Beautifully Forgotten (48 page)

Trace called Lucien from the hospital. His friend answered on the first ring.

“Is it time?” Lucien asked.

“It’s Ember; she’s in the hospital.”

“Trace, what’s wrong? Is she having the baby?”

His next words were broken. “I need you to come.”

Trace didn’t notice when his friends came through the ER doors, because he was wild with grief.

“Where is my wife?”

The nurse was on the phone and put up her finger to Trace, signaling she needed another minute or two while she continued her conversation.

He slammed his hands down so hard on the counter it sounded like a gun blast.

“Where the fuck is my wife?”

“I’ll have to call you back.” The nurse’s hands shook as she replaced the receiver.

“Who, sir?”

“Ember Montgomery.”

“The doctors are in with her.”

“Where? I want to see her.”

“You can’t,” the nurse said, trying to be firm.

Lucien walked up to Trace. “She’s right. You want the doctors focused completely on Ember. You will only distract them.”

Trace raked his hand through his hair and felt himself losing control. He gazed back at the nurse. “Can you tell me how she is? What’s happening?”

He knew she could see the depth of his despair. She stood. “I don’t know, but I’ll go back and see what I can find out.”

She moved briskly down the hall.

“What the hell happened?” Lucien demanded.

His pain and fear were consuming him. He barely recognized his own voice. “She died. For almost a minute she was gone.” He had watched Ember die. The sight was going to haunt him for the rest of his life.

“What?” The word was ripped from Darcy’s throat on a sob.

“She was getting ready for bed. She stumbled before she just dropped to the floor, her head hit the edge of the dresser”—tears filled his eyes—“and she just crumbled and then her body started convulsing. They’re most concerned about the head wound—there could be brain trauma.” He needed a minute to fight for control before he added, “She was bleeding badly from between her legs. The paramedics think she may have ruptured the placenta when she fell.”

The nurse returned and she looked so solemn that Trace immediately thought the worst.

“The seizure was brought on by eclampsia, so they’re delivering the baby.”

“Isn’t it too early?” Darcy asked.

“The doctors will have to tell you that; I’m sorry.”

Trace walked to the far corner of the waiting room, leaned up against the wall, and lowered his head.

Over the next hour the waiting room filled up and, though it was standing room only, the voices were only a soft hum. Through it all, Trace stood alone in the corner.

Trace’s head lifted as Ember’s father approached. “How is she?”

“There’s no word yet.”

“She’ll pull through this. You know Ember, she’s tenacious.”

The room was so silent that Trace’s next words hung in the air hauntingly, “I can’t live without her.”

“You can. Believe me, son, you can, but you aren’t going to have to.”

Two hours after Ember was brought into the ER, Dr. Cole came out into the waiting room. “Trace?”

He lifted his head and moved to her. “Yes.”

“The baby’s fine, a few weeks early, but she’s very strong.”

“And Ember?”

“She lost a lot of blood and, unfortunately . . .” She looked down at the chart before she returned her gaze to his. “I’m sorry, but we had to give her a full hysterectomy to stop the bleeding.”

“Is she okay?” Trace demanded.

“The seizure was brought on by eclampsia and it isn’t uncommon for the patient to slip into a coma. However, with the blow she took to her head, we’re unsure if the coma is from the eclampsia or if it’s a result of brain trauma. If the trauma to her brain was significant enough to render her unconscious . . .”

“What, damn it?”

“Well, there’s a possibility, though unlikely, that she may never regain consciousness. The next six hours are critical.”

“And if she doesn’t wake up within six hours?”

“There are rare cases that the person can be out for days and regain full function, but, like I said, that is very rare.” Dr. Cole reached for Trace’s hand. “Ember is young and strong. She’ll pull through this.”

“Can I see her?”

Trace walked down the long corridor, but didn’t see anything, didn’t hear anything. His feet moved him, but he wasn’t sure how. When he reached her room, he stood outside of it for a moment, battling what was raging inside him. He needed to be strong for her even if he felt as if he were being ripped apart, his body being eviscerated by the doctor’s words.

She looked like she was sleeping. Her hair had been washed, and he thought how fucked it was that even though she may be lost to him forever, her hair had been shampooed. He moved to the chair next to her bed and reached for her hand and, when he felt its warmth, a tear slipped down his cheek because he had feared it would be cold.

“We have a daughter. You need to wake up, sweetheart, so we can meet her together. Everyone’s here, waiting to celebrate with us, but you need to wake up first. I know you’re tired, love, you’ve been so tired, but you can sleep later and I’ll hold you for as long as you need. But right now, I need you to open your eyes so that I can see inside you. I need to see inside you, Ember.”

He rested his head on her stomach and his next words tore from his throat with his anguish. “Please don’t leave me. You promised me forever.”

Lucien sat in the waiting room with Darcy curled up in his lap because there wasn’t another available seat; people were on the floor, leaning against the wall. Everyone that Ember knew, everyone that had been touched by her in some way, was here, including Lena and Dane. Brandon and Seth were getting food and coffee for people. Kyle was keeping regular tabs with the nurses and passing on any news. Rafe was passing around boxes of tissues, comforting while being comforted. Charles Michaels stood with Horace and Nathaniel, all silently waiting. Lucien couldn’t put into words how it made him feel to see them there, knowing that the Carmichaels didn’t even know Ember; but Lucien was now a part of their family, and Ember was a part of his.

Lucien couldn’t imagine what Trace was going through, but it nearly broke him to think about Darcy going through this very same thing all alone.

Trace would survive the loss of Ember. He had friends and family that would help him through it, but why the fuck should he have to? Ember’s dad, Shawn, had finally convinced Trace to go see the baby, and Lucien knew he would never get the sight out of his mind for as long as he lived. He had sweet-talked the nurses into letting him into the NICU with Trace so he could be there for his friend. And seeing Trace holding such a small baby, watching the tears that streamed down his friend’s face as he looked at her, Lucien knew what Trace was thinking as if he were saying it out loud. If Ember died, her baby was all that he would have left of her. It wasn’t fucking right.

Ember had been in the coma for five hours. Except to see his new daughter, Trace never left her side, holding her hand and demanding that she come back to him. Lucien really didn’t want to think about what-if, but they may just have to. He looked over at Trace, who was waiting to see Ember while the nurses were in with her, checking her IVs. He looked lost.

“I’m going to go wait with Trace,” he said to Darcy as he lifted her from his lap, but he stopped in midmotion. “You are in a hospital.”

“And my opinion of them hasn’t improved,” she said sadly. “Should you take him some food? I don’t think he’s eaten anything.”

“Good idea. Could you ask Brandon to bring him a sandwich?”

“I will.”

Lucien pressed his mouth to Darcy’s, and they lingered over the kiss, heartbroken for their friend and grateful for each other. He said nothing when he leaned up against the wall next to Trace. He knew his friend well enough to know that if he needed to talk, he would.

“She looks just like Ember,” Trace said softly.

“She’s beautiful.”

Trace looked over at his friend, and the sight of his despair ripped through Lucien. “I can’t do this without her. Fuck, I was okay before she came into my life. I learned to be alone and then she came pushing her way into my life and, fuck, how do I go back?”

“You don’t. You can’t because, even if we lose Ember, she’s left a piece of herself with you. She’ll always be with you, Trace, and I know it may not be in the way you want and, believe me, I understand, but she will always be with you.”

Trace hung his head and his voice broke when he said, “It’s not enough, not fucking nearly enough.”

Two days after Ember was brought into the ER, Trace stood in the corner of the waiting room with Lucien and Rafe. As Lucien looked at his friend, he knew that he was beginning to give up hope.

How did one plan for that? How did someone pick up the pieces and continue on when a part of them was gone? Chelsea was inconsolable, crying on Seth’s shoulder, not fully understanding why Ember wouldn’t wake up.

What should have been one of the happiest times in all of their lives was some fucked-up nightmare, a nightmare Lucien knew would haunt Trace for the rest of his life.

Trace spoke from his corner, “I was so afraid of this pregnancy, afraid that if something happened to Ember, I would lose my way, fall back into that pit with my demons, but she’s changed me. As hard as it will be, I can live a life without her; I can parent our child alone . . .” There were tears in his eyes when he looked over at Lucien. “I can do it because of her. We’re her legacy, my daughter and me.”

The moment was shattered when an alarm went off down the hall in the direction of Ember’s room. Trace was off the wall and running down the hall and Lucien had just caught up when Dr. Cole turned to Trace, crying.

Trace stumbled, falling into the wall as tears streamed down his cheeks. Anguish filled his expression, the sight so raw and heartbreaking that Lucien didn’t even realize he was crying himself until he couldn’t see the doctor anymore. And then she said, “She’s awake.”

Lucien’s head snapped to Trace who was looking at the doctor, but clearly not hearing her. The doctor smiled wider, “She’s awake and asking for you.”

The doctors cleared the room and, for a few hours, Trace just held Ember’s hand while she went in and out of consciousness. Four hours after she woke, her eyes opened and stayed open. He saw when she focused because a smile touched her lips. If he weren’t sitting, he would have fallen to his knees in gratitude. He pressed his mouth to hers and then he just stared into her big brown eyes.