Beautiful Mess (40 page)

Cole
stood and walked away, running his hands through his hair.  When he turned
back to her, the defensive mask he’d been wearing was gone, and she could see
his anguish. 

“
Why
,
Bri?  Why would this time be any different?”

She
stood and walked over to him.  She half expected him to back away from
her, but her heart sang when he didn’t pull away.  She reached up and
gently cupped his cheeks in her hands.  His eyes closed briefly at her
touch.  When they opened, she could see everything he was feeling. 
There was so much turmoil and wariness, but also a desperate hope that stole
her breath.

“Because,
this time I know
exactly
what I want.”  Bri had to squeeze her eyes
shut to stop the tears that wanted to spill.  She couldn’t cry now, there
was still so much she needed to say.  Swallowing the lump in her throat,
she opened her eyes.  Cole’s eyes bore into hers, begging her to put him
out of his misery.  She could see now how badly she’d let him down before,
how afraid he was to trust her again.  And how terrified he was of what
she was about to say.

“I
love you, Cole,” she smiled, and a tear slipped out.  “I love you, and I’m
not afraid to say it anymore.  I’m not afraid of
it
anymore. 
I love you so fully and completely,” she half sobbed.   “I love you
more than I ever thought I could possibly love anybody.  And you are all
that I want.”

Cole’s
eyes closed, and he let out a sigh.  But he still protested.

“What
about Stanford, Bri?  It’s been your dream, your life, for so long. 
I don’t want you to wake up one day and blame me, hate me, for making you give
up that up.”

“I
haven’t given up my dream, Cole,” she persisted.  “My dreams have just
changed, that’s all.  You have given me a new dream, and a hope for the
future that I’ve never had before. 
You
are my dream now. 
Please don’t tell me I’ve already lost it.”  Another tear slipped out.

Instead
of replying, Cole dropped his eyes, and removed her hands from his face. 
Bri’s heart plummeted, and her lungs stopped working.  Despair threatened
to consume her, as she realized that she’d failed.  Cole didn’t want her
back.

He
stood there silently for a moment, before he finally spoke.

“Say
it again,” he whispered, still not looking up at her.

“What?”
she gulped, trying to keep her devastation at bay.

“Say
it,
again,
” he repeated, lifting his head.  Bri’s breath caught as
a beautiful smile spread across Cole’s face.  The love shining in his eyes
broke the dam holding back her tears.  She knew then exactly what he was
asking.

“I
love you,” she returned his smile.  “I love you, Coleston Marra. 
I’ll love you forever.”

Cole’s
arms wrapped around her, pulling her into his chest.

“I’m
so sorry,” she sobbed on his shoulder.  “For everything.  I’m a such
an idiot.  Can you ever forgive me?”

He
pulled back and stroked her cheek.  She leaned into his hand longingly.

“Of
course I forgive you,” he gave a small smile.  “I love you, Ambria. 
I’d forgive you anything.”

“Really? 
You still love me?”  Bri felt a warmth rush through her.

“Oh,
baby,” he replied tenderly, “did you really think I stopped?  I think I
fell in love with you the first day I met you.  I’m sorry it took me so
long to say it.  I was scared, and stupid, and stubborn, too.  Can
you forgive me?”

“There’s
nothing to forgive,” she gazed up at him.  “So, what happens now?”

Cole’s
eyes darkened with desire.  He gave her a look that set her heart
pounding, and anticipation shooting through her.  He leaned in slowly, but
stopped just short of her lips.

“Whatever
we want,” he whispered.  And then he kissed her.

Warmth
flooded through Bri, and the gaping hole in her heart, that had been present
ever since she’d walked away from Cole, was finally filled.  This was
where she belonged, where she would always belong, in Cole’s arms, surrounded
by his love.  There were no more doubts, no more fears, just the blinding
certainty that she was home.  And she had no intention of ever leaving
again.  She was finally whole.

She
kissed him back hungrily, giving him everything that was in her.  She
happily took everything he offered her in return, and greedily demanded
more.  She wanted all of him, every tiny piece, mind, body, and soul. 
She knew that he wouldn’t be satisfied until he had all of her, either, and she
wanted to give it to him.  She wanted him to have every last piece of
her. 

While
their kisses were heated and passionate, this was something so much deeper than
physical need and desire.  This was an aligning of their souls, a binding
together of their hearts.  A chance to erase and heal all of the hurt and
betrayal, the disappointment and regret.  With each kiss, they renewed
each other with their love.

Bri
pulled back and smiled lovingly up at Cole.  In his eyes, she saw the
promise of their future together.  She saw a love so pure and so deep, it
shook her, humbled her.  While at the same time, it built her up, making
her stronger.  Braver.  Better.

It
was the same love that shone from her own eyes.

Looking
at Cole, Bri knew things wouldn’t always be easy.  They would face
problems and difficulties that neither of them could foresee right now. 
But she knew that as long as they had each other, their love could conquer
anything. 

Bri
promised that silently to herself, and to Cole.  And then, not having had
nearly enough, she kissed him again.

The End

First
and foremost, a HUGE Thank You to my wonderful husband, Joe.  Thank you for
not laughing at me when I said I wanted to write.  Thank you for being the
first, and most excited, person to read my book.  Thank you for not hating
it, even though it’s “one of those girlie books”.  Thank you for
supporting me, and encouraging me, and believing in me from the get go. 
You are my love, my life, and my sexy hotness, and I’m so lucky to have
you.  I love you most (and yes, this proves it!)!

Next,
a big shout out to my little monkeys!  Thanks for always wanting to help
mom with typing on her laptop or getting her a Vanilla Coke.  And for
becoming a little more self-sufficient when she was trying to write.  Love
you! 

Thank
you to my mom, for always supporting me, no matter what.  To Stacie, Mike,
and Stephanie for being the best siblings and friends ever!  A special
thanks to Steph, Bri’s personal stylist (and mine).  And a big Thank You
to the rest of my family- immediate and extended, my side, Joe’s side, all
sides, and every side.  There are far too many of you to mention everyone,
but thank you all for your love and support, and for helping to shape the
person I am today.  I love you all!

Thank
you to all of my friends.  I truly believe that I have the best friends in
the whole world, and I am so blessed to know each of you!

A
BIG Thank You to my awesome Betas!  Lynsay Larson, Jenny Hamilton,
Stephanie Abbott, Betsy Holm, Emily Jones, and Aubrey Barlow.  Thank you
for your time, enthusiasm, and invaluable insight.  Oh, and thank you for
not hating it, too!  

Thank you to L.J. Anderson at
Mayhem Cover Creations for my beautiful cover!  You were awesome to work
with!

Finally,
the biggest Thank You of all goes to you, the reader.  Of all the millions
of books you could choose from, you picked mine, and I am so very
grateful.  Thank you for letting me share a little piece of myself with
you.

Jennifer
Preston lives outside of Denver, Colorado, with her husband, their three kids,
and their dog.  She is an obsessive reader, who never goes anywhere
without her trusty e-reader (best invention ever!).  When she’s not busy
being a mom, writing, or reading, she enjoys running, shopping, sleeping in,
and singing along, loudly and badly, with the radio as she drives. 

Follow
Jennifer on Facebook, on Twitter @jen_m_preston, or on Instagram at
preston_jen.