Beautifully Shattered (The Beautifully Series Book 1) (28 page)

Nope. That’s gonna be
a hard no!

I slam the door and
lock it.

Too stunned to do
anything else, I gape at the closed door.
Please
let this be a dream.
I contemplate opening it again, but I
quickly dismiss that notion. As much as I want to see him, I so do
not need his games. I’m an emotional wreck as it is. I pace my
bedroom with the thump of him knocking on the door as a constant
soundtrack.

I’m thinking I
handled that like a grown-up. Didn’t want to deal with him, no big
deal, just slam the door in his face before he can say anything.
Yeah, real grown-up.

I climb back into bed,
hating that I’ll have to deal with him tomorrow at the party. Ugh.
I throw the pillow over my head to drown out his constant banging. I
don’t care if he knocks all night, I will not open that door.

After another minute or
two, blissful silence fills the apartment. Apparently my “grown-up”
tactics do work. Go me! I smile then drop the pillow to the other
side of the bed, ready to finally go to sleep. My smile disappears as
quickly as it appeared when I feel the bed dip.

FUCK!

He’s here.

“It’s nice to see
you too, Ads,” he says with a chuckle. “Oh, and thanks for the
warm welcome.”

My body stiffens and I
make a show of moving as far away from him as possible. Half of me is
leaning off the bed; one sudden movement and I’ll be on the floor.
Not a good idea for an accident-prone person like me. I scoot a
little closer to the middle so I don’t tempt fate.

Hatred laces my voice.
“Why didn’t you just leave? You didn’t catch the fact that when
someone slams the door in your face, they don’t want to see you?”

I sit up in bed and
glare at him. I can’t believe after all this time he is here, as if
he hadn’t slept with me and acted like I didn’t exist. I hate
that I’m completely and utterly aware of him. I hate that he smells
mouth-watering, how sexy his stubble looks from not shaving in a few
days, and how striking his green eyes are as they stare back at me.

“How did you even get
in here? I don’t want you here! LEAVE!”

I push him as I jump
out of bed. He holds his hands up in surrender.

“Ads, just listen,
okay? I didn’t come here to fight.” I raise an eyebrow at him and
he runs his hand over his face. “Tomorrow is Logan’s party. I’m
here for that, to go over our plans.”

He’s here because of
my brother, not because he wants to fix us. Of course. I don’t even
know what I expected but it wasn’t that. Why couldn’t he have
just slapped me? It would have hurt less. In bitch mode, I cross my
arms over my chest, and I smile on the inside when he glances down at
the cleavage exposed in my sheer white tank.

“The plans are
exactly the same since the day we made them. Since you’ve ignored
all of my calls, I assumed that you didn’t intend on helping. Kohen
can step in on your part, which he will do happily.”

His fist clench
together at his sides. Good. I move closer to him so there is only an
inch between us. I can feel the heat rolling off his body. I have to
control myself not to react so I don’t end up throwing myself at
him.

Smiling sweetly up at
him I ask, “Oh, and Jax?”

He blinks a few times
as if coming out of a dream. “Yes?”

“Last time I checked,
the name on my birth certificate says Adalynn not Ads. Try to
remember that for the next time you decide to talk to me.”

Shoving past him, I
leave my bedroom and march all the way to my front door. I wait about
twenty seconds until I hear him finally starting to follow me. When
he gets close, I open the door and maneuver out of his way so he
doesn’t brush against me as he passes the threshold.

He looks as if someone
just ripped out his heart and I’m glad. I will not be the only one
hurting over his actions. He was the one who decided to leave me, to
ignore me, after sleeping with me again. I’m done. I want him to
know how pissed off I am. I will not let him just walk into my life
with his sexy emerald eyes. That won’t work this time. I won’t be
his doormat.

Jax pulls on fohawk,
and begins to speak, but I cut him off, ignoring that he just used
his nickname for me. “There’s nothing more to say. The plans are
the same and Kohen will help me.”

I stop myself from
closing the door. My eyes seek his. I wish that I had more
self-control and can turn away from his eyes. His visible pain
matches mine. I remind myself that this is his doing.

“I don’t need you
anymore Jax,” I whisper.

I shut the door and
lock it before he can mutter anything else. I sink to the floor,
wondering if I just made the biggest mistake of my life. I know that
I did the right thing, but at the same time I wish that I was a
little nicer. He could have wanted to fix everything. Ugh! No, I will
not do the whole “what if” game. I do enough of that without
adding the Jax drama to it. If he was here for anything besides my
brother’s party plans, then he would have said something. God! That
is all I am to him, his best friend’s little sister.

I just wanted to be
someone that he could love, I wanted him to want me as much as I want
him. I don’t even think we can get past this and become friends
again. Then again, he’s probably only been my “friend” because
of my brother.

Pulling myself off the
floor, I head back to my room with shaking legs.

After applying minimal
make-up, I curl my hair and walk over to my closet. I select the
sleeveless ocean blue Valentino lace dress, my studded nude Saint
Laurent heels, and my matching nude Michael Kors clutch.

As I grab Logan’s
freshly wrapped present someone knocks on my door. With heavy
footsteps, I approach it, I remind myself not to make this awkward.
It’s just Jax. No big deal.
Only one of the many lies I’ll tell myself to get
through today.

I awkwardly hold the
door open for him, but don’t move out of his way as I stare at The
God. Only he can make a simple pair of dark blue jeans and a navy
long-sleeve polo with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, displaying
his tattooed arms, look sinfully delicious. My eyes travel the length
of his body twice.

My tongue darts out to
moisten my suddenly dry lips when my gaze meets his. He is so
handsome I forget to breathe. He shouldn’t be be this sexy; it
messes with my emotions. I want to wrap my arms around him, bury my
nose into his chest, and relax into the man that reminds me of home.

“Breathe,
Ads
,
I’m not going anywhere,” Jax says.

And just like that, my
emotions are back in check. Maybe I should high-five him for helping
me out? No, that would be awkward because then I would have to
explain why. I go for option two. I attempt to shut the door, but his
foot stops it from closing.

“I don’t have time
to deal with your crap today,” I tell him once he comes inside.

Jax jaw tightens, a
clear sign that he’s uncomfortable. He does realize that he doesn’t
need to be here, right? Before I can voice this, Jax surprises me by
closing the distance and wrapping me into a bear hug. I breathe in
his all too familiar scent, welcoming the brief reprieve his presence
brings me. Stepping out of his hug, he keeps me at arm’s lengths.
How fitting.

“You look beautiful,
Ads
.”

I don’t miss how he
makes a point to enunciate Ads again. I take a step back. His arms
fall to his side. “Shut up and let’s gets this over with
already.”

I return to the living
room to retrieve everything I need.

“Someone’s in a
chipper mood today,” he says from behind me.

I hand him the presents
and glare at him. “That could be because someone decided to break
into my place last night. Oh, and that same someone scared the crap
out of me and I shattered the screen on my phone!”

Jax’s smile widens as
if he’s proud of himself.
It’s
not nice to hit. It’s not nice to hit.

“I don’t know who
you’re trying to fool. We both know you attempted to walk and text
at the same time and it fell.”

He maneuvers away to
avoid getting punched. Smart man.

“You’re an ass.”

He laughs. When we’re in the
elevator, he pats my head as if I’m a child. I remind myself to
keep my hands to myself and instead focus on texting Kohen.

Me:
Hey I won’t be needing your help after all. Thanks
though, I’ll see you in a few hours. . . I’ll be the one in the
dress that matches your eyes.

I don’t wait for a
reply, rather I slip my phone into my clutch and watch the elevator
descend slowly to the lobby.

“I love you too,
Ads,” he says as he strides out of the elevator.

I’m glad I’m behind
him so he can’t see that my steps falter.

Almost two hours later,
we finally have everything set up. We even had time to deliver
everything to Connor’s for the “after party” that will be just
the four of us. It’s been a tradition for the guys since they were
kids and I started crashing them after the accident. By crashing, I
mean dragged, of course, but I’ve been going willingly after the
first two years. The only reason why I didn’t want to go in the
first place is because I thought I was intruding on a guys’ night
type of thing.

As guest filter in, I
text Connor asking their e.t.a. I want to make sure that we’re all
ready when he arrives with Logan. Jax and I worked too hard for the
surprise to be ruined.

I find Jax talking up a
leggy blonde, big surprise there. I tap his shoulder a little harder
than necessary. “Connor said they’ll be here in twenty, but I can
see you’re busy so I’ll let everyone know.”

I lean to the side and
smile brightly at the blonde. Gosh, she reminds me of the skanks
Connor usually bags. Jax rushes to my side when I start to walk away.

“Don’t be silly,
Ads, we’re in this together,” he says way too loudly, linking our
arms together as if we’re best friends.

Once we’re away from
Jax’s blonde, I pull my arm roughly out of his. “Um no, that’s
not going to work for me. I’m not here to be your wing woman.”

He laughs. Wrong move,
Jaxon. I yank his face down by his chin so he’s forced to look at
me.

“I’m not here to
help you dodge unwelcome sluts! Connor will be more than happy to
fill that role for you.” I pause, not wanting to make a scene. I
stand up on my tiptoes so I can whisper into his ear. “We’re not
friends anymore. You’ve made that abundantly clear. I’m only
putting up with you because of my brother.”

Well, there goes all
pleasantries. I didn’t even know I was going to say all that. I
opened my mouth and the words spilled out, my tone sounding more
pissed with each syllable. Jax hisses in a breath as if in pain. I
grip his massive bicep with my dainty hand, because I’m not done.
I’m going to get all of this out now.

“If you want to go
back to being friends, you can let me know. But until then, I’m
only tolerating you because of Logan. That’s it. I will not be your
doormat anymore. I will not let you pretend to be here for me when we
both know you’ll leave again once the condom is off.”

I step back, glad that
I finally told him that it’s not okay to treat me that way. I’m
surprised how true every word is. I march to the opposite side of the
room without waiting for a response.

The surprise goes
flawlessly. I even surprised Logan and Connor by capturing the whole
thing. Logan’s delight when he saw the camera around my neck made
me smile shyly at him. It’s wonderful moments like when I’m
taking pictures of everyone having fun that I’m reminded how great
of a friend Jax has been to me.

He pushes me to do
things that I would never have been able to do without him. It hurts
that much more since he’s been avoiding me all night. I know what I
said was harsh, but it was the truth and I don’t regret it. I just
wish life were like a movie or a book. He would whisk me away to
proclaim his unbreakable love. Or at least say he’s sorry and that
he wants to still be in my life. Of course neither will happen, life
isn’t that simple, or that cheesy.

Before my mind can
carry on with more unrealistic expectations, Kohen pulls me into his
side. I snuggle into him and kiss his neck. Without turning around, I
sense Jax scowling at us. I can feel his eyes on me, like I’ve been
able to all night. I rub my hand down Kohen’s chest and make a show
of slipping it into his back pocket. Pleased with my affection, Kohen
kisses me square on the lips. Even the feel of his lips on mine isn’t
enough of a distraction from Jax’s eyes boring into my back.

As Kohen helps Connor
load the presents into the car, Jax joins them. Tension between him
and Kohen has escalated throughout the party. I stand wide-eyed as
Jax practically shoves a heavy present into Kohen’s stomach. Kohen
grunts, but surprises me by setting it calmly into the trunk. Still
his back stiffens, all the muscles tight, anger radiating off him in
waves. Jax’s fist tighten at his sides, he makes a move to step
closer but halts when Connor places his hand on his shoulder. Connor
whispers to him, and then those green eyes are trained on me.