Because This Is Forever (12 page)

He had
her pressed solidly between him and the sink. He sucked and licked at her full
lips, his tongue exploring hers. She tasted of warm honey and he couldn’t get
enough. His heart thudded in his chest as heat and desire pulsed through his
veins. When her tongue brushed against his, he couldn’t stop the low groan that
escaped him. He swallowed her soft moans as she pressed her soft breasts against
him, her thighs molding alongside him. He was beyond aroused now. His shaft was
hard, heavy, and ready to plunge deep inside her.

Nate
tore his lips away from her, trailing them along her jaw, down her neck. She
tilted her head back to give him better access.

“Mia,
baby, I’ve missed you,” he whispered thickly.

Her
fingers ran through his hair and his heart quickened from the soft, light touch.

He
grabbed the lush curves of her ass but she tensed, shoving at him.

“Oh, God,”
she whispered fiercely. “Nate, let me go.”

He
immediately released her, staring down at her as confusion and frustration
warred inside him. She briefly touched her lips then cleared her throat but she
wasn’t looking at him. Nate automatically followed her line of vision. Covered partially
by the wall leading into the kitchen huddled Mikey, his small chin wobbling,
his eyes filled with unshed tears. Nate wanted to say something but words
escaped him as he fought to cool his raging lust.

Mia was
quicker to recover. “Mikey, baby, what’s wrong?” She nervously asked, smoothing
her hands down her skirt.

With
a small whimper, their son ran to Mia and buried his face in her skirt, hugging
her tight. They shared a look as Mikey clung to her. Nate’s brow furrowed with
concern.

“Sweetie,
why are you crying?” Mia asked, running her hand over his dark, wavy hair in such
a maternal gesture. The action was full of tenderness and affection, similar to
the way she ran her fingers through his.

Nate
crouched down to his son’s height when he still refused to speak. “Mikey. Tell
us what’s wrong, buddy.” Nate tried to keep his tone gentle but it still came
out forceful.

Mikey
finally turned to him, his face red but defiant as he kept himself glued to
Mia’s leg like he was protecting her. From who?
Him?

“You
were biting Mommy,” Mikey charged, his small tone filled with accusation.

Nate was
stunned by his admission. He couldn’t decide whether he should be appalled or
amused. Is that what his kissing looked like? His ego took a serious hit. He glanced
up at Mia, who looked just as surprised and embarrassed. Her lips did look a
bit swollen.

“I
wasn’t biting her,” Nate said gently, feeling like a mauling bastard. “We were…just
kissing.”

Mikey
shook his head. “That’s not how you’re ’posed to kiss.”

Nate fought
to suppress his grin. His son’s boldness never ceased to amaze him. Nate would
have laughed if Mikey hadn’t looked so serious. Instead, Nate pried him from
around Mia’s leg. He stood and lifted him up until they were eye level. His son
kept his head down, avoiding his direct gaze. Nate gently but firmly ordered
him to look up.

“Mikey,
are you scared of me?” His son took a minute answering but then shook his head.
“Good,” Nate said, “because I would never hurt you and I would never hurt Mommy.
I certainly wouldn’t bite her.” He glanced over at Mia, his eyes gleaming.
Unless she wants me to.
Mia read the
unspoken pledge in his eyes and glanced away, blushing. He grinned.

Their
fiery kiss just a few minutes ago was not far from his mind. Once again, Mikey and
his impeccable timing… Later he and Mia would have to find some time to talk
about what just happened.

“Tell
you what,” Nate said, turning back to his son, “if you promise to tell me when
something’s bothering you, I promise I’ll learn the right way to kiss Mommy.”

Mikey
tucked his head on his shoulder, nodding. “Okay, I promise.”

Nate
placed him down just as the doorbell rang. Mia looked at him surprised, a
silent question in her dark eyes.

Nate
shrugged then headed to the door. Surprise and annoyance swept over him as he
looked through the peephole. As he’d learned to do early on, he walled in his
emotions and opened the door.

“Hello
father.”

The
two men stared at each other for a moment as Nate wondered at his father’s unexpected
visit. He rarely ever visited him, especially not at his apartment. Charles
McArthur was calculating and manipulative, traits Nate was all too familiar
with. Characteristics he didn’t want near his son.

“Aren’t
you going to invite me in, Nathan?”

Manners
and a deep-rooted acquiescence forced him to step back. “What do you want,
father? I was about to have dinner.”

Charles
walked into the condo. “And you aren’t going to ask your old man to join you?”
he asked, raising a brow.

Nate
followed Charles farther into the apartment, retreating behind his cool,
indifferent demeanor. He’d learned long ago it was easier to deal with his
father like this. The less reactive he was, the less his father tried to
provoke him.

“I
have company right now so your visit is a bit inconvenient,” Nate replied.

His
father regarded him curiously. “From what I hear, you’ve gotten yourself a
family now. Imagine my disappointment when I had to hear it first from Carlson,
instead of my own son, that I had a grandson.”

Nate’s
jaw clenched.
Damn Fred.
Though he
hadn’t asked the other man to keep Mikey a secret, he hadn’t expected him to go
discussing it with his father so soon. Nate would have appreciated another day
or so to tell Charles himself.

“Do
you know how embarrassing it is to pretend I knew what he was talking about
when he let it slip that he would be meeting this little guy?” his father
continued. “So I figured I’d get ahead of him and check out this family my
son’s been keeping from me.”

Before
Nate could respond, Mia came out of the kitchen. “Nate—” She came to an abrupt
stop, glancing at him then back to his father, uncertainty and anxiety plain on
her face. “Mr. McArthur.”

“Mia,
why am I not surprised to see you again?” his father mocked. “I hear you got
yourself pregnant with my grandson.”

She inhaled
sharply but nodded stiffly. “His name’s Mikey.”

“Mikey?”
he asked, frowning in disapproval. “If you’re expecting more for him and his
future besides a low-budget civic job, I suggest you not get him accustomed to
such lazy, common nicknames.”

Nate
fists clenched at his sides at the humiliation he could read in Mia’s eyes
though she appeared unruffled. Apparently she knew how to handle his father as
well.

“What
we call him is none of your concern,” Nate said. “He’s my son and—”

“Is
he?” Charles interrupted. “Yours, I mean. Did you have a paternity test done?”

Mia gasped
and the reigns of Nate’s patience began to slip.
Damn him.

He stepped
closer to his father, effectively putting himself between him and Mia. What
Charles was asking wasn’t different from what any rational person who didn’t
know her would ask. Nate hadn’t gotten a test done because he trusted Mia. He
knew her and he knew his father. His father’s question was meant to do two
things—to be cruel and insult her. Nate wasn’t going to let either stand.

“I
think it’s time you got the hell out of my apartment,” Nate said icily.

“Nate!”
Mia’s shocked voice forced him to check his temper and the light touch on his
arm soothed away some of his rigidity.

“Come
now, Nathan. We’re all adults here. It doesn’t take a genius to know when a
woman shows up out of the blue with a baby, she’s usually out for something.”

Suddenly
Mikey came running up to Mia. “Mommy, the clock’s beeping on the stove.” He
suddenly noticed their new guest and hid behind her skirts.

“So this
is Mikey?” his father asked.

“You
will watch what you say to him,” Nate whispered harshly to his father.

Charles
didn’t spare him a glance as he walked around him. “Michael, come greet your
grandfather properly.”

Mikey
glanced over at him and Nate nodded. His son pulled away from Mia, who was also
looking at Charles with sharp, watchful eyes. She was as prepared as he to dig
into his father if he did or said anything out of line.

Mikey
stuck out his small hand. “Hello,” he said quietly.

His
father bent down and grasped the little hand. “Hi Michael. Do you know who I
am?”

Mikey
shrugged.

“I’m
your dad’s father so that makes me your grandpa.”

Mikey
studied him. “I never had a grandpa before.”

“And
I’ve never had a grandson,” Charles said, the corners of his eyes crinkling.
“So I guess that makes us both special doesn’t it?”

Mikey
nodded, smiling.

Nate was
a little taken aback by his father’s gentleness. Not that he had seen his
father interact with a lot of children but he hadn’t expected him to harbor
this kind of patience with a four-year-old. Charles had certainly never
exhibited that kind of patience with him growing up. Nate had only known him to
be stern, rigid.

His
father stood back up to his full height. He said in a low voice only Nate could
hear. “I see why you don’t deny him. He looks just like you when you were that
age.”

Nate
said nothing but he knew Mia had overheard the comment.

“Come
on, Mikey,” she said, glancing away. “Time to eat.”

Mikey
grabbed Charles’ hand and looked up at her. “Can grandpa eat with us?”

Mia
looked over at him. Nate could tell from her drawn features she’d rather not. Yet
she left the decision up to him. Before Nate could come up with a proper excuse
to send his father on his way, Charles spoke up.

“Of
course, I’m staying for dinner,” he said and Mikey beamed. “What are we
having?”

“Cheesy
mashed potatoes,” Mikey explained, skipping alongside his father as they headed
into the separate dining room.

“Hmm,
my favorite,” Charles said.

Chapter
Eleven

It was
late but sleep eluded her.

Mia lay
awake in the silent bedroom, the night’s events replaying in her head and
driving sleep further away. She glanced at the bedside clock. Two hours ago,
she had left a silent, withdrawn Nate in his office.

He
had been distant all evening with dinner turning into an uncomfortably strained
affair, one only she and Nate had been aware of. Charles McArthur had been too
preoccupied with Mikey to realize, or care, that he was carrying the bulk of
his conversation with a four-year-old. Mikey took advantage of the undivided
attention and regaled him with tales of made-up adventures. Charles had
appeared enthralled and for a moment Mia had thought he’d impersonated a loving
grandparent well. Except Charles had seemed genuinely taken with his grandson.
He’d even suggested having Mikey spend some time with him.

While
Mikey had been delighted by the prospect, Nate had not even given it any
thought. “No,” he’d said with curt finality. “He stays with us.”

In that,
Mia wholeheartedly agreed and had been relieved Nate felt the same way.
Charles, however, hadn’t been dissuaded. He’d taken a liking to his only
grandson and apparently didn’t trust her. She hadn’t meant to eavesdrop but at
the mention of her name, she couldn’t help but hang back and let the two men
talk freely.

“Mia’s
an attractive woman I’ll give you that,” Charles had said as Nate walked his
father to the door. “But I always thought you could do better, Nathan. You
should find a woman who is…more on your level. Don’t make the same mistake I
did.”

“What
the hell does that mean?” Nate had demanded, his voice sharp.

“I’m
just saying, you can keep the calf without buying the cow,” Charles said
warily. “You have a good kid there. Pay her off and do what you need to, to
keep my grandson here.”

Charles
McArthur is what now kept her lying there wide-awake. His words had hurt a
fundamental part of her because for the first time she began to understand why
Nate hadn’t wanted anything permanent with her. Not when there was a woman out
there more on his ‘level’.

Nate’s
aloofness toward her tonight only fueled her belief. He may want to sleep with
her, but that was all he wanted—what he’d ever only wanted—from her. Despite
her efforts to guard her heart against him, she cringed at the thought of
losing him yet again before she’d even truly had him.

It was
fast approaching two in the morning and sleep was still incredibly far away. If
she was having trouble sleeping, she could only imagine how Nate was fairing.

Nate
had seen to Mikey’s bath and had put him to bed before shutting himself away in
his office. He had become a different man compared to the one who had helped
her cook then had kissed her completely senseless. She wanted desperately to
reach out to him, to know what brought on that distant look on his face every
time his father was around or even mentioned. It was obvious the relationship
between Nate and his father needed repairing—or healing. Whatever was going on
between them couldn’t be normal.

Mia lay
in the darkness for a few more minutes then got out of the bed and padded down
to the living room. It was dark but she could tentatively make out her
surroundings and headed toward the sofa. Nate was sleeping on his back, his arm
thrown over his eyes. The thin sheet lay at his feet, half on and half off the
sofa.

She
stood there for a second admiring his toned arms and well-defined chest,
sprinkled with dark hair that trailed down to his dark boxers. Just remembering
how that strong body had once pressed against hers, had once moved fiercely
over her, brought on a quivering tightness in her belly.

She
ignored it and went to grab the sheet, intending to protect him from the early
morning chill.

“What
are you doing?”

Mia
let out a loud gasp, dropping the sheet. His low, deep timbre had startled her
out of her skin. “I-I was just going to put the cover back over you,” she
whispered pathetically.

He
removed his arm from his eyes and sat up on the sofa, his back resting on the
arm. Despite the blanket of night, she could feel his dark gaze penetrating
into her.

“I
meant what are you still doing up?”

She
shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep. I figured I’d check in on you.”

“Why?”

Mia
sighed softly. “I guess I thought you would have a hard time getting to sleep
too, but obviously I was wrong. I’m sorry I woke you.”

She
started to leave but his next words stopped her. “I wasn’t sleeping,” he
whispered. “I was thinking… about tonight. I imagine you were too?”

Mia
nodded and sat down on the sofa beside him. “I heard what Charles said before
he left,” she whispered.

Nate
ran his hand over his face and let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry you had to hear
that. My father can be a real bastard sometimes.” He turned to her and said levelly,
“I hope you know, though, that I won’t go back on my word and turn this into a
custody issue.”

Relief
washed over her at his words. “Thank you,” she whispered. But what she wanted
to know more than anything was whether he felt she was good enough for him. That,
she didn’t dare ask.

“I
can’t promise my father will drop this, though,” he said, sighing heavily. “He
seemed to take a liking to Mikey.”

That
realization seemed to surprise Nate and Mia wondered at that. “Were you worried
he wasn’t going to because of me? Because he’s biracial?”

Nate
snapped his head up, his body rigid. “No. My father may be a conceited bastard
but he’s no bigot.”

Mia
nodded. “Then why were you worried about him liking his own grandson?”

Nate
scoffed. “I’m sure you’ve noticed my father is not the affectionate type. I
think tonight was the first time I’ve seen him actually smile.” Nate fell
silent then added quietly, “Makes me wonder about the man I grew up with. I wonder
why we never had moments like he did with Mikey tonight.”

Mia’s
heart squeezed for him. It was obvious father and son didn’t have a close,
loving relationship and unfortunately, she didn’t have the words he so
desperately needed to make up for that. Whatever she thought to say would
either justify his father’s actions or condemn him further in Nate’s eyes and
Mia refused to do either. Not when she didn’t understand the scope of their damaged
relationship.

“Have
you tried to speak to him about how you feel?” she offered. “Maybe talking to
him will help mend your relationship.”

“I’m
not a little boy with daddy issues, Mia,” he snapped. “So you can wipe that
look of pity from your face.”

She
could see his flinty response was a way to mask his true feelings and his pain only
broke her heart more for him. He was withdrawing again and she didn’t want him
to.

She
placed her hand lightly on his arm. “Nate, I think you need to talk—”

Her
words were abruptly cut off when he grabbed her and pulled her to him. “No, what
I need is this,” he said gruffly then brought his lips forcefully down to hers.

The kiss
was bruising. It was nothing like what they’d shared earlier. It was hurtful and
purposefully cruel. He had only kissed her like this once before, when she’d
watch him slam out of her life five years ago.

He
wasn’t giving, he was taking. Taking something beautiful between them and turning
it into something unpleasant as a means of escape from whatever hurts he
harbored inside. That knowledge hurt more than his punishing mouth.

Well,
she wasn’t going to let him slake his aggression on her again.

Mia
gathered her strength and shoved hard against his chest until he released her.
Without thinking, she struck him hard across the face. The sound of her palm striking
his hard cheek was harsh in the silent room.

They
both stared at each other. Silent, still.

“You
touch me like that again, I’ll take Mikey and leave this place,” she whispered fiercely,
her breath coming out in low, shallow pants.

His
eyes narrowed as something dangerous flashed in them before reflecting a cool
reserve. He moved away from her and dropped his head in his hands. “Sorry,” he
murmured stiffly. Then he added after a moment, “It’s late. You should go to
bed.”

When
she continued to sit there, he turned to her, his eyes distant, vacant. “Now.”

Mia calmly
rose and left him to his dark thoughts, powerless to pull him back to her.

* * * *

The
next morning, the alarm blared in Mia’s ear. It seemed like just moments ago
she had laid her head down on the soft pillow only to be rudely pulled away.

She
reached over and pounded on the clock. She really needed to move this out of
the bedroom. It would serve Nate better out there.

As
she lay in a quiet room, she couldn’t help but think about him and what had
happened hours earlier. She ought to just lay here and let him wake himself up,
she thought disgruntled.

The jerk.

Yet Mia
found herself rolling out of the warm, comfortable bed and walking to the
living room. She found him sleeping on his stomach this time, his face turned
toward her. In sleep, with his walls down, he looked boyishly handsome. His usually
hard features were now relaxed and he looked nothing like the troubled man she
had tried to comfort last night. Mia moved closer, shoving at his shoulders.

“Nate,
wake up.”

He
came up with a jolt. Mia stepped back and gave him room as he sat up, rubbing
his hand over his face and down the back of his neck. He looked vulnerable with
his hair tousled and the small lines imprinted on his face.

He
looked like he needed comforting. He looked like he needed her.

Mia
looked away, reminding herself not to let her heart soften toward him again. It
would be better for both of them if she just kept her feelings for him sealed away
so they could get through these next couple of months. She started to leave him
but he stopped her.

“Mia,
wait.” He reached out and pulled her to a stop. The hand around her wrist was
non-threatening and, if she wanted, she could have easily pulled away. Instead
she looked down at him, her brow raised, waiting.

He
dropped his hand. “I’m sorry about last night,” he began, his voice filled with
clear regret. “It won’t happen again. I want you to feel safe here.” He paused
for a moment then added, “I want you to feel safe with me.”

His dark
brown eyes were intense yet anxious and rueful. It could have been his ruffled expression
or her silly, irrepressible love for him, but with one look, he had her. Mia
sighed. Thoughts of keeping her distance suddenly seemed…laughable.

She stepped
closer to him, until she was standing directly in front of him, and gingerly
placed her hand lightly on his head. He closed his eyes, resting his head
gently on her abdomen.

“Nate,
I do feel safe with you,” she whispered, running her fingers through his hair,
enjoying the feel of the silken strands. “But when you’re ready, you’ll need to
tell me what that was all about.”

He
shook his head. “It was just me being a dumbass. And not wanting to hear the
truth.”

Mia
looked down at his bent head. She had a feeling he was still not facing that
full truth.

* * * *

Over
the next several days, her morning
wake-up
calls
became a sort of routine for them.

She never
got around to moving the alarm clock out of the bedroom and knew it was because
she enjoyed the quiet moment they shared in the early light of dawn. It gave
her an excuse to be near him, to touch him.

She
had stopped offering to trade places since he kept insisting he was fine where
he was. So each morning, she kneaded and rubbed his shoulders and back, relieving
his sore muscles and enjoying the groans of pleasure her touch wrenched from
him.

Yet
despite their nearness and the heat radiating from their close bodies, he didn’t
try to kiss her again. She recognized the desire in his eyes every time they
were alone, noticed the way he discreetly kept the sheet pulled over him, but
still he made no move to touch her. It was probably for the best, she kept reminding
herself, though it didn’t shake her feeling of frustration and disappointment.

Thankfully,
his ‘hands off’ rule only lasted until the end of the week.

It was
Friday and her boys were both headed to work. All week Mikey had been excited
about going to the office with his father. Since it was a half day, or ‘Summer
Friday’ as Nate had explained to her, it would be a perfect day to spend some
time with Mikey and give her some time to herself.

“Mommy,
you have to hurry. We have to go.”

She
smiled at her son’s fervid demand. He wore a serious look on his face as if he
were heading off to an important venture. He and Nate had plenty of time to
make it in by eight but her son was growing impatient with her unhurried preparations.