Because This Is Forever (10 page)

A
cold chill ran down her back. She knew enough of the law that if he decided to
fight her for custody, he may just win. She was on shaky ground and he had the
stability and financial backing to his advantage.

“This
was a mistake,” she whispered, backing away from him. She turned to leave,
fully intending to grab her son and get as far away from him as she could. She got
as far as two feet before he grabbed her arm and jerked her back.

“Mia,
if you walk out of here,” he growled close to her ear, “I swear, I’ll make sure
you regret it.”

She
ignored the pain of his tight grip and whirled around to face him. His face was
a harsh mask and whatever they had once shared, whatever he had once felt for
her, might as well have never existed. Would he actually try to take away the most
important person in her life? The only person who mattered to her more than her
own life?

“Would
you really do that to me?” she whispered thickly, tears blurring her vision as
she stared at him searchingly. “Do you hate me that much?”

“Damn
it, of course I don’t,” he said gruffly, crushing her to him. The tension and
anger fell away from him as he wrapped his arms around her. “I’m not trying to
take him away from you, Mia, but I don’t want you to punish me either for
something I said a long time ago.”

Punish
him? He thought she hadn’t told him about Mikey out of spite?

Mia
pushed away from his tight embrace and looked up at him. “I’m not trying to hurt
or punish you, Nate. But I’m his mother and he needs me.”

He
stared down at her, his eyes grim. “He needs both of us.”

Mia
took a deep breath. He was right. Because she had only known the love of one
parent, and had been just as determined as her mother to raise her child on her
own, she’d forgotten a fundamental point in raising a son. Even with all the
love, nurturing, and life lessons she could provide, she couldn’t teach Mikey to
be a man. Their son needed him as much as he needed her.

Mia
glanced away from him, hating herself for her selfishness. After all these
years, she finally realized she had made this all about her and his rejection
of
her
. She hadn’t given him a chance
or a choice, so she had no right to keep Mikey away from him now.

She crossed
her arms around her middle. “I really screwed things up, didn’t I,” she
whispered.

“In
this, I think we both did,” he said softly. “Now let’s make it right.”

She
nodded. “How?”

He
leaned against the counter, his eyes unreadable. “Stay with me this summer.”

When
she didn’t immediately respond, he continued. “I can take care of you and
Mikey. You won’t have to worry about anything.”

“Summer’s
a long time and I do have responsibilities back in Detroit.”

“Is it
work?”

“No,
not really, but I have to start looking for something more stable.” Her temp
jobs wouldn’t be able to support them, especially after Leah left. “Mikey’s also
gonna start preschool this fall and I have to get him registered. Then there’s
the house. If I don’t pay the bank by September…” She glanced away, not needing
to get into details about what would happen if the bank foreclosed.

He was
silent for a long time. Finally he said, “Give me the summer and I’ll pay off
the mortgage.”

Her
gaze flew up to him. Expecting to pay off such a large amount just to spend
time with his son seemed crass of her. Then again, wasn’t this why she was
here? What he was proposing would solve a big problem for her. Spend the summer
with him and he would save their home.

It was
that simple…and yet, that hard.

“Okay,”
she whispered.

He
visibly relaxed.

“I’ll
have to go back and get us some more stuff,” she continued ruefully. “I didn’t
pack enough for us to spend the whole summer away.”

Nate
shook his head. “You just got here and I don’t want you to have to make the
long drive for stuff you can buy here. I’ll set up an account for you and you
can get what you need.”

Mia
wasn’t looking forward to the drive either so she didn’t argue. The irony wasn’t
lost on her that she had no money of her own and would have to depend on him for
their living. She would take it but she didn’t have to like it.

* * * *

Mia was
still smiling from Mikey’s reaction to the news that they would be spending the
summer with Nate. Their son had literally thrown himself at Nate with a loud ‘Yay!’
Thanks to Nate’s fast reflexes, he had managed to catch him mid-air.

Mia
had then called Leah to tell her about their change of plans and the short list
of things she would need her to send to them.

However,
her conversation with her sister only made Mia lose her positive outlook on
their arrangement.

“How
do you know he’s not gonna try to get custody of Mouse?”

“He’s
not,” Mia had said, though even to her own ears she didn’t sound convincing. “Nate
just wants to spend more time with him so they can get to know each other. It
is his right.”

Leah
scoffed. “Mia, all he has to do is prove you can’t take care of your kid and
the courts will be on his side.”

“He’s
not like that.” She may have thought that herself not too long ago, but she
believed Nate when he said he wouldn’t try to take Mikey from her.

“Really,
Mia?” her sister said, exasperated. “Then why doesn’t he just give you the
money now? He’s probably stringing you along and when you least expect it, he’s
gonna take Mikey away and not give you a damn dime.”

Mia shook
her head, trying not to let her sister’s assumptions cloud her judgment. Nate was
honest, sometimes painfully so, and she didn’t believe he was manipulating her.
Besides, Leah didn’t know him beyond the one meeting they had so long ago. She
wouldn’t understand.

Yet
the budding uncertainty wouldn’t leave her. Nate and Mikey had formed an
instant bond and Nate looked at their son in the same way she felt. With love and
fierce protectiveness. Would Nate actually let them—rather, Mikey—go at the end
of the summer or would he come up with yet another proposition? One that could
keep Mikey here with him permanently.

Mia
shook the negative thoughts away. She wouldn’t let her sister’s suspicions
change her mind. Nate may not have wanted children then, but he wanted to be in
Mikey’s life now, which was all Mia could have hoped for.
She would give him the summer as he’d requested
and trusted he would honor their agreement at the end.

Seeing
how father and son were together, the issue wasn’t whether Nate would let Mikey
go, but whether Mikey could let
him
go.
How would she handle that if her son refused to leave his father?

Chapter
Nine

It was
Sunday morning, when Nate realized he needed to child proof his home. It wasn’t
just the shattered vase or the juice stained carpet, or even the bright orange fingerprints
on the walls. It was Mikey’s near fall on the edge of the center glass table that
had practically stopped his heart.

Mikey
was a small ball of energy and excitement. He couldn’t sit still so Nate decided
a trip to the park would help him expend some of his pent-up energy. While Mia
had been in the kitchen packing a quick lunch, he’d found Mikey jumping from
the sofa to the single seater. Nate had just entered the living room when Mikey
decided to show off his ability.

“Look,
Daddy, I can fly!”

Mikey’s
confidence in his ability, however, was grossly overstated. He wasn’t going to
make it across and Nate knew it.

Nate
got there barely in time to catch him before he nearly hit the sharp edge of
the center table. Mikey had giggled and squealed, unaware of his near fatal
accident, but Nate’s heart pounded in his chest. He looked at the glass table,
the edge looking sharper than it ever had before. And that hadn’t been the only
hazardous piece of furniture he’d noticed. Everywhere he looked, there was a
potential for serious injury. Nate began making a mental list of things he
would need to cover or get rid of. He couldn’t endure another scare like that.

Before
he had sat Mikey down, Nate had wrangled a promise from him to never try ‘flying’
again, which Mikey had immediately followed up with a, “Why come?”

“Because
you scared the hell out of me,” Nate responded without thinking.

Mikey
covered his mouth, giggling. “Daddy, you said a bad word,” he whispered.

Nate
reminded himself he needed to watch his language around his son for these next
two months. Nate’s jaw clenched, thinking about the arrangement he had entered into
with Mia. He hated the thought that he had so little time with his son when he
had already missed out on so many years. However, it had seemed like the only
way he could get Mia to agree to stay.

He’d
meant what he’d said to her about not taking Mikey from her, but he honestly
didn’t know if he could let her take their son away from him at the end of the
summer. A son he was just getting to know. Nate tried not to think about it right
now. He would deal with that when the time came.

They eventually
made it to the park, which was crowded with families, students, and some tourists.
The park was one of Chicago’s bigger, popular parks with lush green fields and
an enclosed playground with white, fine-grain sand.

“I
forgot how beautiful this city is,” Mia whispered, her face turned up to the
warm sun.

They
both sat on one of the park benches facing the playground Mikey was now running
around in. He entered a brown and red playhouse and was momentarily hidden from
their sight.

Her
small smile of pleasure was enchanting and he found himself smiling in response.

“I’ve
never been to this park,” she said, turning to face him. “How’d you find out
about it?”

“We
have the annual company summer picnic here.” Her eyes widened in surprise and Nate
laughed. “It’s sort of a new thing we started a few years back as a way to give
back to our employees and boost morale. The next one’s coming up in a few weeks.”

“That’s
sounds like fun,” she whispered, glancing away.

Nate
shrugged. The event was more for his employees than for him. Though he made an
attendance every year since its start, Nate had never had a reason to stay
long. He’d greet his employees and their families then make a quick exit.
Looking over at Mikey, he thought his son would thoroughly enjoy himself there.
“The employees seem to really like it,” Nate said. “And I think you and Mikey
would too.”

“I’m
sure we would,” she said, still not looking at him but there was clear
uncertainty in her tone. “To be honest, though, I have a hard time picturing your
father out here, in khakis, mingling with his employees.”

Nate
saw what she was doing but let her steer the conversation elsewhere. “My father
doesn’t come to them,” Nate said mildly. Charles McArthur had actually been
against the whole thing but when he’d noticed the improvement in employee performance
and retention, he couldn’t deny this was just one of the many changes that had
been worth the investment. As a result, McArthur, Murphy and Company had been
recognized as one of the most sought after companies and last year they had
been listed as one of the top ten family-friendly businesses to work for in
Chicago.

“Then
how did you get away with throwing a company picnic?” she asked, finally
looking at him.

“I
took over for my father after he retired two years ago,” he said with a wry
smile. “With him out, I’ve been able to implement a few more changes.”

“I
never imagine you heading up MMC,” she said thoughtfully. “The traditional
nine-to-five never seemed to be your thing.”

“Yeah,
well things change,” he said staring off in the distance. After their breakup,
Nate had thrown himself into his father’s company, working until he would pass
out with exhaustion so he didn’t have to think about her during those quiet
nights. His work schedule was more balanced now, but he still kept up with his
investment company, though he wasn’t as active in taking on new clients as he’d
once been.

Silence
stretched between them, until he finally asked, “What happened with law school?
Did you ever finish?”

“No,
I had to take a break when I had Mikey,” she replied softly. “And there wasn’t
time to go back.”

That
bothered him to think she had never finished the one thing she had been so dead-set
on five years ago. If he had been there with her during it all, she probably
would have been able to find the time. “Do you want to go back?”

She
shrugged. “Maybe…when the time’s right.” She fell silent after that simple
response. He was about to tell her that the time was now right just as Mikey’s
squeal of joy came flittering to where they sat. They turned to the direction
of the sound to find him being chased by another little boy around the
merry-go-round.

They
both smiled.

Since
she wasn’t going to elaborate, he let the subject drop. “When did you move back
to Detroit?”

She
paused before answering him. “A few months before I had Mikey.” She looked down
at her hands. “My mother offered to help me while I got the hang of things,” she
whispered.

Nate
thought about the last night he’d seen her. “That night,” he began. “Is that
when you left?”

She gave
a curt nod. “The thought of being pregnant and alone in a city where I had no
family was…scary.”

Nate
didn’t like to think she had felt helpless and alone when he’d been there. Then
again, she hadn’t even told him about her pregnancy. Did she think he would
have abandoned her once she’d told him? Had she thought him that big a bastard?

“You
weren’t alone,” he said, his voice tight. “You should have told me.”

She
turned away from him. “Yeah, I know that now. But back then, the last thing I
wanted was for you to think I was trying to trap you.”

His
irritation immediately left him when he thought of their conversation that night
long ago. He vaguely remembered telling her marriage and children weren’t for
him. He’d been content with the way things were between them but then she’d
wanted more than he was prepared to give her, or any woman for that matter, and
that had been the end of them.

They
had been perfect together but marriage, even the promise of marriage, would
have complicated things between them. He didn’t understand the need to legally
bind himself to
any
woman. To him,
marriage didn’t mean happiness or love or any of the crap the media pushed into
women’s heads. It meant loneliness and anger, resentment and regret.

His
parents’ marriage was a perfect example of that. They were married only because
his mother had the good sense to get pregnant with him and snare herself a
husband who was pretty well off. His father had decided to do the honorable
thing by saddling himself with a wife and kid he spent most of his time
ignoring. Apparently, the sheer expense of a divorce, alimony, and child
support, as his father occasionally reminded him, kept him from dissolving his
loveless marriage.

With
his opposing outlook on marriage, Nate couldn’t blame Mia for thinking he would
have accused her of trying to trap him. He honestly couldn’t say he wouldn’t
have suspected her of it had she told him she was pregnant. He’d been young and
adamant against marrying anyone. A baby, however, changed everything and he
certainly wouldn’t have left her had he known.

“Either
way,” he finally said, “I would have been there with you.”

“I
guess I let my selfishness get in the way,” she murmured. “It’s not like you
needed to marry me to be in Mikey’s life. Plenty of couples have kids without
being married these days. I was thinking only of myself, thinking I had to have
it all.”

Nate
looked at her but she kept her gaze averted. Her explanation was her way of
apologizing for her decision that resulted in their current situation.

“I
played a part in all this too,” he said. “We both have our regrets, and what’s
done is done. Let’s call a truce and begin again.” He held out his hand to her,
palm up. “Deal?”

She
glanced up at him with a small smile. “Deal,” she said slipping her hand into
his. He brought it up to his lips for a quick kiss.

What
was meant to be a chaste and light-hearted peck ended up sending sparks surging
between them. She must have felt it too because she snatched her hand away and
clasped it tightly on her lap.

They
continued their conversation, which now centered on their son.

“And
he was just two?”

She
nodded, a small smile on her lips. “I don’t know where he got the idea to strip
his clothes off and run out of the house in the wee hours of the morning but I
eventually had a new doorknob installed so his little hands couldn’t get to it.”

Nate smiled,
loving the way her eyes softened when she talked about their son, even when Mikey
had given her just one more reason to pull her hair out.

Just then,
Mikey came running up to them with his hands cupped in front of him. They both
smiled as he drew near.

“Look
Mommy,” Mikey said, “I got something for you.” He opened his hand and dropped
something green on her lap.

They
both stared down at it, perplexed. Then it came to him.

“Oh
my God,” Mia whispered, her voice wavering. “Is that a—”

She
didn’t get to finish. The large, bright green grasshopper jumped off her lap and
onto the ground. Nate didn’t think he’d ever seen Mia move so fast. He stared
in amazement as she flew out of her seat, shrieking, shuddering, and shaking
her skirts.

Mikey,
however, continued giggling over her panic. His son’s next words were so
unexpected, Nate threw back his head and laughed.

“Mommy,
did he scare the hell outta you?”

* * * *

During
the drive back home, Mia and Nate had their first argument on parenting style.

“Mikey,
that was not funny,” Mia berated her son again, still shuddering from her son’s
little stunt. She hadn’t stopped reprimanding him since they left the park and
Nate’s obvious amusement over the incident only added to her annoyance.

“Oh relax,
already,” Nate said, still amused. “He’s just being a kid.”

“First,
don’t tell me to relax,” she snapped. “It wasn’t your skirt that thing was
crawling over.”

“It
didn’t hurt you,” he said, glancing at her from the driver seat. “Hell, I think
the damn thing was more scared of you than you were of him.”

Mia
pursed her lips. “Now I see where he got it,” she muttered. “One day with you and
he’s already dropping H-bombs.”

Nate lost
his smirk. “What? Hell?” he asked, incredulous. “That’s technically not a bad
word.”

Mia
glanced back at Mikey, who sat looking out the car window, seemingly oblivious
to their argument. “That must have been okay when your parents were raising
you,” Mia said sharply, “but I don’t want my four-year-old talking like that so
I’d appreciate it if you’d watch your language around him.”

“Because
a few mild swear words are gonna turn him into a delinquent,” Nate bit out sarcastically.

“Maybe,”
she snapped. “I don’t know what kind of father you want to be but you obviously
have a lot to learn.”

Nate
fell silent and Mia immediately regretted her words. From his clenched jaw and
tense profile, she realized she had gone too far.

Later
that night, as she prepared Mikey for bed, their argument replayed in her head.
Her son’s forlorn words had her revisiting their angry discussion.