Becoming His (47 page)

Max’s hand slowly unravels from my hair and slides along my jaw, stopping at my chin where he gently clasps and turns my head so my eyes return to his. “You just what?”

“I don’t know. It scared me, Max. It really scared me. It still does … I mean, I’m nothing like her.”

“Why are you afraid?” he whispers.

“Because obviously you cared for her if you guys dated off and on for years; there was something bringing you back to her. And when I see her, all I see is everything that I’m not. I mean the dress, the eyelashes, the inflatable pool toys she calls her chest.” Max laughs and wraps the hand holding my chin back to my neck and brings his other hand up to cup my face as I stare into his sapphire eyes.

“I’ve never cared for anyone the way that I care for you. It scares me, like nightmare inducing scares me, how much you could hurt me,” I admit quietly.

“How do you not see it?” His thumb softly brushes my cheek as his eyes warm, turning a brilliant blue. “Ace, I know. I know who you are, and that’s why I love you. I love that you will throw on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and go out in public with me. And I love that you have a ridiculous number of old shirts that you wear without a care in the world, because even when you’re wearing them with jeans, you’re always the most gorgeous girl in the room.” His face tilts closer to mine, his eyes shifting between mine before his head shakes slightly.

“I don’t want you to be like her, and I’m not just talking about the way that you look, because even if she was as beautiful as you are, I still wouldn’t be with her. That’s why we kept breaking up. We were trying to force a circle through a square. We never fit. She never knew me. You.” Max’s head shakes again as his eyes close. When they open again they settle on mine. “You know me. You know me better than anyone.”

“You’re so much more than she is. Everything about you is what I want. Your brilliance, your sense of humor, your heart, the fact that you can’t stay awake through an entire movie … all of it is what makes me love you more every single day. Converse shoes and all, it’s you that I want. It will always be you. I can’t go back, not now.”

“What about the boobs?”

Max laughs, shaking his head. “I choose you, Ace. Only you.”

I lunge at him, kissing him again with all of the love and strength that he’s just bestowed upon me.

“I love you, Max,” I whisper against his lips before sealing my lips back over his.

F
inals week is rough. I feel like I’m dating my flashcards, notes, and textbooks. I eat with them, fall asleep with them, and go everywhere in between with them. It’s a very one sided relationship. However, it seems to pay off when my finals all go relatively smoothly.

At the end of my final exam, which happens to be Philosophy, I feel both relieved and exhausted.

Wes packs up his things and wishes me a good Christmas. He’s headed to Tennessee with his parents to visit his grandparents for the holiday and tells me he’ll see me on New Year’s Eve before leaving. I wait until the rest of the class files out before I head up to Professor Parker to hand in my exam.

“So, I apologize in advance if I make this really awkward,” I begin. His eyes lift from the stack of papers he’s already looking over and eyes me cautiously. “And I can tell by your face that starting with that line, I’ve already made this awkward …” I shake my hands, taking an audible breath. “So I really enjoyed your class, and I think you’re a really great teacher—”

“I’m sorry, Harper, but I don’t date students.”

“And that’s a really good thing,” I instantly reply, blinking a couple of times as I try to think how I’m going to recover from this. “I
am
trying to set you up, but not with
me
. I have a boyfriend. It’s not a date, I mean, I hope that you guys like each other, and I really think that you will. It’s one of my sisters, I have four of them … but that’s irrelevant.” I wave my hand, pushing my thoughts aside. “There’s no pressure to meet her, but if you’re interested, my boyfriend, Max, my sister Jenny, and I are going to this concert at Balboa Park tonight. It’s really casual.”

“I’m actually going to be there,” he admits after a beat, still looking cautious.

“Really? That’s great! The band is amazing. I’m glad that you like them. It’s another point in your favor.”

His eyebrows knit together slightly and I feel myself wince.
You’re making this awkward. Where in the hell is my charming, charismatic side?

“Anyway, this is my number. If you’re interested in meeting up you can text me.” I place the sticky note with my number on his desk without waiting for him to accept it and walk out of the class, still concerned that he thinks I’m hitting on him. Though, I don’t doubt he thinks I’m completely socially inept.

Max is waiting for me when I step outside, casually leaning against the wall like he always does as girls give sideways glances at him and loudly giggle in an attempt to catch his attention.

“Will you come in here a second please?” Max raises his eyebrows at me while I take his hand and open the classroom door.

Professor Parker glances at me and then to Max, his face unreadable.

“This is my Max … my boyfriend, Max,” I correct, kicking myself for again displaying another socially inept example.

“Nice to meet you, Max.” Max’s face is tight, looking defensive, obviously not clear why I’m explaining to my teacher that I have a boyfriend and feeling the need to show proof.

“I invited Professor Parker to the concert with us tonight, with Jenny.”

I feel Max relax beside me and see the recognition on his face. When I’d mentioned setting them up, he’d laughed at me, like I was amusing.

“You should come,” Max says confidently, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “Bosse girls will change your life.”

I smile at Max, weaving my arm around his waist before turning to Professor Parker and wave goodbye before we leave.

T
hat night Jenny, Max, and I sit together on a large blanket, overlooking the stage. We’re close enough that we can enjoy the music, but far enough away that it allows us to talk over the noise.

We’re a little over an hour into the show when Max squeezes my hand and tilts his chin toward the stage. I look up to see Professor Parker approaching us, looking slightly timid, and even younger without his usual sports coat and loafers.

“Hey, Professor Parker.” I stand up and raise a hand to wave at him, smiling in greeting as he steps up to the blanket.

“Outside of class I’d prefer you call me Adam, Harper.”

“Fair enough. You should probably call me Ace, then.”

“Ace?” he asks in a clarifying tone.

I nod and turn to Jenny. “
Adam
, this is my sister Jenny.”

Jenny stands up and smiles warmly as she extends her hand. He returns her smile, taking her hand in his. He then greets Max with a nod before joining us on the blanket as I nestle into Max.

The four of us spend most of the evening talking rather than watching the show, but it’s the perfect environment and adds to the ease of conversation. I learn that Adam’s from Oregon and shares a passion for baseball with Max. He fits in comfortably, weaving into conversation like this is something that we do often.

I quickly notice how attentively he watches Jenny when she speaks, smiling at her and leaning closer and closer to her as the night wears on.

I’m constantly tied to Max tonight. I feel as though I’ve barely seen him in the last week and have the desperate need to be as close as possible to him and constantly touching.

When the concert ends, Adam invites Jenny to grab a drink at a nearby bar. She accepts, looking both giddy and nervous. We say goodbye, and Max and I follow the current of people out to the parking lot as I cling tightly to his side.

He wraps his arm around my shoulders, holding me securely in place, ensuring that he wants me to be close to him as much as I do.

When we reach the Jeep, Max opens the passenger door for me, and I clutch tighter to him, refusing to let go as I bury my face in his shoulder and feel his laugh. “I’m glad you missed me this week,” he admits, squeezing me tightly against him as I take in a deep, cleansing breath of Max and smile.

“I don’t want to let you go.”

“Ten minutes, then we’ll be home and I won’t allow you to be more than three inches from me at any given time,” he assures me. I give him one final squeeze before reluctantly releasing my hold of him and climbing in the car.

We spend the night tangled together getting a renewed sense of energy after the long week as we explore one another like it’s the first time.

Two weeks later Mindi expands our family as baby Juliet is born, gracing us with my fifth niece that is just as perfect as the other four.

A
week before Valentine’s Day, Max closes my anatomy textbook lying across my lap and tosses it to the ground with a loud thud. I frown, looking up at him, and he gives me a devious smile and pulls the covers down, climbing on the bed looking ready to pounce when both of our cell phones chime simultaneously.

“I thought she gave up on texting after she sent that message about your Aunt’s ass looking big in those pants and accidentally sent it to your aunt?” Max asks as I roll for my phone.

“She did. It’s probably Kendall or Jameson yelling at us for you throwing my book on the ground.”

“Throwing,” Max scoffs as I slide my finger across the screen when I see that the message is from Jesse. “It’s probably Mindi complaining about her tattoo hurting again. You guys should have reneged on making her and Savannah getting theirs done.”

“Not a chance,” I reply absently.

Jesse: what do u think of spending V Day in Vegas?

Neither Abby nor I are twenty-one yet.

“Who is it?” Max asks, softly placing kisses along my jaw towards my ear.

“Jesse. He wants us to go to Vegas next week for Valentine’s Day.”

Max acknowledges me with a quiet hum. I don’t know if it’s in interest in going or his current mood as his lips find the sensitive skin behind my ear, causing my body to shiver and heat all at once.

My phone chimes again and I drop it to the bed while Max traces his tongue along my ear. It chimes again, and again, and then once more before I groan in frustration and pick it up.

Jesse: She says u don’t have a choice

Jesse: She says u r the MOH, so u have 2 come

Jesse: R U there?

Jesse: She thinks UR freaking out

“What!” I shriek. Jerking upright, I nearly slam my forehead against Max’s.

“What’s wrong?” He bolts up and looks at me with concern.

I turn my phone so he can read the screen. His eyebrows shoot up a second before a giant smile covers his face. I pull my phone back and don’t bother responding to Jesse. Instead, I scroll to Abby and hit send. Sitting fully erect in bed, I proceed to squeal as soon as she picks up. Then we squeal together for a few moments as Max laughs and flips the TV on as Abby begins telling me in minute detail about the proposal.

“W
hat’s going through your mind?”

I turn to look up at Max and see his eyes focused on me. His arm tightens around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him.

“I’m just surprised. I don’t know. It just seems so weird for one of our friends to be getting married. I mean they’ve only been dating since like August, and Abby’s only twenty.”

Max shrugs. “I thought we discussed that love doesn’t have age limits.”

I grin and let out a shallow breath. “I know, I just, I don’t know.”

“You just want what’s best for her because she’s one of your best friends,” Max supplies. “It’s alright to feel nervous for them, and it’s even okay to voice your concerns if you feel like that’s necessary. But sometimes people are ready at twenty. They know that they love the person and aren’t interested in spending another day without declaring to the world that they love that person.”

“Yeah, but who says you have to do that by getting married?”

“Pretty much all of society. Why do you think there’s such a fight for marriage equality?”