Beautiful Misery (The Beautiful Series) (26 page)

M
y head was screaming at me. My stomach wanted to lurch outside of my body. I felt like death. Cracking my eyes open I looked around. I was at Gage’s house. I was in Gage’s bed…alone.

On the nightstand next to me was a thermos of coffee, a bottle of aspirin, and a banana. Using the coffee I took four aspirin and ate half the banana. My stomach was hating me.
Against my better judgment I slowly got out of bed. Walking down the hall I heard giggling coming from one of the rooms. You can’t be serious? He puts me in his bed then takes another girl to one of his spare rooms? I had angry and hurt tears fighting my eyes. Trying to get passed the sound as fast as possible I clenched my jaw to stop the pounding in my head and ran down the stairs.

Gage was in the kitchen. How could he be in the kitchen and upstairs at the same time?

“Would you like some bacon?”

I stood stunned. “How did I get here?
And, who’s up there?” I pointed toward the ceiling.

Gage gave me the ‘I don’t feel like answer dumbass question looks’ before saying, “
Trent and Leigha. How do you think you got here, Annie? I had one of my men drive your car over this morning. You were shitfaced. I wasn’t about to leave you alone in a bar full of horny men and wish you luck. You’re mine.”

Sighing, I shook my head. “No, Gage, I’m not.
I don’t think I ever really was.”

He took a few steps toward me and I held my hands up. “Don’t, okay?” I walked passed him and out the back door.

26

Annie

P
icking up a handful of sand I watched as it fell through my fingers. I felt hands rub my shoulders and Gage’s rough voice asked, “You ok?”

I had to do this. I had to end it. This was too much.
I loved Gage. I guess sometimes you can love someone too much. Gage sat beside me. He pulled his knees up and rested his arms on them. I knew he could feel it. He wasn’t a moron.

“When do you
decide to throw the towel in? To give up? Admit that you’re fighting a lost cause?” I looked up from the sand, to see Gage watching me. “This is too much, Gage. I am so tired of fighting this. Fighting the inevitable. I quit. I can’t do this anymore. It’s breaking me down. I’m not happy.”

Gag
e looked at the crashing waves. “I gave you your family, Annie. What more do you want?” He let out an empty laugh, “You know, the last time a girl ended things with me it was on the beach, too.”

“This is what I’m talking about. I feel like I
am the only person fighting for us. Was I just a girl who kept your dick wet? Is that all I was?” I could hear my voice getting higher.

Gage groun
d his teeth. His jaw was ticking. He snapped his head to me and yelled, “What the fuck? I gave you what you wanted so you would be happy. You told me you wanted to be with me, only me. I agreed. I wanted you to be happy. Do you know how many girls I told no because I had made a promise to you?” 

“Wow! Seriously, that’s all you can say? You’re not even going to try and stop me from leaving?”

“What the hell do you want, Annie? I could tell you I can’t breathe without you, but that would be a lie. I don’t need someone to breathe. I could tell you I would die without you, but that would be a lie. I will keep on livin’ long after you’re gone. I could profess my undying love but again, fuckin’ lie. I don’t love you. I can’t love you. I won’t love you. Not the way you want me to.”

Jumping to my feet, I took off walking down the beach toward Gage’s house.
“Fuck you Gage Tucker. I am done with this back and forth shit. When you figure out what you want, talk to me. Maybe I will forgive you. Until then, screw you.”

I needed to pack my stuff and go. I was done with his games. My heart and
my head couldn’t take anymore. Walking into his house, I shut the door and ran up the stairs to his room. I had my stuff packed and in my car before Gage walked into the house. I saw him coming through the back door as I was shutting the front door, tossing my key onto the entry table just before the door closed. I didn’t wait to see if Gage was going to come after me. I got in my car and drove away. Leaving my heart behind.

Pulling into the driveway of my small two bedroom condo I shut my car
off. Gabe was still gone. I had time to unpack and get my shit together. My son didn’t need to see me a mess.

Walking into my bedroom I saw the picture of
Gage and I from his first game as a Saint. He was covered in sweat and looked amazing.

I lost it.

“
Y
ou have to go. You already RSVP’d that you would be there. I need you to be there. I don’t want to sit by myself watching Trent’s friends get married. I mean the few times I have been around them they seem pretty cool but boo! Don’t make me go alone. Pretty please?” Leigha was practically begging at this point.

Flopping down on my bed I let my breath out. “I can’t be around him. I love Sadie and I don’t want to hurt her but I don’t want drama to ensue at her wedding.”

Leigha stood her ground. “Damn you hard headed woman. Get off your damn ass, get a sexy little dress on and let’s go. This isn’t about you and Gage. This is for Tyler and Sadie. Ignore dumbass and have fun. Maybe you can meet some hot football player and make Gage cray jelly. But you need to get your ass ready and to the wedding to do that. Now let’s go!”

Rolling my eyes I shoved off my bed and to my feet. “Will you shut the hell up? I’m getting ready. Now go away.”

“Yay! I can’t go anywhere. Who else is going to make you look bangable? Oh, I know, you should wear that light yellow gown you got for that awards show you are supposed to go to with Gage. It fits you perfect. It’s long and flowy and makes you look like a beach angel. Totally hot.”

Groaning, I said sarcastically, “What’s wrong with what I have on?” Looking down at my over-sized tee shirt and sweatpants, I smirked.

Leigha stuck her tongue out before turning on her heel and walking to my closet. Flinging the door back she rummaged through my clothes. “Ah! Here it is. It’s even more gorgeous than I remember. It will get all the guys attention.”

“Whatever. I don’t want attention. I just want to go say congrats to Sadie
and Ty then leave.”

“Oh don’t worry sweetie. I will have you leaving, just not by yourself. Some big, ripped, manly football player will be taking your hot little ass home tonight.”

Yanking the dress from Leigha I stomped into the bathroom to get changed.

After changing I let
her attempt to tame my hair. She pinned it to the side with my natural curls laying over my shoulder. It was simple but looked good.

“Let’s make those beautiful blues shine,” Leigha said as she pulled my makeup bag out from under the bathroom sink. “Sit. I got this covered. Just close your eyes and when you open them you will look like a magical fairy princess.”

“What the hell? Did a unicorn shit in your yogurt this morning? Everything coming out of your mouth is covered in glitter and sparkles.”

She
huffed. “No. I’m just happy. Not everyone has gone weeks without sex.”

Good point.

Twenty minutes later Leigha stepped away from me, a huge smile on her face. “I knew my best friend was a hot mama but damn girl. You are gorgeous.”

Spinning on the toilet seat to look in the mirror, my jaw dropped. “Wow.”

Giggling, she said, “Yeah. I know. Now let’s go so we aren’t late.”

Of course, Sadie and Tyler’s wedding was on the beach. The beach directly behind Gage’s bar.
The bar I haven’t stepped foot in since I walked away from Gage that day on the beach. Leigha found a parking spot in the lot and pulled her car in. “Ready Freddy?”

Damn.
I really needed to find a new best friend. She was perkier than her perfect perky boobs.

Opening my door, I said, “Sure. Let’s get this over with.”

Letting my eyes roam, I was instantly looking for Gage. Not seeing him in the crowd of people made a little knot form in my stomach. As much as I hated to say it, I was hoping to see him.

Lacing her arm through mine, Leigha softly said, “He’s here. I’m sure he’s locked away with Tyler somewhere. Sadie didn’t want Tyler to see her before the wedding. Relax.”

…And that’s why I wouldn’t find a new best friend. She knew me better than I knew myself sometimes.

I smiled. W
ithout saying anything I led us to a row of white folding chairs a few rows from the front. On the seat waiting for all the guest was a small glass vase filled with sand and seashells. Etched on the glass was this verse which had me fighting my tears.

LOVE.

Love is Patient.

Love is Kind.

It does not envy.

It does not boast.

It is not proud.

It is not rude.

It is not self-seeking.

It is not easily angered.

Love keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil.

Love rejoices with the truth.

Love
always protects.

Love always trusts.

Love always hopes.

Love always perseveres.

Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13
:4-8a

“
Hmm.” Leigha was smiling from the seat beside me.

“What?”

“Just thinking how ironic that little verse is. That’s all.”

Crossing my arms over my chest, I slouched down in the chair and kicked at the sand. “I really need a new best friend.” Leigha stuck her bottom lip out like she was Gabe begging for a new toy. “Tha
t lip shit doesn’t work with Gabe, it sure as hell isn’t going to work with you.” She stuck her tongue out before opening the program she grabbed on our way in.

S
oft music started playing. Looking back I saw Tyler walking up the isle with the pastor. Tyler looked happy. Making the mistake of looking back again, I saw Gage walking two older ladies down the aisle. The woman on his left looked identical to Sadie. You could tell the woman on his right was related to Tyler, though the resemblance wasn’t as close as Sadie and her mom. He started laughing when Sadie’s mom whispered something to him. His eyes scanned the crowd. He found me. Once our eyes locked he never took them off of me. Even turning his head back once he was passed me to keep his eyes locked with mine.

I wanted to look away. I wanted to, but I didn’t. I stood when I heard the bridal march play
, but never looked at Sadie. I couldn’t. Gage had all my attention.

Have you ever seen those episodes of Charlie Brown where the adults talk but all you hear is
WHAAA WHAAA WHAAA
? That was exactly what I was experiencing. All my focus was on Gage. Leigha noticed and nudged me with her elbow, pulling me out of my Gage trance. I was still watching him but I was giving Tyler and Sadie my attention.

As Tyler repeated his vows to Sadie it looked as if Gage was saying those same vows to me.

Why? Why would he do this to me?

Leaning over so I was close to Leigha’s ear I whispered, “I can’t do this, Le. As soon as they say ‘I do’ I’m outta here.”

Leigha slowly shook her head and simply said, “No.”

Using all my strength I forced myself to look away from Gage. Looking at Sadie and Tyler I could see how in love they were. With four little girls they had everything in life. Everything I would never have. When the pastor gave Tyler the okay to kiss his bride he grabbed Sadie around the neck, dipping her down and kissing her hard. The perfect, romantic kiss. The cherry on top of my ‘poor Annie’ sundae.

his free hand Gage pulled out a key to unlock the door. Once the door was open he looked behind us , scanning the hallway and the small area of the bar he could see, then pulled me into the dark room.
Once we were both inside Gage used his foot to kick the door shut, then locked it. Turning back to me he ran his hands through his hair. I could see his biceps flexing as he paced. "Fuck! I can't do this. Not with you, not here."
Confused I asked, "What? What the hell is wrong with me? You're the one that drug me back here not even two minutes ago!"
Gritting his teeth Gage closed his eyes and bit out, "Cobie you should go because I can't fucking walk away from you. You smell like fucking heaven and look like a God damn Victoria's Secret angel."
Stepping up to him so I was flush against him, I wrapped both my arms around his neck and whispered, "Gage, I want you and I'm not going anywhere."
His deep midnight blue eyes searched my chestnut brown eyes.
Sighing he bit his bottom lip. "But you're my best friends sister. I shouldn't...I can't do this."
Kissing up his strong jaw I said, "I want you and I always get what I want. Just one night, Gage, that's it. Then we go on with our lives like usual."
Gage ran his hands through my hair, stopping at my nape. He jerked my head up, capturing my mouth with his.
Everyone stood and clapped as Tyler and Sadie walked back down the aisle hand in hand.

“Trent said cocktails would be served in the bar while they got pictures then we can come back down to the tent for the reception.” Leigha pointed passed me to a giant white tent, lined with candles.

“I really don’t want to do this, Le. Just looking at him makes my stomach hurt.”

“You miss him. It’s expected. Love isn’t easy. Dumb
ass is a fuck up. But, you can’t help who you love. Have a drink and don’t let Gage ruin your night. Let’s have fun.”

“I’m tryin
g. I was doing okay until I saw him. I can’t be around him. Not yet.”

“I’ll tell Trent to keep him away. Trent can be like your body guard.”