Because of Kian (17 page)

Okay, maybe I did scream. Because it was really fucking awesome.

The sensation of the
popsicle inside me rocketed through me as his lips, his hot mouth, closed over my clit and sucked hard. The torment of it all, the sharp bite of cold and scorching feel of his tongue built the throbbing ache inside me and I instantly shattered beneath him.

“
Mmm… grape Brynn,” he rumbled as he licked the sticky juices from my skin. “So good.”

He quickly rose above me, pulling his still-sheathed length from his jeans as he jerked my legs even wider apart.
Slowly he began to slide inside me, his hardened heat warming the chilled sensitive skin of my pussy.

“Fuck,” he groaned. “Oh, holy fuck…”

The cold heightened all my senses, and I could feel the ridges of the condom grip and push at my skin, renewing the rippling aftershocks from my release that surged through me. His movements stayed tortuously slow until I had taken him in completely. And after a long hard kiss, he fucked me hard and fast with a brutal punishing force, taking me higher again.

J
ust when I was about to explode around him, he stopped and devoured my lips again. He slowed his pace, barely moving, just the heavy drag of his cock as he filled me and withdrew, so powerful against the slick wetness of my pussy. My hands slid down, reaching towards my aching clit.

“No,” he growled as he pulled
them away, up over my head, capturing them with his long thick fingers. Not allowing me to come. Only allowing me the sensation of his cock inside me. “That’s mine, Brynn. You don’t get to touch it unless I tell you to.” It was sheer torture, but I never wanted it to stop.

“Oh, God… Kian… I need to come
again,” I moaned.

He stopped for a moment, holding me firmly, impaled deep inside me.
The heat of his length stretching me, throbbing and burning.

“Not yet, you naughty girl.
It’s not time for that yet. I want to play with you for a while first.” He kissed me hard, a bruising kiss that inflamed me even more, and then rose above me again as his length pushed deep inside me. I struggled against his grip on my wrists, writhing and twisting my pelvis to try and feel his cock drag on my clit. Anything. I was so high strung that a strong breath would have shattered me.

Then Kian pushed my thighs up to my chest and pushed his body down on top of me. I could barely breathe, all but folded in half, but I didn’t care as he began to piston in and out of me with fast, strong strokes. In seconds, I hit my limit and screamed with my release
, tears rolling down my cheeks.

Kian’s hand gripped my jaw, roughly lifting my chin to face him.
“Look at me, baby,” he growled. “I want to watch you detonate around me. I want to know it’s me who made you feel that way.”

I complied, watching him
through a wash of tears as he fought to stave off his own release. A pained expression followed by one of phenomenal bliss. My fingertips rose to cradle his cheeks, and I kissed him gently as he shuddered inside me.

Kian

“Shhhh,” I whispered at the mewling sounds that were erupting from her throat. “My pretty little Brynn. My sweet girl.” I kissed her forehead. I kissed her eyelids and tasted the salty tinge of tears.

Fuck, I almost felt like crying myself.

This bond was so incredibly powerful, so amazing and life-altering. Every time I touched her, I felt like our souls were connecting, melding together.

Sex between us was ever-changing. Sometimes, it was furious.
A tempest that tore through and left us panting and drained. Sometimes it was slow and sweet, gentle like a soft quiet song and floated through the air. Sometimes, like tonight, it was full of emotion. I could taste her fear on my tongue when it was like this. The energy soaked into my skin, and my own unease fought for control.

I knew, as good as we were together, there was still so much that could tear us apart.

And Brynn did too.

I
pulled her tightly in my arms while she wept, doing my utmost to soothe the pain away.

“
Please,” she whispered against my neck. “Please, Kian.”

“
Please what?” I murmured as my arms tightened around her. “What do you need? Anything, Brynn. I’ll do anything for you.”

“
Please...” she breathed out with a ragged, raspy cry.

Twisting
my weight onto one arm, the fingers of my other hand swept gently across her cheek and tangled into her hair.

“
Open up those pretty eyes and look at me, baby.”

With a shuddering breath,
she did as I asked, locking her watery eyes onto mine.

“
Please...” she quietly sobbed. “Love me...”

Fuck, like she had to ask me to
. I had for so long already.

“
God, Brynn,” I said, my voice thick with emotion. “I do. I do…”

Her
tears still fell as I cradled her beneath me, my lips tenderly caressing her face. Along her brow, the wet trails down her cheeks. Her breathing slowly normalized some, yet she continued to cry. My own eyes stung, my heart ached. I could barely breathe as I murmured to her over and over again.

“
I love you, Brynn. My sweet, irresistible girl. I love you.”

• Bad Seamstress Blues ~ Cinderella
  
• Disappointed ~ Nine Inch Nails
  

Brynn

I had a new client in for a cut and highlight, and I instantly disliked the woman.

First of all, she totally looked down her nose at me when I called her name. Like I was being judged and came up short. Like she was confirming with herself that I was beneath her
.

As I worked, she chatted along, mostly about herself. About how she got the house when she split up with her husband. About how he just didn’t pay enough attention to her. And he wanted
more children, but she wasn’t terribly sure she did.

Because, after all,
she had just invested a great deal of money erasing the stretch marks and getting her body back in shape after the first one. And, besides, he already didn’t pay enough attention to her. Like she really needed to add another person to the family that would distract him.

The more she talked, the more she annoyed me. Every word that came out of her mouth grated on my nerves just a little bit more
.

Before long, she started asking me questions from time to time, interspersed with her monologue of self-love. Questions about how long I’d been in town, where I was from. She hadn’t seen me in the salon before, but she’d been flying to New York so much lately that she’d been getting her cut and color done there. No
time for a trip this week, though, and she simply had to get primped for her date.

Her first since the divorce.

“We actually have been together before. He just pursued me so much, even though I was married. He said he couldn’t help himself. He’s wanted a repeat ever since and has been asking me out for so long, you know. He absolutely adores me. You should see how he watches me…”

I halfway listened to her annoying rambling, feigning interest and giving the appropriate “Oh, yes, of course,” and “That sounds wonderful,” as she rambled on.

“He’s tall and lithe, just built like a God. It’s been so hard to stay away, but it was very important to keep myself proper until my divorce was final, and being branded a lewd woman would have left me with nothing. I had to ensure I’d get my fair share.” She smiled wickedly at me through the reflection in the mirror as I blow-dried her hair. “But I’m so ready to be improper with him now… you see, he’s into rope.”

It took a moment for her words to register. My brow furrowed as I studied her expression.

“Rope?”

“Bondage?
You know…”

Oh my God, this lady was off her nut. Who talks about stuff like this with someone they just met?

“Interesting,” I murmured.

“Have you ever tried it?”

I felt a little bit like a fly stuck in a web, unable to move but wanting to. Sensing that this conversation was a bit on the dangerous side. Not a good danger. Not an oh-my-God-this-is-living danger. A queasy sensation squeezed through my stomach, a tight cramp of nausea.

“Because,” she continued carefully, “it’s wonderful. To be tied up and made love to. And it’s been so long since I’ve had a taste of him.”

“Who?” I whispered. I had forgotten that this all started with her going on about her boy toy. I was off balance and unnerved.

She smiled and lightly laughed, toying with the web, fostering my discomfort. “Well, the man
who teaches judo to my son… Kian Tierney.”

The shock of his name ripped through me. This couldn’t be right. She was lying.

But why would she tell me?

How would she even know to say anything to me at all?

And she knew about the kinbaku.
How the fuck did she know about that
? The only person I’d mentioned that to was Rose. I hadn’t even said anything to Sage.

“He’s so strong, the way he can just pick me up.
And, oh my… so very virile. So good at how he can move, what he can do.” Her expression took on one of pure bliss and her perfectly manicured fingertips clutched at the arms of my salon chair.

I turned my back and set the blow-dryer down, trying to mask my features.
Trying to keep my expression serene. I took a deep breath and steeled myself to finish styling her hair. But hands shook and my chest felt tight.

“Oh, my dear,” she cooed. “You look positively green. Are you feeling alright?”

“I just… I’m suddenly a bit shaky. I can get someone else to finish your styling.”

“Well, this will actually do. I never like how you small-town stylists fix my hair
anyway, so I’ll just take that out of your tip.” She smiled. I nodded dumbly, and pulled the cape from her shoulders before accepting the credit card she held out to me. “Why don’t you just go ring me up, hmm?”

Everything was dreamlike, surreal as I took her card to the receptionist. “Oh,
my gosh, Holly McPherson is slumming at our salon,” Belle murmured with a raised eyebrow as she handed me back the card. “My God, she’s annoying. I often wonder what her ex-husband ever saw in her.”

So that was her name.

Holly. Holly McPherson.

And Kian wanted her.

Again, apparently. He’d had her before.

• My Last Breath ~ Evanescence
  
• Say Something ~ A Great Big World
  
• Hurt ~ Nine Inch Nails
  

Brynn

"
Another shot of tequila, please."

I hadn't
drank in months, not since I’d decided to try and make things work with Evan back in Beavertail. I was normally afraid of losing control, of skewing my judgment more than it already was, that I avoided alcohol. Honestly, I was afraid of it.

But Holly’s words had echoed in my brain all afternoon
.

Built like a God
.

Y
ou should see how he watches me.

My insides were raw with a sharp ache. I had to do something. I didn’t want to feel it anymore.

Sage set the drink before me, looking at me cautiously. “Brynn… are you—”

I tipped the small glass up to my lips.
"Just get me another fucking shot, Sage."

She
studied me with a pained expression for a moment longer, then went back to pour me yet another drink.

As she set
it before me, I tossed it down and that blessed numbness that I craved finally began to seep back in.

Holly
McPherson’s saccharine-sweet smile began to ease from my mind.

Her cutting words about Kian.

Kian.

Can’t… can’t
think about Kian.

“Another shot.”

This time I didn’t even look at Sage. I couldn’t. I could feel the questions emanating out from her, but I couldn’t go there. I knew if I started talking about it, I’d burst into tears.

“Thanks,” I murmured before downing
the tequila quicly. The burn in my throat was scalding, but it soothed the tight pain.

I pushed the glass towards her once again, gesturing for her to refill it. But Sage didn’t move. As I looked up at her, I saw her attention was turned just over my shoulder.
So I turned as well.

Kian was here.

Standing right behind me.

Showtime.

Cautiously, he tilted his head. “Brynn, what’s going on?”

“Why don’t you tell me?” I spat.

“Brynn, baby…”

“Don’t!
Don’t call me baby. Don’t you dare.” I shot off the stool and pushed by him, weaving towards the back door leading to the alley. I could feel his presence behind me, the heavy falls of his feet.

“Brynn
, wait. What the fuck has you so upset? Is it Evan?”

Stepping into the night, I rounded back at him. “No, it isn’t Evan. I haven’t seen that fucker for months. This is about you.”

“You’ve got me at a loss, baby, because I haven’t a clue what has you so riled up.”

“I said,
don’t fucking call me baby!” I shouted and slapped both of my hands hard against his chest trying to shove him away. My rage picked up, fueled by the shots of tequila and the turmoil of my heart. I couldn’t control the words that were coming out of my mouth. I couldn’t control any of it. “Stay the fuck away from me. I should have known.”

“Known what?” Kian asked, obviously exasperated.

“I should have known that this was all a bunch of horseshit. Everything. Everything you’ve said and done. All of it. But heard it from the horse’s mouth today. Clear as a bell. Now I know.”

“What the hell are you going on about?
What horse? What the—”

“
Holly… Holly McPherson.” I ground out at him. “Does that name ring a bell?”

Kian grew wary, and my anger registered a tinge of…
maybe guilt
? “Her kid is in one of my classes…” he admitted, “but she’s—”

“She came to get her hair done. Said she had a big night lined up with her kid’s judo instructor. With you.” His incredulous expression only fueled my ire. “She said your name, Kian. She went on and on about it, how you two had fooled around once a while ago, and you’d been after her for more. How you’ve wanted her back for so long,” I sneered.

“That is complete bullshit, Brynn. I’m not sure what kind of game she’s playing
—”

“
She doesn’t know me from Adam. How would she know to talk to me at all?”

“
Maybe she saw you at the gym. Yes, I know who she is. Yes, I teach her kid judo, and she’s fucking hit on me God-knows-how-many times,” Kian ground out. “But I’ve never once reciprocated. Not. Even. Once. I have no idea—”

“
She has no idea who I am. I’ve been so careful.”

“And why?” Kian asked angrily. “Why are you so careful to keep us under wraps?
Because of Evan? Or is there something else?”

“What? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Baby, you’ve been looking for a way to blow this to hell ever since I first saw you. You’re looking for a way out.”

“How
in the hell can you turn this around on me?” I spat back at him. “How in the fuck is any of this my fault? Do you have the slightest inkling how it felt to have her in my chair, to listen to her go on about how long you’ve been after her? About the ropes?”

“I don’t know what the fuck she’s even talking about,” Kian roared back at me. His temple pulsed with anger
.

I should have been scared. I should have cowered like I always did with Evan. But I was so
fired up that I fiercely stood my ground. The agony made me angry. The anger made me strong.

“How did she know about the ropes
then, Kian? Tell me that. You said you’ve never done that here, not before me. But she knows about it. So either you’re lying, or you’ve done it with her since you started with me.”

Kian shook his head in disbelief.
“Tell me you don’t really think that.”

I stepped back, shaking my head. “I don’t trust you,” I exhaled with a shuddering breath.

“You’re fucking with me, right?” he whispered, appalled. His expression was all at once fierce and aghast. “You don’t trust me? After everything. After Evan and what you’ve told me. About your tears and the release you found in the ropes. You don’t trust me?”

I couldn’t answer him. I could only
shake my head as tears slipped from my eyes.

“Talk to me, Brynn,” he growled.

I whirled around, looking in the lot for my car. I had to get out of here, to get away from this searing ache. I wanted to go home, to lay safe in my bed, to escape this frighteningly painful reality with the darkness of sleep.

“Say something, Brynn.
”

“I can’t… I can’t do this anymore.”

Kian shook his head in defeat. “I give up,” he muttered under his breath.

“Of course you
do...”

Brynn

I’d over-reacted. It was extraordinarily clear as I came down from my fierce anger.

After the shock had worn off, I was able to see that bitch for what she was. It was all bullshit.
Every bit of it. So obviously targeting me because she wanted Kian. I still hadn’t a clue how she knew about me or the ropes, but her words and Kian’s actions, his simple way of being, were completely at odds. Kian was the most trustworthy man I’d ever known aside from my dad. He’d never lied to me. He’d given me a peace I’d never really known.

And that ho-bag Holly had found a way to fuck it up.
Playing on my insecurity. My fear.

I fell for it.
Hook, line, and sinker.

You’re looking for a way out.

Kian was so right. I had been. I had been doing that all along. Because I didn’t deserve his love. I was so incredibly fucked up and would always be timidly watching for things to fall apart. He deserved so much more than me.

He deserved to be happy.