Beautiful Elixir (Beautiful Oblivion #3) (12 page)

His features soften, his mouth falls open, no words.

“Kennedy”—he whispers, brushing my cheek softly, leaving a fiery trail in his wake—“no matter what, I will always be there for you. I came back, and I will never desert you. I will never leave you. I will never choose another living soul over your precious being.”

That’s all I needed to hear.

I’m his.

I’ve been just that since the beginning.

T
he moon casts
its spotlight over us from that stretch between the circus tents and the Nicholson’s old cabin. I pull him just shy of the porch and kiss him hard once again like an abuse, a domestic assault. For a second I think of having him right here. Letting him push me up against the smooth trunk of this silver dollar tree hauled in by landscapers because the evergreen that once stood here wasn’t good enough for the Nicholsons. They always did think they were better than everyone else. They always believed people were watching them—taking note on how to do it right. Speaking of which.

I pull back, panting into him like we just finished a sparring session.

Caleb is slightly bent at the knee, bringing him down to my height. For Keith I would have to stand on my tiptoes, and here Caleb makes concessions for me. I pull him upstairs, and he hastily lets us in, slamming the door shut like a clap of thunder.

I push his jacket off, tear at his shirt while he gropes for the zipper. It’s an odd dance, the disrobing of two first time lovers. It’s jagged, and passionate, mostly it’s a full workout, struggling with the unexpected layers—the missile launching of shoes. Caleb’s pants stray around his hips while I reach into his boxers and pull him out, hard and ready, so thick and heavy in my hand, I take in a quick breath.

“Wow,” I say under my breath without meaning to. Just letting him know how impressed I am feels as though I’ve given away all of my power. Who am I kidding? Caleb McCarthy stripped me of my power a very long time ago. They say never rely on someone else for your happiness, but I did exactly that, and, right about now, I’m not too sorry.

He pulls my dress over my head and lazily, achingly slow reaches back to unhook my bra—his eyes pinned to mine as if he were motivated by a dare. The moon kisses his features as the curve of a smile takes over his face. He frees the girls and tosses their lace pen to the side as his mouth finds a home over the softest part of me. I pull him in close by the back of the neck, smothering him, feeling him smother me, and let out a ragged groan.

“Caleb.” A burst of relief comes when I say his name. For years it’s been brewing inside me, bubbling up to the surface without my permission. So many times when I was with Keith it wanted to jump out of me. I’ve held it down, drowned it, tried to forget it as the game just became too hard, but tonight I get to shout it to the stars. Tonight his name will roll freely from my tongue, and it feels like a hard won victory.

An urgency builds in me, so hostile, that I can’t wait another minute to have him inside my body. I jump up on his hips and guide him to the wetness that’s been waiting for him for so very long.

“I’m on the pill,” I whisper hard in his ear—not a lie—as I plunge down over him, his body stretching me, claiming me, as I’ve waited for him to do for the last few years. “
Yes
,” I hiss, pressing my head to his chest and just soaking in the feel of Caleb deep inside me. It feels like a pleasure, a treasure, a goal I have worked my whole life to achieve.

Caleb slams me against the door and thrusts his lust into me, over me, against me like a riot, like a heartfelt flood of emotion that has finally crested the dam of our own making.

All of the time—the distance, that once separated us had dissolved, and, on this magical October night, we are finally inseparable, we are finally one.

My body drums against the door like a violent, angry knock in the night as Caleb most certainly shows me how a real man fucks.

There’s one thing crossed off that list.

T
he night steals many things
, color, shapes, the dexterity of thoughts you might have otherwise had under the sun—some say it has the power to steal your soul. Long before I made the decision to leave South Lux, I had entered into one very dark night. I left a mess behind as I trailed toward Loveless, toward Kennedy one final time. I left my mother to her own unstable devices, my father to his special brand of self-hatred, my brother, Abel, to his self-righteousness, and Solomon to rot in a cell. In effect, my life had become one long, horrible night, and I had lost my soul somewhere between there and here. But the real reason I came, the real reason I put down roots, signed up for a position in my uncle’s law firm was for this girl, right here. And, at the end of the day, I would very much admit that, yes, Kennedy Slade was worth losing my dirty, stained soul over.

My lips glide over her cheek, until I bury them in the hollow of her ear.

“This is where you belong, wrapped around my body.”

A tiny moan emits from her throat as I continue to pound my existence deep inside her. Kennedy is tight, virginal tight, and my mind wanders on the outskirts trying to qualify this. Her head knocks into the door creating a horrible hammering rhythm, so I spin her, backing her against the table by the entry. I lay her down and pull her thighs to my ears, burying my tongue where my dick was just a moment ago. I lap her up and down, fighting not to come from the effort. I’ve dreamed this fantasy scenario so often that my mind is questioning reality. She leans up and curls her fingers in my hair, giving a series of hard tugs. My mouth riots over her like I was putting out a fire with my tongue, and I am, or starting one, both maybe. She slides her body down and lands heroically over me once again, impaling herself over my cock with a marked precision, and we both give the beginnings of a laugh. I move her to the sofa, our hips still conjoined as I thrash my body recklessly into hers as if she could take it, as if she should.

“Caleb.” She grunts my name out, in broken spastic pieces. “Yes, that.” Her chest pumps hard over mine. “Fuck!”

I’ve never heard a girl belt out that word in bed before, but technically we’re not in bed, and Kennedy Slade is no mere girl, she’s all woman. I’ve known that from the beginning.

“I want you there first.” I pull out and fall to my knees, my tongue trekking back to that sweet wet zone, knifing her to the brink of her own climax until she’s pulling my hair and gasping beneath me. It takes less than I imagine to bring her to the height I’ve wanted to take her to since that first day in the marsh.

Kennedy lets out a sharp cry. Her knees go into a power lock position around my skull letting me know she’s already there. But I won’t stop until I get a full eviction. Her hands flatten over my face as she gives a firm shove, and I land back over her, my body spearing inside her once again as I bury myself in my new warm home. I study her face a moment, that glazed, drugged look in her eyes, her mouth opening and closing as if she can’t find the words.

“Say you want this.” I whisper over her lips, and her eyes widen a notch. For a second I envision her decking me, pushing me away and clipping my dick off in the process. “Say it,” I thrust into her as if punctuating my sentence, and she chokes out a cry.

Her eyes connect with mine, sharper, more aware of what I’m asking her to do, to sacrifice.

“Yes,” she hisses it out like a threat. “I want this, Caleb.” She glares at me a moment for breaking her—for making her do my bidding when she is the most vulnerable to me. Her fingers coil around the hair at the back of my neck, painfully so, until she’s pulling me closer, my lips hard over her cheek. “I want this, Caleb. Is that what you want to hear? Is this how I should work for it?”

My mouth collapses over hers, my tongue diving in, forcing her to taste herself, sweet and bitter rolled into one. Her mouth struggles to twist away, but I won’t let it. Kennedy gives, and her mouth expands, welcoming me, taking in the foreign intrusion until her tongue willfully mingles with mine. Her hand glides down my back until she’s pulling me in deeper, longer, faster, harder—her nails hooking into my skin. I press in once again and then lose it. My hands grip down over her shoulders, and I give her a horrific squeeze straight to the bone. A roaring groan rips through me as I come for weeks, my dick throbs into her body like a serpent roused to life. Never before have I felt such nirvana—felt such ecstasy.

So this is what it’s all about, I want to say as if I had never slept with a woman before. In a way it’s true. Kennedy has taken an eraser and reduced all of those girls who preceded her to dust. They were gone, evicted from the tomes of my carnal desires. They never happened. This was the only time that really mattered, her taste the only one I’ll remember. Kennedy and I had crossed that threshold that we strived to reach for so long. I couldn’t have dreamed it better. There was no way to predict how explosive this just proved to be. This was the universe apologizing in a grand manner for all of the bullshit it’s put me through—us through. This was the big bang, literally.

A silent laugh huffs through me.

“What’s so funny?” Her cool hands slap over my chest.

“This. Us. The fact you’re real and under me right now where you have always belonged.”

“Not the blow-up doll you’re used, to, huh?” She reaches up and takes a bite of my bottom lip.

“Let’s see.” I give her thigh a light tap. “My blow-up doll appreciates a good spanking.”

“Oh, yeah? My vibrator appreciates a good second round right about now.”

A pained laugh pumps through me as I grow soft inside her.

“I need a few minutes, but the good news is I’m rechargeable. Think of all the money you’ll save in batteries alone?”

“Think of all the hot air you’ll conserve with me around.” She glides her thigh over mine, moist with perspiration.

Our eyes remain locked for a few solid seconds before falling into another long, drawn out kiss where minutes melt into hours, and our hearts beat fast and hard over one another as if it were the very first time our lips ever met.

She pulls back, cinching her arms around my neck, and I grab for a throw and pull it over us. I doubt we’ll make it to the bed for a while. Outside the voices rise in the night as Reese and Ace’s anniversary party rages on.

“So when were you going to tell me?” Kennedy asks, outlining my lips with her finger. The act is so sweet I want to be still and soak in the sensation.

“Tell you what?” Then it hits me. What a dumb fuck I am. She’s waiting for a proclamation of my feelings not a weather report. “Hey.” I pull her over me, her head lying lazily over my shoulder as she readjusts to look up at me. “Do you know that not one other girl has done to me what you have? I was made for you. You’re mine, my special girl. You’re all I think about—I want to spend every moment with you. I want to go through life and experience it all with you right by my side. There’s not another day I want to spend without you.” I tuck my finger under her chin and bear into her beautiful gray eyes. “I love you, Kennedy Slade. You have my whole heart. I gave it to you years ago right here on this mountain.” My heart races like the wind, my bones quake at the amount of balls it took to say that. I have never said those words to a woman before. Hell, I can’t remember the last time I said those words to family. I love you is not a line I abuse or toss around liberally. “I don’t say those words unless I mean them. And I mean them more than you’ll ever know.”

Her lips part as she takes a ragged breath. “That was, um—very flattering.” Her cheeks darken a shade.

She’s not going to say it. I try not to blush myself. Even though I wasn’t prepared to say it, I’m even less prepared not to hear it back.

Kennedy scoots up until we’re a breath away. “But what I was wondering is when were you going to tell me that you set up a polygraph for Keith?” Her lashes flutter so quick I can feel the breeze against my cheek.

“That.” I swallow back all errant thoughts and let out a deep sigh. “He came into my office and played the bleeding victim. I was sick of listening to him cry, so I told him I’d pay for the damn thing. The results should be in early this week. ” I land a kiss to her temple. “You don’t have anything to worry about. Those things are never wrong.”

A thick silence fills the space between us. Kennedy runs her fingers over my chest in a loose circle, her nails slowly carving into my flesh.

“What if it is wrong? I’m starting to think Keith is a sociopath. He can get out of anything.”

My hand slips down her thigh, and I give a dull smile at how right this feels with her. How we should have been doing this all along.

“He’s not getting out of this one.” I offer another kiss, this time to her cheek. “Keith Stearns landed himself in the electric chair, and that polygraph has lit the switch. His lies, his truths, whatever road he chooses to travel, are simply going to prove your innocence.”

My hard on rouses to life once again, as I pull her over me. Kennedy’s dark hair falls like a curtain, like silk rain over my face, and I writhe beneath it in pleasure.

“Keith is crafty. He’s a lunatic, Caleb.”

I reach down and navigate my way back inside her body.

“Let me help you forget about everybody else. There’s only one thing we need to focus on right now.” My fingers press into her hips as I slowly impale her, pushing my way to the tip of her existence. “Tonight is all about us.”

K
ennedy
and I forget about the rest of the world all weekend. She spends the night, and I make her breakfast, French toast and bacon, hot coffee in bed. We cover every inch of that cabin with our lovemaking, christening it as ours, primal in the truest sense. This is animal, unkempt, rumpled hair sex that spans three glorious days and leaves us both looking as if we belong in the Stone Age.

Sunday night, Kennedy lures me into a bath, and I have the pleasure of bathing her with my tongue. But Monday rears its ugly head and kicks me out of bed and back into my office. I have Zoey parcel out my day, putting the light stuff first then leaving the heavy-hitting, migraine-inducing crap for me to tackle later this afternoon. I’ll take as much home as I can just to spend some extra time with Kennedy. I’m going to ask her to move in with me. I don’t see why not. Now that I’ve had a taste of her, there’s no going back to the way things were.

“Can I come in?” Zoey is halfway to my desk when she asks.

“Sure. What’s up?”

She scuttles forward with a large manila envelope in hand.

“Just some mail.” She plops it on my desk before taking a seat on the edge. “Hey, I’ve been cleaning out the boathouse—that place is smaller than a thimble.” She pulls on a strand of creamy blonde hair. “Anyway, I have a bunch of records, you know, old school stuff, real vinyl that I’m looking to get rid of—mostly 70s and 80s crap. My parents had a huge collection—that’s with my brother. I picked up a few here and there at garage sales and thrift stores, you know, to feel that connection with them but”—she shrugs—“I might have overdone it. There’s just no more room. You up for any?”

“Hell, yes,” I say with a smile. I can’t stop smiling. I haven’t stopped grinning like an idiot from the moment I stepped out of that cabin this morning. Kennedy made me breakfast. She tried hard to replicate the French toast extravaganza that I prepared the day before and set off the fire alarms on two different floors. She’s so damn cute, thus the nonstop grinning. “I’d love to check out what you have. Just tell me when, and I’ll be there.”

“Great! Stop by anytime. I’ll be home after work all this week. I’ve got five milk crates worth. Make sure you have a lot of room in your trunk. You’re going to need it.”

“I don’t think I’ll be picking up all that many.” I give a playful wink. The world is new again, and I want everyone to feel this right along with me. Nothing or no one can pull me off this cloud. I’ve waited four long years, and I’ve finally graduated with a degree in Kennedy Sciences. I’ve figured her out. We’ve figured each other out. We completed each other like a puzzle—the last pieces are the best fit.

“If it’s one thing I’ve learned, counselor”—she hops off my desk and traces her finger along my jaw—“it’s never say never. Life is funny. It can turn on a dime.” She heads for the door. “I thought I’d have my parents forever, and now all I have is a pile of old records. They don’t fill that hole like I thought they would. I really hope you take them all.” Zoey leaves the room, clicking the door shut behind her. I wish I could say her depressing soliloquy didn’t affect me, but my heart breaks to hear her talk that way. Maybe I will take those crates, filled with scratched vinyl, off her hands. Kennedy and I can put them on as background like some love-struck soundtrack. A wry smile comes and goes as I flip over the manila envelope Zoey landed before me.

Harwood Polygraphs.

I’m impressed and slightly thrown off course. Warren Senior mentioned the firm he used was old school from the snail mail generation, and, after what’s happened to Kennedy, I’m starting to think there’s something to that whole eschewing technology thing.

I rip right through it and slip the small stack of papers into my hand, examining them with a bored anticipation.

Computerized polygraph report by John Harwood.

Confidential Polygraph Examination Report for Keith R. Stearns

The above named subject has undergone a polygraph analysis. Equipment utilized in this exam included blood pressure monitoring, skin response, heart rate, and respiratory rhythms.

I skip to the next page.
Reason for examination.
Next page:
Keith Stearns voluntary statements.
I peruse over it. Poor kid is shouting his innocence from the top of the mountain, literally. Next page:
Results

Do you now or have you ever thought negatively of Kennedy Slade? (Answer; No)
RESPONSE INCONCLUSIVE

Since the time of your relationship collapse have you taken vengeful measures against Kennedy Slade to make it appear that she is willfully harming your character? (Answer; No)
TRUTHFUL RESPONSE