Beautiful Surrender (The Surrender Series Book Three) (7 page)

“Not
even Ariel?” I asked, before I knew the words were out of my mouth.

Giselle
stopped whisking the frosting for a moment, but continued. “No, not Ariel. That
was a different period in Vincent’s life. And mine, really. We didn’t talk much
while he was dating her.”

“I
see.”

“He’s
much more family oriented now than he was then.”

“Oh?”

“Ever
since our parents died. He grew up after that.”

I stopped
in place. Vincent’s parents were dead? He had never talked about them, but then
I rarely talked about my parents and they were still alive and kicking back in
Texas. How had it never come up that his parents had already passed away? Did
he just not care?

I began
spreading the frosting again. “I didn’t know your parents had passed,” I said
quietly.

It was
her turn to put her whisk down. “Oh, sorry. I guess it’s been so long. They
passed away nine years ago.”

So
Vincent must have been very young. Younger than I was as I stood in that
kitchen. Even though I didn’t talk to my parents much and didn’t rely on them
financially at all, I couldn’t imagine them being gone.

“Wow,
you two were young then.”

“I like
to think thirty is still young!” she said, laughing.

My
cheeks flushed. “That’s not what I meant!”

“I
know, I know. It was way too young to lose our parents. Vincent took it very
hard. It actually turned out to be the beginning of his success.”

“What
do you mean?”

“After
they passed away, he finally got his act together. He developed the camera a
few months after the funeral. It was like he was possessed. We were both
staying at our parents’ house for awhile after the accident and living on the
small inheritance we got. He would be working twenty hours a day for weeks on
end, out in the garage and on the computer and on the phone. It was a
transformation. He went from being a slacker with potential to someone who was
totally obsessed.”

The
tone in her voice had changed. Her words took on a strange sharpness, like she
was trying to cut them into me and make sure they sunk in. She obviously
admired Vincent very deeply. This wasn’t a connection that was for the sake of
appearances: Vincent meant the world to her. Listening to her talk about him, I
could see why.

She
continued. “Any time he wasn’t working he was saying he was going to take care
of me and of us. To a twenty year old it’s pretty weird to have your surfer
brother tell you that he’s going to take care of the family. It sounds like
wishful thinking from a guy who’s just grieving for his parents, but Vincent
really changed. He became this very intense person who found success everywhere
he looked because he wouldn’t accept failure. He was selling that camera in
three months and had it with retailers soon after, and he just built and built.
Everyone underestimates him because of his appearance and his hobbies, but he
just keeps plowing forward.”

I had
researched the story of Vincent’s company from a financial perspective, but I
hadn’t given thought to what it meant on a personal level to grind out so much
success. Giselle had seen it first hand. In a way, I was almost jealous.

“It
sounds like you admire him,” I said, simply because I hadn’t spoken in a while.
We had both stopped with our frosting duties.

She
nodded. “Then he changed again when Brady was born. Before that, he was on a
path where it was nothing but business and intensity, but you can’t be intense
with a newborn. Vincent makes sure my son has the best of everything. Vincent
set up Brady’s college fund the day after Brady was born, and has done so much
research on camps and things to send him to.”

She
shrugged, laughing. “I’ll get these emails at two a.m. saying ‘it’s your kid
but I just want to tell you I’m happy to pay to send him to this camp when he’s
old enough’ or ‘do you think Brady would like this? I can get it delivered this
weekend.’ Never mind my son, it’s a full-time job keeping up with Vincent!”

Before
today, I would’ve had a hard time imagining Vincent being so focused on a child.
He was always so busy either with his business or doing crazy recreational
activities. Having a kid was a lot of responsibility. It was almost in complete
opposition to his lifestyle. “It sounds like he practically treats Brady as his
own kid.”

She
shook her head. “He knows the limit. The way he gives me options is always a
one-off. He doesn’t argue with me or nag me or anything like that. He cares
tremendously about his nephew and has an unusual capacity for helping out, so
he’s taking advantage of that. Plus as you’ve seen, his gifts for Brady aren’t
outrageous. I think Brady will become conscious of how much money his uncle has
very slowly.” She took a taste of the frosting. “Put it this way: it’s a good
parenting challenge to have.”

“What
does Rob think?”

“He’s
supportive. Vincent and him get along well. My brother takes the protective
older sibling thing very seriously.”

I knew
more about how protective Vincent could be than I wanted to. “I bet.”

Giselle
turned and looked at me intently. I did my best to keep a poker face and
concentrate on spreading the frosting, though I could see her out of the corner
of my eye. To my relief, she finally went back to her own frosting job.

“Anyway,”
she said, “Vincent’s wonderful with Brady. Like another child. I hope he can
have children of his own soon.”

I
dropped the frosting spreader on the counter and it tumbled to the floor.
Embarrassed, I scrambled and picked it up. Was she suggesting what I thought
she was?

She
stopped whisking again and squinted, smiling quizzically. “I didn’t say he’s in
a rush!”

I
washed it off in the sink before wiping up the frosting on the floor. “Sorry,
I’m just a little clumsy.”

She
stood with her arms crossed, watching me again. “That’s okay, accidents
happen.”

Her
sleeves were rolled up, and as I was looking at her trying to judge her
expression my eyes fell to some peculiar scars on her forearms. Were those
cigarette burns? Nothing in the house smelled like cigarette smoke, so I was
guessing she wasn’t a smoker. Maybe she had been one in the past, before Brady.
Or maybe it was something more nefarious.

She
seemed to notice I was looking at her arms and rolled down her sleeves before
turning back to work. “Anyway, I do hope things work out between you two,”
Giselle said. “I would love it if Vincent has finally found someone to share
his life with.”

I let
the question of her arms go and flashed a smile fit for a job interview. “So
far he’s been pretty great.”

I heard
their footsteps a second before they burst in. There was a crash at the kitchen
door, then the knob turned and Brady came in giggling, with Vincent close
behind.

“Hey
buddy, come back. Where are you going?” Vincent cried.

Brady
made a beeline straight for me and threw his arms around my right leg.
“Kristen,” he screamed, “Come play trains!”

I
looked at Giselle, who was smiling. “It looks like I’m being summoned,” I said.

“I
think so. You guys have fun, I can finish up here.”

The
three of us went back and played trains until the cake was ready. By that
point, a couple of Brady’s friends had come over with their parents, and
Vincent and I were nearly forgotten. The party ended up lasting until seven
o’clock. By the time we left, I was as tuckered out as the kids. I slept in the
car the whole way home.

Sunday was
a blur of errands and getting my life in order. Seeing Vincent in a family
environment was a serious eye-opener. After the way he had handled Marty, I was
afraid I was dating a hyper-logical man with the emotions of a caveman. But
now, seeing him with Brady, it was clear he had a lot of love in his heart.
That made me feel good.

Monday
morning I dragged my feet out of bed and lurched my way to work. As I stepped
off the elevator on the forty-eighth floor of the tall, glass building housing
Waterbridge-Howser, I started feeling dizzy. I had a rough night trying to
sleep and only ended up getting a few hours. When I got to my office, I put
down my bag and walked right back out. I needed caffeine. Badly.

I went
to the common kitchen area with my cup. When I smelled the coffee pot, it made
me nauseous.

“Man,
who made the coffee this morning? It smells terrible.”

An
analyst named Sam was also in the kitchen; he was busy slathering a bagel with
cream cheese. He took a bite of his bagel then a sip of his mug. “Hmm tastes
fine to me. I don’t smell anything unusual.”

“You
don’t smell it? It smells like dirty feet and tires.”

“Maybe
you got a super sniffer.”

“A
what?”

“You
know, like someone who has super sensitive taste buds except with smell. I saw
it on an episode of Law & Order. When the police dog was unable to sniff
out drugs from a crime scene, they brought in this guy who was a super
sniffer.”

Suddenly
curious that I might have a superpower, I asked, “Did he find anything at the
scene?”

He
nodded vigorously. “He sniffed out this scent that the dog wasn’t trained to
detect. It was some weird chemical that led the police to this abandoned paint
factory where they found incriminating evidence.”

“Interesting.”

“See if
you can sniff my deodorant.” He lifted up his armpit and I noticed a faint
sweat stain on the shirt fabric. Fortunately he was several feet away.

“I
can’t smell anything from here.”

“Maybe
you’re not a super sniffer then.”

“Yeah,
I don’t think I have that ability. Otherwise, I would’ve probably figured it
out earlier.”

He took
another bite of his bagel. “Could be you’re pregnant.”

I
nearly dropped my empty mug but caught it at the last moment. “What?”

He
finished chewing. “When my wife was pregnant, she couldn’t stand certain
smells. Like coffee and the smell of the grocery store.”

I
laughed nervously and batted my hand at the notion. Sam shrugged and went off
to his own desk to do work or perhaps ponder the mystery.

I
remained in the kitchen. What if I really was pregnant?

The
past couple weeks raced through my mind. I’d vomited twice. The first time I’d
attributed to bad Chinese food. The second time happened because I was
distraught over Marty showing up and the argument with Vincent that followed.
Surely it wasn’t morning sickness . . .

My hand
flew to cover my open mouth when I realized something: it was almost a week now
that my period was late.

Oh no.

During
lunch, I made a trip to Duane Reade and picked up a pregnancy test. When I got
to the family planning aisle, I felt like I was walking into a sex shop looking
over my shoulder every second like I was about to do something scandalous. I
found what I was looking for and tucked the box under my arm until I reached
the register. After paying, I hurriedly put the box in my purse hoping no one saw
me buy it.

When I
got home, I spotted Riley in her usual spot on the couch watching TV. I set
down my tote in a kitchen chair and headed for the bathroom with the test box
in hand, careful to keep it hidden from Riley.

I
locked the door and stared at the box for a moment. The picture on the front
showed a woman smiling brightly. I glanced in the mirror and saw that my
expression looked nothing like that.

I took
out a strip and followed the directions, my hands trembling the entire time.

It
would take a few minutes before the results showed. I closed my eyes and
started a countdown in my mind, dreading to see the result.

Deep
breaths, Kristen.

Finally,
five minutes had passed. I looked down at the test in my hand.  

Pink
line. I was pregnant.

I
dropped the test on the floor. My hands were shaking. This had to be a mistake.
No way I was pregnant. I’d been on birth control. Even though Vincent came
inside me when we were in the Caribbean, there was no way he got me pregnant.
It didn’t matter how potent his sperm was, it couldn’t beat birth control . . .
right?

I took
another one.

Five
excruciatingly long minutes later, I looked at it.

Pink
line again.

Shit
.
Shit shit shit. Shit. Fuck.

My
world was coming apart.
This can’t be happening.

I
frantically examined the box, hoping to find a warning about its inaccuracy.

“Over
99% accurate. Take comfort in knowing your results.”

I
stepped out of the bathroom and went to the living room where Riley was sipping
a diet coke.

“Riley,
I need to ask you something.” I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible for
someone who just discovered they were pregnant.

She put
her drink down on the coffee table and turned her attention to me. “Sure, what
is it?”

“Is it
possible to get two false-positives on a pregnancy test?”

“Huh?
Why are you . . .” Her eyes widened. “Oh my god. Are you pregnant?”

I tried
holding the tears back but they started flowing against my will. “I just took a
test and that’s what it said.”

“I
thought you were on birth control!”

“I was,
I mean, I am. I just—I don’t know how this could have happened.”

“Oh
Kris, you know that even the pill isn’t one-hundred percent effective.”

I
nodded. “I mean, I knew that as a concept, but I never thought that I’d be the
tiny sliver of a percentage that it would fail for!”

Riley
studied my face, probably discerning that congratulations weren’t in order. Her
tone became serious. “What are you going to do?”

I
started crying harder. “I never planned for this. Vincent and I never talked
about it. We’ve barely even known each other for two months!”

Riley
came to hug me and rub my back. “It’s going to be okay, Kris. You have options.
It’s not the end of the world.”

“I
don’t know what to do.”

Her
voice was soft. “Are you considering getting an abortion?”

“I
don’t know. What other choice do I have? I’m not ready to be a mom. I thought
I’d be into my thirties before I considered having a baby. I don’t even know
how Vincent would react if he found out.”

“Are
you going to tell him?”

“Should
I?”

“You
should. He has a right to know. He is the father right?”

I wiped
the tears from my cheek. “Unless my fingers have started magically producing
sperm, yes. Vincent’s the only one I’ve had sex with.”

“Okay.
How is your relationship with him going? You said you two made up right?”

“Yeah,
we did.”

“Good.
That should make it easier to tell him. Have faith in him, Kris. Didn’t you say
he adored his nephew?”

Giselle’s
stories about Vincent’s emails in the early morning hours enthusing over
activities and programs for Brady ran through my mind. “He does. I think he
might actually be too intense about it.”

“What
do you mean?”

“I
don’t know, his sister made it sound like he’s borderline obsessed with the
kid. Sends her emails at two in the morning with camps and stuff his nephew can
go to when he’s old enough.”

Riley
nodded. “That sounds very sweet. It sounds like he would be a great dad.”

“I
don’t know Riley, liking kids is not the same as wanting one of your own.”

“That’s
true. He’s a busy CEO and lives a fast-paced lifestyle. But liking kids is
certainly a positive sign.”

“Or
what if he really does want a child and I don’t? What if I just don’t want to
be a mom yet? I could get an abortion and not tell him. Wouldn’t that be
easier? If I tell him, and we disagree, this could destroy our relationship.
Then it would have been easier just to not tell him, and maybe we can have a
baby years from now.”

She
sucked in a deep breath. “I think you should think hard about whether you want
to get an abortion. My mother had an unplanned pregnancy and almost got an abortion.
I’m glad she didn’t, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.”

I could
feel my face grow hot with embarrassment. “Riley, I didn’t know . . .”

“It’s
okay. We all have secrets Kristen.” She squeezed my hand. “Just don’t make a
quick decision. Think about it. I think I would tell Vincent. If you make this
decision by yourself, it’s going to be a strain on your relationship for the
rest of the time you’re together. I mean, it’s pretty dishonest.”

She
made a good point. If Vincent couldn’t trust me to talk to him about something
this important, that said bad things about the health of our relationship as a
whole. Still though, it was just so much to deal with. “You don’t think I’m too
young to have a child?”

Riley
shook her head. “You’re twenty-five. A lot of women have children at that age.
When people are as young as we are, typically money is a big concern, but
that’s obviously not the case here. You have a great job and Vincent is
loaded.”

“That’s
part of it though, Riley. I can’t have a baby fathered by my client. That’s
beyond scandalous. If I decide to have this baby, my time at Waterbridge-Howser
is done.”

“I
thought you said they had no policy against it!”

I
sighed. “Official policy is one thing. Shoving it in the company’s face by
taking maternity leave to have a baby fathered by a client is another. It’s
practically proof they got the client because I had sex with him. Other wealth
management firms could use that against them every time they make a pitch. The
wealth management business is pretty conservative.”

“So
they would fire you? Isn’t that illegal?”

“They
might if they could figure out how to get away with it, or they would force me
out slowly. It doesn’t matter. If I decide to have this baby, I need to find a
new job before it happens. Before I start showing, actually.”

“Wow.
That is a lot to handle.”

“It
feels like too much. What is Vincent going to say when I drop all these
problems on his lap?”

She
shook her head. “Talk to him and find out. He’s the CEO of an enormous company,
I’m sure he’s used to dealing with complicated situations. If you don’t talk to
him about it, I think you’ll regret it later.”

“And if
we break up because we can’t work it out?”

“If you
guys can’t work through an issue like this together, is the relationship still
worth it?”

I took
a deep breath. “I guess not. Still though. This is so much.”

“You
don’t have to make a decision yet. Like I said, I think you should talk to him.
That’s what I would do.”

That
night, I lay in bed thinking about how chaotic my life had become. I was pregnant.
It explained how strange I had been feeling lately, but it still left me with
more questions than answers. My life had been on the straight and narrow for so
long, traveling steadily along a single path. The past two months had been the
sharpest detour I could imagine.

Vincent
was part of that detour, though, and the more I thought about it, the more I
agreed with Riley. I needed to talk to him about my pregnancy. It was
unplanned, yes, but maybe it would end up being a pleasant accident. I couldn’t
rule that out. What I did know was if I made the decision without keeping him
in the loop, I would have to hide that from him for the rest of my life. As
long as we were together, anyway. I didn’t want that hanging over our
relationship.

I had a
meeting scheduled with him on Thursday. So far, the topic of the meeting would
be going over the investment strategy options I had developed for his personal
wealth, but it looked like there would be another item added to the agenda,
official or not.