Beauty From Love (14 page)

“It is, but I don’t care. It was worth the risk because I had to see you,” she defends.

“I’m married now.”

It’s clear this is another one of the twelve and I’m so fucking sick of this. It’s ridiculous. This one is ruining our potential baby moment—what could be one of the most epic moments of our lives.

I walk into the living room and Miss Number X is all dolled up for my husband. I’m immediately pissed off. She’s beautiful—I’ll give her that—but she’s not young. She totally fits his type before me.

I could play coy. I could play nice. But what I feel like playing is neither. “I’d like you to leave now.”

“I can do that, but there’s one thing first.” She places a photograph on the table next to our breakfast. “This is my two-year-old son. He belongs to you and you’re going to start supporting him. You can either voluntarily take a paternity test or you can be ordered. The choice is yours.”

I can tell she enjoyed saying that, and I’m sick. I swallow back the puke rising in my throat. I won’t do it in front of her.

She walks toward the door and calls out over her shoulder, “My number is on the back of the photograph. I look forward to hearing from you, Jack.”

I go through a series of emotions all at once but none are more prevalent than the hurt I feel in my heart.

Jack Henry sits in the chair and puts his head in his hands. “I’m assuming there’s a possibility this child could be yours since you aren’t trying to convince me otherwise.”

“I was with her for a few weeks but I don’t remember when. I’d have to do some thinking on it.”

“You’ll have to do some thinking on it?” I feel the tears coming. “Well, I don’t have thinking to do about this shit. I can’t take it anymore.”

“Don’t say that, L.”

I walk to the bed where my clothes are and strip off the robe so I can dress and get the fuck out of here. “You don’t understand what this is like, how humiliating it is for me every time a new one pops into our life. They chip away a part of me each time I’m confronted by another one. I thought I was strong enough to handle it, but I’m not.”

I’m sitting on the bed dressed and putting my shoes on when Jack Henry drops to his knees in front of me. “Don’t leave me, L.”

“I can’t stay.”

“We need to talk about this.”

Tears stream down my face. “Another woman may have had your baby. Not me, your wife.” I place my hand over my chest. “And it breaks my heart because I wanted to be the one—the only one—to give you babies.” I look into his eyes. “Infinity.”

He immediately recognizes our code word. He steps out of my way because he knows the best thing he can do at this point is let me go.

Un-fucking-believable! I get my ass out of one shitstorm only to be sucked into another.

I look at the child in the photograph. He’s blond with blue, maybe green eyes. Nothing about him resembles me. I took biology and briefly studied basic genetics so I know he doesn’t have to look like me to be mine, but it seems there would be some kind of semblance.

Although Evan and I are different, we both look like Dad and all the other McLachlans. Evan’s three kids look like him in one way or another, especially his son, but is it fair to make a comparison?

I look at the picture and feel no connection to this boy. Shouldn’t my heart be softened or filled with some kind of excitement about finding out I may have a son? It’s not. I’m mad as hell—not at this child, but at myself. How could I fuck things up like this with my carelessness? L and I were about to have it all and something I did three years ago has shot all of that to hell.

My gut tells me this isn’t my kid, but there’s only one way to find out. I flip the picture over and immediately recognize the name. Jenna Rosenthal. She didn’t even give me an alias when we had our short relationship a few years back.

I call the number and she immediately answers. “That didn’t take long. I knew it wouldn’t, so I already have the kit.”

“No. I want to speak with my lawyer and have him recommend a reputable doctor to do the test.” We’re doing this by the book. No way she’s hoodooing me with false results. I’m sure that kind of shit happens all the time to dumb fuckers, but I’m no sucker. “I’ll take the first available appointment because I want this done as soon as possible.”

“I’m sure you do want it done and over but it doesn’t end with the test. Ashton is yours and I’m going to make sure you take care of him.”

I can’t see myself with a son named Ashton. It doesn’t feel right. “We’ll begin with the paternity test. Prove he’s mine and I’ll take care of him, but let’s get one thing straight. Never be under the impression that anything will happen between us. I’m married.”

“Judging by the look on your wife’s face, you may not be for long.” I can tell she took great pleasure in saying that.

“Not your business.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. Ashton is about to become a huge part of your world—and I’m his mother—so that means I’ll be in your face whenever I feel like it. Every part of your life will be my business, beginning with your home life.”

I’m not fighting with this woman about a child who may or may not be mine. “My assistant will set everything up and will phone you with the appointment date and time.” I end the call, not giving her time to argue further.

I need to go to Laurelyn. I don’t know what I’ll say but I have to see her. And I can’t go smelling like sour mash whiskey.

I go into the bathroom to shower and see L’s pregnancy test lying on the counter. We agreed we were going to look at the results together but Jenna Rosenthal ruined that.

So what do I do? We wanted to find out together. It doesn’t feel right to do it without her. Nothing about this situation is right. L should be here with me and we should be doing one of two things: celebrating the new life we’ve created or making a game plan on how we’re going to make our baby happen. But we’re doing neither because of me and my fucked-up past. If he turns out to be my kid, he was conceived long before I met Laurelyn. Can she hold that against me? She’s not here, so I’m beginning to think she can, and will.

I debate looking at the test, but not for long. I want to know if my wife is pregnant. Everyone knows two lines means pregnant. One line means not pregnant but I want to be sure, so I get the box out of the trash and verify what I’m seeing.

Two lines. Laurelyn is pregnant. “We did it, baby.”

I once told Laurelyn she is the only angel in my life. Now I’ll have two.

I go into the house and straight to the shower. I turn the water to full hot but I can’t feel the heat beating down against my skin. I’m cold—inside and out.

How did my life turn to this overnight? Jack Henry and I had everything. We were on top of the world one minute and cast into hell the next. I know I need time to absorb this shock, but I’m not sure I’ll get over this one, especially if he’s had a baby with another woman.

It all happened so fast but that’s generally how a kick to the gut feels. I was so giddy to read that fucking pee stick with him but instead I find out he had a baby with one of the twelve. Maybe.

“Laurie?” I’m startled when I hear Addison’s voice. I forgot she stayed last night.

“Yeah, it’s me. I’m alone. I left Jack Henry at the hotel. Addie, something bad happened this morning. I mean, really bad.” I want to throw up just thinking about saying the words.
Another woman had my husband’s baby.
I’m not sure I can force that to roll from my tongue.

“Laurie, I’m bleeding.” I wipe the water from my eyes and open the shower door. “How much?” She doesn’t have to tell me. I can see the stream running down her legs.

“It’s a lot.”

I attempt to appear calm. “It’s okay. Go lie down on my bed and I’ll get dressed.”

I’m trembling as I dry off and pull on clothes. I tie my wet hair into a bun. “Hey, girl, how you doing in there?”

“Not good. I can feel blood gushing when I move.”

“Then stay really still. I’m almost ready.” I put my shoes on and go into the bedroom, following the trail of blood on the floor. Holy shit. My bedroom looks like a crime scene.

“I’m sorry, Laurie,” Addison cries when she sees the look on my face. “I think I’ve ruined your bedding.”

“No worries about the linens.” She needs a pad—a huge one—but I only have small pantyliners. “You can’t go to the hospital in this so hold up. I’m going to grab you something to put on.” I fetch a pair of Jack Henry’s sleep pants and a towel from the bathroom. “Take your panties off and put this between your legs.” I spread his pants on the floor for her to step into. “Foot in. Foot in.” I pull them up and pull the tie so they fit her snuggly in the waist. “Can you walk?”

“Yeah, but I think blood is gonna gush out with every step I take.”

“It’s okay.” But is it? I’m scared shitless. I’ve never seen so much blood.

We begin the walk from my bedroom to the car. It isn’t a long distance but I swear it’s never felt so far.

She’s crying. “I’m losing this baby, Laurie.”

“You don’t know that for sure.” I want to be reassuring but she’s probably right. I don’t know how she could bleed that much and not be having a miscarriage.

“I still haven’t told Zac. I guess that won’t be a problem now.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“I’m being realistic,” she argues.

“Mothers are optimists, not realists.”

We get into my SUV and I’m driving much faster than I should. “I need them to tell me everything is okay because I really want this baby, Laurie. Even if Zac doesn’t. I’ve already decided I’m keeping it and raising it alone if I have to.”

I reach for her hand and give it a squeeze. “Pray, Addie. Ask God to protect your baby.”

“You know I don’t do that.” Like right now is the time to be stubborn and think you don’t need the help of a higher power.

“Well, maybe you should.”

Addison is taken into the emergency room and they begin her assessment quickly since anyone could see that she’s bleeding way too much. “Any idea when your last period was, Miss Donavon?”

“The last normal one was on October seventeenth. I spotted in November but I don’t know if it qualifies as a period.”

The woman types the date into the ultrasound machine. “Okay. We’ll use the one in October since November doesn’t sound like a period. That gives you a due date of July twenty-fourth, which makes you … fifteen weeks. Looks like you probably conceived on or around October thirty-first.” The woman grins. “I guess you had a fun Halloween.”

“Yeah, it was a good one.”

“Addison! You didn’t tell me you were so far along. You should’ve already seen a doctor.” How could she be so irresponsible?

“I didn’t know I was that pregnant. I thought I was two, maybe going on three months at the most since I spotted in November.”

“You’re almost four months. Shit, it’s almost half over.”

“Let’s do a scan and see what’s going on here.” The woman squeezes a bottle and clear jelly squirts onto Addison’s stomach. She places a probe in the wetness and makes swirling motions, spreading it across her belly. All of us are silent, staring intently at the screen. The difference is she knows what she’s looking at. Addison and I have no idea.

She points at a white flashing on the screen. “This is your baby’s heartbeat. Can you see it?”

“I do.” She stares at the screen, tears streaming down her face. “I haven’t lost my baby?”

“He or she is hanging in there. I think I see what’s causing all this bleeding but I need some better scans for the radiologist to read. Take a breath and relax while I get the pictures I need.”

We stare at the screen because it’s so amazing. “Omigod, Addie. Look. It already has arms and legs and I can see them moving.”

“I prayed to God, Laurie. I begged Him to not take my baby and He didn’t.” Addison squeezes my hand. “Will you call Zac and ask him to come to the hospital? He should be here with me.”

I hate that it took something so catastrophic to bring her to her senses, but thank goodness she’s finally going to tell him. “Of course—but what do you want me to say? He’s going to panic when I tell him you’re in the hospital.”

“Tell him I’m fine but that I’m asking for him. I want to be the one to tell him about the baby.”

“I’m on it.” I’ll have to use a public phone since I left mine at home in the mad dash to get here.

Addison is admitted to a room and is all settled when Zac does just as I predict—he barrels into the room panicked, although I’ve assured him she is fine. His eyes grow huge when he sees a very pale Addie in the bed. “What happened to her?”

“Addison wants to be the one to tell you.” I put my hand on her arm. “Addie. Zac’s here.”

She stirs and opens her eyes before a wide smile spreads. “Hey, baby.”

He’s instantly at her side, crouching so he’s face to face with her. “What’s wrong?”

It’s time for me to go. “I’m going to leave so you can talk.”

Neither acknowledge me or my exit; they’re both too terrified, but for completely different reasons.