool wasn’t quite as elegant as Kylie’s. I ran up to the edge and bomb dived into the water. Her loud giggles, that were echoing around the pool area, only lessened when I swam towards her. She wrapped her legs around my waist and lowered her mouth down to mine. I was glad the pool was heated, but even if it wasn’t, nothing would have dampened the hotness in the pool that night. I have never seen a more beautiful sight than Kylie’s face in ecstasy in front of a moonlit ocean.

“I love you,” she whispered breathlessly, her lips moving towards mine. Her soft pants of ecstasy made her breast move up and down against my chest. I held her in close and returned her kiss before the sounds of murmured voices moved closer to us.

We both hastily jumped out and dried ourselves with the towels supplied, hiding in the shadows of the pool room. I don’t know how many times I had to muffle Kylie’s giggles with my mouth. Even whipping her with the towel didn’t stop her happy chuckles. We slipped out the back entrance of the pool just as Marcus and Nicole entered the front gate. I don’t think they saw us, but I am pretty sure they would have heard our heavy footsteps on the wooden deck as we bolted back towards the cabin.

Kylie’s excited giggles lessened the instant we walked into the cabin. Jenni was sitting on the sofa, her face covered with large streaks of tears. The instant her tear filled eyes looked up at me, I knew I couldn’t leave her sitting there alone and upset.

“I’ll be a minute,” I advised Kylie. Her eyes flicked between Jenni and I, before she softly nodded her head.

It took nearly thirty minutes for Jenni’s tears to eventually lessen. When she told me she was pregnant, I wanted to fucking kill Nick. He had successfully tied himself to her for life and there was nothing I could have done to change that. Jenni was beyond devastated when she explained everything that has been happening the past few weeks with her family. I didn’t know what I could have said to make anything better, so I just comforted her the best I could. I told her that she would always have Emily and I there to support her and the baby. That she isn’t alone and that we love her and will take care of her.

Once I had settled her into her room for the night, nearly two hours had ticked by. I headed to the room I was sharing with Kylie and was surprised to find her still awake. Her beautiful face was marked with small tears and her bag had been packed and was sitting on the floor.

My eyebrows pulled together tight and my heart plunged into my stomach as I moved towards her. Her tear filled eyes lifted the instant I walked into the room. “I’m going to call a taxi,” she advised, her unshed tears falling from her eyes. “I want to go home,” she continued, standing from the bed and picking her bag up off the floor.

“Why?” I questioned concerned. Everything the whole weekend had been perfect and I was at a complete fucking loss at what had suddenly changed.

Her eyes instantly darted to mine; the pain she was feeling clearly shown on her face. “Do you love me Slater?” she questioned quietly. I instantly nodded my head and moved to stand in front of her. “Say it,” she requested, her tear filled eyes staring firmly into mine. “Tell me you love me,” she requested again, only louder that time.

“You don’t need to hear---”

“Yes I do,” she interrupted angrily, her tears once again streaming down her face. “Say it,” she requested firmly, her angry eyes darting between mine.

I was too shocked to form any words. She had never been worried about me saying it back for months, so I didn’t understand why now she suddenly wanted me to tell her that I loved her. I showed her what she meant to me, I expressed it every fucking day, I didn’t need to tell her. When I failed to reply, she shook her head angrily before she whispered, “Goodbye Slater,” so quietly I could barely hear her. When she rushed towards the door, I moved quicker, slamming it before she had a chance to exit. I lent my back against the door, effectively blocking her only exit from the room. She harshly grabbed my arm, her nails dug in deep as she tried to drag me away from the door.

“What the fuck, Kylie,” I yelled angrily, prying her fingernails off my arm. She had grabbed me so hard she had drawn blood.

“You won’t tell me you love me, but you will tell her!” She yelled that loud I am sure the whole house heard her.

“Who?” I questioned. She moved away from me and paced back and forth angrily. I moved towards her and stopped her angry steps. “Who?” I questioned again.

“Jenni,” she replied. My eyes darted between hers, totally fucking confused. I didn’t tell Jenni I loved her. Did I? Oh fuck, yes I did.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” I replied, my now panicked eyes darting between hers. “I was trying to comfort her, I don’t see her like that, I swear to you I didn’t mean it like that,” I continued. My hands gently grabbed her arms, trying to force her to look me in eyes so she could see that I was telling her the truth.

“I have said it to you every single day for months, and not once have you said it back,” she said, her tear filled eyes lifting from the ground to look at me. “But I just heard you say it to her,” she continues in a hushed whisper, her face showing her heart break.

Fuck, why did I have to be so goddamn stubborn? I had loved Kylie for months but the last girl I said those words to broke my fucking heart that I swore to myself that I would never say it to anyone ever again. They were just useless words that didn’t mean anything. I thought if I just showed Kylie what she meant to me, she wouldn’t need to hear it. I only said it to Jenni as I think of her as a sister, I was trying to comfort her, I didn’t mean it the way Kylie thinks I did.

“I lo--” I attempted to say, before Kylie’s hand was roughly shoved into my face.

“I don’t want to hear it now,” she informed angrily.

I grabbed the hand she shoved in my face and placed it onto my chest. My heart was racing so fast with panic thinking I was going to lose her. Her eyes lifted from the ground and they slowly flicked between mine.

“This belongs to you,” I informed. “Everywhere you go, it goes with you. It belongs only to you,” I continued, my eyes pleading with her to believe me. She stared into my eyes for what felt like hours, but she didn’t say a word.

I yanked my wallet out of my jeans and pulled out the photo I carry of Serena. Kylie’s eyebrows pulled together tightly and her eyes rapidly filled with tears when I held the photo out in front of her. I had never told her about Serena as she had passed away nearly thirteen years before I had met Kylie and the conversation never came up. Kylie and I talked, but it was never about anything serious.

“She is a like a sister to me, nothing more,” I informed. 

For the next hour, I explained everything to Kylie about Serena and how I couldn’t help but treat Jenni as if she was my sister. Kylie apologized for overreacting and begged for forgiveness. No matter how many times I told her she didn’t have anything to be sorry for, she continued apologizing over and over again until her exhaustion eventually overtook her and she fell asleep in my arms.

I thought we had worked everything out, until she vanished the very next day.