Beautifully Shattered (The Beautifully Series Book 1) (14 page)

“You couldn’t have
stopped them?”

“Look, I’m sorry. I
thought it would be better if I dragged Logan here with me so it
wouldn’t just be you two and Jax.” He gives me his puppy dog
pouting lips.

I hate how easily it is
for me to sympathize for him. With his pouty lips and sad eyes it’s
hard to stay mad at Connor and he knows it. He uses this look every
chance he gets. Each and every time I fall for it. Even when we were
kids.

I nod so that he knows
I’m no longer mad at him before hugging my brother. Jax steps back
as I move over to him. I sit down, feeling more than awkward. He
doesn’t deserve a hug. He’s the reason why I’m on what can only
be described as the worst date in history.

“Really?” Jax asks
with his arms open.

Who does he think he
is? He’s the one who just stepped back when I went to give him a
hug and now he’s demanding one?

I ignore him. “Bye,”
I say only to my brother and Connor.

Jax surprises me by
sitting back down and telling Kohen, “Sorry for crashing your date.
I had to make sure your intentions were good. I promise we won’t
crash the next one.” I can’t help but notice that there isn’t
an ounce of jealously seeping through his voice. Maybe I imagined the
jealousy earlier? I mask my disappointment with a smile.

“Assuming there’s a
next one,” I accidentally say out loud.

There’s no point in
pretending when there isn’t a spark between us. Kohen was a fun
distraction before the guys showed up, I’ll give him that.

“Oh, there will be,”
Kohen says with a twinkle in his eyes.

Jax turns and gives me
his full attention. “Are you ever going to forgive me?” he asks
sweetly.

So sweetly I almost
break. Key word . . . almost. Then I realize he’s asking about more
than just tonight. Maybe it’s wishful thinking on my part, but I
honestly believe he’s asking if I’ll ever forgive him for not
stepping up. That’s something I can’t forgive. Instead of saying
exactly that, I play along more for the benefit of everyone else.

“That depends . . .
can you honestly tell me that you wouldn’t do this again?”

He doesn’t even seem
a little guilty when he answers, “Nope.”

Fixing my eyes solely
on his, I abandon my mask so he can see I’m talking about more than
tonight. “Then nope, sorry Jax, that’s just something I can’t
forgive. Pretending just doesn’t do it for me.”

Connor attempts to
break the tension bubbling between us. Too bad his joke is told to
deaf ears. The only thing I can hear is my heart beating too rapidly.
Something that happens quite often when I’m near The God.

Connor and Logan linger
around our table, clearly ready to take off, but Jax doesn’t
notice. As much as I know giving into him will make Jax leave, I
can’t. I stand my guard. “How can I possibly forgive something
that you don’t even realize that you’re doing?”

Jax stretches his arm
and drapes it over my shoulder. I notice Kohen tense in my
peripheral. “Stop speaking riddles and tell me what’s wrong.”

I want to scream in
frustration. I want to scream that he’s the problem. I want to
shout that I love him. Instead I say, “Let’s just pretend I said
I forgive you so you’ll leave me to my handsome date.” I give
Kohen the same sweet smile Jax gave me seconds ago.

“Ads—” He starts,
but stops. I would give anything to know what he’s thinking right
now.

Jax pulls me into his
side and kisses the top of my head. My entire body is on fire. All I
want is Jax. Kohen tenses again so I pull away. So not cool to have
another guy kiss me even if it’s as innocent as Jax kissing the top
of my head. Which if I’m being honest with myself, I wish the kiss
was anything but innocent.

“Bye Jax,” I say
breathlessly.

Looking directly at
Kohen he says, “Bye Ads. See you tomorrow night.”

I rub the bridge of my
nose. Only Jax would act like an ass when he crashes my date. Games.
That’s all this is to him. Since the beginning, all I’ve ever
been is a game to him. I finally go out on a date and he crashes it
just because he can. Jax believes he can do whatever he pleases. I
wish I could tell myself that I’m done with him and his games, but
that would be the biggest lie. I doubt I’ll ever give up hope on
us.

“Ignore him,” I
tell Kohen once they leave.

“Well tonight didn’t
go as I expected.”

I force out a laugh,
understatement of the year.

“It was still amazing
though,” Kohen goes on. “I can’t wait to take you out again,
Ads.”

“Adalynn,” I say
automatically.

“I’m sorry, I just
thought since Jax called you Ads and your brother and Connor call you
Addie that you prefer a nickname.”

Why couldn’t I just
keep my mouth shut? “Sorry it’s just . . . just something that
only Jax can call me.” So not true, but I don’t want to dwell on
the fact that the only other person who can call me Ads is dead.

Kohen studies the
dessert menu. “It’s okay, Adalynn,” he says quietly.

He sounds as if I
wounded him. I can’t even pretend to care. Ads is off-limits to
everyone, that will never change. It’s better for him to accept
this now.

“I’m sorry, it’s
something I can’t really explain. You can call me whatever you
want, just not Ads.”

“And will you ever
tell me why? If not, it’s okay.”

For some unknown
reason, I tell him as much of the truth as I can. “There’s stuff
about me that you don’t know, things that are too heavy for a first
date.”

“Heavier than my
mom?”

I can only nod.

“Okay, so Ads is off
the table. Don’t worry I’ll think of a nickname for you that only
I can use.”

“I would like that.”
I lie because I have no idea what to say.

The waitress surprises
Kohen by informing us that the check has already been paid. I would
have been surprised if Logan didn’t pay it, he can’t help
himself. Kohen’s jaw tightens and his gaze becomes hard for a
second before he relaxes and is back to the sweet man he was a second
ago. I ignore that he’s bothered by my brother paying for our meal.
I shake my head. Men. No wonder why us women are the superior sex.

When we get back into
the car, the wine kicks in and I’m struggling to keep my eyes open.
About a block away from the restaurant, Kohen reaches over and start
to run his fingers over my hand.

Suddenly Kohen is
taking my off seatbelt. I realize that we’re back in the parking
garage. Crap, I slept the entire ride home, I’m the world’s worst
date.

“Sorry I didn’t
realize that I was so tired,” I say as Kohen helps me out of the
car.

He brushes the hair
from my face and gives me a quick peck on the lips. “There, all
better.”

All I can do is stare
wide-eyed at him. I can’t believe he just kissed me. I touch my
still, tingling lips. I’ve only ever had Jax’s lips on mine. I
feel as if I betrayed what we had somehow. I follow Kohen to the
elevator banks on the ground floor of the parking lot. When it
arrives, he holds his hand in front of the doors and lets me go in
first. He presses the button for my floor.

Not wanting to do the
awkward goodbye at my door, I stand on my tiptoes, and kiss him on
the cheek. “Thanks for tonight,” I whisper into his ear before
walking out of the elevator and down the hallway to my apartment.

I unlock my door and
throw my clutch at the wall. Tonight didn’t go as planned. At least
Liv will be happy. She’ll be thrilled with all the changes in my
life: the camera, the date, sticking up for myself. That’s
something, I guess. I wish I could at least fake happiness, but my
mood is anything but happy. I feel more disappointed with tonight’s
events. I was sure Jax would be raging in jealousy. I need to stop
expecting too much from him.

I stumble to my
bedroom. Too exhausted to wash my face, I strip out of my clothes and
crawl into bed naked. Curled up in bed, I think about everything that
Kohen said to me. I know it must have taken a lot to open up about
his mom, especially in front of the boys. The trust that he has given
me tonight makes me want to throw up.

I used him to make
someone jealous and he’s genuinely interested in me. I have to be
the worst person in the history of the world.

I wipe my sweaty
forehead before I toss the paper towel in the trashcan. The rich
fragrance of sweets fill the hot air. I love the back room, well
except for tonight, as the air-conditioner stopped working an hour
ago. Thank goodness it was close to closing, or customers would not
have wanted to eat their treats here on this humid June evening.

“Bye guys,” I say
to Sam and Clark before leaving.

“Bye sweetie,” Sam
yells back.

Clark rushes over in
his white apron with the twins’ handprints on it and gives me a
hug. “Those new cupcakes are amazing. And that frosting . . . Mmm,
it’s to die for. One of these days I’m going to force you to show
me your magic.” He squeezes my hand. “Seriously, Addie, you have
a wonderful gift in the kitchen. Sam is adding them to the menu!”

“That’s great!”

His beard tickles my
face as he embraces me. “Bye, dollface,” he says before returning
to the back to finish cleaning.

I hail down a taxi so I
can ambush the guys at Logan’s while they’re working out in his
home gym. My ire rises the longer I sit in the backseat, thinking
about last night’s events.

I pace the lobby as I
wait for the elevator. I won’t be surprised if I leave an
indentation in the hardwood floor from pacing back and forth in the
same spot. I wish that I had restraint over my temper, but there’s
no use. I’m crackling with anger. I’m thankful that all three of
them work out together.

I march into his foyer,
making my presence known when I shout for my brother. I hear him
hastily coming down the stairs. I lean against the wall while I wait
for him.

He holds his hands up
in surrender. “Look, that wasn’t my idea. I didn’t even know
you were going to be there when we left.”

I fold my arms over my
chest. “Really? You expect me to believe that you, my
overprotective brother, who needs help I might add, didn’t know I
was going to be there with Kohen? Oh please, Logan, give me some
credit, this has your name written all over it! I can’t believe
that you would allow Jax to go this far.”

He grins even wider
now. “Come on, Addie, you know I wouldn’t actually crash your
date. I do have limits.”

“Yeah, the only limit
you have is not putting a GPS tracker in me.”

“Only because that
would be illegal.”

I shove him hard but he
doesn’t move so I punch him in the shoulder. “OH MY GOD! You’re
unbelievable! I’m mad at you.”

“Yes, but not for
long, you can never be mad at your favorite brother, remember.” I
hate that he’s right I’m not mad at him anymore. “Honestly,
though, Addie, it wasn’t my idea. Jax said he wanted pizza and was
out the door before I could even finish opening it. The only choice I
had was to follow. Besides, it’s not like I knew you were going to
be there. I was just as surprised as you.”

“You really didn’t
know?” I ask, my temper gone. Well, more on a low simmer until I
find Jax.

“If I knew you were
going to be there with a date, I wouldn’t have gone. I truly do
have limits, not much of them, but I still have them.”

“Right, you draw the
line at tracking devices.”

“Because they’re
illegal,” he says with a chuckle. “This all could have been
avoided if you just told me about the date.”

My anger is nearly
nonexistent until my dear brother opens his fat mouth again. “You
have to admit, it was pretty hilarious that we crashed your date
though.” He actually fucking laughs as if it’s funny. I’m not
laughing. “The way you ‘accidentally’ poured wine all over
Jax.” More snickering. “The kick to the shin was a little much
though, sis.”

And just like that I’m
fuming all over again.

“A little much? A
little much!” I shout. “Do you know how stupid I felt with you
guys there? You’re the one who makes such a big deal about me
‘living my life again’ and when I finally start to, you crash my
fucking date. The first date I’ve had in SIX YEARS LOGAN! SIX
YEARS! Do you even get how monumental this was for me? And you’re
fucking laughing right now?”

Logan attempts to rein
himself in by biting his cheek to not make it obvious. He’s used to
my tantrums by now, but still. This is not a laughing matter.
Granted, it wasn’t his idea to crash my date, but he could have
insisted on leaving once he realized what Jax’s master plan was.

I snap my mouth shut.
I’m lashing out at the wrong person. My brother doesn’t deserve
my wrath. I should be upset that they crashed my date, but I’m more
upset that my plan didn’t work. I wanted Jax to be seething in
jealousy and he couldn’t even give me that. No, that jerk was just
messing with my head for his own amusement. Why did I have to fall
for The God?

Out in the corridor,
the elevator doors slide open. Perfect timing.

When Connor comes into
view, I storm up to him, push him as hard as I can in his chest and
snap, “YOU!”

Connor eyes widen and
he swallows loudly. “Yeah, I kind of deserve that.”

I throw up my hands in
frustration. “I don’t understand how you could possibly think it
would be okay to crash my date . . . a date you talked me into.”

“You talked her into
going?” Jax’s demanding tone bounces off the walls as he comes to
a stop next to Connor.

I glare at the man that
used to tell me all of his secrets. Jax shakes his head and continues
to stroll into the in-home gym.

“Really? You think
you can just walk away from me after last night?” I demand as I
follow him.

He ignores me as he
sets down his bag by the door. I can’t help but stare as he slides
off his shirt and begins to stretch. If it’s a tactic to distract
me, it almost works. The only reason it doesn’t is because I know
we won’t be alone for long. I can’t allow Logan to notice
anything between Jax and I. Jax is already punching the bag without
his hands wrapped when Connor and Logan come in.