Becoming Rain (32 page)

Which tells us that Aref knew what Vlad had in store for Rust.

Miller doesn't know all that, but Rust dying scared him enough. What I witnessed the day of Rust's funeral was Miller telling Vlad that he wanted out.

And Vlad telling Miller that Rust had wanted “out” too.

It's all great information, and exactly what we expected to get from him. But it's not enough. So Miller has agreed to wear a wire to his meet with Vlad tonight, in exchange for immunity and Witness Protection for him and his family.

By sunrise, we'll have that Russian asshole.

It's hard to be excited when I can't seem to dislodge this painful knot in my throat. Because by sunrise, I'll be saying goodbye to Luke.

“Licks needs a run.”

I look up to see Luke wearing his track pants.
Luke
needs to run, is more like it. He's as much on edge as I am. I'm sure he's heard enough of my conversations with Warner over the past twenty-four hours—from the confines of his room—to figure out that something's happening tonight.

“I don't know if that's such a good idea,” I offer as gently as I can, glancing over at the clock. One forty-five a.m.

“I run every single day. If anyone's watching us, they'll notice,” he counters in a flat voice.

He's right. Except that he hasn't gone running in the past two days. Plus, it's in the middle of the night and therefore not the safest time to go out. Still, his hands are visibly shaking. He's as much on edge as I am.

“Okay. Just let me get changed and we'll go together.”

When I leave my room, he already has both dogs on their harnesses. I walk toward him, feeling the weight of the hidden gun strapped to my ankle beneath my pants. “You're not going to try something stupid, are you? Like run away from me?”

“No.”

“Are you lying to me?”

“I've never lied to you.” Clear blue eyes stare hard at me. I can't read anything besides pain and accusation in them. So acute, though, that I'm forced to look away.

“You've hardly eaten in days.” I gaze at the full plate of pasta he dropped on the counter, the one I brought to his room hours ago.

“You ready?” He ignores my concern. “I wouldn't want to be out of your sight and have you send me to jail on a technicality. Especially after I've given you everything.”

He doesn't trust me. He'll never trust me again. I can't blame him.

But it hurts, all the same.

■ ■ ■

Water splashes against my pants as we jog through the puddles of the dimly lit path, lined with corners and shadows that are testing my anxiety limits. I've jogged with Luke several times before and it's now clear he always slowed down for my benefit. The punishing pace has my lungs burning and my heart pounding, until I have to call out, “Slow down!”

He does, finally, leaving me hunched over and struggling to catch my breath.

“You can hate me all you want, but don't try to kill my dog.” I pick up a wet and wheezing Stanley, my eyes scanning the shadows. I don't like standing out here. Even in the darkness, I still feel someone could pluck us off like birds sitting on a wire.

“But I thought you loved this.” A bitter chuckle escapes him and he throws his arms out, palms up, to accept the cold drizzle as it seeps into his clothes. “Or was that part of the lie too?”

“Say what you want to say, Luke. Get if off your chest. I can handle it.”

Luke's breaths are just as ragged. He keeps his legs moving by walking in small circles, his head hung, his hands now on his hips. For what feels like forever, I just stand there, watching him.

Waiting for the accusations and insults to begin. I expect him to call me a two-faced, conniving bitch, a slut, a terrible lay. A dirty cop.

Anything to try and heal his pride.

“I'm getting exactly what I deserve.” His eyes are focused on the trees, on the path, on the ground. On anything but on me. “I can't get those pictures out of my head. Every time I close my eyes, I see a red Ford pickup truck and fuzzy dice. And a car seat.
I
pulled that car seat out of that truck, Rain. And I just tossed it aside like trash, and now I can't stop thinking about the kid who sat in it.”

The rain and the darkness mask a lot, but they don't hide the sheen in Luke's eyes. “How could Rust have been involved with that! How could I have let myself get involved in that?”

“You're helping stop it, now that you know it's happening,” I offer. “You're helping to stop people who hurt others from doing it again.”

After a pause, “Miller didn't hurt anyone,” he argues, his chuckle bitter. “No more than I did. He's got a family to feed, a kid in a wheelchair, and now, because I ratted him out, they're going to lose everything. He should be the one with this deal, not me.”

So that's what's weighing on Luke's guilt, on top of everything else.

I sigh. “We were putting surveillance on Miller anyway. He isn't going to lose everything.” I step in close, because I'm about to say things I'm not allowed to, that can't be overheard. Even without a soul out here, I'm still paranoid. “Vlad wanted to take over Rust's operation and cut him out of it, and Miller helped him do it. He's not innocent.”

“No.” Luke shakes his head furiously. “You guys are fucking crazy with your theories. Miller was loyal to Rust. He's one of the only guys that Rust trusted. He wouldn't stab him in the back like that.”

“We caught him with the stolen cars and brought him in. He admitted to it all last night.”

Luke looks like I slapped him across the face. I reach out, letting my fingers graze his forearm, layered in raindrops and gooseflesh from the cold. “He fed Vlad information and introduced him to Rust's high-level fences. Vlad worked his way in, paying the guys off to keep quiet while they filled orders for him.”

“But . . . why?” A heavy, disbelieving frown pulls at Luke's brow. “Rust was always so good to him.”

“Because Vlad threatened him and his family.”

Shock fills Luke's face as he processes my words. Maybe the shock is why he hasn't pulled away from my touch yet.

“And Aref made a deal for those SUVs with Vlad. The same deal he made with you guys, only I'm guessing it was for a faster delivery date. That's why he didn't care when you told him you were out. He never intended on going through with it.” I pause, offering the last bit more gently. “I'm pretty sure he knew that Vlad was going to kill Rust.”

Another slap to Luke's face.

Maybe Aref does have a redeeming quality, in that he tried to protect Luke from a bullet to his head through Elmira's warnings. Or maybe it was Elmira operating on her own, the entire time. I still haven't figured her out. Now, with both of them overseas, I probably never will.

“I can't trust anyone, can I?” All pretenses of a confident man are long gone from his voice. He sounds completely lost, hollow.

“Yes you can. You can trust your friend Jesse, and Alex, and Sheriff Gabe. They care about what happens to you.” I hesitate before I add, “And though I know you don't believe it . . . I care, too.”

Silence hangs between us. Finally he admits, “I don't hate you. But you broke my fucking heart, Rain. Clara.” He wipes the rain off his face with an upward stroke, pushing his fingers through his hair. “I don't even know what to call you. You're not even real.”

“I
am
real,” I argue, my grip on his arm tightening. “You got a lot more of the real me than you ever should have. For what it's worth, I can't tell you how many times I wished that Sinclair was wrong, that you weren't involved. Then, when I figured out that you were, I wanted things to be different. I tried to make them different.”

I get a glimpse of the Luke I knew before when he leans forward, pressing his forehead against mine. “But they never will be different now, will they?”

His tears burn against my cheeks, so cold from the rain. I'm sure he can feel mine too. I swallow, wanting so badly for him to lean forward more, so I can taste the ones that have rolled over his lips.

“How am I going to live with myself after all this?”

“You'll figure it out. You're a decent person. You just needed a good, harsh rain to remind you of it.”

I feel his breath skate across my lips. “I knew that was a metaphor.”

I smile at the weak joke, daring to brush my lips against his.

My phone starts vibrating in my pocket. I want nothing more than to ignore it for just a few minutes, but I know that's a bad idea.

“Yeah?”

“Where are you?” Warner's more abrupt than usual.

“Just out for a run with Luke and the dogs. Why?”

“72 wasn't at the exchange with Miller. Our guys tailed some other guy driving his car from his house to the meet spot.”

“Where is he, then? At home?”

Silence. “We don't know.”

My heart begins racing, pumping adrenaline into my body. My eyes are scanning the shadows with renewed fear. “Call you in five.” I pull my Glock out of my ankle holster. “Let's go. Now.”

Luke must sense that something's wrong because he doesn't ask questions, swooping down to grab both dogs under an arm. He sticks close to my side as we jog back, our pace even faster than the one Luke set before.

Only when my back is pressed against the inside of my front door, with the deadbolts in place, the security cameras on us, and a team of cops watching the entries from outside, do I allow myself to breathe again.

“What's going on?” Luke asks, his chest swelling with each ragged breath.

I'm past the point of caring what I'm supposed to tell him. So I tell him exactly what Warner told me.

“Do you really think . . .” His wary eyes shift to my gun.

I throw the safety back on and slide it into my holster. “Honestly? No, I don't. I think he just changed up the way things work, now that Rust is out of the picture. But I wasn't risking anything happening to you.”

A flash of pain touches Luke's eyes with the reminder, but I see him working to push it aside. “So what does this mean now?”

I heave a sigh, the words bitter in my mouth. “That Vlad might get away.” I pull my phone out to touch base with Warner.

I knew this was all too easy.

Chapter 63

■ ■ ■

LUKE

I feel like I haven't seen the sun in years.

Maybe that's why I've been lying in Rain's spare bed for over two hours—ignoring the fact that I need to take a piss—to stare at the broken lines of muted light stealing through the blinds to stretch over my sheets.

It sure as hell doesn't feel like it should be sunny outside.

I don't get all the legal shit that Rain was explaining last night, but I got the gist of it: that they've got a ship with cargo containers filled with stolen cars and car parts, one of Vlad's guys in a room identifying Vlad as the mastermind, and a bag of cash that I assume is Miller's payment but is only a fraction of what Vlad would have paid out to Rust.

But no Vlad.

And nothing to tie Vlad to anything beyond hearsay.

So basically, Vlad is going to get away with everything. So is Andrei, by default.

I hear a soft knock just a second before the door creaks open. Licks and Stanley tear out of my room.

“Coffee?” Rain holds up a mug.

“Yeah, sure.” I think that cold rain seeped into my bones last night. Even after a hot shower, I still woke up shivering.

“I'll take the mutts out!” a deep male voice calls out from the living room.

“Thanks, Warner.” Rain strolls into my room and places the mug on my nightstand. “Black, right?”

I can't help but stare into her light blue eyes. They're lined with dark bags, telling me she didn't sleep much. “Was that in my file, too?”

She smiles and her gaze drags over my body, stalling on the tent that my morning dick is making, before quickly turning away with a blush.

Part of me wants to tease her, just like I used to do. “What's he doing here? Does that mean we're not keeping up pretenses anymore?” Disappointment stirs inside me.

“I need a few hours of sleep. Otherwise, I may shoot you.” A sly grin touches her lips. “I don't think you want that.”

“No, that would suck after all this.” Rain, with a gun. Sure, I know she's a cop. I know she has a gun, but actually seeing her pull it last night, right before ordering me to move, made it hit home
.

“What would have happened last night, if Vlad had showed up?” Vlad wasn't waiting in the shadows to kill me. He probably hasn't given me two seconds' thought since the funeral. But for those five minutes between the phone call and getting home, all I could think about was keeping Rain safe. Ironic, considering she was the one with the gun, protecting me.

I'm beginning to understand that she's been protecting me for a lot longer than last night.

“If he was armed, I would have shot him.” No hesitation.

I believe her. Something's shifted between us since last night. I think it has more to do with me than her. I spent hours lying in bed, trying to review every moment since the day I met her. All the ways she deceived me for her case.

But doing that made me realize all the ways she also helped me. This mess with Vlad was going down one way or another. If Rain hadn't been here, who knows where I would have ended up?

Maybe in that SUV with Rust.

In a sense, she saved me. So no, I don't hate her.

I miss her. She's standing a foot away from me and I miss her so damn much.

Her eyes flash. “What?”

I reach out to graze her knuckles with mine. “Thank you. I know you're doing it for the case, but . . . what's gonna happen now?”

With a sigh, she turns and sits down on the edge of my bed, her back to me. “They're searching the cargo containers for any evidence. But we're waiting on Sinclair to make the call. They may have enough to issue an arrest warrant for Vlad in Rust's murder soon.”

“So that asshole wasn't bluffing when he told me they had something?”

She chuckles softly. “No, he actually was. But the guy they brought in last night for the money exchange with Miller was more than happy to offer information on Rust's murder. Apparently he knows exactly which Dumpster Vlad pitched the gun into.”

That same chest pain that flares at mentions of Rust throbs again. “That was over a week ago. The Dumpsters would have been emptied.”

“I know. The police are sifting through trash as we speak. They also have some surveillance video that they're looking into.” She sighs. “It's not over yet.”

“But what about this case?”

“Sometimes it takes months. Sometimes we get a lucky break.” She pauses. “And sometimes we have to just be happy with scaring people into stopping without ever being punished. There are a lot of cars on that ship and we've gathered a lot of names. We'll get some arrest warrants out of this and do more surveillance, which will lead to more arrests. It's a long process.”

“So . . . does that mean you're going to be here until it's all wrapped up?”
Hell,
three days ago I couldn't even look at her. Now I don't want her to leave.

“The case is going to go on for months. Maybe years. But for me . . .” She takes a deep breath. “Yeah. My part's pretty much done.”

She'll go back to her life as a cop. Or not, if the way she's helped me gets her into trouble. “What's going to happen for you?”

“I don't know yet. They'll send me back to D.C., for sure. Then . . . I don't know.”

No more Rain.

My fingers curl around the hem of her T-shirt, reveling in its softness, her slender figure now striking me as so much stronger than it ever did before. “You wore this that night on the yacht.”

Her profile is so beautiful when she smiles. “You remember.”

“Of course I do.” With only slight hesitation, I slip a hand under to graze her back, letting my finger trail up along her spine, all the way up to see that she's not wearing anything underneath. She shivers but doesn't stop me, doesn't say a word when I slide my hand around, letting her right breast fill it.

“Rain?”

She turns to look at me, her lips parted, her eyes burning. “Yeah?”

The front door slams shut and the sound of paws on the hardwood announce Warner's return.

I hear a soft “
shit
” escape Rain's mouth as her eyes close, her frustration so obvious it makes me chuckle. She stands, moving away from my touch. “I'll see you in a few hours, okay? I need to sleep.” She can't peel her eyes off me.

Fucking Warner.
“Okay.” I know I shouldn't, but I'm running out of time with her. I can't help myself. I toss my bedsheet off and stand, earning her wide-eyed stare, before I head for my bathroom, feeling her gaze on me the entire time.

■ ■ ■

“Do you always watch this much baseball?”

“Yep.”

One-word answers. That's what I've been getting out of Warner for the past four hours, when he isn't answering calls. Sometimes he wanders off to the other side of the condo while he's talking, but he holds onto the damn remote so I can't change the channel.

I could just go back to my bedroom and watch TV there—and that's likely his aim by being such a dick—but I feel caged in there.

Plus, truth be told, I'm just waiting for Rain to wake up.

With a sigh, I head over to the fridge and crack open a beer.

“That better not be my IPA!” he barks.

I pour half of it down my throat before I hold up the can. “You mean this one?”

He glares at me.

“Want one?”

“Can't. I might accidently shoot you if I'm drinking,” he mutters, eyes back on the screen.

“Everyone's talking about shooting me today.” He's in a pissy mood. I wonder if it's because of me or because of losing Vlad. Either way, with a gun holstered to his side, I probably shouldn't irritate him. “When do you think Rain's going to wake up?”

“You mean Clara? I think I heard her shower running, actually.”

I frown. I didn't hear a damn thing.

“You know that whatever you two had is over, right?” He watches me through those dark, shrewd eyes, like he can read my every thought. “She's a good cop and she's got a big future ahead of her, as long as no one drags her down.”

“I'm sure she'll figure out what she wants.” I take another sip.

And silently hope that what she wants involves me.

“She wants to make a difference in the world. She's not the kind of girl to play house. She wouldn't be happy.”

“What are you two talking about?” We both turn in time so see Rain step out of her bedroom in those yoga pants that she knows I love, her hair dark and wet from a shower. Eyes still weary but more rested than before. And not carrying a gun, to my relief.

“Did Sinclair get hold of you?” Warner asks. There's excitement in his voice.

She frowns slightly. “Yeah. He did.”

“Good news, right?”

She takes a deep breath and then nods. I could be wrong, but it doesn't seem like good news.

“What's going on?” I blurt out. “Is this about the case?”

“Sort of. Clara's heading home and you're free to go. Your Russian friend is no doubt aware of the investigation by now, so you two don't have to keep faking your romance.”

My stomach sinks with his words. That's it? Just like that?

Rain takes a deep breath. Is it one of relief? Frustration? Does she feel any of the sadness that just washed over me? Stanley trots over to climb her leg. She picks him up and hugs him. “You ready to fly to your new home?”

He snorts in answer.

“Did someone book my flight already?” she asks, her eyes not leaving his bug eyes.

“Ten a.m. tomorrow.”

Tomorrow?

“Okay.” There's a long pause. “So I'm
officially
off this case and Luke is
officially
free?”

“Yup.”

She takes a deep breath. “I want the cameras shut down.” Warner opens his mouth but she cuts him off. “Please, Warner. Make it happen.”

His jaw tenses as his gaze flickers between me and Rain. Finally, he nods. “I'll take you to the airport in the morning.”

“Sounds great. Thanks, Warner.”

Heading for the door, he stops a foot away from me. “I don't want to ever see your fucking face again, so stay away from trouble.”

With that, he's gone.

“So . . .” Rain tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, her fingers trembling slightly. “You're free to go home anytime you want.” Wandering over to the counter, her back to me, she unscrews a fresh a bottle of wine and pours herself a glass. I watch in silence as she takes a long, slow sip of her glass. An agonizingly slow sip.

Where do we go from here?

I don't want her to leave. That's all I know.

“Do you remember when I told you that I didn't like the idea of looking out my window and you not being there anymore?”

Her head bobs up and down.

I step forward, resting my hands on her shoulders, able to see the tears sliding down her cheeks. “I'm dreading tomorrow.”

“Me too.” She leans back and turns her face to rest against my chest, her eyes closed. This is the real girl. And I've seen her before. Rain may not have been real, but this person right here is, and I know her. I've known her this whole time.

“Can I show you something?”

Glossy eyes open to stare up at me. “Please.”

Curling her fingers into mine, I lead her toward my bedroom.