Becoming Three (3 page)

Anger, rage, and jealousy ate at the man in the hallway, consuming him with the need to create violence. Jace burned inside as he listened to Sarah and
another goddamn man
fucking. Their moans rushed over him, into him, and he just barely stopped himself from barging into the room and pummeling Jasper Simmons.

You'd have to pull Sarah off his cock first.
How in the hell had this happened? Jasper had only ever been in their living room and kitchen with Sarah, and the man was sweetly friendly and plenty awkward enough to keep Jace's radar silent.

Damn it. He wanted to know how in the hell that innocent little friendship, where Sarah and Jasper barely said two words to each other, had evolved into the intimacy Jace had overheard taking place in Sarah's bedroom just now.

Jace snarled, grabbed a bottle of beer out of the fridge, and took a deep drag. He paced around the kitchen table, agitation not allowing him to sit down. As he moved in a continuous circle, he wondered how in God's name he could explain to Hunter that he'd let Sarah get involved with a ranch hand who had little to nothing, other than a job, to call his own. The guy didn't even own a vehicle, for Christ's sake. He had no family worth speaking of, not even a high school diploma to put on a wall, and he could barely get by on a technical truth that he had a clean record. Jasper had slashed Caleb Hawkins's tires four years ago after the man fired him for violating Hawkins Ranch rules. If Caleb hadn't decided to take Jasper under his wing and give the kid another chance, Jasper could have ended up being as big a blight on society as his older brother.

No, Jasper is not a rapist
. Even silently, Jace would not allow himself to get away with such a broad-sweeping, negative judgment of Jasper Simmons.
If you had even the slightest worry about Jasper's character or how he treats women, you never would have let Sarah go out with him in the first place. On top of that, you know damn well you respect a whole lot of people who work as cowboys or who don't have formal educations, so don't pretend as if that's your basis for wanting Jasper out of Sarah's bed and out of your home.

Jace squeezed his hand around his beer bottle, fighting a returning deviant sexual desire he had successfully suppressed for over a year.
Cries of completion suddenly rang through the house, tearing at Jace's control once again. He closed his eyes, inhaled, and knew he could smell the thickness of sex and orgasm drenching Sarah's bedroom, right where he stood. As much as Jace wanted to rip Jasper Simmons off Sarah and drag him out of this house, the most private, raw part of Jace knew his body craved something else with equal power.
Right now, in this kitchen, Jace's cock pushed with iron hardness against his jeans, begging him to enter that bedroom and take a piece of Sarah for himself. The thing that only six people in this world knew, though, was that Jace desired men just as much as he did women.
He could see himself fucking Jasper just as vividly as he could Sarah. He wanted both of them, together. He craved sharing a bed with a man and woman, as he had not been able to do in over a year. Now that he had heard Sarah and Jasper in the heat of passion, his body ached to be a part of them down to his very marrow. As completely as he understood and accepted that part of himself, Jace knew he could never act on those desires with Sarah and Jasper. Not without ruining three lives.
Jace spun away from the table and slammed his fist through the kitchen wall.

“You sure you don't want some coffee?” Sarah asked once Jasper gave her a second to catch her breath. As they shuffled to the kitchen in each other's arms, she accepted his kiss with a smile on her lips and could feel he still wore one too. They'd spent their first full night together; she was sore as hell from how many times they'd had sex, and she'd
almost
never been happier. “I don't mind making it. I promise.”

He pecked a fast kiss to her nose and forehead. “No, thanks. I need to get goin', or I'm gonna be late.”
Jasper had one of the Hawkins Ranch trucks parked out front; last night, he had been bursting with the news that Caleb was going to sell the older vehicle to him. It never bothered Sarah that Jasper didn't always have transportation, but she knew it sometimes upset him, so she was happy he'd found something of quality he could afford.
“If I don't haul ass and push that battered truck as fast as she'll go,” Jasper added, “I'll never make it to work on time.”
“Careful who you say that around, Mr. Simmons.” Jace's voice swept across the air, mockingly soft, and tore Sarah and Jasper apart. He sat at the kitchen table, his face masked by the shadows of the departing night still hanging around outside. He looked right at Jasper, his pale eyes almost luminous in the low light. “Speeding is against the law.”
“For goodness' sake, Jace,” Sarah said before Jasper opened his mouth. “What the hell are you doing sitting in the dark?” She put her hand to her chest and felt the crazy beating through her thick robe. “You scared the crap out of me.” Narrowing her stare, Sarah crossed her arms against her chest. “You aren't even supposed to be home. What are you doing here? At all?”
Jace raised a brow. “I live here.”
Sarah made a face at the infuriating man. “You know what I mean. When you go out with Shannon”—she mentioned his on-and-off girlfriend—“you always spend the night with her. I didn't expect you back this early.”
“Changed my mind last night.” Jace blinked and slid his focus from Sarah to Jasper, blinked again, and turned one very hard stare back to her. “Lucky for me. I got such a stimulating show here instead. An audio one anyway.”
Sarah gasped, and Jasper took a step forward.
“Hey,” Jasper said, his voice sharp, “be respectful of what you say to this woman.”
Jace's eyes slipped to icy-cold, light jade in color, and he looked at Jasper with a hint of the ruthless man Sarah knew he could sometimes be. “Made her one of those last night,” he said, “didn't you?”
Like a mountain lion, Jasper lunged across the table and grabbed Jace, hauling the bigger man to his feet. He dug his hands into Jace's half-unbuttoned shirt and shoved him into the counter, jamming him over the sink. “You say you're sorry to Sarah right now, or I swear to God I'll throw you through the window.” Shades of the tough young man Jasper had once been came out of him in full force. “Do it.”
Jace fought against Jasper's hold, but Jasper easily kept him pinned to the sink.
“Get your fucking hands off me,” Jace whispered.
“Not until you say you're sorry.”
Alarm bells sounded in Sarah's head as she took note of Jace's slowed reflexes and lack of normal strength.
“Okay, okay. Stop it, both of you.” She threw herself into the fray and dragged Jasper off Jace, grateful when Jasper raised his arms and let her step in front of him. She didn't kid herself that she had nearly enough strength in her skinnyish five-feet-nine frame to overpower Jasper without his allowing her to do it.
She held a hand to Jasper's chest and swung around to face Jace, even though she itched to smack him right now herself. “Not that you deserve my help.”
Jace righted himself and attempted to straighten his wrinkled shirt. “Didn't ask for it.”
A hint of stale beer assaulted Sarah's nose. “Are you drunk?”
Rubbing his hand over his unshaven jaw, Jace mumbled, “Not anymore.”
Drinking too much again. Just what I thought.
“I'll deal with you in a minute.” She jabbed Jace in the chest, hard, satisfied when he winced. “Don't you dare go anywhere. I'll be right back.”
She turned back to Jasper and took his hand. “You, come with me before you're late for work.”
Jasper let Sarah pull him to the front door without any resistance. “He should say he's sorry for what he said to you.”
Sarah's heart tumbled at the stubborn honor in Jasper. “He will,” she promised.
After he takes a cold shower and sobers up completely
. Her idiot soul still hurt for the man in the kitchen, a man she sometimes felt she knew better than any other single person in the world. “Jace won't admit he's wrong in front of you, though.” Gut instinct, and a bond she could not explain, forced the words to her lips. “He's not a bad person, just a pretty typical macho guy.”
“My bosses are all tough men, and they know how to make things right when they done somethin' wrong.” Jasper gritted his teeth. “When they
do
something wrong.”
Sarah smiled and leaned up to press a kiss to Jasper's cheek. “I know, and you're right. Jace isn't quite that evolved yet. It's okay, though. He'll find his way quickly enough and make this right.” When Jasper didn't look convinced, she took his hand and squeezed. “I swear.”
“I'm trustin'
you
, and that's why I'm gonna go.” He stepped closer and slid his hands around Sarah's hips to cup her ass. “But if that guy says somethin' like that to you again while I'm standin' close enough to hear it, I'll probably hit him.” Jasper's hands curled into fists against Sarah's bottom. “I know you won't like it, but I might not be able to stop myself.”
Mirroring Jasper's hold on her, Sarah looked up into his eyes. “If Jace says something like that again, I'll haul off and slug him one myself before you get the chance.” She squeezed Jasper and wiggled against his front, reveling in his hard body riding so close to hers. “It makes my stomach feel like it has butterflies in it that you want to defend me, but I can take care of myself.”
“I believe you,” Jasper said. “Remember, I'm around some ladies at the ranch who could probably kick the butts of half the guys there, so I know you don't
need
protectin'.” Twin lines of blush swept his cheekbones. “I just feel it, though, kinda natural, with you.”
“And that's kind of nice to hear.” She lifted up on tiptoe and brushed her lips against his. “More than 'kind of' actually.”
Jasper's pupils flared, and he seared his mouth to hers, stealing every blessed thought from Sarah's mind. He kissed her with hot passion, turning her body until her back hit the open door and he had her sandwiched between him and the blue-painted wood. Sarah swept her tongue over Jasper's and licked at his teeth and the roof of his mouth, all the while rubbing against him and the erection she could feel growing against her stomach. Jasper shifted his head and slashed his mouth across hers, breathing moist air over her lips and into her mouth with every taste he took. He dug his fingers into her ass and lifted her up into a rough grinding of his cock, exciting her pussy with a wash of moisture right where she stood.
Sarah moaned, drowning quickly, but forced herself to tear her mouth from his and push him a few inches away. “You have to go to work.” Hooking her fingers in his front pockets, she kept Jasper close, even though she knew she needed to let him go. “I don't want you to get in trouble over me.”
Jasper put his forehead to hers as he struggled to catch his breath. His eyes lit with gold sparks in the sea of hazel. “I know.” He closed the lapels of her robe for her and cinched the loosened terry cloth belt. “But I don't want to leave. Not today.”
“Come back tonight, if you can.” Selfishness quickly ate at Sarah's conscience. “Don't push if you're tired, though. I know how hard you work.”
“I won't be sleepin' if I'm at the bunkhouse anyway; I'm gonna be thinkin' of you.”
Sarah's heart fluttered at the natural, kind things Jasper always said to her.
Jasper lifted his head, and his gaze drifted behind her into her home. “You sure he's not gonna be such an asshole about my bein' here that I end up bustin' up your house in a fight?”
Jace
. Sarah hadn't forgotten about him. He was always in her life, somehow. “I'll take care of Jace.”
In more ways than one
. “You're welcome here, Jas, just as you always have been. His liking or not liking of it has no bearing on the matter.”
“Okay.” Jasper nodded. “I'll try to call you before dinnertime, just to let you know if we're good, or if somethin' comes up at the ranch.” He kissed her cheek one more time and backed away. “Bye.”
“Bye.” Sarah watched her cowboy tread down the steps, enjoying the view just as much now as she had four years ago. Jasper had more hardness, more masculine edges today than he did back then, and she liked the maturity that had settled on him. Shoot, she hoped she had changed a bit since then, for the better too.
Jasper drove away with one last wave. Sarah stepped inside, closed the front door, and took a series of deep, even breaths as she walked back to the kitchen.
Jace was back in his seat at the table, and Sarah paused for a second to switch on the light before taking her normal place, to his right.
The benefit of proper lighting allowed Sarah to see Jace, and the sight of the haggard exhaustion taking over his face twisted her stomach. “How many did you have?” She kept her voice soft.
“Five.” Jace rubbed at his jaw and grimaced. “Maybe six.”
“Oh, Jace.” Sarah closed her eyes for a moment as she absorbed the information. She knew Jace understood and accepted he had problems if he drank more than one beer or glass of wine or whatever. He had control over it
most
of the time. “What brought this on?” She suddenly sat up straight and grabbed his hand. “Did something happen to Hunter? Did he contact you?” Sarah had only received sporadic e-mails from her brother in the last year or so, and it sometimes felt like those came from a complete stranger. “Was it the army? Is he hurt?”
“No no no.” Jace grabbed Sarah's hand and clutched it tightly. “It's not Hunter.” He looked at her, and a deep sense of loss, as vivid as her own, reflected back at her. “I haven't heard from him since the last time you did.”
Sarah deflated, her heart aching without word from her brother. “Then what?”
“Shannon doesn't want to see me anymore,” he said, his voice flat. “We… She ended it last night.”
“I'm sorry.” Sarah pursed her lips, biting the edge of her lower one. “But I mean, I don't want to be tactless…”
Jace gave her a pointed look. “You can be worse than me sometimes, so just spit it out.”
“Fine, I'll say it. I always thought it was just about sex between you and Shannon. I didn't think you had deep feelings for her, at least not enough to make you drink more than your limit because she broke up with you.” Sarah's gaze dropped to her hand grasped so firmly in Jace's. Her palm tingled, disturbingly so. She always felt it all over whenever Jace accidentally or deliberately touched her. Right on top of that, her mind flashed with the incredible step she had taken in her relationship with Jasper last night, and she tugged her hand from Jace's hold.
Stop reacting to him.
“That's all I wanted to say,” she finished.
Jace stood and walked to the refrigerator. “I don't like that you gave any thought to my relationship with Shannon, in any context”—it sounded like he grumbled the words through a mouth full of gravel—“let alone that you figured out it was purely sexual.”
Sarah gritted her teeth. “You know, Jace, one of our biggest problems is that you refuse to see me as an adult. If you thought of me as your equal, then you could come to me when something happens instead of sitting in the dark drinking.”
Jace came back to the table, a tall glass of juice in hand. “Trust me”—he wrapped his hands around his glass in a very deliberate fashion—“it's really not a good idea for me to bring my problems to you.”
She snapped her focus to him. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing.” Resting his elbows on the table, Jace pushed his hands through his hair and left them there, holding his head up. “It just means: don't worry. I slipped up, but I have everything back in control. You won't wake up or come home one night to find me drunk or fighting off a hangover again.” He laid a steady stare on her. “I promise you that.”
“Are you okay?” The sun started to shine in through the kitchen window, but Sarah held off getting up to go take her shower. “Do I need to tell the sheriff you caught a bug and won't be able to come into work today?”
Jace scratched his head and pushed himself into a straighter position. “No. I don't need to be in until ten; I'll be fine by then.” He picked up his juice, took a big drink of it, and Sarah watched the olive column of his throat move as he swallowed. “Let me drink about a gallon of this”—he lifted his glass in a salute—“have a long shower, and I'll be fine.”
“All right.” Sarah forced herself to stand but couldn't make herself leave. Instead, she leaned into Jace and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Take care of yourself, please.” With her lips still pressed in his hair, she closed her eyes against the burn of tears. “I can't lose you.” For so many years, Sarah had felt like Jace was the only rock she had in her life. She couldn't shake the connection to this man, even though she had Jasper to rely on now too. “I
won't
lose you.”
After leaning into him for a long moment, Sarah pulled herself together and stepped away. Jace grabbed her wrist and yanked her right back to him. Her arm burned where he held her, and her breath caught at the flash of fire lighting his pale eyes.
“I apologize for my tone before, and for what I said.” Jace clenched his jaw, and it looked like he swallowed something nasty. “Your boyfriend was right about that. I shouldn't ever talk to you that way, and I'm sorry I did.”
Sarah's chest constricted, and she cupped his stubbly cheek. “Thank you.” Her voice came out scratchy, catching her off guard. Her thumb inched dangerously close to brushing across his lower lip, and she ripped her hand away. “All right; I'm going to go take a shower and get dressed before I'm late for work. Give me twenty minutes and the bathroom will be yours.”
“Thanks.” Jace settled back in his chair and took another swig of juice. “I'll be human again by then.”
Sarah turned to leave, and her attention zoomed in on the wall. She moved closer and leaned in. A gashing hole sat at chest level. She spun back to Jace and pointed. “What happened here?”
Jace gave the hole a quick look. His features bland, he said, “I tripped.”
Liar.
Sarah let it go and moved down the hallway to her bedroom, but as she gathered her stuff to take a shower, she wondered what the truth was about the damage to the wall.
Moreover, why Jace felt like he had to hide it.