Beautifully Shattered (The Beautifully Series Book 1) (5 page)

We’re finally able to
leave. As the exit comes into view, I exhale in relief. My entire
body is strung so tightly, I’m positive that I’ll snap if I’m
forced to stay a second longer. It’s taking everything in me to be
appreciative, but a small part of me is still pissed that Logan made
me come here, today of all days.

Kohen strolls around
the corner with a purpose. Hoping to evade his attention, I inspect
my nearly perfect cuticles as he comes closer. When the wheelchair
stops moving, I’m forced to lift my head to see Kohen kneeling in
front of me.

He hands me a card. “My
personal number is on the back. When you feel up for it, I would love
to take you out.” Without waiting for a response, he kisses my hand
and then he’s gone.

My face flushes beet
red. That was hands-down the most mortifying thing to happen since we
arrived at the hospital. I can’t believe he just asked me out in
front of everyone. I turn slightly to see Jax rubbing his
clean-shaven chin in thought. Not the envious reaction I was hoping
for. Logan helps me into his suit jacket before we leave the
hospital.

When we reach the
parking lot, I wrinkle my nose as we pass a couple leaning against
the back of their car, smoking. I hate the smell of cigarettes. I
turn my head and see Jax glaring at them. Of course he would have a
reaction to them and not to Kohen asking me out.
We’re
nothing to each other anymore. I’m just his best friend’s little
sister.

I start to drift off
before Logan drives out of the parking lot. I’m vaguely aware of
Jax stirring in the middle seat. He leans my head on his shoulder and
starts to draw patterns onto my arm. With the rhythmic movements of
the car and the calm feeling Jax brings me, I’m asleep within
seconds.

I have a momentary
panic attack when I feel someone wrap their arms around me, but once
the feel of Jax’s body against mine sinks in, I relax and snuggle
as close to him as possible. All too soon we’re in my apartment and
Jax carries me into my bedroom. I’m acutely aware of Logan watching
us as Jax tucks me in. Once Jax ensures that I’m comfortable, not
that he asked me, he promptly exits my room, leaving Logan and me
alone.

“I have bad news,
Addie.” Logan sits on the edge of my bed, careful to avoid my
ankle. He runs a hand over his buzzed-cut brown hair. “Connor and I
need to take the plane tonight for a meeting in San Francisco.”

It always amazes me how
well my brother is doing. He and his best friends own Trinity
together. And their company has its own plane. Just like Connor’s
parents, ours would be proud of all three of them. They’ve
dominated the business world, the tech world, and the sports world
all at the same time. They combined their strengths and made a
lucrative marketing company.

“I have to leave so
Jax is going to stay here and watch out for you until I get back in
two days.”

Ah, now the pieces of
the puzzle are all here. I’m being put under house arrest with Jax
as my warden. Wonderful. You would think for someone about to turn
twenty-eight, Logan would be more lenient towards his younger sister,
but you’d be wrong.

Jax decides to enter
right as I’m about to protest. Which is good because I know it
would be pointless. Logan wouldn’t leave me alone, especially after
an Emergency Room visit. Turning away from Jax, I give my brother the
biggest smile I can manage. I’m vaguely aware of Jax making more
noise then he should, but I solely focus my attention on my brother.

“Make sure to say hi
to Connor’s parents for me.” I know that they will get together
since Connor’s adoptive parents now reside in the bay area. “I’ll
be fine. Call me when you land.”

“Always do.”

Our eyes are drawn
towards Jax when he lets something drop to the floor next to my bed.
I can’t even hide my irritation when I see the air-mattress. Jax is
just as bad as my brother. The drugs they gave me are kicking in and
it’s becoming harder to fight off sleep.

For some reason, my
witty personality seeps through my hard exterior. I’m usually
closed off, barely muttering a “no” when I’m upset. Well, until
recently. I’ve been standing up for myself a lot more.

“Ummm no. There’s a
perfectly usable bed in the guest-room with your name on it, Jax.”
I hope he doesn’t listen to me. Even though I can’t have him, his
presence brings me comfort.

In his most mocking
voice Jax says, “This is my new bed.” He points down at the air
mattress. “Oh, and I sleep naked.”

I have to look away
from Jax as I remember a time when his sweaty, naked body was gliding
over mine as he slid inside me. I don’t want Logan to suddenly ask
questions.

“Leave her alone. I
swear if I find out that you slept naked in the same room as my
sister, I will cut off the favorite part of your anatomy.”

Jax is smart enough not
to say anything. A few minutes later, Logan leaves after I promise
that I’ll call him immediately if I need anything. I’m so
exhausted that I don’t have the energy to watch Jax walk out of my
in-suite bathroom wearing only red boxer briefs.

I wake up, distraught
and in a lot of pain. I regret ever opening my eyes this morning. My
head feels like I decided to play chicken with a bus and lost,
severely. Once my equilibrium returns, I manage to lean against my
pillows. I attempt to brush my hair in a somewhat presentable style
with my fingers.

I can’t help wanting
to look good for Jax. I shake my head, knowing that nothing will ever
happen between us. That notion floated away a long time ago. Giving
up, I attempt to climb out of bed.

When I can finally
manage to stagger to my feet, I notice that Jax spread my robe out on
the duvet. He was even kind enough to move the blow-up mattress
against the far wall so I wouldn’t have to maneuver around it with
my crutches. That would just be asking for trouble. After I knot the
silk sash to my robe in place, I hobble on crutches to the bathroom
to freshen up before I go search for him.

Peering into the
mirror, I almost don’t recognize the person staring back. I’m
facing a complete stranger. I have a nasty bruise turning a wonderful
shade of purple on my forehead and there aren’t enough brushes in
the world to calm my hair. But what’s different is my eyes. Instead
of being vacant, a look that I have grown accustomed to, there is a
fire in them for the first time in six years. I look like I’m
finally alive again. Just as quickly, the fire is gone.

I can’t shake the
feeling that it’s time for me to move forward. I need to make a
decision. I need to either start living, or I need to give up . . .
for good. As I leave my bedroom I realize that I don’t have a
choice to make. I already made it. I made it a year after the
accident when I decided to seek help. I want to live . . . I just
don’t know how.

I make my way to the living room
before I call out for Jax. It’s hard to ignore the disappointment
that immediately follows the silence. I limp my way to the kitchen,
hating the crutches. I fight the smile that wants to appear when I
see a note from Jax in his neat handwriting.

Had to run out to buy you a new phone since you decided to take your
poor, helpless phone down with you. I’ll bring home breakfast so
don’t eat. I already called the bakery and explained why you won’t
be in for the rest of the weekend so don’t bother getting dressed
for work. Take the medicine I left out for you with a glass of milk

-Jax

Call Logan.

Rolling my eyes, I do
as I’m told. I’m annoyed that he placed all of my medicine on the
counter for me, even going as far as grabbing a glass, as if I don’t
know where I them. Men. Shaking my head, I open the fridge. After I
take the medicine, I snag my house phone and wobble to the living
room. I collapse onto the couch as gracefully as I can manage with a
sprained ankle.

While waiting for him
to answer, I wonder if Logan will make Jax stay the entire time he’s
away. Logan picks up on the third ring, and by his worried greeting,
I have my answer to my unasked question. Yes, Jax will be my new
shadow until Logan returns. Hey, things could be worse. I could be
locked up in a basement with a serial killer. Okay, so it’s not
that bad, but I would enjoy myself a lot more if Jax would stop
playing with my emotions.

“How are you feeling?
I know you didn’t sleep that good.”

“How do you know how
I slept? I swear if you put cameras in my room last night I’m going
to kill you. That’s taking overprotective brother syndrome to a
whole new level, even for you.”

“HA HA HA, Addie. No,
I didn’t need to put a camera in. I had the next best thing . . .
an actual person to watch over you for me. You kept him up all
night.”

My brother isn’t as
funny he thinks he is.

“How could I have
possibly kept Jax up all night? I was out in seconds once the pain
meds kicked in.”

“You were tossing and
turning all night while sleep-talking.”

And just like that, all
of the air leaves me. There are too many horrible possibilities of
what I could have said last night. I hope it wasn’t anything about
my unrequited love. Crap, suddenly I don’t want Jax to come home.

“Everything you said
was incoherent, but you were talking gibberish all night and kept Jax
up. So I would be a lot nicer to him than you’re being to me.”

“I’m always nice to
Jax.” Deciding to change the subject I ask, “So when are you
going to take over babysitting duty?”

Logan hesitates before
answering. Not good.

“We won’t be back
until Saturday night now. Take it easy and try to listen to Jax.”
Pausing, he says something to Connor that I can’t hear and then I
have his full attention again. “I just need to know you’re safe.”

It’s hard to hide my
irritation. I think it’s time for my brother to treat me like the
adult I am. “Fine, I’ll play nice since you gave me soooo many
options.”

“Great, Addie. I knew
you would see it my way. Listen, I have to go. I love you.”

“Love you too,” I
say before he hangs up.

I hate that they all
treat me like I’m still five and that I can’t take care of
myself. All three of them need to realize that I’m twenty-four. Jax
is the last person that I need to take care of me.

After discarding the
phone on the coffee table, I will myself to relax. My mind drifts
over last night’s events and as much as I want to, I can’t
dismiss the feeling that I know Kohen. There’s something about him
that’s telling me that I know him from a long time ago. That
thought is beyond idiotic since I met him for the first time when he
rescued me at the gym. He didn’t even know my name until I told
him. I chalk it up as seeing him in the building before in passing.

I don’t know why I
can’t stop thinking about him. It’s not like we’ll end up
dating. I never date. My last date was six years ago with Jax. For a
moment I wonder what it would be like to date someone in the open,
not having to keep everything a secret; every caress, every smile,
every kiss. All too quickly, the image evaporates. Kohen seems like a
great guy, too good of a guy for someone like me. The guilt of what
I’ve done weighs heavily on my shoulders, crippling me. He deserves
someone who isn’t haunted by the past.

Even though I keep
telling myself that it’s pointless to continue thinking about him,
I can’t help smiling whenever I picture his face. As much as I wish
I could just ignore this foreign attraction, that might be hard since
we live in the same building. I know I need to think of how to go
about the whole Kohen thing, but by the time I come up with a game
plan, my medicine has kicked in. My last thought before sleep pulls
me under is Jax’s strong arms around me.

The aroma of bacon
wakes me. Someone’s fingers brush my hair out of my face. I open my
eyes. After rubbing the sleep out of them, I’m able to focus on the
second best sight in the entire world.

Food.

Jax crouches beside me
with a platter of food and orange juice on the table. My mouth
instantly fills with saliva as I take in all of my favorite breakfast
foods in front of me. My stomach growls so loudly I’m sure people
in Brooklyn can hear it as clearly as if they were in my living room.

He chuckles as he
passes me a glass of orange juice. I give him a small smile when I
notice the straw. For some unknown reason I’ve always hated
drinking orange juice without a straw. As much as I want to comment
on the fact that Jax is the only person that seems to remember my
quirks, I don’t. I know it will only cause an awkward
silence. Some things are better left unsaid when it comes to us.

He hands me my platter
full of food; eggs, hash-browns, bacon, a bowl of freshly cut fruit,
and a stack of pancakes, along with my new iPhone.

“Thanks!” I notice
that he somehow managed to back up my phone so all my music is
already on it.