Beautiful Mess (39 page)

“Wow
Carly, that’s great, but I have some bad news for you.”  Bri wasn’t sorry
at all.  In fact, she was relieved that she’d dodged a bullet. 
Dealing with Carly on a daily basis was not something she could handle. 
“I’m not going to Stanford.  I’m going to Duke.”

“What? 
Why?  You’re supposed to be like some genius or something.  What
happened, you weren’t as smart as you thought you were?” Carly said snidely.

The
derision in Carly’s voice set Bri off.  She was done pandering to her
cousin in the name of keeping the peace.  It was time someone took Carly
down a notch, and Bri had been dying to do it.

“Not
exactly.  You remember Cole, that we met at the beach last summer?”

“Mr.
Douchebag-who-doesn’t-know-how-to-treat-a-lady?” Carly scoffed.  “Yeah,
why?”

Carly’s
defamation of Cole made Bri bristle with anger.

“And
remember how I told you I hadn’t seen him since then?”

“Yes. 
What does this have to do with anything?”  Carly’s impatience was audible.

“Well,
I lied.  Turned out Cole went to my high school.  We started dating
months ago.  He got a basketball scholarship to Duke, and I’m going to
Duke with him.”  Bri left out the fact that they’d broken up.  That
was beside the point.  “Oh, and by the way, all your fantasizing about him
didn’t even come close to the real thing.”

“You
bitch
!” Carly growled, and Bri was taken aback by the venom in her
voice.  “You lying, back stabbing,
slut
of a bitch!  How could
you do this to me?  You knew how I felt about him, and you like, totally
went after him anyway.  I can’t believe you did that!”

“First
of all,
he
came after me.  I guess shallow, judgmental,
self-absorbed snobs aren’t really his type.  And secondly, I don’t care
what you think.  The world doesn’t revolve around you, Carly, and neither
do I.  Oh, and Mr. Douchebag-who-doesn’t-know-how-to-treat-a-lady, is
anything but!  Cole is kind, and generous, and loving, and amazing. 
He’s always known how to treat me right.  The problem isn’t that he
doesn’t know how to treat a lady.  He does.  The problem is that he
knows a lady when he sees one.  And Carly, you are no lady!” 

Carly
began sputtering incoherently into the phone, but Bri had no more patience for
her.

“Have
fun in San Jose, Carly.  I for one will be extremely grateful that I’ll be
three thousand miles away.”  Bri hung up before her cousin could respond,
feeling vindicated and satisfied.

Bri
spent her last month in California spending as much time with her family,
friends, and the ocean as she could.  She spent her last Saturday with
Layla, shopping and hanging out.  When it was time for her to leave, Layla
walked her to the door.

“You
and Devon take care of each other.”  Bri hugged Layla tightly.  “And
if you ever need anything, you know where to find me.”

“We’ll
see each other at Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or whenever you decide to make it
back home,” She sniffed, and Bri pulled back to see tears running down Layla’s
face.  “Maybe we could even plan to go somewhere for spring break
together.”

“That
would be great,” Bri felt her own tears on her cheeks.  “And we’ll
definitely keep in touch,” she promised, meaning it.  She was not going to
lose Layla like she had Rosa.  “And I’m serious.  If you need
anything
,
I’m here for you.  I don’t care if it’s two o’clock in the morning, call
me.  Okay?”

“Okay. 
Same goes for you.  I’m proud of you Bri,” Layla smiled.  “You and
Cole, you’ll work things out.”

“Thanks.” 
Bri pulled her friend in for one last hug.  “Good luck, Layla.  I
love you, and I’m going to miss you terribly.”

“Love
you too, Bri.”  Layla released her.  As Bri walked out the door,
Layla smacked her on the butt.  “Go get him, Tiger!” she winked.

Bri
nodded and waved goodbye to her best friend.

She
spent the next week with her family, spoiling her brothers as much as she
could.  She hung out at home with her dad and Summer, and on Thursday
night, they went out to dinner one last time as a family.

Friday
morning, Bri and her dad left for the airport, after Bri spent twenty minutes
kissing her brothers goodbye.  She was going to miss her little monkeys,
and had a hard time leaving them.  They arrived in North Carolina that
evening and checked into a hotel.  Bri enjoyed having some time alone with
her dad, and they stayed up late talking and laughing.  The next morning
dawned, and they drove Bri to her new home.

The
dance team shared a two story row of apartment-like dorms with the
cheerleaders.  Bri was happy to find that the cheerleaders occupied the
seven rooms on the bottom floor, leaving the dance team the top floor. 
She grabbed her two suitcases and waved goodbye to her dad.  The plan was
for him to come pick her up for lunch, giving her time to get settled, and then
to do a little shopping for her room.

Bri
walked up the open stairs of her dorm, a pit of nervous, excited energy
bouncing around in her stomach.  This was it, she was here.  The
building faced a wide open, grassy common area with large full trees and flower
beds.  One of the team captains, her name badge said Amber, was at the top
of the stairs directing girls to their rooms.

“Ambria
Donnelly,” Bri gave the tall, blond girl with a friendly smile her name.

“Donnelly...
Here you are!  You’ll be in room number two, right there,” Amber pointed
to the second door on the floor.  “We pair our freshmen up with sophomore
roommates to help you learn your way around and get used to
things.    Addison, a freshman too, Stacie, and Stephanie will
be your roommates.  They can answer any questions you have.”  Amber
gave Bri a key and smiled.  “I’m Amber, and the other captains and I are
at the end of the hall if you need anything.  Welcome to the team! 
It’s going to be a great year!”

Bri
thanked Amber, and walked into her new room.  There was a living room with
two bedrooms off the back and a shared a bathroom.  The other girls had
already arrived, and they all introduced themselves.  Bri would be sharing
a room with Stacie, and she went in to unpack her things.  She placed her
clothes in the dresser next to her bed, and put up the picture that Cole had
given her for Christmas.  She hadn’t been able to bring many things, but
that was something she refused to leave behind.  After she was done, she
hung out with her roommates, getting to know them better.

Her
dad picked her up and they went to lunch.  Then they stopped at the local
Target and bought her a comforter set, towels, and a few decorations for her
room.  Her dad also bought her a small microwave, and a Keurig machine
that made her a hit in her room.  They stopped for dinner before Connor
dropped Bri off for the night. 

The
next morning, the whole team had breakfast together, and Bri got to know her
new teammates.  Tanya, the director, talked about the team’s goals for the
year and what to expect this summer at practice.  Bri was excited to get
started.

After
breakfast, her dad picked her up and they went car shopping together.  She
had had to sell her Mazda before she left California, which had been
surprisingly hard.  That car had been her baby.  But as her dad
handed her the keys to her new Jeep Grand Cherokee, Bri found a new love.

“I
don’t know what the weather is like here, but his way you’ll be ready for
anything.”  Connor smiled, as Bri hugged him.  “Oh, and I have one
more thing for you.”  He reached into his wallet and pulled out a shiny
new credit card with Bri’s name on it.  Her eyes widened.  “This is
for you, for gas, food, and a
little
bit of fun.  You’ve been so
responsible, and managed to cover your schooling and living expenses.  The
least I can do is cover the incidentals.”

“Thanks
Daddy!”  Bri took the card and hugged her dad again.  “I love you.”

 “I
love you too, Pumpkin.  Just do me a favor, and don’t go crazy with that thing!”

Connor
had to get to the airport to catch his flight home, so he followed Bri back to
her dorm to say goodbye.  Bri felt tears roll down her cheeks as she
hugged him. 

“I’m
so proud of you, Bri.  There is no doubt in my mind that you can do
anything you set your mind to.  Now, go and make your dreams
happen.”  He kissed her head and climbed into his car.  “Oh, and
don’t forget to call home every once in a while!  I love you, Ambria.”

“Love
you too, Dad.”  Bri waved goodbye, and walked back up to her room, ready
to start this new phase of her life.

Dance
practice started on Monday, and Bri’s life quickly fell into a predictable
pattern.  She had practices every morning, with weight training and cardio
twice a week.  Even though she felt busy, she still seemed to have plenty
of free time.  Too much free time.  She almost couldn’t wait until
classes started. 

She
spent her spare time exploring the beautiful Duke campus, and looking for
Cole.  It hadn’t taken much digging to find out that the basketball team
was on campus already, and where their dorms were.  They were a little
ways down from where Bri lived, and she began taking walks down that way
whenever she could, hoping to see him. 

One
day, after quite a few walk byes, fortune finally smiled on her.  She
spotted Cole leaving his dorm with another guy, who she guessed was his
roommate.  They were talking and laughing as they walked away, and didn’t
notice her standing there.  Bri’s heart began pounding as she watched Cole
from across the commons.  She stood rooted to her spot, unable to decide
if she should run and hide, or if she should chase after him, screaming his
name.  But, before she could force her brain and body into action, Cole
disappeared around a corner.  Her moment of opportunity was gone.

Seeing
him again sent all of her emotions spinning, and added that much more urgency
in her.  She needed him back.  Now.  She didn’t want to waste
another day without him.  She was tired of feeling like only half of herself. 
She needed to feel whole again. 

The
problem was she needed the right opportunity.  She didn’t want to just
show up at his door like some stalker, which admittedly, she kind of was. 
No, she needed something that would prove that she was really here, and
invested for the long run.  Unfortunately, she hadn’t been able to come up
with anything plausible yet.  So, she’d have to be patient a little
longer.  She really loathed patience right now.  But she may only get
one chance to get Cole back, and she didn’t want to waste it.

Finally,
after so much time spent waiting, the perfect opportunity to talk to Cole
presented itself.  News had spread about a party the soccer and lacrosse
teams were throwing Saturday night in the commons outside their dorms. 
Bri received confirmation from Stephanie, who was their resident social
butterfly, that the basketball team would be attending, and her mind began
racing with the possibilities.

Since
it was the first official party of the year, new outfits were definitely in
order.  So Friday, after practice, Bri, Addison, Stacie, and Stephanie all
piled into Bri’s Jeep and headed to the mall.  Bri was pretty sure her dad
wouldn’t be too upset with her for buying clothes with her credit card. 
Clothes were incidentals, after all. 

After
a Layla-esc shopping marathon, Bri bought two outfits, unable to decide which
would be best.  She wanted to look perfect for Cole, but couldn’t decide
if she should go dressy and sophisticated, or cute and casual.  Too much
was riding on this to mess it up.  Unable to come to decision, Bri
realized she needed an outside opinion, and there was only one person she
trusted with something this important.  Laying out both outfits, she
snapped a picture and sent it off with a quick text to Layla.

Help,
I need you!  Going to my first Duke party tomorrow night.  Cole will
be there, and this will be the first time he’s seen me in months.  I want
to make an impression without looking like I’m trying too hard.  I’m in
desperate need of your expert fashion advice!

A
few minutes later, Bri’s phone rang.  She breathed a sigh of relief when
she saw it was Layla.

“Hi,
Lay!  Thanks for calling me back.  I’m seriously going crazy here,
and can’t decide what to wear.  What do you think, which outfit would be
best?”

“Both
outfits are great, Bri.  But,” Bri could hear the hesitancy in Layla’s
voice.  “If you want to make an impression, then make an
impression
! 
You need to make him remember what you two had together, and what he’s been
missing.  My advice, don’t hold back.  Throw everything you’ve got at
him.  You may only get one shot, use everything to your advantage.”

Bri
pondered that for a moment, and suddenly had her answer.

“Thanks,
Layla.  I don’t know what I’d do without you!  You’re a freaking
genius!”

“Yes,
yes I am!  Now, you’d better call me on Sunday to let me know how it all
goes, or you can kiss my life saving advice goodbye!” 

“You
got it!  Love you, Lay.”

“Love
you, too.  Good luck, Tiger!”

Bri
hung up her phone and rushed to her dresser, praying she’d brought it...
There!  At the bottom of the pile was the shirt she was looking for. 
She pulled out the royal blue top she’d worn on her first date with Cole last
summer. 
This
would make an impression.  Even if he didn’t
remember she’d worn it on their first date, her dress that night in the back of
the Maserati had been the same deep blue.  There was no way Cole had
forgotten
that
.  And nights like those were exactly what she wanted
him to remember.

Saturday
night, Bri paired her halter style tank with a pair of khaki shorts that showed
off her legs to their fullest.  She left her shoulders bare, fully heeding
Layla’s advice and using everything she had to her advantage.  That
included showing off as much skin as possible to tantalize Cole.  She
wasn’t above using his hormones against him.  She loosely curled her hair,
and then twisted the sides back and pinned them, exposing her tattoo and her
neck.  She went minimal with her makeup, and put on the Tiffany’s
butterfly necklace Cole had given her.  She slipped on her jeweled Greek
sandals and met the rest of her roommates in the living room.

The
other girls chatted excitedly as they walked down to the party, but Bri was too
nervous to join in.  She’d been dreaming of this moment for so long, now
that it was finally here, her stomach was revolting against her.  So much
was riding on tonight, and she couldn’t stop thinking about everything that
could go wrong.  Her stomach was churning so much, she was afraid she was
going to throw up.  Bri spent the rest of the walk trying to calm herself
down, and get a handle on her nerves.  She needed to pull herself together
or she was going to blow her chance with Cole.

When
they arrived, the common area was pulsing with music.  One of the guys had
set up his speakers outside and was playing DJ.  Various couches, chairs,
recliners, lawn chairs, and camping chairs had been brought out of the
surrounding dorm rooms and set up around the perimeter.  It was a pretty
dark night, but someone had strung some twinkle lights and lanterns from the
trees, providing some soft illumination.  There was even a bar set up on
two folding tables over in the corner.

Feeling
anxious, Bri discreetly separated herself from her friends and went off in
search of Cole.  Disappointment bubbled up inside her, as she futilely
scanned the sea of faces around her.  She’d made almost a full circle of
the perimeter before she finally found him. 

Cole
was leaning against a tree, talking to a slinky brunette.  Bri felt her
anger and jealousy spike as the girl leaned into him flirtatiously.  Her
throat constricted, and for a second she was worried that she may be too late,
that Cole had moved on.  But a glance up at his face revealed that he was
less than interested in the oblivious girl.  Immense relief flooded
through her.

Bri
stayed where she was and waited.  After a few minutes, the girl finally
got the hint and left, and Cole was alone.  She made herself stay where
she was, waiting breathlessly with a jack hammering heart, for him to notice
her. 

Just
as she thought she was going to pass out from lack of oxygen, Cole turned his
head, and completely froze as he finally saw her.  His face drained of all
color, as shock and disbelief engulfed him.  He glanced warily into the
cup in his hand, as if what was inside was responsible for Bri’s sudden
appearance.  Bri couldn’t help but chuckle, and his eyes shot back to her,
confusion plain on his face.

She
walked slowly towards him, worried she’d frighten him off if she moved too
fast.  The closer she got, the more nervous she became.  She had had
this grand, romantic speech all planned out, but the sight of him standing
before her wiped all coherent thought from her brain.

Damn,
he looked good.  He was wearing a light blue button down with the sleeves rolled
up, and even in the low light, it brought out the blue in his eyes.  His
hair was styled in that messy, sexy way she loved, and she longed to reach out
and run her hand through it.  She took a deep breath, trying to calm her
pounding heart, and stopped in front of him.

“Hi,
Cole,” she managed to say shakily.

This
close, Bri realized her memory hadn’t done him justice.  Her eyes greedily
drank him in, eager for every last detail.

“Ambria?” 
His confused and guarded eyes took her in, head to toe, and he swallowed
thickly.  “What are you doing here?”

“I’m
here for you.”  She tried to smile reassuringly, but her stomach was such
a twisted mass of nerves, it came out lopsided.  “I have something I need
to tell you.  I was hoping that we could go somewhere and talk? 
Somewhere a little more private?”

He
looked away.  “I don’t know, Bri.”

“Please,
Cole,” she pleaded.  “Please, just give me a chance.  Let me say what
I need to say, and then I’ll leave, if that’s what you want.”

He
took a deep breath, and turned back to her.  His demeanor had hardened,
like he’d already prepared himself for the worst.

“Fine,”
he replied curtly.  “You talk, I’ll listen, and then you
leave
.”

Bri’s
face fell as she nodded.  She hadn’t expected a big, warm welcome from
Cole, but she was still hurt by his animosity.

He
turned and led her towards his two story dorm building, silent the entire
way.  That silence became more pronounced and weighted as they left the
noise of the party far behind.  Trying to calm her racing heart, and get
her emotions under control, Bri followed Cole upstairs and into his room. 
The room layout was similar to Bri’s, but seemed bigger with only two people
living there.  He flipped on the lights and sat down on the couch,
completely indifferent and unaffected.

“Okay,
so talk,” he bit out coldly.  “Why are you here, Bri?”

Bri
stopped her perusal of Cole’s room and turned to him.  He returned her
gaze warily, and she was suddenly painfully aware of how close she was to
losing everything.  She took a deep breath and gathered her courage. 

“I
live here,” she gave a small smile. 

“What?” 
Cole’s eyes widened in shock.  This news didn’t seem to please him.

“I
go to school here.  I applied earlier this year and was accepted. 
I’m even on the dance team.”

“I
don’t understand,” he shook his head, glaring at her.

“I
came here for
you
, Cole.  I’m here because I believe in us, and I
think we deserve another chance.  I’m here to fight for us.”  She
poured all her sincerity and conviction into those words, willing him to
believe her.

“So,
this is what?” his voice rose incredulously.  “Some grand master plan for
you to infiltrate my life?  And when exactly did you decide on this course
of action?”

“Right
before graduation,” she replied quietly, her eyes dropping.

“So
you actually
planned
this?” his voice shook with anger.  “And you
didn’t think to ever mention it to me?”

“And
when would I have been able to do that, Cole?”  Bri’s temper flared. 
Crap, this was going badly.  Here she was, making a mess of things,
again.  She took a breath and reigned in her temper.  She wasn’t
angry at Cole, and she hadn’t come here to yell at him.  “We haven’t
talked in months.  And even if I had told you what I was planning, what
would you have said?  You would’ve told me to forget it, that it wouldn’t
change anything.  You would’ve told me you’d moved on,” her voice broke,
“and that I should too.”  She paused and looked Cole in the eye, gathering
all her courage.  “But that’s not something I’m willing to do.  Not now,
not anymore.  No matter how difficult, or overwhelming things get for us,
I’m not going anywhere.  Never again.  I’m done running.”

Cole
dropped his gaze and shook his head. 

“Go
back to Stanford, Bri,” he said tersely.  “It’s where you belong. 
You have dreams and plans for your life.  I don’t fit into any of
them.  This isn’t what you want.”

She
sat hesitantly on the couch next to him.

“That’s
where you’re wrong,” she said softly.  Cole’s eyes shot up to hers, full
of pain, confusion, and fear.  Bri’s heart clenched, and she hated herself
for hurting him so badly.  But, she also realized that if she ever
expected Cole to forgive her, she had to forgive herself.  Looking deep
into his eyes, she promised him, and herself, that she would amend all the pain
she had caused him.   

“When
I think of the future, all I see is you.  All my plans, all my dreams,
they
all
revolve around you.  You are the center of
everything.  You are essential to my happiness, and I can’t imagine a
future without you.”  Tears threatened in her eyes, and she paused.
 “You were right about me, you know.  You were right about
everything.  I was so afraid of letting you in, so scared of being hurt,
that I convinced myself I didn’t really feel what I was actually feeling. 
I’m so sorry, Cole!  I’m sorry I pushed you away.  I’m sorry I was so
stupid, and stubborn.  And most of all, I’m
so
sorry for ever
hurting you!  I don’t expect you to forgive me right now, and just let
everything that happened go.  All I’m asking for is another chance. 
A chance to make this up to you, to make things right between us. 
Please. 
Please
, Cole, tell me there’s a chance for us,” she
pleaded with everything she had in her.