Beautiful Ties (29 page)

I could see it in my mom’s eyes that she was about to burst with joy, but she held herself together.

“Okay, we can handle that,” Mom said, resting her hand on Bethany’s shoulder and smiling at her. “Thank you so much, dear.”

“No problem,” she replied in a sincere tone. “Right this way,” she added, leading the way.

Pearl was at my side, holding my hand. Jason swung his head to the side, gazing down at me, as we started to walk behind everyone toward the room. A smile was etched in his face, and it reached all the way to his eyes. I lifted my free hand and linked it with Jason’s as we continued down the hall.

As we all emerged into the room, my eyes immediately landed on Kate. She was swaddling her newborn on the hospital bed, snuggling her close into her body, while cooing affectionately at her. Hearing the herd of our family emerging into the room, Kate looked up, noticing her husband first. She smiled lovingly at him. Ryan came to a stop at the side of the bed, bending down to softly kiss Kate on the forehead, and then he placed a second one on the top of Annabel’s head.

“Everyone is here to see you,” Ryan cooed at his daughter.

Kate repositioned Annabel, so we could all see her face. “Miss Annabel, your family would like to meet you.” She smiled down at her baby.

My parents, Kyle, Lily, Jason, Pearl, and I all surrounded Kate’s bedside, taking in our fill of Annabel for the very first time. The room was suddenly filled with oohs and aahs. Annabel’s tiny head was covered in a pink-and-blue hospital bonnet while her body was nestled in a white-and-blue blanket. Her skin was a soft pink tone, and she had her mother’s long, narrow face and full lips. She had a round button nose and high cheekbones that she’d surely inherited from Ryan, making me smile at the resemblance, and the coloring of her eyebrows was a chocolate brown, another Madison family trait.

My mom was the closest to Ryan. Tears filled her eyes and spilled over, toppling down her cheeks. “Oh, Ryan,” Mom cried, setting her arm around her son’s shoulder and patting him. “She’s precious.”

We all agreed as Ryan glanced at Mom.

“Thank you, Mom,” he responded. His voice was thick with emotion as he looked down at Annabel. “We think so, too.”

“Would you like to hold her?” Kate asked my mom.

“Oh, yes,” my mom readily agreed.

And so, it began. My family and I all took turns holding and snuggling with Annabel. We chatted about who she looked like the most overall and which specific traits she’d inherited from whom. We were all falling madly in love with this new baby girl who had mesmerized us with her beauty. There was so much love in the air. It was powerful and consuming and utterly beautiful. It was astounding how a new life could impact a family.

After all the adults had held Annabel, I glanced up at my brother and Kate. “Would it be okay for Pearl to hold Annabel, if I sit with her?” I asked, wanting to make sure I had their permission.

Ryan and Kate both answered, “Of course,” simultaneously.

Since Ryan was now holding the baby again, he stepped forward and passed her to me. I carefully nestled her in my arms and turned around to gesture a very excited seven-year-old over toward the oversized green chair next to Kate’s bed.

Pearl eagerly sat down and scooted all the way to the far left side of the seat, beaming up at me. I slowly took a seat next to her. There was just enough room for the two of us. As I gently placed Annabel on Pearl’s lap, Jason came and knelt down on his haunches directly in front of me. He lifted his hand, rested it on my knee, and began tenderly rubbing his thumb back and forth over my skin, observing Pearl and me intently. I watched Pearl as her eyes roamed over Annabel’s features.

“She’s so tiny, just like my baby dolls,” Pearl said in amazement. Then, she glanced between Jason and me. “Except she’s a little heavier.”

Jason and I chuckled quietly at her.

“Yes, she is,” Jason said.

With a smile, I added, “And she will be able to make a lot more noise than your dolls, too.”

Pearl giggled up at us before returning her focus to Annabel, cooing at her. Her face suddenly turned serious. “She’s so beautiful…just like a princess,” she spoke in a hushed tone.

A loose tendril of Pearl’s hair had fallen down, shielding her face from my view. I lifted my right hand and tucked it behind her ear, so I could see her vibrant emerald eyes again.

“All little girls are beautiful princesses, including you, sweetheart,” I murmured, wanting her to know how special she was.

I heard Pearl’s audible intake of breath as her eyes flickered to mine. “If I’m a princess, then you are, too,” she whispered, staring at me and then Jason.

Her eyes reflected a certain kind of love and friendship, but I also saw a vulnerability in them when she seemed to realize how much she was silently exposing her feelings to Jason and me.

In that moment, time stood still as something transpired in the air between the three of us. It was almost as if the pieces of a puzzle were slipping into place…in my heart. My chest tightened painfully as I came to realize how much Pearl had truly come to mean to me in only a short six months. In my heart, I knew that I loved her more than I ever thought possible, and I would do anything for her.

She had entwined herself around my heart.

Just as Jason had.

Over the course of the next few weeks, Pearl had been pleading for Jason and me to take her to the dock painted on the canvas Jason had bought for me. It was proudly displayed above the center of my living room couch. I had tried to reach Diane for the last several days on her cell to ask her permission to take Pearl to the dock on Saturday, but I had received no response back yet.

After having a two-hour lunch with Kyle to go over upcoming scheduled business meetings, I pulled into my parking garage earlier than usual, and I decided to drop by Diane’s place in person. I exited my car, locked up my garage, and strolled toward Diane’s condo. I was hoping to catch her before she headed out for her usual evening shift. When I reached her front porch, I rang her doorbell.

“Coming!” Diane shouted from inside.

A few seconds later, she whipped open the door. Her eyebrows rose when she glanced over at me.

“Uh…hi, Abbey,” she muttered with a shocked expression on her face.

Then, she shifted on her feet, now looking nervous or guilty. I could not tell which, and I was confused by her reaction to seeing me.

“Pearl is not home from school yet.”

“I know,” I responded, offering a friendly smile. “I was stopping by to ask for your permission to take Pearl to the beach at the lake tomorrow. She has been asking me for weeks, and I wanted to surprise her tomorrow.”

“Um…” She hesitated, and then a long sigh followed. “Look, Abbey, since you’re here, would you mind coming in for a moment? I have something I need to tell you.”

My heart sank, and my stomach churned at her tone.
Something is wrong.

“Is Pearl okay?” I asked immediately, concern evident in my voice.

“Yes,” Diane answered, gesturing me inside her condo. “But I still think we should talk, preferably while she’s not home.”

Now, my pulse was profusely hammering throughout my veins, making my temples throb. I cautiously stepped inside, my legs suddenly feeling numb.

Diane motioned me to her couch, and I sat down. She took a seat across from me in a brown leather chair and released an exasperated sigh.

“I have been meaning to talk to you for a few weeks now, but I simply couldn’t figure out how to say this to you.” She paused again, rubbing her hands together nervously in her lap.

I felt myself growing nauseous, fearing what she could possibly want to tell me. “Okay,” I drawled, urging her to continue and get it over with.

“I don’t know if you know this or not, but my sister, Christine, was Pearl’s adopted mother since she was about two years old.” She shook her head. “I don’t know much about Pearl’s life before that, other than she was an orphan.”

Her voice was strained as she continued, “My sister died about six months ago, and Pearl has lived with me ever since. I only took her in because she had nowhere else to go, and I felt it was my duty to take care of her since my sister had listed me in her will.”

She took a deep breath. “I’ve done my best to adjust to taking care of her. However, I don’t think I’m at the best point in my life to raise a child. I don’t know how to be a mom…nor do I want to. I miss my freedom, and Pearl deserves more than I can give her.”

Tears filled every surface of my eyes. My heart was breaking and shattering beyond belief. I could not even begin to wrap my mind around how anyone could not want to love and care for Pearl. She was so sweet and loving and beautiful—inside and out. I wanted to argue and voice my feelings. I couldn’t possibly understand why Diane didn’t want her, all the while knowing how much I loved that little girl.

She was my heart.

The thought of losing her would destroy me.

Diane looked down at her hands as if she couldn’t look me in the eyes. “On every level, I know this is wrong to say, but every single time I look at her, memories of Christine flood my mind, and I mourn her all over again. It’s just too painful.” She exhaled deeply. “So, I can’t take Pearl anymore. I found some old adoption papers when I was going through some of Christine’s boxes last week. I’m taking Pearl to the adoption agency listed on the documents tomorrow, so they can place her in a new home…” She paused, meeting my gaze. “A better home. I just can’t do it anymore,” she added, more to herself than me.

“No!” I protested, rising to my feet.

I could not let her take Pearl away from me. I would fight tooth and nail to keep Pearl in my life. There was no way I was going to let her go. She meant the world to me, and she already owned part of my heart.

Diane’s eyes widened, and she rose, going eye-to-eye with me. “I’m sorry if this affects you, Abbey, but my mind is already made up,” she replied defensively.

“Please don’t do that,” I begged, knowing with all my heart that I could not let go of Pearl.

I was a firm believer in the notion that everything happened for a reason, and Pearl had walked into my life for a reason—for me to love her.

I swallowed deeply, choking back the emotions I felt overcoming me. “I love that little girl with all my heart. Please, please let me take her,” I added. I knew this was what I wanted with all my heart even though I had no idea how to go about adopting or raising a child, but I would do it for Pearl. I could only pray Pearl would want to be with me, too.

Diane looked at me with perplexed eyes. “Abbey, you look so young, and you have so much life ahead of you. Why would you want the burden of raising a child?”

The answer was so easy. I didn’t even have to think about it. My heart already knew the answer.

“Because I love her,” I stated simply without any doubt in my mind. I had to make Diane understand. “Please, Diane. I’ll go through all the proper steps and sign whatever you need me to in order to make it legal. Just please don’t make Pearl go through the adoption process again because I can assure you that I will fight for her. She already has a home, and that’s with me,” I added, pointing to the center of my chest.

Diane rocked back on her heels, looking to be reeling from my speech. She was quiet for what felt like an eternity. “Abbey—” she objected.

I cut her off. “Please don’t take her away from me,” I breathed. Tears blurred my vision, but I did not care. “I love her,” I repeated.

She sighed and shook her head, sounding defeated. “The only reason I’m even considering this,” she said, searching my eyes, “is because I can see how much you love her.”

“I do.” I nodded, praying with all my heart that she would give me the answer I desperately wanted.

The next several moments were the longest of my life.

“Okay,” she answered. “You and I will need to talk with someone soon, and I’ll expect you to cover the court and attorney costs to legally adopt her.”

“Thank you!” I cried, letting out the deepest breath imaginable. I put all of our differences aside and threw myself forward to hug Diane.

She kept her posture rigid and drew back. “One more thing, Abbey.” Her voice was all business now. “We’ll need to do this as quickly as possible as I’m planning to move back to Oklahoma soon, so I can live near my folks.”

“That’s not a problem,” I answered.

“All right,” she responded, glancing over at the clock. “Well, you better get going. Pearl will be home soon, and I need to talk things over with her to make sure this is what she wants. We can let things settle and speak again on Monday?”

“Yes,” I said.

Diane led me over to the door.

I stopped at the threshold, turning back to look at her once more. “Thank you again, Diane. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you’re giving me this opportunity.”

“You’re a good person, Abbey. I think you two will be a perfect fit,” she said. Her voice was both happy and sad.

“Me, too,” I breathed.

We both waved good-bye.

As I made my way back toward my condo, I replayed my conversation with Diane in my mind. I had absolutely no regrets in making a quick decision. Everything I’d said about Pearl and what I felt for her was true. As I unlocked my front door and opened it, I was surprised to see Jason was already home. He was watching TV on the couch with his feet kicked up on the end table.