Beautiful Innocence (6 page)

“There, all done.”

My eyes drift back to the mostly empty cart. I grab hold of her shoulders and turn her back to the ladies section. “Please do me a favor and go get what you need. I really want to do this for you.”

She tilts her head to the side. “Why?” Ava looks up so innocently and I just want to see that smile from the first time I met her.

I back off some. “I have no idea how to answer your question. But I know I want to buy whatever it is you want or need. I don’t know…I just do.” I shrug, because that’s the best I can do to answer her.

Her face lights up like a Christmas tree, and there it is. The smile that stopped my heart the first time I saw her. The one that keeps pulling me back in. “I’ll pay you back, I promise.” Quickly, she pecks a kiss on my cheek.

“Whatever you want, remember?”

“Well, I did see this skirt I loved, but…”

I lean down and press my lips to her forehead, needing to be close to her again, even if for an instant. “Go get it. I’ll be up front waiting.”

My feet are bouncing up and down as I stare at the doors to the outside. My heart has been in my throat ever since I saw her holding up those little lace panties. I shouldn’t be here and my brain keeps registering that, but this painful twinge in my chest seems to want to stick around whenever I’m near her. My mind wanders as she comes into view when I look back toward the sale racks. She’s still eyeing price tags, but now she has a small hopeful smile on her face as she’s doing it, and I feel like a prick because I can’t get the image of her wearing those damn panties, straddling me out of my head. She looks up suddenly, and catches me staring at her, so I toss her a weak smile.

Twenty-one damn years old. I blow out a breath, thinking about our age difference of seven years. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad. She’s probably looking for some fun, nothing too serious—like I am. I shift uncomfortably, knowing that I’m letting my guard down with her much too soon. I usually like my women chasing me not the other way around, but there’s just something about her that tosses me over the damn edge of sanity. I just hope once I get her out my system I can push her aside like every other girl, because every second I spend with her makes me want a little bit more of her and I’m not used to that.

Mary Foley walks in and stands right dead in front of me. Mary and I go way back to the time we played house back in fourth grade and she pretended to be my wife the entire school year and the one night in tenth grade that I wish I could forget.

“Hey, Josh, fancy seeing you here.”

“Mary.” I glance up quickly but look behind her to see Ava approaching. “It was good to see you,” I say, quickly standing, and start to go around her, but she grabs my wrist.

“Well, what are you doing later? I was thinking of grabbing a beer.”

“Hey, I’m done.” Ava is standing with a cart not as full as I’d like, but it’s better than it was before. At this point I don’t care, I just want to get Ava away from Mary. When I look up, Ava’s smiling, and when she does those fucking angel eyes of hers sparkle brighter than any star in the Carolina sky.

Mary looks between us like she’s trying to put the pieces together, and she then tilts her head, eyeing Ava up and down. “I didn’t hear you were dating anyone.” It’s not a question, it’s more of a statement.

Ava’s eyes grow two sizes, making those baby blues so pronounced I get lost in them for a second. “Oh, Joshua and I aren’t dating. We’re just friends.”

Mary presses her lips together at Ava’s very sweet, innocent as hell voice. “Good to know,” she whispers as she runs her hand up my arm and around my back. And I can see the shock on Ava’s face at the intimacy Mary is displaying. Only I’m used to it. A couple of the girls I’ve spent time with have no problem touching my body like they’re claiming me. Normally I don’t give two shits, but right now I feel like pure slime. What the hell am I doing here?

Ava is way too innocent for me. The sweetness is written all over her face, the softness of her voice, her naivety, to the way she walks without any confidence. “You ready then?” I ask abruptly, pulling her from her stare-down at Mary’s back as she’s walking away.

“Yeah,” she mumbles, but then smiles brightly up to me, crushing my heart once more.

I grab the bag of stuff once I pay for it all and guide her outside to her aunt’s truck. She opens the door and I toss the bag inside. Ava moves over, leaning back on the truck, tucking her hands behind her back. “How can I thank you?”

“It was nothing.” I peer all around, looking at the truck. Damn thing is so old. I kick the tire and notice the tread is worn down. “I’ll talk to Angie about these tires if you’re gonna be driving it. They need to be replaced.”

She bites down and chews on the corner of her lip for a second, but notices me staring, so she stops. “I guess I should go.”

She presses off the truck and leans in closer. I want to move back, but my feet don’t let me. “Thanks, Joshua. I’ll pay you back every cent.” Her hand slips up and rests over my heart, and I know she feels it pounding for her at the simplicity of her touch. I moisten my lips, suddenly dry from watching those baby blues coming at me.

Her nose grazes my cheek and then I feel the softest lips touch that same spot. But instead of turning into her and pushing her up against the truck like I think she might want me to, I gently pull her hand down.

“I’ll see you around.” I see the hurt on her face as I back up from her, but she doesn’t say anything, and neither do I. This girl is going to ruin me if I let her, and there are just too many questions that need to be answered, before I allow myself to let it happen.

AVA

Holy cow! I have no idea what I was thinking by kissing him goodbye. He looked too good not to, but something about his eyes drew me in. And then on top of it he spent almost three hundred dollars on clothes for me. It’s going to take forever to pay him back with the little money I make. What I do make, I try to save for emergencies. It’s obvious he’s a bit of a ladies man from seeing that ugly woman fawning all over him and then the girl from the bar two weeks ago. I mean he took one look at her and said, “I’m leaving, are you coming?” And she did. Maybe I can pay him back by offering him sex. Wait, would that make me a prostitute if I did that? No, I can’t do that. I’ll ask for extra hours or something, maybe get a second job. I make a mental note to never kiss Josh Woods again. But even I’m aware that it’s stupid to make promises that I won’t follow through on.

It’s been three painfully long days and I find myself looking at the bar door every time it opens, hoping it’ll be him swooping in to see me. But, I remind myself it’s only Wednesday and he is a Thursday regular with his brothers. I have to be patient. Just one more night.

Sam has been good to his word and keeps a constant eye on me at work. Somehow he got Angie to schedule us for the same shifts. I see the way she looks at us and grins, and I also see the wishful thinking too, but right now I have my sights on someone else, someone Angie claims to like a whole lot, but warns me away from every chance she gets. I have a good angel on my right telling me he’s too much man for such a dreadful virgin like me, but the bad one on the left keeps whispering in my ear to let him have me. I see the way he looks at me, but then the heat fizzles out and then it turns to cold just like that. And I don’t know why, but I want to figure it out. Maybe I’m not reading him right at all.

“Ava, sugar?” Aunt Angie yells out from the office. “Can I see you for a minute?”

Sam watches me walk away from the stool I have been sitting on while we chat and I can feel his eyes on me the whole time. I peek my head into the office. “What’s up?”

“Honey, I need to get you on the payroll. I’m guessing you didn’t have time to grab any credentials?” she asks with hope in her eyes, and I feel horrible lying to her.

I shake my head slowly. “No.”

“Not even a driver’s license?”

“Yes, I have one,” I practically shout at being able to offer something, but then realize my lies keep rolling my tongue like it’s second nature. “Do you need that to put me on the payroll?”

“No. Just your social security, birthdate, and things like that.

Quickly I rack my brain to add up the date. My birthday is two months away, so I have to go back two years and three months at least. Ah, hell, she’s going to figure it out when she runs everything. “I don’t mind getting paid under the table. I can save more.”

She sighs and shuts her computer. “Ava, honey, I can’t for too much longer. If I get caught I can get in trouble.”

“Maybe just one more month to save a little more?” I squeak out, saying a little prayer to buy me time to explain and hope to god she lets me keep the job even if I’m underage.

“Okay, one month,” she agrees. “Now get back out there.” She turns and rummages through her drawer, but swivels around quickly. “Oh, dinner at my house tomorrow night, okay? I’m making a pot roast. It’s Hanks favorite.”

“Tomorrow night? But I thought you had me down to work?” I’m trying so hard to not let her see my desperation. If I’m not here I won’t see him for a whole other week. Three days has been bad enough. I don’t know where he lives, and I almost asked around because I wanted to casually bump into him again, hoping we’d finish the kiss this time.

At the end of my shift Sam insists on walking me up to the small apartment, and I expect him to walk back down, but he pushes the door wide and struts in.

“Did you want a drink or something?”

He doesn’t look back to me, instead he takes a seat on the small chair.

“I only have water and milk.”

“Water,” he answers, and I hear his faint sigh right after as he grumbles something.

I grab a bottle from the tiny refrigerator and one for myself and hand one off. His fingers wrap around my hand and he silently stares up at me. And I know this isn’t good or going to end well. His tongue snakes out and he moistens his lips, still quiet as a mouse. He yanks the bottle from my hand and pulls me onto his lap. I squirm, feeling slightly uncomfortable, but relatively safe with him. “Sam.”

His hand weaves through my hair, pulling my hair tie out slowly allowing my hair to fall over my shoulders. “I love your hair down.”

I swallow nervously at his remark and his hand still combing through my hair. “Ava, look at me.”

Cautiously I face him.

“I want to kiss you so bad, but I won’t if you say no.”

Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! What the hell is going on here? I have this beautiful, handsome man wanting me and I have to turn him down. I’ve only been kissed once before in my entire sheltered life and it was pretty nice and I would love to feel that way again, but I can’t lead him on. I can’t do this to him, to the only friend I have.

He’s waiting, staring into my eyes with question. I drop my head. “I can’t, Sam. I’m not ready.”

I hear the heavy moan, but keep my eyes down. “You ever gonna be ready?”

“I like you, I do.”

“But…”

I rest my head on his shoulders and his arms come around, fitting me to him.

“Can we please just be friends? If I do get ready, you’ll be the first one who knows.”

He props his chin on my shoulder and I hear him breathe me in. “All right, girl.” He moves his arms and shifts me off of him to stand. “I thought I’d try one more time.” When he looks around he doesn’t hide the dissatisfaction at my dwellings well, as he mumbles curses under his breath. “You good up here?”

I nod. “Yeah, I’m good.” He starts to make his way to the door. “And, Sam?”

He stops but doesn’t turn. “You’d be a heck of a catch for a girl like me.”

I see him bang his head softly at my admission on the door right before he walks out, leaving me alone.

Once he’s gone, I fiddle with some of my new things, wondering what Joshua is up to on a night like tonight and wishing I could give in to Sam, but something keeps holding me back. I’m sure he’d be real gentle and understanding by the way he regards me all the time, but then there’s Josh who is the one I want. Maybe it’s the excitement of knowing every girl that walks through those bar doors wants him. Maybe it’s the way he looks at me like I’m this giant puzzle, but he can’t find the last piece to make heads or tails of me of me. Or maybe it’s the fact that he was sweet enough to buy me clothes because he knew I needed them. It really didn’t matter why. It’s more of a matter of how and when at this point.

~~~

Since I have the day off, I made a few flyers to post around town that I was looking for a part-time day job. I need to keep my nights free. When I head out to post some, I spot that crazy sexy brother of his leaning up against a storefront watching me. Once he realizes that I see him, he pushes off and comes to me. “Ava, right?”

“Yeah,” I barely get out. Damn he’s sexy. His wife is one lucky lady. Although Joshua is cuter, in my opinion, they’re both nice on the eyes.

“You have experience?” he asks plucking a flyer out of my hand.

“Not really, but I love kids,” I gush.

He has these dark mirrored glasses on so I can’t see his eyes. “I got three and my wife and I need a night out. You interested?”

“I would love to, but which night, because I work most nights. I’m really free during the day.”

“How about this, I’ll give you my number and you call me when you check your schedule. We’ll go from there.” He walks away after dropping his business card in my hand.

“Thanks, Dane, I’ll call you later today,” I shout at his retreating form. I smile and run all the way back to the truck so I can head back and check my schedule.

An hour later his phone is ringing and ringing until finally he picks up. “It’s me, Ava.”

“Ava, that was quick.”

I hear some scuffling in the background, but keep going. “So, I checked my schedule and I’m off this Sunday. I know it’s not a real fun night to go out, but I’m off all day and can sit as long as you like.”

“All day? All right. Let me give you my address and let’s say around three. How’s that?”

“Perfect.”

“Thanks, Ava, I really appreciate it.”

“Oh, hey, anything they like in particular?”