Beautiful Misery (The Beautiful Series) (21 page)

Not stopping, he walked through his room and
into the bathroom. The five of us following him in.

“Wow, you have a toilet, you lucky bastard. Really wish I had one of those. Larkin said our next house we may just splurge and get a toilet.” Jenna said, laughing.

We all laughed and Gage said, “No, I wanted to show you the phone. How fuckin’ cool is that? I have a phone in the fuckin’ shitter.”

I craned my neck to see around
Gage. There it was, right next to the toilet. A phone, really? In the bathroom?

Jenna wrinkled her nose and said, “Gage, make me a promise.”

“What’s that?”

Jenna pointed at the phone when she said, “Never, ever call me from that phone.”

Gage grabbed Jenna around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head. “Don’t worry, you will be my first call from this phone.”

Larkin joked, “As long as it doesn’t send pictures, I’m down with getting a shitter call. Just no shitter picture.”

Leigha giggled. “Well, I mean, I guess it’s practical. What if you run out of toilet paper? Now you don’t have to worry. One call and problem solved.”

“I’m glad some people can appreciate good craftsmanship. This is what won me over and sold me on the house. It had nothing to do with the marble or hardwood floors. Or even the six bedrooms, or the man cave, or the pool. It was the fuckin’ phone. Sweet as shit.” Gage dropped his arms from Jenna and wrapped them around my waist.

Jenna looked from Gage’s arms around my waist to my face then Gage’s. A slow, somewhat sad smile playing on her lips. Starting to get uncomfortable I tried pulling away. Gage tightened his grip and whispered in my ear, “No.” Sending shivers down my spine and right to my core.

“Gage? You up here?” A male voice came through the door.

“Bathroom, D.” Jenna yelled back.

Looking up from the gorgeous marble floor I saw a miniature version of Gage walking in. Well, not exactly miniature because he was damn near just as big, just younger. Wait, he looked familiar. Very familiar.

Smiling wide, the boy said, “Were you showing them your shitter phone?”

Gage nodded. “Sure was.”

Nudging Jenna, the boy said, “Ain’t that the shit? Literally.”

Jenna curled her lips. “I swear if one of you call me from that phone I will stick my foot so far up your ass you won’t shit for a year. Got it?”
She grumbled, pointing at Dylan. She was smiling by the time she was finished talking.

He was the boy that delivered the flowers! “You’re Gage’s brother?” I asked out of the blue.

Turning his sky blue eyes to me, he said, “Yep. The name’s Dylan.” He winked at me like we were sharing some ‘I murdered the mailman and you hid the body’ kinda secret.

“You work for a florist?” I asked, somewhat confused.

Everyone, except for Leigha looked at Dylan. Gage and Dylan started laughing. Jenna accused, “Dylan couldn’t tell the difference between a rose and a daisy if he tried.”

Gage said, “Actually, not too long ago he had a one day stint as a florist delivery boy. There was a special girl that deserved flowers and I wanted to make sure she got them.” He kissed my temple.

Really? What was with all this public display of affection? It was really starting to screw with my head. My brain was starting to listen to my heart. That can’t happen. I won’t let that happen. We agreed this was just for fun. Now Gage is screwing that up with all these small things he’s doing. I was letting my guard down. Sure to get hurt in the end.

Leigha furrowed her brows. “He’s the one who delivered your flowers?”

I nodded. Jenna elbowed Larkin. “I don’t even get flowers. I want flowers,” She joked.

Larkin rolled his eyes, “I gave you three kids. Isn’t that enough?” He looked at his wife. Anyone could see how in love they were. Jenna leaned into him and kissed his chest. They really did look like the poster couple for perfect.

Once Gage was satisfied with himself and his potty phone he walked back into his bedroom. There that picture was again. Staring me in the face. I glanced at Gage who was saying something to Trent and laughing. His eyes caught mine and they instantly darkened. How could he go from zero to sixty within a split second?

He smirked. “Annie, I want to show you something.” He turned to look at Jenna and asked, “Jenna can you check on the kids and make sure they haven’t duct taped my mom to the wall?”

“I’m sure if anyone has the duct tape it would be Evil Evie.” Larkin laughed. Jenna nodded in agreement.

Leigha looked me over before saying, “I’ll check on little man.”

Trent placed his arm on the small of Leigha’s back and said, “I can help you with that. I like that little dude. He’s a chick magnet.”

Jenna, Leigha, and I all looked at each other, rolling our eyes. Leave it to Trent to use a child to get attention.

Watching the others walk out of Gage’s room he shut the door behind them. I turned to look out his window at the backyard and the in ground pool when I heard the lock click. “I have been waiting to get you all to myself since I walked into your house.”

“Why do you have the picture?” I tossed my hand in the air in the direction of giant picture on his wall.

“You don’t like it?” Gage asked. His voice laced with a hint of hurt.

“No. I mean, I do like it. Just confused as to why you have it so big and in your room.”

“I love how at peace and happy the three of you look. Don’t get mad, but in my man cave I may or may not have a few more pictures hanging up.”

I think my jaw was sitting on the floor. My eyes the size of saucers. He had more pictures…of me? He was really starting to blur the lines and play with my heart. “Why do you have pictures of me?”

Gage ran his hand along my back. “You’re gorgeous. Why wouldn’t I want pictures of you in my house?”

Oh he was good.

“When did you take the pictures?” I asked, still somewhat in shock.

“Different times. Most of them are on the beach. I have one though, my favorite. It’s from the hotel in New Orleans. When you woke up and were freaking out that Gabe would shit a brick if you weren’t with him. You jumped out of bed looking for your clothes. You stopped for just a second and looked out the window at the sun rise. The sun was casting a shadow over you, making it look like a silhouette. It’s simple and fuckin’ hot as hell.”

“Gage.” I tried to say with conviction but my voice was breathy. “You’re starting to mess with my head. We both said we weren’t ready for something like this. Then, you say and do shit like we are a couple. I don’t know what to think.”

Kissing me behind my ear, he whispered, “Don’t think. Just listen to your body.” He slipped one hand around my waist and pulled me back so my back was flush against his chest. His other hand was in my hair. He ran kisses along my neck and shoulder. “Annie, I can’t help how my body reacts to you. When you’re around I’m hard. I need to be inside you.”

My head was spinning. My knees were weak. I attempted to nod. I was too light headed to be sure if I nodded or looked like a drunk chicken with its head cut off. Gage spun me around and captured my mouth. I was lost. Somewhere along the way, not realizing, I had let Gage in. I was falling. Hard and fast. Not knowing if Gage was going to catch me.

21

Gage

    
T
hree months. That’s how long it had been since our hotel hook up. Every chance I got I made the drive from the apartment I was renting in New Orleans to Fairhope. I loved spending time with Annie. What I loved even more was how well Annie and Gabe fit with Londyn and myself. I’m sure to an outside eye we looked like a family. We felt like a family and that scared me.

Annie loved Londyn. Watching them together made me realize how easily I could fall for her. Or was I already falling for her?

“Hello?”

“Hey, Jenna. Do you have a minute?”

“Gage, you sound nervous. Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know.”

“Hold on one second. Evalyn Grace, get over her and pick up your toys like mommy said or I will throw them away.” I heard Evie crying. Jenna turned her attention back to me. “Gage, you still there?”

“Yeah. You sound busy though, I will let you go.”

“What? No, Gage. Tell me what’s going on.”

I rubbed my eyes. Holding my phone between my head and shoulder I picked Londyn up. “I don’t know what to do.”

“About…” Jenna asked slowly.

“Annie. We have been doing this friendly fuck thing for three months. I like her, Jenna. Like, a lot. We agreed though that neither of us wants anything more. But, just thinking about another guy touching her or flirting with her has me worked up. When I’m away from her I miss her. Everything. The way she smells like vanilla. The way her dark hair falls into her face. Her blue eyes twinkling when she plays with our kids. The way her face wrinkles up when she gets aggravated. The way my heart picks up by just seeing her…all of it.”

Jenna was silent. I heard her sniffle before saying, “Gage, you’re falling for her.”

There was no way. Was there?

“Why don’t you talk to her? You need to talk to her, not me. Tell her what you just told me. She would be crazy not to love you back. I know she guards her heart because of her past, as do you. But, I’ve seen the two of you. You’re perfect.”

“Jenna, I can’t love her.” Londyn started wiggling around. I sat her back and the floor and watched as she crawled to her pile of toys.

“Can’t or won’t?”

“There isn’t a difference.”

“Yes there is. I figured that out myself. Aren’t you the one who told me not too long ago, and I quote ‘
It takes a strong heart to love but it takes a stronger heart to continue to love after being hurt
’? You have experienced enough hurt for a lifetime. I hate saying I am one of those people who hurt you, but you can’t let that hold you back. You loved me, but I couldn’t love you. You loved Cobie, but she’s gone. You love Annie, but you’re not giving her a chance to love you back. That’s not fair to you or her.”

I hated the Jenna still got upset about what we went through. It wasn’t her fault. I knew she wasn’t in love with me. Looking back, I’m not entirely sure I was truly in love with her either. We had always been with each other, things with her felt safe. I wanted to know she would never get hurt. I knew with me she was safe. Keeping someone safe doesn’t really define love. After everything she had been through I didn’t want her to be alone. I was the answer.

“Jenna, nothing in the past is your fault. I knew the entire time, I just didn’t want to face reality. I was afraid of losing you. Back then, if I lost you, I lost everything. You walking away from me was probably one of the best damn things you ever did for me. Because of that, I fell in love with Cobie and became a daddy. I just don’t think my heart is strong enough to love again. I don’t think I can risk it.”

“Don’t make me out to be some saint. I fucked you over. You were my best friend and I let you rescue me from something that was my own fault. I should have told you no from the beginning. I wasn’t fair to you. But, I didn’t want to lose you, either. And now, you’re not being fair to Annie. I’m not saying go and profess your love to her. Just talk.”

Sighing, I fell back into the couch. Londyn turned her head, smiling. She looked so much like Cobie. “I wasn’t supposed to go to Fairhope until tomorrow. Maybe, after the game and interview tomorrow I will drive home and surprise her.”

I could he
ar Jenna smiling through the phone. Her voice a little more light hearted. “It will be worth it, trust me. You two seem perfect for each other. She makes you happy. You deserve someone who makes you smile.”

“She does. Thank you, J. For everything. Love you.”

“No, Gage. Thank you for always being there. I’ll talk to you later. Love you, too.”

I tossed my phone o
nto the couch beside me and watched Londyn. It was crazy that she was almost one. That Cobie had been gone for eight months. She missed Londyn rolling over, laughing, playing in the sand, saying “Dada” for the first time, crawling, and taking her first steps. The tightening in my chest had me rubbing my fist on it. I missed her. Being with Annie eased the pain. Jenna was right, she made me happy. Very happy.

Hearing my phon
e chime, I picked it up and saw a text from Trent.

Trent: Hitting up Sinners & Saints. You game?

Me: Nah. I have Londyn.

Trent: Babysitter bro.

Trent: Kline’s wife said she would watch her. No excuses. Get ur ass over here. Guys night.

Me: Fine. Be there around 8.

Maybe that’s what I needed. A night out with the guys and a few drinks. Loosen up a bit. My mind was on overdrive lately. All consumed by one very sexy woman.

Annie

“
N
ight, Leigha. See you tomorrow,” I said walking toward the front door.

She
wrapped Gabe into a tight hug and kissed his forehead. “Love you, buddy. I will see you tomorrow night, okay? We have a big date planned.”

Gabe nodded his head excitedly and said, “Night Aunt Lei
gha. Love you, too.” He ran inside the house, leaving the front door wide open, of course. If I didn’t know any better I would swear he was raised in a damn barn.

Leigha opened her car door before turning to me. “Night, bitch. D
on’t masturbate too much. Gotta have something left for Gage when he gets home.”

Snorting, I rolled my eyes. “Bitch, please. Gabe sleeps with me most nights. No chance of any freaky business going on.
And I’m sure the batteries are dead in B.O.B. anyway.”

Leigha laughed and got into her car. “See you tomorrow. Kiss kiss.” She waved out her window as she backed out of the driveway.

Walking up the sidewalk I looked into the dark night sky. Gage was the first person since Derek that I had let in. He knew about my past and didn’t judge me because of it. I was falling for him, hard and fast. Taking a deep breath, I walked into my house, closing and locking the door behind me.

Grabbing the remote I turned the televisi
on on. Gage was doing an inside interview with Sports Report in New Orleans before coming back to Fairhope. I was missing him since his last three games had been out of town. Maybe seeing his face would help my problem.

Gabe walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. “Can I have a snack mommy?”

“Sure, baby. What do you want?”

Gabe crinkled his face before saying, “Strawberries, please.”

As I made my way into the kitchen I heard Gabe yelling, “Mommy, Gage is on T.V.!”

Grabbing the strawberries from the refrigerator I sat them on the counter so I could see into the living room. I was welcomed by Gage’s bright blue eyes and
killer smile on my television. He was laughing about something the reporter had just said and as he started talking Gabe interrupted, “Mommy, why do they like talking to Gage?”

“I guess because he’s so good.” I really wasn’t sure but that answer sounded good to me. I’m sure they wouldn’t want
to talk to someone who sucked. Looking at the strawberries, I started slicing them into a bowl. I was listening to the interview and the welcomed sound of Gage’s voice.

“Mommy, who’s that lady?” Gabe asked, sounding confused.

Just as I brought my eyes to the television there was a picture of Gage and a red head. Her head was tucked into the crook of his arm and he was holding her close as they walked from the building to a black car. The reporter asked, “We haven’t seen much of you since becoming a daddy, but you were caught last night leaving the downtown hotspot, Sinners and Saints. Am I correct in guessing this pretty girl is your girlfriend?”

Feeling t
he knife slipping from my hands I let it fall to the counter. He didn’t say anything about going out last night when we talked earlier. I felt like I had just been punched in the heart. This fucking hurt.

“Mommy, are my strawberries ready?”

Sucking in a breath, I grabbed the bowl of strawberries and walked into the living room. Sitting down beside Gabe I handed him the bowl. “I guess that lady is Gage’s friend, baby,” I said fighting tears.

“I thought you w
ere his friend,” Gabe said innocently.

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t.
Pulling Gabe closer to me I kissed the top of his head. “After you eat your snack, it’s bedtime.”

Gabe took a big bite and smiled. God, I loved that smile. “Ok, mommy.”

Staring at the television as Gabe devoured his strawberries, a million thoughts ran through my head.

Why did he go out?

Who was the red head?

Did they have sex?

Why didn’t he tell me he went out?

How can I explain to Gabe why Gage won’t be around anymore?

Am I not good enough?

Pretty enough?

Is he not happy with our sex?

Why does this hurt so damn much?

Should I give him the chance to explain?

“Mommy? Are you going to open the door?” Gabe asked, pushing my arm.

“Huh?” I looked down at him, confused.

“The door, mommy. Some body is knocking. Maybe it’s Gage. I miss him.”

Scooting off the couch I shook my head. “Trust me, it’s not Gage. He’s still in New Orleans. He won’t be back until sometime in the morning.” Seeing Gabe’s face fall broke my heart. How am I going to tell him he won’t be seeing Gage ever again? UGH! Sometimes being a mommy was the hardest job in the world.

Looking through the window I saw
him. Gage was standing on my front porch. What the fuck? Opening the door just enough to get out but so Gabe wouldn’t see Gage I shut the door behind me. Gage was instantly pushing his hands into my hair, pulling me too him. Just when his lips brushed mine I pushed him back. I crossed my arms, taking a defensive stance. “What do you want?” I asked. Letting my hurt and anger come out with my voice.

Gage frowned and asked, “No hello kiss?”

Pursing my lips, I put my hands on my hips. “I don’t have time for this Gage.”

“What the fuck is your problem?”
Gage asked, confusion written all over his face.

“Not a damn thing. I just came to some realizations t
onight while watching that entertaining interview of yours.”

Gage took a step back. “It was just some damn girl. I don’t know why you’re getting pissy about it.
So what, I had a few drinks with some woman, I can do what the fuck I want. In case you forgot, we are not together. You were the one that told me you didn’t want a relationship, you weren’t ready. We are both free to do shit we want.”

“Go home, Gage. Fuck whoever, whenever. I’m done with your shit. I don’t need this.
I know you did more than have a few drinks with that bitch. I know how you are. You need sex like I need fucking air. I’m not going to be your on-call bootycall. You can take your shit elsewhere.”

Gage narrowed his eyes
and I could see his jaw ticking. A sign he was highly pissed. Good. “Stop being such a bossy, know it all bitch. We both agreed what this was. You can get pissed as fuck over something you think happened. That’s your problem, not mine.”

Throwing my hands
up, exasperated, I yelled, “I don’t fucking think. I know what happened. It’s who you are, a man whore. And please, spare me the damn details. I don’t want to even think about your dick being shoved into someone else. I told you I’m done with your shit. I’m going inside to put my child to bed. When I come back downstairs, I don’t won’t you here.” Turning on my heal I opened the door and slammed it behind me, locking it.